Evolve 78 Review

Evolve 78
February 24th, 2017 | MCW Arena in Joppa, Maryland

Lenny Leonard opened the show by hyping the card in the ring.

Matt Riddle def. Anthony Henry in 10:32
I saw Anthony Henry have a great match with Fred Yehi on the first Style Battle show back in January. Riddle had an nWo style shirt that said bRo. They had some standard early exchanges and it was Henry who delivered the first big shots, looking to make an impact. Riddle stopped a springboard attempt with a knee before following up with some suplexes. It was as if Riddle took him lightly but now saw he had to bring it. There was a strange moment where Henry awkwardly sent Riddle outside. At least he made up for it with a tope suicida and tope con hilo. They traded submissions inside, though n either looked very crisp. The pace quickened in the final stretch with strikes and kicks galore. Riddle fired up with a springboard knee, fisherman buster, tombstone and Bromission to win. This was a good opener, but I wanted a bit more. Henry got in a lot and it was clear they have high hopes for him. A few things didn’t come off as well as they’d hope though it was a good effort. ***¼

Riddle shook hands with Henry after the match. Riddle got the mic and said he wants to add to the title he already has. He wants the FIP and Evolve Titles. He called out Drew Galloway but got the rest of Catch Point instead. Tracy Williams tells him that it’s Fred Yehi’s night tonight. Yehi said he loves this building because it’s where he made Tony Nese tap out to win the Evolve Tag Team Titles. Chris Dickinson said he wanted the Gatekeepers right now but Larry Dallas arrived. He tries driving a wedge in Catch Point by saying if Dickinson and Jaka win their match tonight, they should get a Tag Title shot, which are titles held by Tracy Williams and Fred Yehi. Tracy said Catch Point is about competition and they’ll give them a shot but tonight is about Yehi. Dickinson has been a loose cannon of sorts so I can see him and possibly Jaka leaving the group but it’s not like Catch Point hasn’t always been about respectfully wrestling each other.

Austin Theory def. Darby Allin in 5:18
Both guys have been featured on the FIP and Style Battle shows on WWN lately. It’s the Evolve debut of Theory, while Allin has gained a bit of a following for his insane underdog role. It’s odd that he’s a heel over in FIP. Priscilla Kelly, stablemate of Allin in FIP, was at ringside. They got off to a quick start, with Allin springboarding all over and Theory trying to combat it with his power advantage. Allin hit the Coffin Drop early but Theory kicked out. Theory might’ve died on an Asai moonsault attempt where he totally overshot Allin and hit ribs first on the guardrail. He was somehow up within seconds to a standing ovation and “he’s okay” chant. After more back and forth, Allin had the Coffin Drop caught into a TKO that ended it. Allin loses nothing and stays the popular underdog, while Theory gets a win in his debut. Energetic match but nothing more. **¼

Ethan Page w/ The Gatekeepers def. Jason Kincaid in 10:36
Kincaid is a wacky dude. He stopped to meditate, annoying Ethan Page. He clearly got in Ethan’s head early and used it to gain control. Page used a sucker punch and release suplex on the apron to swing the momentum. Page took to wearing down Kincaid inside, but that thankfully didn’t last too long. Kincaid fires back, picking up a few near falls. He hit interesting variations of the stunner and X-Factor. Someone’s been watching the Attitude Era. He made the mistake of going up top one too many times and was met with a release powerbomb. The RK-Ego came next, giving Page a win. Good back and forth match with a nice twist as Page wasn’t in control. Kincaid’s different style caused problems but in the end, it wasn’t enough. **¾

Chris Dickinson and Jaka charged the ring and wanted their match with the Gatekeepers now. Ethan Page left and the match started.

Chris Dickinson and Jaka def. The Gatekeepers in 9:24
This started with a brawl in and around the ring. Things calmed down into a normal tag match in a few minutes. The Gatekeepers are ridiculously big dudes. It brown down again for a bit and Jaka was thrown into the steel steps, leaving Dickinson to get worked over. It was odd to see Dickinson take the heat since he’s a big guy himself. Dickinson survived it all and Jaka came in hot. He hit an exploder but the pin was broken up. Again though, Jaka was taken out and Dickinson ate a double chokeslam. He somehow kicked out, staying alive. He broke free of a Doomsday Device spot, leading to the Death Trap for the win, keeping them unbeaten as a team. Solid tag match as Jaka and Dickinson have been a welcome addition to the tag division. They don’t fit in Catch Point, so I’m assuming they split after a Tag Title match during Mania weekend. **¾

ACH def. Tracy Williams in 18:11
ACH has made it clear he wants an Evolve Title shot. Williams came in with a great game plan, taking ACH to the mat and not allowing him to quicken the pace. Each time it seemed like things would get faster, Tracy grounded him. Things only ramped up when Tracy wanted them to, before hitting a middle rope butterfly suplex. ACH finally got going, driving Tracy’s face into the apron and hitting a plancha. Again though, Tracy slowed it down once back inside. ACH lit up Tracy’s chest with some brutal chops. He seemed like he would try a dive but instead got down and soccer kicked Tracy from the apron. It was odd. This seemed to go on forever to be honest. ACH finally got hot late, hitting a series of lariats and a brainbuster to put Tracy away. This was a disappointment. The stuff they did was smart, with Tracy grounding ACH, but it never got me invested. It seemed to drag on, lacked urgency and never clicked how I hoped. I like both guys and hope for better performances coming up. **½

Larry Dallas was back to stir the pot but Tracy got annoyed and left.

Drew Galloway def. Jeff Cobb in 12:01
It’s a good old fashioned HOSS FIGHT! It’s the return of Galloway following suspension and injury. Galloway is used to the height advantage, but Cobb is a BIG BOY. Cobb tossed him around like a cruiserweight at points. They took things outside and brawled there for a bit. Galloway took over there and continued to control things as they moved inside the ring. He talked smack while doing so. Galloway made a mistake by coming off the top and Cobb caught him in a belly to belly suplex. Cobb got in some offense before they traded some sick sounding headbutts. Not Shibata/Ishii levels but still. Cobb continued to impress, catching Galloway in a suplex and then getting two on the swinging German. They struggled for advantage on a back slide until Galloway used the ropes to flip over and hit Future Shock for the win. There were some slow points but overall, I thought this was a good battle. Cobb looked great and the finish was creative. ***¼

Post-match, Galloway got on the mic and called out Matt Riddle. Riddle answered and they brawled until Riddle was shoved into Cobb. Cobb hit Tour of the Islands on Riddle to boos. Catch Point ran out to calm things down. Jaka and Cobb got in a shoving match while Galloway laughed outside.

Keith Lee def. Zack Sabre Jr. in 12:17
Sabre has an Evolve Title shot in 24 hours. I was instantly impressed when they went to the mat and Sabre bridged up despite Lee being on top of him. The size difference was crazy here. Sabre tried combating the power with submissions. Each time it looked like Sabre found a way to slay the beast, Lee brought something else. At one point, he got free with a nice up and over and hit a shoulder block. He continued the monster work, wearing down Sabre. He destroyed Sabre with chops. Sabre clipped the knee and hit the Penalty Kick but Lee bench pressed him off for the kickout. I always love that spot. Lee fought out of an armbar into a sitout powerbomb for two. A fan got heat for telling Sabre to “Never give up. Hustle, loyalty and respect.” Sabre listened, connecting with a series of uppercuts and strikes. He came close with the prawn hold and went for another armbar, hanging on Lee like a small branch on a giant tree. Lee countered into a big powerslam that got the three. Best match on the show so far. It was a great clash of styles and both guys looked good. It wasn’t your standard Sabre match, which was welcome. They clearly have big plans for Lee. Not sold on Sabre losing right before the title shot though. ***½

Stokely Hathaway came out to say he doesn’t care about the new guys coming in. He wasn’t happy with people saying the company is tanking because it’s all about Timothy Thatcher.

Evolve Championship: Timothy Thatcher (c) w/ Stokely Hathaway def. Evolve Tag Team Champion Fred Yehi in 19:50
Yehi made Thatcher tap out in a tag match last month. This is Evolve Champion vs. FIP Champion. Lenny Leonard hammered home how successful Yehi’s Koji Clutch has been. We got some early grapple work that progressed to striking. Yehi used his unique offense and stomps to gain an advantage for a bit. They traded chops and strikes in the center of the ring before Yehi got aggressive and drilled knee strikes into Thatcher’s head. The fans came alive when Thatcher looked helpless against Yehi’s strikes. Yehi picked up some near falls on a rolling forearm, German and powerbomb but I never felt like he had a chance. He slapped on the Koji Clutch but Thatcher made it to the ropes. They struggled for control until Thatcher hit sakatoshi. Yehi tapped out with no drama, almost instantly. The awful title reign of Thatcher continues. Like a lot of Thatcher matches, it was technically fine but lacked real drama or intrigue. I did think the final few minutes were the best parts though. ***

Catch Point got in the ring to console Fred Yehi. Jaka and Dickinson slowly handed the titles to the champs and they all did the Catch Point handshake.

Overall: 6/10. A disappointing Evolve outing for sure. Nothing on the show was outwardly bad but nothing stood out either. Most of the card felt flat and lacking something. The crowd didn’t help matters, being much less engaged than previous trips to Maryland. I enjoyed Riddle/Henry, Galloway/Cobb and Sabre/Lee the most. The rest of the card was solid, but very unspectacular.

Random Network Reviews: One Night Stand 2006

One Night Stand 2006
June 11th, 2006 | Hammerstein Ballroom in New York City, New York | Attendance: 2,460

In 2005, the WWE brought back ECW for one night as a Pay-Per-View. Due to the great reception and buyrate, the WWE saw money in ECW and decided to bring it back officially. That’s where this show comes into play. This was set to be the official relaunch of the brand. This wasn’t the ECW the fans remembered though as it now featured guys like Big Show and Kurt Angle. The main event of this show would also be contested for the WWE Title. This would be the second of four One Night Stand Pay-per-Views.

Shots of the MOLTEN hot ECW crowd opens things, just like it did the year before. The old ECW music plays and out walks Paul Heyman, who is treated like a god. Heyman cuts a promo about the return of ECW and how a new audience will learn about ECW. That actually never happened. He thanks the fans for making this happens and leaves. Joey Styles is on commentary.

Jerry Lawler vs. Tazz
Since the days of the original ECW, Jerry Lawler has ripped into the company. As he comes out, he takes a detour to slap Joey Styles. Styles follows Lawler to the ring and jumps on his back to a massive pop. Lawler shrugs him off and calls for the Piledrivers but Tazz wraps him in the Tazzmission and he taps.

Winner: Tazz in 0:36
Can’t get a real rating to something like this but it was very effective. The already hot crowd went nuts for it and considering the two guys involved at this time, it shouldn’t have been an actual match. The angle was well done. No Rating

Clips are shown from the WWE vs. ECW show earlier in the week. There was a big battle royal between the three brands that ended when Big Show threw Randy Orton out and revealed an ECW shirt. Tazz joins Joey Styles on commentary.

Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton
Like Jerry Lawler, Randy Orton is garnering all kinds of heat. Kurt Angle’s remixed theme was pretty garbage. He was quickly accepted by the ECW fans though. Tons of pro Angle and anti-Orton chants in the first few minutes as Angle takes him to school on the mat. The fans go nuts when Angle starts paint brushing the back of Orton’s head. Angle dares Orton to put him in a hold and he gets out. He does it again two more times and is amped up. Finally Orton starts getting in some offense, only for Angle to just take him down in impressive fashion. The fans chant “you can’t wrestle” at Orton just as Angle again counters him. Kurt starts bringing the higher impact offense including some German suplexes. Orton looks for his trademark backbreaker, but Angle again has a counter. He hits the Angle Slam but only gets two. Uncharacteristically, Orton goes up top and hits a high cross body like its 2002 again. Orton hits a big clothesline, but then Angle grans the leg, locks his own legs and makes Orton tap out to the Ankle Lock.

Winner: Kurt Angle in 15:07
An interesting match here. There weren’t tons of moves but that wasn’t the point. Kurt Angle was here to outclass Randy Orton and give the fans a treat, which is exactly what he did. It really solidified the “wrestling machine” character with the ECW fans and kudos to Orton for doing whatever he could to draw even more heat. ***

Just as I write that Randy Orton did everything in his power to draw more heat, he asks for three officials to help him out of the arena, making himself look like an even bigger ****.

The Full Blooded Italians w/ Big Guido vs. Super Crazy and Tajiri
These guys have had countless matches in different variations over the years. Due to that, they can work at a pretty brisk pace. Super Crazy nails the first big move with a popup facebuster. Tajiri and Guido come in, with Tajiri going for kicks and Guido applying the armbar but Tajiri reaches the ropes. He and Super Crazy do stereo tree of woe dropkick, a staple of their matches. Crazy nails an Asai moonsault onto his opponents but Big Guido gets involved to swing the momentum. The FBI now beat on him but Tajiri doesn’t wait for a hot tag and just comes in to kick the hell out of his opponents. He does end up getting a tag and does dueling tarantulas with his partner. Super Crazy oversells an innovative dropkick from Guido, leaving Tajiri all alone. This leads to a double fisherman buster for the win.

Winners: The Full Blooded Italians in 12:24
A fun little sprint here. I think it went a bit too long for what they were doing but overall, it worked relatively well. These guys have great chemistry and it helped move things along. **¾

The Big Show’s new music hits to almost no reaction. When he actually appears, he gets a bit more of a pop. Big Guido steps up to him but gets kicked in the balls. Show then beats up everyone, including Tajiri and Super Crazy. The highlight comes when he hits a cobra clutch backbreaker on Mamaluke and flings him like a rag doll.

John “Bradshaw” Layfield has a microphone and shows up on one of the balcony. He cuts a scathing promo on ECW being nothing and the WWE making guys like Rob Van Dam. He basically just announces that he is replacing Tazz on commentary for future Smackdown episodes.

World Heavyweight Championship
Rey Mysterio (c) vs. Sabu
Last year, Rey Mysterio wrestled a very WWE style and got booed for it. That causes him to get booed here, though he seems to have learned his lesson as he is wearing old ECW style gear, including an ECW logo. Sabu has a chair so Rey grabs one during his entrance. As the bell rings though, both men drop the chairs. After some short mat work, they both grab the chairs and have the equivalent of a sword fight with them. They badly telegraph a drop toe hold spot. Rey tries the 619 but fails and Sabu just launches a chair at his skull. Sabu sets up a table between the apron and the guardrail. They don’t use it yet, instead choosing to hit some high spots in the ring including a guillotine leg drop and moonsault. Somehow, Sabu’s Arabian facebuster isn’t enough. Another table is set up outside, where Rey hits the West Coast pop through it. Back inside, they bust out more high spots. Rey misses another West Coast Pop and gets crotched on an open chair before Sabu just MURDERS him with a thrown chair shot. Sabu sets Rey up on the table between the ring and guardrail. He leaps off the chair, onto the top rope and springboards off with a DDT through the table! The crowd loses their minds, but things quickly turn sour as medics come out and this ends in a no contest.

Match ends in a no contest at 9:10
I understand the finish because they booked themselves into a corner. Neither guy could really lose and you couldn’t do a DQ finish here. Even so, that kind of killed the crowd. Up until that point though, this was a so much fun. Rey Mysterio made sure to bring his “A” game for the ECW crowd and delivered. Outside of the finish, this ruled. ***¼

The buildup for the next match was pretty great and involved some absolutely stellar microphone work from Mick Foley. He comes out first and gets “you sold out” chants which he combats by saying he sold out Madison Square Garden. He knows how to draw heat, stating he respected ECW when Stephanie McMahon was the “owner”. Edge and Lita join the ring and also cut promos on the fans and their opponents. Tommy Dreamer and Terry Funk come out, accompanied by Beulah McGillicutty. Beulah runs down Lita for being a whore and it becomes a six person tag.

Edge, Lita and Mick Foley vs. Terry Funk, Tommy Dreamer and Beulah McGillicutty
They start by getting on the aprons like this is a normal six man tag. Within minutes, the four men are brawling outside and beating each other with weapons. A trash can is the early choice of weapon but Edge uses a cookie sheet. A ladder is brought in and Edge looks for a spear into it but Dreamer counters with a hip toss onto the steel. Terry Funk climbs the ladder like a madman but it gets tilted backwards. That’s a sick bump for a man of his age. The heels find a plywood board covered in barbed wire under the ring and they basically suplex it onto Dreamer. Tommy’s reaction when they pull it off of him is even worse. They go for it again but Funk trips them and it lands on them, seemingly catching Edge in the face. Foley now gets slammed backward into it, with his hair just getting caught in the wire. Edge helps them get back in control and Lita gives Foley more barbed wire, which he wraps around his arm and strikes Funk with. Funk shouts “GODDAMN, MY EYE, OH GOD” a bunch of times while blood pours down his face. It comes off looking like Funk is legit injured and he’s taken to the back. Tommy is alone to just take a beating now. Mick gets Mr. Socko because he’s all about the WWE right now. He applies the mandible claw on Beulah though Tommy stops that only to get hit again. Edge hits a spear but doesn’t want the cover and targets Beulah again with some sexually charged offense. He doesn’t get to do much tough as a WILD TERRY FUNK appears with a bandage and barbed wire 2x4. The distraction lets Dreamer hit both guys with low blows. Beulah sets the 2x4 on fire for Funk and Foley gets hit with it twice, the second time causing his back to catch fire. He’s then knocked through a barbed wire plywood board, which Edge then knocks Funk through. Inside, Dreamer applies a submission by wrapping Edge’s throat in fucking barbed wire. Lita makes the save and Beulah finally gets her hands on her. Tommy pulls Lita off when she gets the upper hand and drops her with the Spicoli Driver. He does his signature pose with his wife and Edge pulls him down with an Edge-o-Matic, made more brutal by the use of barbed wire. He then spears Beulah and pins her in the missionary position.

Winners: Edge, Lita and Mick Foley in 18:45
Well that was absolutely brutal and barbaric in the very best of ways. It was exactly what it needed to be on this card. The action almost never stopped, Lita and Beulah did their parts, the faces were resilient and the heels were despicable. A complete war. ****

Balls Mahoney vs. Masato Tanaka
At the first One Night Stand, Masato Tanaka had a pretty fantastic match against Mike Awesome. This doesn’t have the same impact that match did, nor was it supposed to. Balls gets in his trademark punches before Tanaka dives out onto him. They do some uninspired work back inside before doing into the chair sword fight. Balls absolutely destroys Tanaka with one of the sickest chair shots I’ve ever seen to win.

Winner: Balls Mahoney in 5:03
This was kind of just here as a cool down after the previous match. It looked like they put in some effort but none of what they did outside of the final chair shot really stood out. *½

Before the main event, Eugene comes out to massive heat. He plays his role well and tries to be nice to the ECW crowd, but they want nothing to do with him. The Sandman interrupts to his terrible cover theme and beats the hell out of Eugene with a cane. This wasn’t very fun.

WWE Championship
John Cena (c) vs. Rob Van Dam
This was the first of two times that the Money in the Bank as cashed in with the challenger letting the champion know ahead of time. It’s obviously been noted before but the crowd LOATHES John Cena. He throws his shirt to the crowd and they throw it back time after time in what is one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen to open a match. When the match finally starts, we get tons of negative chants towards Cena like “Cena swallows” and “you can’t wrestle.” If Cena hits a nice move, the crowd hates it, but when RVD does even the slightest offense, they go nuts. This is the first time I recall hearing the boo/yay chants for a fist fight. As the crowd chants “same old crap”, Cena dives from the top to do something different, which gets a “you still suck” chant. RVD’s first big move is a moonsault off the steel steps. He gets the upper hand after and skateboards a chair into Cena’s face. He’s in control until Cena gets his knees up on the split legged moonsault. RVD bumps for a DDT on a chair like he broke his neck. He also bumps hard for a slingshot into a chair in the corner. RVD eventually rallies and when they mess up a spot, it’s not the typical “you fucked up” chant but “Cena fucked up.” RVD can do no wrong in the eyes of the fans. He sets up a table in the corner and gets put in the STF. RVD reaches the ropes and Cena refuses to beak the hold so the referee pulls him off. Cena, heeling it up here lays out the official. Cena lays out RVD as well with a superplex and steel step shot. WWE official Nick Patrick runs out but only counts a near fall. RVD takes an Attitude Adjustment to the floor before a man in a motorcycle helmet sneaks in and spears Cena through the table. He knocks out Patrick and reveals himself to be Edge. The man that was despised earlier now gets “thank you Edge” chants. RVD enters and looks around, seeing the opening. He nails the Five Star Frog Splash. Out comes Paul Heyman to count the three for one of the loudest pops ever.

Winner and New WWE Champion: Rob Van Dam in 20:41
Really solid match made better by the incredible atmosphere in the building. This is the one instance where I truly believe the fans might have rioted if Cena retained. Speaking of Cena, he is so damn good in matches where he’s in hostile territory. He stepped his game up and played the right amount of heel throughout this. RVD did his part and it all added up to a really good match and a special moment.***¾

Rob Van Dam goes through the crowd to find his wife and celebrate. The ECW locker room empties into the ring to celebrate with him when he gets back.

Overall: 8/10; Great. While I don’t think this was better than the inaugural One Night Stand, this was still a very good show. Everything was solid outside of the Mahoney/Tanaka match. The main event is must see, even if it’s only for the atmosphere and the six person tag was a fantastic war. This show has a bit of everything, which is appreciated. My only major issue was that the Eugene and JBL segments dragged and felt out of place. Next time on “Random Network Reviews”, I take a long look at SuperBrawl VI!

Raw History: Episodes #82-84

Raw History
Episode #82
October 17th, 1994 | Memorial Auditorium in Burlington, Vermont

Was every arena called the Memorial Auditorium in 1994? Vince McMahon and Macho Man are our hosts.

Doink w/ Dink and Wink vs. Jeff Jarrett
Yes, Doink now has two little friends. Jeff Jarrett gets the advantage to start but Doink turns it around after Dink bites Jarrett’s ass. It’s funny to see Jarrett sell the butt while in a headlock. Jarrett comes back with an abdominal stretch, using the ropes for leverage. Hey, that’s the Million Dollar Corporation’s trademark dammit. Jerry Lawler’s little friends, Queasy and an unnamed second put the boots to Doink behind the referee’s back. Jarrett now work a dull heat segment for a while. Doink rallies while Dink and Wink give chase to the tiny kings outside. The referee gets distracted by this for some reason so he misses Doink hitting the Whoopee Cushion. Lawler comes out and nails him, allowing Jarrett to steal this.

Winner: Jeff Jarrett in 10:36
Well that was pretty dull. Jeff Jarrett controlling a match at this point wasn’t very good and Doink was pretty bad at this point. *¼

Jerry Lawler runs to commentary to introduce the second little man as Sleazy. There also won’t be a King’s Court tonight, so that’s a positive.

British Bulldog vs. Roy Raymond
It’s another two first name jobber. Raymond slaps Bulldog, which is a mistake. Bulldog hits a dropkick, back body drop and the stalling suplex. He continues to toss the ham and egger around before picking up the win with the running powerslam.

Winner: British Bulldog in 3:31
Fine stuff here. British Bulldog didn’t bore me and made the most of his squash opportunity.

We go back to Superstars this past weekend when Bob Backlund choked out his former manager and Hall of Famer, Arnold Skaaland. Backlund tries to stop the tape from airing but fails. The video airs and Backlund goes into rant mode. It’s not the sanest promo but I guess that’s kind of the point. The highlight of the promo is Backlund saying he’s never eaten marijuana. He threatens to put the crossface chicken wing on a fan, so Lex Luger comes out and challenges him. Backlund gets in the ring and shuffles around but officials keep them apart.

Bob Holly vs. Reno Riggins
Reno Riggins is getting up there with Barry Horowitz and Duane Gill as the most frequent jobbers. The marquee match this Sunday on Superstars is Holly against Backlund. Holly gets in about 90% of the offense in the match and he wins with a flying cross body.

Winner: Bob Holly in 2:38
The best part about this was Vince saying Holly got the “checkered flag” here.

Next week, Razor Ramon defends the Intercontinental Title against Yokozuna!

IRS w/ Ted Dibiase vs. Tim McNeany
Before the match, IRS promises to expose the biggest tax cheat in history, the Undertaker. How is he a tax cheat exactly? McNeany actually scores a near fall on a school boy. That makes IRS mad so he makes the jobber submit to the Penalty.

Winner: IRS in 1:54
Ah, yes. If I have to sit through IRS matches, please continue to keep them under two minutes.

This past week on Superstars, Paul Bearer pushed out a casket to the ring to scare the hell out of Yokozuna. Superstars needs to be on the WWE Network because I miss out on some things.

The Heavenly Bodies w/ Jim Cornette vs. Barry Horowitz and Nick Barberry
Recently, the Bodies lost to the Smoking Gunns according to Vince. Maybe that was on Superstars too. Or on the Hart Attack tour. The Bodies do their usual stuff and win.

Winners: The Heavenly Bodies in 2:30
Typical stuff.

Lex Luger issues a challenge to Bob Backlund and we’ll have to wait until next week I guess to see if he responds.

Overall: 3/10. Another ho-hum episode. The featured match wasn’t very entertaining but the squashes were either alright or short. Bob Backlund stole the show here as his promo was top notch insanity. Outside of that, this was a pretty easy skip.

Raw History
Episode #83
October 24th, 1994 | Memorial Auditorium in Burlington, Vermont

Vince McMahon and Randy Savage are our hosts.

WWF Intercontinental Championship
Razor Ramon (c) vs. Yokozuna w/ Mr. Fuji and Jim Cornette
Yokozuna attacks before the bell because that’s what pretty much all heels did at the time. Razor turns things around and uses right hands to send Yokozuna to the outside. The crowd is pretty hot for this. They actually have some decent back and forth until a leg drop leads to the dreaded nerve hold to take us to a commercial. Yokozuna has the upper hand now and pounds on Razor. He does the even more dreaded DOUBLE NERVE HOLD! How is Razor even still alive? When Razor rallies and gets close to a win, the crowd completely eats it up. Razor lays into Yokozuna as a druid rolls a casket to ringside. Yokozuna is knocked outside and backs into it. When he notices what it is, he runs away and gets counted out.

Winner via countout and Still WWF Intercontinental Champion: Razor Ramon in 9:26
Better than I expected. It stalled during the nerve hold spots but the start and the finishing stretches were both rather decent. Not very good, but as I said, I expected worse. *½

Todd Pettengil brings us our first Survivor Series Report! The first thing he takes us to is the Action Zone yesterday. After retaining his gold against Owen Hart, Bret accepted Bob Backlund’s challenge. They will meet for the belt at Survivor Series. As for the traditional Survivor Series matches, we find out that Adam Bomb, Lex Luger, Mabel and the Smoking Gunns make up “Guts n’ Glory.” They will face the Million Dollar Team of Tatanka, Bigelow, King Kong Bundy and the Heavenly Bodies.

Next week, Bob Backlund takes on Lex Luger!

The Smoking Gunns vs. Barry Hardy and Mike Bell
This match is already going when we return. That seems to happen a lot to Smoking Gunns matches. Not that I’m complaining or anything. The Gunns dominate while commentary talks about Bob Backlund. The Gunns hit a double team finish where Bart holds the jobber for Billy to top a leg drop off the top.

Winners: The Smoking Gunns in 1:56
I’ve come to love these quick squashes.

Tatanka w/ Ted Dibiase vs. Scott Taylor
Is it weird that Scott Taylor probably ended up having a better career than Tatanka? Tatanka beats on his opponent as we actually get a “Taylor” chant. You don’t see that every day for jobbers. Taylor even gets a close call on a rollup. Tatanka does end up winning with the End of the Trail. Tatanka hits another after the bell because he’s a villain.

Winner: Tatanka in 3:58
Not as bad as most Tatanka squashes. Scott Taylor made this more fun than expected.

On Superstars, IRS cut a promo on the Undertaker. It’s about death and taxes and isn’t very good.

Adam Bomb vs. Phil Apollo
Phil Apollo must be a heel because he attacks Adam Bomb at the bell. His advantage doesn’t last long as Adam Bomb takes over. He hits the pumphandle slam for the victory.

Winner: Adam Bomb in 1:46
Another quick squash. Good stuff.

Oh, a WILD BOB BACKLUND appears and puts Adam Bomb in the Crossface Chicken Wing!

King’s Court time. Jerry Lawler talks about all of the little people being brought into his feud with Doink. Doink has added a third so Lawler brings out his third, Cheesy. Cheesy joins Queasy and Sleazy. Lawler issues the expected challenge for the four of them to face the four clowns at Survivor Series. Match of the Year contender for sure.

Diesel vs. Ben Jordan
So, Ben Jordan doesn’t sound like a white guy with a mullet to me but that’s what he looks like. This is totally one-sided as Diesel hits snake eyes and his trademark stuff. He gets some cheers from the crowd but toys with his opponent as he could have ended it much sooner than he does. Jackknife finishes it.

Winner: Diesel in 3:48
Went too long for the work Diesel was doing.

Overall: 3.5/10. Slightly better than last week’s episode. I thought the Intercontinental Title match wasn’t terrible and most of the squash matches were kept short. The King’s Court still sucked hard though.

Raw History
Episode #48
October 31st, 1994 | Memorial Auditorium in Burlington, Vermont

It’s a Halloween themed episode! Macho Man and Vince McMahon are the hosts for the last time as Savage would leave the company shortly after.

Bob Backlund vs. Lex Luger
Early on, Luger not only mocks Backlund but is able to out wrestle him on the ground. That’s a shock. Backlund gets tired of that and starts to take control. He nearly applies the Crossface Chicken Wing but Luger escapes before it’s applied. They’ve done a good job of making that move seem like a threat. Backlund hits an ugly belly to belly for two. Before a commercial, Tatanka is shown lurking around the entrance. Luger starts the babyface comeback. He nails a powerslam but out comes Tatanka to distract him. Backlund locks in the submission but dumbass Tatanka enters the ring and Backlund is disqualified.

Winner via disqualification: Lex Luger in 8:19
Pretty decent showing until that stupid ending. I get that they wanted to protect both guys but Tatanka looked like a complete fool for this. *½

Bob Backlund applies the submission again even after officials pull him off. Macho Man gets up from commentary to pull Backlund off and gets in some right hands. The crowd LOVED seeing Savage get physical. After a commercial, Savage tells Vince that it’s hard to sit in the chair and do nothing. I think part of that was a shoot.

The 1-2-3 Kid vs. Tony DeVito
Yesterday, the Kid teamed with Razor Ramon to take on Shawn Michaels and Diesel for the Tag Team Titles. I’ve never been able to find the match but I hear it’s phenomenal. They do a good in playing up Kid being worn out from Action Zone, even though this was recorded a while before. It causes Kid to take a bit longer than expected to pull this one out. He hits a big leg drop for the W.

Winner: 1-2-3 Kid in 3:17
Fine stuff. I liked Kid being worn down, which was different from most squashes and works with a character like his.

Survivor Series Report time! Bob Backlund wants the WWF Title match to be a Submission match. It is announced that Undertaker will take on Yokozuna in a Casket match. Chuck fucking Norris will be the special troubleshooting referee to make sure we don’t get a repeat of the Royal Rumble. Also added, the “Bad Guys” of Razor Ramon, 1-2-3 Kid, British Bulldog and the Headshrinkers will face the “Teamsters” of Diesel, Shawn Michaels, Owen Hart, Jim Neidhart and Jeff Jarrett.

King Kong Bundy w/ Ted Dibiase vs. Bert Centeno
Vince gushes on commentary over the size of King Kong Bundy. Bundy does all of the offense and wants the five count. He gets it.

Winner: King Kong Bundy in 2:44
Man, King Kong Bundy is such a bore.

IRS is at someone’s grave and cuts a promo about how you have to pay taxes even after dying. He stumbles through it and it comes off as incredibly awkward.

Jerry Lawler is out for the King’s Court with his guests, Undertaker and Paul Bearer. Lawler asks if history will repeat itself. Bearer says that it will not and plugs the WWF magazine, which has an article about Undertaker’s greatest matches. Lawler then asks why Chuck Norris has to be at ringside if they’re confident. Bearer says that was the WWF and not them. Undertaker finishes the promo, saying that Yokozuna will rest in peace. The way he says Yokozuna makes me laugh honestly.

Next week, it’s a Hart family affair! Bret Hart teams with the British Bulldog to take on Owen Hart and Jim Neidhart

Jim Neidhart w/ Owen Hart vs. Tony Roy
Jim Neidhart attacks quickly and stays in control throughout. He just tosses Tony Roy around like he’s nothing. Owen talks trash throughout, which is a highlight. Vince makes Savage do the USA movie premiere hype like always. However, this time Savage finishes and says he isn’t doing anymore and he’s on strike. Neidhart picks up the win via camel clutch.

Winner: Jim Neidhart in 4:13
Way too long for someone like Jim Neidhart. He looked to be stalling at times.

Vince interviews Lex Luger backstage but audio sucks and we can’t hear any of it. When the audio finally works, Luger is brawling with Tatanka.

Overall: 3/10. Another episode that is kind of just there. The big matchup to open the show wasn’t very good and the rest of the show didn’t improve on it. The King’s Court wasn’t too bad tonight, which is an improvement. When the best thing on the show is a 1-2-3 Kid squash match, it’s not a good sign.

WWE Raw Review 2/20/17

WWE Raw
February 20th, 2017 | Staples Center in Los Angeles, California

The show opened with a graphic remembering George “The Animal” Steele. Nothing for Ivan Koloff.

Next, a video recap was shown of the “Festival of Friendship.” Kevin Owens opened the show sitting in the ring with a spotlight on himself. He said the spotlight is finally solely on him. Owens chose to talk about Goldberg instead of Chris Jericho. He didn’t care for Goldberg’s dominant WCW run and he doesn’t care that people think he won’t win. Owens said he just has to outlast Goldberg because the longer a Goldberg match does, the more the scale tips in his opponent’s favor. He brought up Goldberg wanting to show his son that superheroes still exist but Owens doesn’t want his title to be used as a prop. He is gonna prove that superheroes don’t exist. The fans can chant Goldberg all they want and he can bark “YOU’RE NEXT” but Owens said “YOU’RE NOTHING”. He gave no info about Jericho. This was great. Owens’ delivery was spot on and the visual of the spotlight and him in the suit were both great. Though it feels like it’s all leading to Goldberg winning in seconds.

Number One Contender’s Match: Enzo Amore and Big Cass def. Cesaro and Sheamus in 9:20
Cesaro and Sheamus started hot, kicking Enzo’s ass. Cesaro stole the show by mocking Enzo’s dance outside and when a fan said, “HOW YOU DOING?”, Cesaro picked up Enzo and said “He’s not doing too well.” After a commercial, Enzo took more of the heat. Cesaro cut off a diving hot tag attempt with a sick uppercut. This match is worth checking out just for that. Cass got the hot tag shortly after and went toe to toe with both opponents. Cass surprisingly pinned Cesaro following East River Crossing. We missed a good chunk due to commercial but what we got was fun. **¼

Enzo annoyed the losers with a promo about having “that kryptonite” so Sheamus shut him up with a fantastic Brogue Kick.

Kevin Owens went to exit the building but Mick Foley told him he couldn’t because he has a match with Sami Zayn. I hate how Raw just throws this match out every once in a while and makes it meaningless. They should have been kept apart for a long time after Battleground.

A Braun Strowman vignette aired.

A video package aired about Bayley’s Women’s Title win last year.

Mick Foley was on the phone backstage when Roman Reigns came up to him. Foley told him to wait for Fastlane to get his hands on Strowman. Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows interrupted and I guess they’re rematching that.

We were supposed to get The Brian Kendrick vs. Akira Tozawa. Tozawa had seconds thoughts about the pre-match handshake so Kendrick attacked. The bell never rang as Kendrick continued the assault. He exposed the steel part of the turnbuckle and ran Tozawa’s head into it before slapping on the Captain’s Hook.

WWE Tag Team Champions Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows def. Roman Reigns via disqualification in 3:58
Anderson and Gallows jumped Roman and held serve in the early stages. Even when Roman started a comeback, they beat him up outside. They tried bringing a chair in but Reigns fought them off and got it himself. He used the chair on Anderson, resulting in the DQ. Roman spent the next few minutes beating up the Club because the champions are scrubs compared to the BIG DOG. DUD

The New Day w/ Xavier Woods def. Jinder Mahal and Rusev w/ Lana in 3:34
New Day was announced as the hosts of WrestleMania earlier today. They argued with Rusev and Lana over stolen blueprints for ice cream. I’m not making this up. After the promo, they go to commercial and we joined this in progress. Rusev worked a bear hug on Kofi, who took the heat. Big E got the tag, gyrated and hit a big splash. After a spot outside, Woods scared Lana with the trombone and stole back the plans. Her acting on it was poor. New Day won with Midnight Hour. Nothing match but the pre-match antics were fun. *

They ran a tribute video for George Steele.

Austin Aries oversaw the official contract signing for the Jack Gallagher/Neville Cruiserweight Title match at Fastlane. Neville came out in ring gear, which I hate. He signed and went to leave instantly but Gallagher brought him back, wanting to have a chat. He had tea and biscuits after all. Neville played anti-American foreigner, saying Gallagher is a stereotype of what Americans see British people as. He said the fans laugh at Jack, not with him. Jack disagreed, saying he isn’t playing a role, that’s who he is. He said Neville thinks he’s a king and that he’s better than everyone. Neville flipped the table and shoved Jack, who took him down. Neville tried getting back in the ring but Jack stopped him with his umbrella. Good segment that managed to keep the crowd invested, which the cruiserweights struggle with.

Nia Jax def. Sarah Pierce in 0:34
Nia just ran over Sarah and threw her around the ring. A Samoan drop ended things quickly. Total squash. NR

Charly interviewed her about the “controversy” surrounding Bayley’s win last week. She said the only controversy is the fact that she hasn’t had a title shot yet. She dared Sasha and Bayley to pull last week’s antics on her.

New WWE Raw Women’s Champion Bayley came out to address Charlotte’s tweet which suggested she relinquish the title due to the events of last week. Bayley spoke about realizing her dream. She mentioned Charlotte’s tweet and said she was just trying to ruin the best week of her life. Instead of a horrible Charlotte promo, we got Stephanie McMahon. She played the “did you dream include a tainted win” route. Bayley took the title off, ready to hand it over to Steph. Sasha Banks interrupted and Stephanie shut it down quickly, saying Sasha thinks Bayley can’t do anything. Sasha considers Bayley a sister and won’t let her give up the title. Steph said Sasha only wants Bayley as champ because she knows she can beat her. Bayley admitted Stephanie was right, saying the title was important. She made it seem like she would give it up but said hell no, which Stephanie couldn’t believe. This brought out Charlotte, to make this segment even worse. She shouted a ton at the wrong times and said she would face Bayley at the PPV in a rematch. Sasha told her to shut up and challenged her tonight. Everything about this segment sucked to me. It wasn’t one of Bayley’s strongest promos, Stephanie didn’t add much, the story they’re telling isn’t what they should go with for Bayley’s first title win, Charlotte is always horrible on the stick, Sasha is still miscast as a babyface and it led to a match we’ve seen a million times.

Sasha Banks def. Charlotte in 9:59
This was joined in progress. Bayley was on commentary. Charlotte went after the knee for a bit before they went into their typical spots. Charlotte took over after Sasha missed knees in the corner and they worked through a commercial break. Returning, Charlotte applied a painful looking dragon sleeper. Sasha got free and got two on a rollup. Charlotte again avoided the corner knees but ate meteora off the apron. Dana Brooke slowly ran out because the WWE remembers her friendship with Charlotte when it’s convenient. Bayley stopped her, leading to a Bank Statement on Charlotte, who tapped. Strange booking. Charlotte loses two straight weeks on Raw with a PPV title match coming up. It’s all just gonna lead to Charlotte winning at Fastlane anyway so none of it matters. **

DDP joins Kurt Angle, the Rock n’ Roll Express and Teddy Long in the 2017 Hall of Fame class.

Charly interviewed Sami Zayn. She asked if he wanted to tell Chris Jericho “I told you so.” He stated he wasn’t happy to be right about it and compared Owens to Samoa Joe for being selfish. He promised that things with Joe are fare from over.

Non-Title Match: WWE Universal Champion Kevin Owens def. Sami Zayn in 1:11
During Sami Zayn’s entrance, Samoa Joe attacked him from behind. He shouted at Sami for talking trash backstage and threw him into the ring post. Owens gladly watched from the ring. Joe left and Sami demanded they start the match. Owens murdered him with clotheslines and the corner cannonball. He beat him up a bit more before hitting the Popup Powerbomb. Nothing to rate but it worked as an angle. NR

Backstage, Foley and Stephanie argued about Samoa Joe’s actions and Triple H’s decision to sign him. Steph threatened he could have an “accident.”

Michael Cole left backstage to hold a live interview with Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman about the horrible sounding match with Goldberg at WrestleMania. Brock scared off Cole and sat in front of the camera while Heyman cut a promo. He basically said that all this talk about Goldberg and Kevin Owens doesn’t really matter. This was strange though Heyman did a good job in putting Owens over as credible at points.

Next week, Goldberg will be in attendance and we’ll hear from Seth Rollins.

Braun Strowman def. Big Show in 12:07
Vince McMahon must be salivating in the back. They showed the ring crew “re-enforcing” the ring. Strowman did a goddamn kip up out of a wrist lock and these two literally worked the mat. They struggled for an advantage on a suplex that Show own out on. Show fired up with shoulder blocks and hit the chokeslam for two. Strowman tried a powerslam but Show flipped free and they went up top. The crowd felt the ring break superplex spot was coming but Braun fought off. He jumped off the middle rope into the KO punch but still kicked out. Braun avoided a Vader bomb and hit a horrible looking powerslam for two. He hit a better one to win right after. This was better than expected, but still didn’t need to go as long as it did. Braun survived everything Show threw at him and was simply better. Kudos to Show for his performance in getting a new monster over. ***

As soon as Braun won, Roman Reigns’ theme played. He beat up Strowman until his Spear was stopped with a dropkick. Braun hit a powerslam and left Roman out cold.

Overall: 5/10. I thought this was a middling episode. There were some good things and some bad. I enjoyed the main event and liked nearly everything they did with Kevin Owens. Most of the matches failed to deliver but angles were advanced well. The contract signing was strong, while the women’s promo was bad. I didn’t like them booking Owens/Sami and Charlotte/Sasha rematches but at least the former wasn’t a real match. I also didn’t care for the Reigns/Club stuff, but I found the opening tag pretty good. Good and bad.