5) TNA Victory Road 2011: I'm only including events that I've seen here and I wanted to spread the love (or disdain rather) to multiple promotions. There were some strong candidates here but in the end, I had to include TNA on the list. I debated between a few shows but ultimately chose this infamous event. This is the one where Jeff Hardy showed up for the main event drugged out of his mind and Sting beat him in about 90 seconds because of this. That would be enough but the rest of the card is rough. The Knockouts Tag Title is sloppy and has one of the worst looking finishes ever, full of botches. Mr. Anderson and RVD go to a double countout where the fans chanted "Restart the match", which was dueled back with loud "No" responses. Hernandez and Matt Morgan had a first blood that ended in the most ridiculous fashion. The cameraman gets a close up of Hernandez blading and then he pouts food coloring on Morgan. The referee sees Hernandez's blood first, then turns to see Morgan's fake blood and declares Hernandez the victor. What? There is an entire episode of Botchamania dedicated to it if you want to check that out.
4) ECW December to Dismember 2006: With split PPVs declining in 2006, this event pretty much ended them. The ECW brand was already failing because it was nothing like the ECW that people loved. While the brand would eventually become highly enjoyable, at this time, it barely even had a roster. It scored 90,000 buys, which is the lowest in history outside of the Network era. Part of that was because ECW sucked and part was because the WWE held a PPV exactly one week earlier. That's asking a lot of people to spend a lot of money close together. Before Christmas. Anyway, onto the actual show, which blew. The tag opener was fine but involved nobody from the ECW brand. Then, the ECW matches were shit. Tommy Dreamer vs. Daivari? Balls Mahoney vs. Matt Striker? The FBI vs. Burke and Terkay? Mike Knox and Kelly Kelly vs. Kevin Thorn and Ariel? There are no words for this. The main event was the Extreme Elimination Chamber, which actually wasn't awful. However, they took Sabu out of the match, someone who the crowd was hot for, and replaced him with Hardcore Holly. Paul Heyman wanted CM Punk to win this thing and eliminate the champion, Big Show, quickly, but instead, was the first one gone. To cap things, Bobby Lashley won the title and got this over the top celebration that the fans and viewers wanted no part of.
3) WCW Uncensored 1996: I only recently watched this event and my goodness, it falls off a cliff. The first two matches are decent to good. Everything after is god awful. Col. Robert Parker beats Madusa in an awful match, showing that Madusa should never have left the WWF. The Booty Man, who always sucked regardless of gimmick, but this was the worst, beat DDP in a terribly long "I Quit Wrestling" match. I should have quit watching. The Giant went over Loch Ness (remember him?) in short order before things got even uglier. Someone told Sting and Booker T that they had to wrestle the Road Warriors in a Chicago Street Fight, even though the show was in Mississippi, for 30 minutes and it made all four guys not give a damn. Everyone was so enthused and none of them seemed to care. It was lethargic. To end the show, we get the most ridiculous main event I've ever witnessed. Hulk Hogan and Macho Man enter the Doomsday Cage. It's a big ass cage that the two men have to work through against EIGHT opponents. They reach different levels of the cage, make it to the ring and then back to the cage. None of it made sense. The two biggest opponents didn't show up until late in the match, half the thing happened away from the cage, they use frying pans of all things in the finish and the WCW Champion, Ric Flair, eats a random pin at the end.
2) WWF King of the Ring 1995: In terms of missed opportunities, this Pay-Per-View basically takes the cake. While other Pay-Per-Views are flat out bad, this one is bad and features the most confusing booking of them all. So, the WWF in 1995 wasn't doing too hot when it came to top level performers. That's understandable. However, if we look at the top stars we'll find Diesel (who was WWF Champion) and I can think of eight guys that could have been in the tournament. Bret Hart, Shawn Michaels, The Undertaker, Razor Ramon, Jeff Jarrett (IC Champion), British Bulldog, Owen Hart. That's 7 and you could throw in Sid or Bam Bam to make a good KOTR. Instead, Bret was wasted in a dumb feud with the awful Jerry Lawler, Razor may have been hurt but was a manager for Savio Vega and Jarrett managed his lesser sidekick, Roadie, in the tourney. Bulldog and Owen? They wrestled to a draw in the qualifiers and were left off the show. HBK wrestled to a first round draw with Kama of all people while the Undertaker jobbed to fucking Mabel. With at least enough talent to make a decent tournament, we had to sit through FOUR Savio Vega matches and a Mabel win. Plus, the main event tag match pitting Sid and Tatanka against Diesel and Bigelow was terrible and drawn out. It's like they booked this show while drunk.
1) WCW Souled Out 2000: This is often overlooked on lists of worst Pay-Per-Views ever but I can't fathom why. It is absolutely atrocious in every conceivable way. I reviewed it here. Read that when you're done here. There are 12 matches and none are able to crack ** with a Saturn/Kidman match coming the close at *3/4. Four of the matches get DUD ratings and it's just all bad. Dean Malenko loses the opener by exiting the ring. Seriously. They debut their version of the Hell in a Cell (Caged Heat) and waste it on Kidman vs. the Wall in a match that I gave 1/4*. Vampiro, David Flair and Crowbar try to one down each other in a putrid triple threat match. The worst thing of the night was seeing the terrible Jim Ross parody, Oklahoma, take on Madusa for the Cruiserweight Title in a match that saw Oklahoma retain and involved BBQ sauce. Seriously, there are no redeeming qualities about this show.
Fastlane 2015
February 22nd, 2015 | FedEx Forum in Memphis, Tennessee | Attendance: 13,416
Coming off of the heels of one of their most negatively received Pay-Per-Views in history, the WWE was looking to turn things around at this event. One month prior, their Royal Rumble ended with Roman Reigns winning and receiving an incredibly negative response from the live crowd. It ruined his moment and the fans basically hijacked the entire Rumble match. Here, we have the first ever Fastlane event, which replaced Elimination Chamber and would set the stage for WrestleMania. Unlike a lot of PPVs from the Network era, this one does not have a Kickoff match.
For being the WWE in 2015, this is a rather disappointing opening video package.
Big Show, Kane and Seth Rollins vs. Dolph Ziggler, Erick Rowan and Ryback
The face team here were all fired for their roles against the Authority at Survivor Series. This is a diet version of that match. The crowd is pretty hot for Dolph Ziggler and Ryback, and the Authority are the most hated heels, so this is a good choice to open things. Commentary tries to put Show over by saying nobody can go toe to toe with him. Lawler suggests Brock Lesnar and JBL claims he would love to see that. Dude, it just happened a year ago and Brock murdered him. Rowan plays the face in peril, which is a problem because he’s the one the fans care least about. That’s not a good way to build sympathy. Ryback is rightfully the guy to get the hot tag and does some of his impressive power offense. He eventually gets stalled by the Authority and Dolph enters. He gets close to a win but is knocked out by Big Show, allowing Kane to win it.
Winners: Big Show, Kane and Seth Rollins in 13:01
With Erick Rowan playing the face in peril, the mostly dead crowd was even quieter than really dead. The match itself was decent but the finish was atrocious. The man who came back from down 3 on 1 at Survivor Series gets pinned and it’s not even by the guy that was the next big star, it was by Kane of all people. **¼
The Authority beat up their opponents after the match until Randy Orton returns. Like a bad face, he’s late as hell in making the save. He comes back in his gear, which I’ve always hated. Why would he be in his ring attire? That doesn’t make any sense.
Goldust vs. Stardust
The late Dusty Rhodes has a heart to heart with Goldust before the match. If you’re looking for an amazing match, this wasn’t it but I think there was some good storytelling. It starts with them exchanging moves but when Goldust gets the upper hand, we start to see more of Stardust shine though. He goes deeper into character and his expressions do a good job of showing his frustrations. There’s a cool spot where they each drop to the mat for an uppercut like strike. Cody shouting “who’s your favorite?” as he beats up his brother was well done. Stardust goes for his finish, but Goldust counters into a crucifix. The referee only counts two but then calls for the bell.
Winner: Goldust in 8:56
While I thought they tried to tell a good story, the actual in ring action left something to be desired. The dead crowd didn’t help a match that was relatively dull and had a terrible finish. Cody Rhodes’ ability to completely lose himself in his gimmick is the highlight of this match. **¼
We get a recap of the homemade videos from Jon Stewart and Seth Rollins during their mini-feud.
Backstage, Stardust attacks Goldust in front of Dusty. When Dusty shouts “Cody”, Stardust goes nuts. He says that Cody, the breakout star of Legacy, the Intercontinental Champion, dashing, the Prince Cody…is dead and he blames Dusty for sticking him with him Goldust.
WWE Tag Team Championship
The Usos (c) w/ Naomi vs. Tyson Kidd and Cesaro w/ Natalya
The fact that Cesaro and Tyson Kidd were a thrown together team but managed to mesh incredibly well together, is a thing of beauty. The challengers, being fantastic wrestlers, pick a body part and work it. They choose Jimmy’s knee and do everything to it well. From a half crab to Cesaro doing a one legged swing. Jey gets the hot tag but ends up in trouble when Cesaro hits his dead life superplex right into Kidd nailing an elbow. Great tag team work here. Kidd tries the Sharpshooter but it is countered. WE GET US SOME FLYING USOS MAGGLE! A creative spot comes when an Uso pulls Kidd’s leg from the apron into a Samoan drop into the barricade. Inside, things break down with a Sharpshooter and superkick before Cesaro and Jimmy or Jey fall outside. Kidd uses a kick to Jimmy’s leg to set up his finisher and win the straps.
Winners and New WWE Tag Team Champions: Tyson Kidd and Cesaro in 9:34
Really good old fashioned tag team wrestling here. They went out and had a no nonsense match that was just straight up enjoyable. The leg work made sense and actually played into the finish, the outcome was kind of unexpected and it just worked. A few more minutes to build stuff and this could have been great. ***½
I’m not a fan of long promos on Pay-Per-Views but that’s what we get here. Triple H comes out, “meaning business” because he has a leather jacket on. He calls out Sting after running down WCW, even though their feud “wasn’t about WCW”. Sting comes out and Triple H wants to keep his legacy alive with merchandise sales, which is a dumb offer since WWE Shop was already selling a ton of Sting stuff. Thigs get physical, HHH goes for the sledgehammer but Sting has the bat. He points to the WrestleMania logo before planting HHH with a Scorpion Death Drop. That is how the WWE set up the TERRIBLE Sting/Triple H match at Mania.
WWE Divas Championship
Nikki Bella (c) w/ Brie Bella vs. Paige
Fun fact; I met Paige at Comic-Con the night before this show and she was one of the nicest and coolest wrestlers I’ve ever met. Surprisingly, this is the first PPV meeting between these two, despite the fact that they had a never-ending rivalry. Paige attacked quickly since the Bellas made her life hell in recent weeks. Nikki turned it around and threw her into the guardrail. Nikki is trying to bust out the big offense, showing off an Alabama Slam for two. They botch a rollup into the turnbuckle, which came off looking really bad. Nikki then hits a big powerbomb but that only gets two also. Paige comes back, looking for the PTO but Nikki reaches the ropes. She then retains after a rollup with a handful of tights.
Winner and Still WWE Divas Champion: Nikki Bella in 5:35
Outside of the rollup botch, this was a well-executed match. Of all of the Divas on the main roster, Paige and Nikki probably have the best chemistry. My biggest issue with the match was that it was so short and they tried to cram a lot into it, as well as the cheap finish. **½
WWE Intercontinental Championship
Bad News Barrett (c) vs. Dean Ambrose
Between the Fall of 2014 and early 2015, Dean Ambrose’s booking was absolutely baffling. Here, we have a shining example. The guy is over like crazy and attacks Barrett early. In recent weeks, Barrett had been dodging him, so this made sense. Barrett knocks Dean off the top to take control, getting in some shots to Dean’s ribs. He’s in control until Dean does his variation of Nigel McGuinness’ rebound lariat, but on the outside. Dean comes close with a small package and looks to be on the verge of victory. Ambrose kicks out of Wasteland and dodges the Bull Hammer before coming back with a loud rebound lariat. Barrett escapes Dirty Deeds and tries to leave but eats a suicide dive. Here goes that baffling Ambrose booking as he attacks Barrett and the referee calls the match because he doesn’t stop at the five count.
Winner via disqualification: Bad News Barrett in 8:03
When I first saw this show, I gave this match a better score but I take that back now. They worked at a decent pace for the time but this felt like something that belonged on a Smackdown, rather than a PPV. The booking of Dean Ambrose was also dumb and this finish was not what the crowd wanted. *¾
We now get what we think is the Undertaker, but when the casket brought to ringside is opened, it is Bray Wyatt. He cuts a promo about resurrecting the “Deadman” and becoming the new “Face of Fear.” This was long and while Bray is interesting, this was just another promo to build towards a WrestleMania match. Not exactly what I want to see on my Pay-Per-Views.
WWE United States Championship
Rusev (c) w/ Lana vs. John Cena
Neither guy is really able to grab the upper hand through the early stages of his match. When Rusev finally does get in the driver’s seat, he picks Cena apart. I would like to commend Lana at ringside, as she is great at her facial expressions throughout this entire thing. Rusev begins to grow frustrated when he can’t put Cena away, making me question if he’s ever watched a Cena match before. HE FEARS NOTHING AND REGRETS LESS! He goes into the FIVE MOVES OF DOOM, telling Lana that she can’t see him. Rusev blocks the AA and hits some big offense for two, including a spinning slam and jumping kick. Cena hits the AA eventually but Rusev joins the now long list of people to kick out of it. Remember when doing so was a big deal? Rusev powerbombs Cena and puts on the Accolade. Cena, being Cena, powers out until Lana enters the ring. The referee pulls her out and helps her out of the ring. With him distracted, Rusev kicks Cena in the dick, then the face and then puts the Accolade back on. Cena is out like a light.
Winner and Still WWE United States Champion: Rusev in 18:42
This was one of those situations where these are two guys who just never really clicked in the ring. They would have three more singles matches on PPV and none would be better than this, which wasn’t great. Rusev did a fine job in his first big time PPV showing and it only got really good near the end. ***
Daniel Bryan vs. Roman Reigns
The winner of this match gets the “prize” of facing Brock Lesnar at WrestleMania. Commentary hammers home the idea that while Bryan is the better wrester, Reigns is the better brawler. Funnily, JBL says that if add wrestling ability and brawling together, you get Brock. Makes sense. Bryan tries some of his submission holds but Reigns powers out, and Bryan’s reaction to this is great. Like, he realizes what happened but is also ready to adjust. They continue to trade blows and it’s power against technical skill still. Reigns even busts out some offense that I haven’t seen him use since and didn’t see before. Bryan avoids a Superman punch with a kick to the mid-section. This wisely brings in the hernia injury that took Reigns out of action for three months. Bryan attacks that injury and Reigns sells it very well. Bryan hits a suicide dive, but goes to the well too often as Reigns catches his next attempt with a belly to belly suplex. After Reigns misses and hits the steps, they tease a double countout. Bryan kicks out of a superman punch and then counters the Spear with a small package in a brilliant reverse. Reigns kicks out of the running knee, which Cole says is the first time it happened, but I’m pretty sure Randy Orton did it at Mania. Bryan goes into his kicks but Reigns catches one so he slaps him and goes to the Yes Lock. Reigns survives it and then powerbombs out of another submission. With both guys on the mat they go into a series of strikes that Bryan wins with kicks. He goes for another running knee, but is met with a Spear that ends this.
Winner: Roman Reigns in 20:10
This was the type of star making performance that Roman Reigns needed to have before winning the Royal Rumble to avoid that backlash. I loved this match. They played the power vs. technical stuff extremely well. It wasn’t like Reigns dominated and Bryan rallied either or vice versa. Neither guy gained a true upper hand and both had to go through a lot. The hernia injury coming into play was masterful and I like that they didn’t overdo the false finishes like a lot of big WWE matches. Bryan gave Reigns the rub that he needed and this did exactly what it needed to. ****¼
After the match, Daniel Bryan and Roman Reigns shake hands.
Overall: 4.5/10; Below average. I wanted to like this show more. The main event is fantastic and the Tag Team Title match is worth checking out for sure. Rusev/Cena is their best outing, but still nothing you need to see. My biggest issues with this show were the fact that we had a lot of lame finishes (IC Title, Divas Title, US Title), disappointing matches (opener & Dust Brothers), too many promos and it just came off as a giant commercial for WrestleMania. This could have been an episode of Raw instead of a PPV. Up next, “Random Network Reviews” has me look at Superbrawl 2000!
Raw History
Episode #58
April 11th, 1994 | Memorial Auditorium in Utica, New York
Things start with the Bushwhackers, MOM and the Smoking Gunns pleading their cases for people to vote for them to get Tag Team Title shots. Vince McMahon asks Macho Man who he votes for when it comes to the Tag Team Title match. When he says himself, Vince says that he has to be on commentary. Savage is all like “WHOOPDEDOOBIGDEAL ANOTHER ACCOLADE FOR THE MACHO MAN”. The sarcasm in his voice was obvious, but I feel like there was a fair amount of truth to what he said.
Also, I will no longer be rating squash matches. Only the matches featuring two actual Superstars.
Diesel w/ Shawn Michaels vs. Virgil
Vince McMahon always hypes Virgil like he’s some sort of threat. Diesel is in complete control in the early stages of this match. He seems to be stalling, making this match last longer than it needs to. Macho Man craps on Vince’s theory that Virgil will be a threat when he says that Virgil has already surpassed his expectations. Virgil rallies from a bearhug and gets a near fall. Diesel finally puts him out of his misery with a Jackknife.
Winner: Diesel in 5:22
This lasted far too long. It was an extended squash that got drawn out to be far too long. ½*
Jerry Lawler is brought out on his big throne. Among the men carrying him out are Barry Hardy and D-Lo Brown. It’s time for the King’s Court, which always sucks. He falls out of the chair and crashes to the floor. Lawler complains about people laughing at him before bringing out his guest, Lex Luger. Luger laughs at him and disses him before Lawler starts to question him about the allegations against Mr. Perfect. Lawler even shows him the footage that proves Mr. Perfect did nothing wrong but he still acts like Perfect is some criminal. He wants him in the ring soon.
Thurman Plugg vs. Barry Horowitz
I feel like these two ended up teaming up the following year. During the match, Mr. Perfect calls in and says that Lex Luger is still wrong. Savage calls him a coward. Savage at least admits that Perfect was legally right, but he claims he was morally wrong somehow. Plugg wins with in a nothing squash match.
Winner: Thurman Plugg in N/A
I don’t have the time for this as my stream kept cutting in and out and it was getting annoying to time this. Standard squash though.
WWF Tag Team Championship
The Quebecers (c) w/ Johnny Polo vs. Men on a Mission w/ Oscar
Dammit fans. You voted wrong. The champions try to attack before the bell but it quickly backfires and the challengers throw them around. MOM continues to be in control though Mabel is too fat to get out of the ring quick enough, so Earl Hebner has to send him out, causing him to miss a pin. Mo is going to be our face in peril as usual. It’s all rather dull. Mabel gets the mild tag and plods through his offense. When things turn around, both teams tease near falls and play some tricks on each other. Polo gets in some cheap shots on Mo, causing Mabel to slam him outside. This allows the Quebecers to hit Mo with their finish and retain.
Winners and Still WWF Tag Team Champions: The Quebecers in 9:46
The Quebecers are normally a safe bet for a good match but it’s almost impossible against Men on a Mission. Still, this might have been the best performance by the challengers. *¼
Next week, Bret Hart takes on Kwang!
IRS is in the ring to tell Tatanka to pay the taxes on his headdress. That’s it, that’s the only reason he got in the ring.
Overall: 2/10. Man the in-ring stuff tonight was bad. When Men on a Mission is in the best match of the night, you know you have a problem. At least they did a good job in setting up the eventual Luger/Perfect match that they thought would happen, but it did come on the awful King’s Court.
Raw History
Episode #59
April 18th, 1994 | Memorial Auditorium in Utica, New York
The show opens with another shot of Jerry Lawler falling last week. I feel like Vince found this much funnier than most. Macho Man again throws his name out for competition again but Vince gives zero fucks.
Non-Title Match
Bret Hart vs. Kwang w/ Harvey Wippleman
Kwang attacks from behind before the bell, which reminds me that this used to happen a ton back then. He lays into Bret with some bad looking KARATE before Bret turns it into a wrestling match and takes control. They fight outside and Kwang misses a kick, hitting the post instead. Vince shouts like this is some insane spot but it isn’t. As Kwang works over Bret, Owen Hart calls in. Kwang locks in the nerve hold, which is what you should do during the commercial break, not when you return. Owen makes a good point that he beat Bret on Bret’s best day since Bret would go on to win the gold. With the call over, Bret goes into the FIVE MOVES OF DOOM and Kwang submits to the Sharpshooter.
Winner: Bret Hart in 6:56
Solid little match here. Bret Hart has had better ones on Raw, but this was fine. Seeing the WWF Champion compete was a rare treat in this era and Bret always delivered something pretty good at worst. **½
Jeff Jarrett vs. PJ Walker
IT’S A BATTLE OF TWO FUTURE WORLD CHAMPIONS! Granted that would be in WCW and ECW in 2000, but still. While Jeff Jarrett goes through his offense, Vince and Savage discuss a bunch of other things, including Roseanne. Vince loved to talk about her didn’t he? The match is all Jarrett except for a small near fall from Walker. Jarrett wins with the DDT.
Winner: Jeff Jarrett in 4:01
Standard Jeff Jarrett squash. A bit dull and featured some stalling.
Capt. Lou Albano demands an answer about the Tag Team Title shot the Headshrinkers want.
The Steiner Brothers vs. Barry Hardy and Mike Khoury
Wait, what? I thought the Steiner Brothers were done by this time. Oh well, they are on their way out which is unfortunate as they were a highlight in 1993. A good chunk of this match features Scott beating the hell out of both jobbers. Vince suggests that the Steiners should get a manager or a coach. Vince points out the fact that Scott is being a bit rough tonight. Vince then forgets to discuss the match and goes off to talking about everything else he could possibly think of. Scott officially murders Khoury with the Screwdriver.
Winners: The Steiner Brothers in 5:14
Longer than I would have usually liked, but the Steiner Brothers always entertain with their need to mercilessly destroy ham and eggers.
A vignette airs for Duke “The Dumpster Droese. Oh no.
Speaking of “oh no”, it’s time for the King’s Court. His guest tonight is Alundra Blayze. This should be putrid as Lawler is awful and Blayze was always a god awful promo. She calls Lawler Humpty Dumpty because of his HILARIOUS, FUNNIEST THING IN WWF HISTORY, fall last week. She calls this show a cheap knockoff of Piper’s Pit. Lawler shrugs it off and asks her where her belt is. She insinuates that Jerry stole it. Jerry denies and brings out Luna Vachon. She is now accused of stealing the belt, but she denies despite being insane. Alundra challenges her now, which Savage considers a catfight. Despite challenging her, Alundra walks off. So, do we never find out where her belt went?
Next week, Jeff Jarrett faces Razor Ramon!
Earthquake vs. Mike Bell
All night long, Vince has been pumping the house show circuit and the upcoming WrestleMania Revenge Tour. Times were certainly different back then. He says that you can see Earthquake vs. Yokozuna on the tour, which would make me sell my ticket. This is all Earthquake.
Winner: Earthquake in 3:54
Earthquake had no business being around in 1994. He wasn’t putting on good performances at all.
We get a recap from Superstars where IRS beat up Tatanka after a loss to Kwang. He attacked him with the headdress and sets up what has potential to be the worst feud ever.
IRS vs. Major Yates
Really? Major Yates? IRS does IRS things, which is all incredibly boring stuff. He literally does nothing that is even remotely entertaining. He wins with the “penalty” which is an STF.
Winner: IRS in 3:34
IRS is boring. That is all.
Overall: 3/10. The marquee matchup was decent, so the show doesn’t get an awful score. However, the squash matches were all pretty dull and the King’s Court was the usual trash that it is. Jerry Lawler is one of the worst possible hosts for a talk show. Add in that Blayze and Luna aren’t great as guests and that segment was a recipe for disaster.
Raw History
Episode #60
April 25th, 1994 | Memorial Auditorium in Utica, New York
Non-Title Match
Razor Ramon vs. Jeff Jarrett
Jeff Jarrett starts in the driver’s seat while Vince continues to plug the WrestleMania Revenge Tour non-stop. Razor catches him with a fallaway slam to the outside and we get a split screen replay. Macho Man sells this like it’s the most cutting edge thing in history. Jarrett turns things back around and works a chinlock on Razor. Razor starts to rally and we go to commercial. Seriously? Who set this up? You go to commercial during the rest hold and allow us to enjoy the comeback. It’s not hard. Jarrett works a sleeper, giving Razor a shot at a second babyface comeback. After Jarrett pulls down the ropes and Razor falls out, Shawn Michaels comes down to badmouth him. Razor nails him and goes in for offense on Jarrett. Shawn gets on the apron and is brought in the hard way. He sets him up for the Razor’s Edge but Diesel saves him and bit boots Razor.
Winner via disqualification: Razor Ramon in 9:39
Jeff Jarrett was given his first big TV match and did fairly well. He drew some good heat and the crowd was pretty into this. Razors comebacks were fun but the mistiming of the commercial breaks hurt this score a bit. **½
Diesel now hits Razor Ramon with two Jackknifes, hyping their upcoming Intercontinental Title match.
Bam Bam Bigelow w/ Luna Vachon vs. Tony DeVito
During this one sided affair, President Jack Tunney calls in. He will be launching an investigation into what Shawn Michaels, Diesel and Jeff Jarrett just did but also announces that the Headshrinkers will get their Tag Team Title shot next week. Bigelow wins via headbutt.
Winner: Bam Bam Bigelow in 2:16
Bigelow got in his stuff while we were given news. Basic.
Johnny Polo and the Quebecers freak out backstage about the title match. Polo is freaking out more as the Quebecers toughen up and say they’ll take care of their challengers.
The Heavenly Bodies w/ Jim Cornette vs. John Paul and Jason Headings
More news on commentary from Vince McMahon, who tells us that last week’s Raw was the highest rated in history. The Bodies do a nice double superkick before Del Ray this a nice powerbomb. They continue to dominate until Del Rey wins with a moonsault. Also, has he always been missing a tooth?
Winners: The Heavenly Bodies in 4:55
Better than the last squash. The Heavenly Bodies tend to bust out some fun offense from time to time, making this better than the average squash.
Time for another King’s Court. His guest is Nikolai Volkoff who has fallen on hard times. King makes fun of him for this and Nikolai says that he is proud to be an American, who is honest and hardworking, so he won’t beg King for a job. He then just goes back to his seat. Nobody cared.
1-2-3 Kid vs. Duane Gill
X-PAC VS. GILLBERG! Gill actually is able to get some offense in, which makes sense considering Kid is best when playing somewhat of an underdog. He goes into his fast paced offense, using those “educated feet”. He wins after a spinning heel kick.
Winner: 1-2-3 Kid in 3:11
Similar to Owen Hart, Kid always has fun squashes. This was another.
THE UNDERTAKER HAS BEEN SPOTTED! WHERE YOU ASK? At a deli, ordering a sub. Yup.
Owen Hart vs. Rich Myers
Hey, speaking of Owen Hart and his fun squash matches, let’s see if he proves me right here. The fans chant “we want Bret”, which angers Owen and causes his offense to be rather aggressive. Owen wins with the Sharpshooter.
Winner: Owen Hart in 3:23
He kind of proved me right. This wasn’t that much fun, but an aggressive Owen was interesting to see to say the least.
To close the show, Johnny Polo and Lou Albano get into an argument at ringside. Savage ends up holding Polo so Albano can strike him. I really feel like Savage looked for any excuse to get physical. He wanted to compete badly.
Overall: 5/10. The best episode in this batch. The Razor/Jarrett match was solid and the squashes were pretty much all decent and didn’t overstay their welcome. The King’s Court continues to drag the scores of these shows down by being awful.
Tonight's episode look pretty cool. Believer's Backlash, a ten person tag and Grave Consequences. The episode started with Catrina telling Mil Muertes to do more than just beat Prince Puma. Mil is 0-2 in Grave Consequences and she says that if he loses again, she won't bring him back this time. NO PRESSURE!
Believer's Backlash: Mascarita Sagrada w/ Son of Havoc def. Famous B w/ Brenda in 8:19
Famous B was in a red suit. For those who missed the first match under these rules, the fans bring weapons that the competitors can use. This was a blast. Mascarita got football pads to tackle Famous B in the nuts, he used the tiniest of ladders to hit an elbow off of the announce table and Famous B put him in a trash can because why not? The match moved to the ring where Mascarita put on a wizard's hat and bowled a strike, again into Famous B's groin. Dr. Wagner got involved and tried to use a framed picture as a weapon but Famous B stopped him because the photo was of him. Son of Havoc made the save to even the odds. Mascarita used the framed picture on B before Brenda took a pie to the face. Mascarita won with a big tornado DDT in what was one of the most fun matches all year. It was exactly the kind of over the top that it needed to be. ***
Mascarita and SOH cut the head off of a Famous B cardboard cutout. Famous B hilariously sold it outside. SOH gave Mascarita a vest to show their brotherhood.
Backstage, Dante met up with Killshot. Dante is AR Fox, who plays Killshot's former war buddy. They are on the same team tonight. They embraced and Killshot said it was good to have his "brother" home.
Drago practiced his nunchuck skills in the bathroom mirror. Sure, that's normal. Kobra Moon came up to him to try and get him to fight for their tribe again. She mentioned that Daga was torn apart by a "Pindar". Drago was surprised this person was alive. Vinny showe dup, farting and said he'd use the ladies room. The Kobra/Drago/Pindar stuff is interesting. Vinny, not so much.
Winners Get Spots In Aztec Warfare: Ivelisse, Jeremiah, The Mack, Mariposa and Marty Martinez def. Argenis, Cage, Dante Fox, Killshot and Texano in
This was a Dario special where he puts people in rivalries on the same team. it was the Lucha Underground in-ring debuts for Jeremiah and Dante and they started the match off. Ivelisse and Jeremiah worked well together until Cage took her out with a clothesline. After that the match broke down and everyone did some crazy shit, highlighted by Dante's imploding 450 splash to the outside. Ivelisse got a super close near fall on a rana on Killshot. She seemed to hurt her ankle. Marty went after Killshot but Dante stopped him only to fisherman buster him, giving Marty the win. Ivelisse screamed "NOT AGAIN" while holding her ankle. This was fun but pretty short. **1/2
Dario gave his brother a pep talk in the back since Aztec Warfare is next week. Matanza spoke his first word, simply saying "war."
Grave Consequences: Mil Muertes w/ Catrina def. Prince Puma in 16:26
During Mil's entrance, Puma attacked him atop the stairs and then dove out onto him. The crowd ate all of that up. They brawled all around the Temple. The bottom rope was undone and both men got thrown onto caskets. Puma nailed an awesome springboard 630 onto Mil on a casket. Vampiro continued to make interesting comments about Puma and the dark side. Puma couldn't put Mil in the casket fully so he beat the lid with a chair while it was on Mil. They continued to go to war until Mil hit a chokeslam from the top and through a table outside. He then brought out the same coffin that he used to kill Konnan back in season one. CONTINUITY! A Flatliner on the outside allowed Mil to put Puma in the coffin and win. Matt Striker sold it like it was the end of Puma's career. This was an excellent match that was just shy of besting their Ultima Lucha match in season one. It was the second best Grave Consequences match so far and told a great story of Puma wanting revenge and having some great callbacks to their past. ****
Overall: 8/10. Though I didn't love the five on five tag the way I'd have liked to, this was a really strong episode for Lucha Underground and one of the stronger ones in season three thus far. The opener was so much fun and the main event was the epic battle that we've come to expect from Puma and Muertes.
If you do want to check out Lucha Underground, which you absolutely should, and don't get El Rey Network (like me), you can sign up for the streaming service Fubo.TV. It's a great way to support the company and channel while streaming the show online. You can sign up and get Lucha Underground right here with Fubo.tv!
WWE Raw
November 7th, 2016 |SSE Hydro Arena in Glasgow, Scotland
Ah, one of the yearly non-live episodes of Raw from overseas.
THE QUEENDOM WHERE THE KINGS BOW DOWN! Stephanie McMahon opened Raw. I wonder who has opened the most Raws in history. Surely Stephanie is in the top five. She talks about Raw vs. Smackdown being a thing at Survivor Series. She hyped Goldberg/Lesnar II before bringing out the four announced members of Team Raw. In order, Kevin Owens, Chris Jericho, Roman Reigns and Braun Strowman came out. She then brought out the final member, Seth Rollins, which upset Owens and Jericho. Seth made sparkle crotch jokes and said that the issues with Owens and Jericho aren’t over. They showed Team Smackdown (AJ Styles, Baron Corbin, Bray Wyatt, Dean Ambrose and Randy Orton) on the screen. Stephanie brought up how Bray held Braun down, said that all five of them should be on Jericho’s list, mentioned the Shield and wants Owens to show that he’s the real top champion around here. Stephanie told them to fight like their lives depended on it because they do. She walked off so Owens picked up the mic and said they all need to get on the same page. Jericho called himself and Owens the Universal Champion and called Seth and Roman stupid idiots, but said they’re their stupid idiots. They called themselves the co-captains and said that the Shield split because Seth and Roman are terrible people. Seth and Roman attacked but Braun ended up beating everyone up. Stephanie showed back up and made a main event where the five teammates meet in a Fatal Five Way match to get this out of their systems.
They announced that the Raw tag teams competing at Survivor Series are New Day, Enzo and Cass, Gallows and Anderson, Cesaro and Sheamus and the Golden Truth.
Rich Swann and Sin Cara def. WWE Cruiserweight Champion The Brian Kendrick and Noam Dar in 7:21
Dar got a pretty great pop in his hometown for his debut. He got pyro and played the babyface even though he teamed with Kendrick. They went to a commercial break early. Returning, Swann was battling with Kendrick and hit a sweet leaping rana and rolling thunder splash. Swann pulled Kendrick into a pinning combination and won. We didn’t get to see much of this actually and what we got was only okay. They gave Dar a cool moment of debuting in his home country but barely had him do anything. **
Kendrick got a microphone and blamed Dar for the loss, saying he has no talent. He called Dar disrespectful and attacked him. Dar fought back, swept the leg and hit a running kick to send him packing. Maybe Kendrick vs. Dar vs. TJ vs. Swann at some point?
They ran a hype video to promote FANTASY WARFARE EVEN THOUGH IT HAPPENED ALREADY, Goldberg vs. Lesnar II. It was done surrounding Goldberg.
Stephanie was shown in the back when Sami Zayn came up to her. She was on the phone and invited Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan to Raw next week. Stephanie invited him to the office because she finds him irritating. He’s too enthusiastic and she is annoyed that Mick Foley made Sami the man to accept Dolph Ziggler’s Intercontinental Title challenge at Survivor Series. Stephanie thinks Rusev deserves the spot so she books Rusev vs. Sami for tonight with the winner facing Ziggler at Survivor Series.
Enzo and Cass came out and did their usual opening spiel. The rest of the teams involved in the Survivor Series match on the Raw sides followed. The crowd loved Enzo but Sheamus spoke and talked smack about Scotland. He and Cesaro bickered over who the captain was. Enzo dissed Sheamus for being pale and basically called him the Lucky Charms leprechaun. Everyone got on one another, including Cesaro on Sheamus, until Goldust asked everyone to calm down. He was quickly shot down. Finally, the real captains, New Day, showed up. They wore kilts, their faces pained like Braveheart and Xavier pretended to play the bagpipes. Sheamus and the Club nearly backed out of the team because of their captains. Big E pretty much quoted the entire big Braveheart speech, which got a huge pop. The teams all agreed to get behind New Day, even Sheamus. The Club agreed but promised to stab them all in the back if they got the chance. They called New Day jokes, New Day said they beat them a bunch of times and they meet again next. This segment was pretty fun. Lots of characters interacting can be a joy. I would have liked some R-Truth stuff though.
Non-Title Match: Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows def. WWE Raw Tag Team Champions The New Day w/ Xavier Woods in 6:40
This was joined in progress. Kofi started hot but surprisingly, it was Big E who took a bit of a beating when he was tagged in. Kofi came in hot and hit the Boom Drop. Anderson ducked Trouble in Paradise but ate a springboard cross body. New Day’s finish got cut off before Kofi and Karl had a very awkward interaction. Magic Killer on Big E ended it. Not much here. Some of it was cut off and what we got didn’t do much for me. Outside of the match at Clash of Champions, these teams have never really clicked. *¾
In the back, Goldust was excited about being on the Survivor Series big tag match. R-Truth said that they needed a vacation so he traded their spots for a timeshare in Puerto Rico. Goldust read the pamphlet and saw that the timeshare had no roof and the buffet was actually eating off of Jimmy Buffet. Goldust left to get their spots back.
They did another look at Goldberg/Lesnar, this time focusing on Brock. Brock straight up said that at WrestleMania XX, he didn’t give a shit. Next week, Brock and Goldberg will be face to face.
Backstage, Jericho and Owens went to Braun Strowman’s locker room to try and get him on their side. Owens wanted this at least, but Jericho was upset about getting thrown around by Braun earlier and nearly put him on the list. Owens sucked up but Braun said that he’s on Team Braun and left. Why would he leave his own locker room?
Another Emmalina vignette aired. I still don’t see why they’re changing something about her when she was nailing her role before the injury.
The Shining Stars def. The Golden Truth in 5:16
There was no word on whether or not this actually impacted the spots in the Survivor Series match. Early on, there were boring chants so Epico called the fans boring. The teams traded offense but the crowd couldn’t care less. Even Goldust’s hot tag got next to no pop. The Shining Stars won when Primo rolled up Goldust with his feet on the ropes. Apparently, it made the spot at Survivor Series official. *
Michael Cole was in the ring and went over the Survivor Series rules. He got booed. He introduced the women of the Raw Survivor Series team, starting with Charlotte. Charlotte spoke first, saying that she was born a leader. Nia was next and she wasn’t intimidated by Charlotte at all, saying she doesn’t work for her. Alicia Fox was third, to no reaction. Alicia cut a weak promo saying that she’ll get along with Nia for Raw’s sake. Bayley was introduced next to a huge ovation. The crowd for Bayley so much that she could barely finish her promo. The fans just kept singing to Bayley to point where Charlotte couldn’t continue. Charlotte brought out Dana Brooke as the final member but once she got to the ring, Cole said that Dana wasn’t the final member. Out came Sasha Banks to fill out the team. Charlotte said that she made Dana an alternate. Sasha gave Bayley her glasses and sang to her too. Charlotte got behind Nia and tried to get her to attack Sasha but a commercial broke it up. The Raw women’s segments are so bad. Smackdown does these way better.
Alicia Fox, Bayley and Sasha Banks def. WWE Women’s Champion Charlotte, Dana Brooke and Nia Jax in 11:33
According to Michael Cole, this was an impromptu match. Bayley and Nia started but Alicia got an early tag to rekindle their garbage feud. Nia played the dominant female, using her size to her advantage. After the commercial break, everyone got involved. Bayley beat up Charlotte, Nia squashed Alicia and Charlotte accidentally hit Nia with a big boot. Charlotte took out Sasha but got hit with a Bayley to Belly to take the loss. Fun little tag here. Everyone got some shine to help set up Survivor Series. **½
Seth Rollins was interviewed in the back but Braun Strowman interrupted. He told Seth not to worry about his future because he won’t have one after tonight. Braun never liked him and promised to snap him in half like a twig.
Winner Faces Dolph Ziggler at Survivor Series: Sami Zayn def. Rusev w/ Lana in 8:38
I love both guys but I cannot sit through Dolph/Rusev again after their lame series of matches last year. Rusev came out of the blocks hot, attacking Sami instantly. Sami made a small comeback before the commercial break. Returning, Sami connected on a sweet dive to the outside and a cross body inside. Rusev fought back and just as things were getting interesting, Sami pulled out the win with a Helluva Kick that knocked Rusev off the top. The match was just starting to get good when this ended abruptly. Remember when beating Rusev was hard? This ended up being too easy. **½
Non-Title Match: WWE Universal Champion Kevin Owens def. Braun Strowman, Chris Jericho, WWE United States Champion Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins in 15:04
The action started quickly. They did the big tease or the supposed big matchup between Reigns and Strowman. Seth pulled out a kendo stick and a table but Strowman cut off the table spot heading into the break. So many commercials. After the break, Braun got a pop for hitting Reigns with the reverse chokeslam. There were a lot of cool interactions here, including one between Braun and Owens. Reigns and Rollins worked together to try to take out Braun but Owens and Jericho broke up their Shield powerbomb attempt. However, Seth was able to powerbomb Jericho onto Owens and through a table. They got up rather quickly though and Jericho broke up a pin following a Seth Pedigree on Owens. The finish was cool as Seth hit a Pedigree on Jericho. Owens superkicked him and Reigns nailed him with the Superman punch. Owens fell onto Jericho and got the three, continuing the theme of mistrust and dysfunction between the five. Lots of fun, fast paced stuff. ***¼
Overall: 5/10. Like most pre-recorded episodes of Raw, this was highly lackluster. There were some good moments, like the main event and the opening segment, as well as the big tag team segment. The women’s promo time wasn’t good but their match was decent. The cruiserweight stuff still lacks direction and the two other tag matches sucked. Raw continued to have major problems.
