Evolve 81 Review

Evolve 81
March 31st, 2017 | Orlando Downtown Recreation Complex in Orlando, Florida

After a solid outing yesterday, Evolve is back for night two of their WrestleMania weekend events.

Zack Sabre Jr. came out to start the show and wanted Michael Elgin now because Elgin slapped him after the main event last night. It’s non-title because Sabre said Elgin hasn’t earned it.

Non-Title Match: Michael Elgin vs. Evolve Champion Zack Sabre Jr.
Though Sabre was pissed at Elgin, this didn’t get off to a hot or intense start. The crowd was quieter than expected too. Sabre made the mistake of trying to get into a strike battle, which the more powerful Elgin won. Sabre resorted to kicks to even things out. Elgin took control and it took its toll on Sabre, so who got a badly busted eye. It was busted open on the PROGRESS show earlier today, so it was probably easy for it to happen again here. He survived some of Elgin’s big offense, including a super powerbomb and apron DVD. From seemingly out of nowhere, Sabre countered the Elgin Bomb into a prawn hold for the three at 16:37. This was a fine match. Unfortunately, it felt lifeless at times and neither guy seemed keen on bringing their best. [**¾]

After the match, Lio Rush came out and introduced himself to Zack Sabre Jr. He wanted their upcoming match to be for the Evolve Title. 

Drew Galloway vs. Lio Rush
This was what I expected it to be. Drew Galloway has been booked like a monster and Lio Rush is a great underdog. They played right into that. Galloway threw him around like a rag doll. From slams onto steel steps to being thrown into a ring post, Rush took a beating. His hope spots were well done too, finding small openings for moonsaults and such. Rush missed the Dragon Call and got hit with a piledriver like Riddle last night. Rush kicked out and continued to fight. Galloway wasn’t having any of it though and delivered a ridiculous spinning Future Shock! He followed with a another piledriver to win at 9:23. Good old fashioned storytelling. The monster against the resilient underdog. [***½]

Donovan Dijak vs. Keith Lee
Despite this being two big dudes, they started by showcasing their athleticism. Dijak did a cartwheel before Lee one upped him by landing on his feet on a monkey flip. He also busted out a twisting dive to the outside. They continued to one up each other when Dijak did a springboard corkscrew attack. I don’t want to do play-by-play but this was a series of two big dudes doing things they physically shouldn’t. Dijak did a GODDAMN CANADIAN DESTROYER! BIG BOYS! Dijak nailed Feast Your Eyes but it wasn’t enough. A Lee moonsault wasn’t enough so he tried a chokeslam. Dijak back flipped out and tried his own, so Lee responded by doing SAME DAMN THING! Lee finished it with the Spirit Bomb at 12:09 of pure insanity. This was fucking nuts. They had a different kind of hoss battle and I enjoyed the hell out of it. It was one of the most impressive spot fests I’ve ever witnessed and kind of a spectacle. My friends and I were going nuts. [****¼]

ACH vs. Timothy Thatcher w/ Stokely Hathaway
Stokely Hathaway cut a promo before the match but I admittedly missed it. This began with Thatcher doing what Thatcher does and taking ACH to the mat. ACH came back with some bursts of offense but nothing too sustained. Like the opener, the crowd sat on their hands. More here since that’s what Thatcher does. Thatcher delivered a kick to the face but ACH came from out of nowhere to hit a brainbuster and get the win at 9:06. I like ACH but this was the standard boring, heatless Thatcher affair. [*½]

Post-match, Hathaway checked on Thatcher. Thatcher said if he’s not in the WWN Title match, he won’t be his client anymore.

Austin Theory, Jason Kincaid and Sammy Guevara vs. Catch Point (Chris Dickinson, Jaka and Evolve Tag Team Champion Tracy Williams)
Dickinson and Jaka were the focal point of the opening portion. It was as if they were trying to prove that they’re carrying Catch Point (they aren’t). The other team brought the high flying offense, especially Guevara. Catch Point took back over and worked a rather lengthy heat segment. In a scary moment, Guevara did a shooting star press to the outside but nobody caught him. Still, Kincaid’s team rallied. While Kincaid choked Tracy out in a submission, Jaka and Dickinson won on the other side with a doomsday device chokeslam spot at 17:17. It played into the Jaka and Dickinson wanting a shot and Tracy coming up short. The dead crowd and the length didn’t do this match any favors, but most guys worked hard and this was energetic. [**¾]

Tracy again tried to avoid giving a Tag Team Title to Jaka and Chris Dickinson, but Yehi stepped in and accepted. Larry Dallas showed up again to massive heat to announce the scoop that the match will happen in Queens on April 26th I believe. Catch Point scared them off and Matt Riddle came in through the crowd for the main event.

Evolve Tag Team Champion Fred Yehi vs. Matt Riddle
This stemmed from Yehi being irritated by Riddle not always being loyal to Catch Point. Things come easy to Riddle, while Yehi had to scratch and claw to his position and earn Drew Gulak’s respect to get into the group. They traded mat work in the early stages, with neither main gaining a clear upper hand. It was Yehi who got the first advantage. Him stomping on Riddle’s feet was extra great here because Riddle wrestles barefoot. As things progressed it got more physical, with them powering up out of moves and hitting more strikes. The longer the match went, the better it got, which isn’t always the case with Riddle matches. They built to bigger moves and everything felt like it mattered. After trading some suplexes, Riddle nailed a tombstone but Yehi kicked out at one. Riddle hit a second (jumping) and it still wasn’t enough. He transitioned to the Bromission only for Yehi to counter that into the Koji Clutch. Riddle fought but couldn’t reach the ropes and passed out at 17:18. This was great. Two of my favorite guys on the indies having a great wrestling match. It felt like an important match with both guys fighting hard for the win. [****]

Anything Goes Match: Darby Allin vs. Ethan Page
This has been building for quite some time. Even going back to last year’s Mania weekend, when Page defeated Allin in short order. Half of Darby’s body was painted and the word ETHAN was written all over. Most of this match saw Page kicking Allin’s ass. He launched him into chairs with a gorilla press slam from in the ring. Page remained in control, talking shit the entire time, until Darby got an opening inside. By this point, Allin was a bloody mess. Each time Allin seemed to gain momentum, Page had an answer. He slammed him onto a ladder and threw a chair at him to stop him. Page brought the big spots, busting out a GORILLA PRESS OFF A LADDER THROUGH TABLES ON THE FLOOR! My god. Page and the Gatekeepers attempted to murder Darby but Priscilla Kelly came out. Her distraction brought out Austin Theory, who neutralized the Gatekeepers. Allin hit a Coffin Drop but nobody caught him. I swear he almost died about five times in this match. Allin won with a crazy splash off a ladder through a table at 20:07 to finish his revenge. A spectacle with some bonkers spots. They booked this the right way. Allin took a beating and came out as a star who finally overcame his bully. [***¾]

Overall: 8/10. It seems common now, but Evolve’s second show of the weekend bested their first. ACH/Thatcher was the only thing I’d consider bad. Though Sabre/Elgin disappointed, everything else clicked. The six man tag was fun and Galloway/Rush was rather great. Allin/Page was the war it needed to be, while Yehi/Riddle ruled because they’re awesome. Lee/Dijak was the show stealer and, up until the NXT Tag Team Title match, was the best thing this weekend. Easy watch.

GCW Joey Janela's Spring Break Review

GCW Joey Janela’s Spring Break
March 30th, 2017 | Orlando Live Events Center in Fern Park, Florida

I don’t know anything about Game Changer Wrestling, but this show was part of the FloSlam weekend of events and had too wacky of a card for me to pass up. I’m coming into this expecting wild fun, so I don’t expect to be too serious in this review.

The show opened with a strange video package of Joey Janela trying to raise money for a match with Marty Jannetty. He buys a teapot and licks it (not kidding) and out pops SCOTT HALL THE GENIE! Hall grants him wishes, which he uses on a match with Jannetty.

Cut to the arena, which has knockoff MONDAY NITRO THEME! 10/10 give this show all the stars already.

Kyle The Beast vs. Sami Callihan
I’ve never liked Sami Callihan and this is my first look at Kyle The Beast. They started out wild, with dive after dive before the bell even rang. The crowd was considerably hot for everything and I love how the arena was set up to have beach balls and other spring break related items around. These two brought the big spots like a powerbomb, jackhammer and air raid crash. It’s good fun. Callihan got the win with the Stretch Muffler at 9:45. This is when Sami is at his best. Short sprints of big offense. It was a good way to start the show. [***]

Post-match, Sami put Kyle The Beast over. Kyle impressed me and finding new guys is one of the best things about Mania weekend.

Allie and Braxton Sutter vs. Andy Williams and Penelope Ford
Allie came out with bunny ears and looked as adorable as ever. Andy Williams isn’t a wrestler and is part of the band Everytime I Die. He’s a big motherfucker though. Allie interrupted his entrance but was treated to “Fuck TNA” and “Fuck that owl” chants. She berated Andy until he clotheslined her to start the match. Since there are relaxed rules a GODDAMN DOOR was brought in as a weapon. Props to Sutter for taking a bump from Andy through it. Allie and Penelope handled a good share of the work. I got a chuckle out of watching Williams bump for Allie. Ford busted out some impressive athletic spots before doing an assisted moonsault off Andy to pin Sutter at 8:08. Again, most of this was fun and was not to be taken too seriously. Andy looked alright for a non-wrestler, while Allie and Ford played their roles well. [**¼]

GCW Heavyweight Championship Anything Goes Falls Count Anywhere: Matt Tremont (c) vs. Eddie Kingston
The Anything Goes stipulation was added last minute. I’ve never seen Tremont but Kingston is from my neck of the woods in New York. Still not a big fan of his though. Another door came out early but it was the tip of the iceberg. This was bloody within minutes. They fought around the arena but the camera couldn’t see most of it clearly, making for a lackluster outing. After getting back to the ring, Tremont retained with a DVD though a table at 10:42. Not exactly my cup of tea. [¾*]

Joey Janela’s Spring Break Clusterfuck: Arik Cannon vs. Bryan Idol vs. Crazy Boy vs. Dink vs. Ethan Page vs. Façade vs. Glacier vs. Invisible Man vs. Jervis Cottonbelly vs. Jimmy Lloyd vs. John Silver vs. Travis Gordon vs. Veda Scott
You can win by pinfall, submission or DEATH! Amazing. Travis Gordon and Façade kicked things off. Awesome referee Bryce Remsburg showed up to work this. Each minute, a new participant joins. Gordon did a bunch of kip-ups until John Silver joined at three. He had “I JUST HAD SEX” as his theme. The lovely Veda Scott, who I have a total crush on entered fourth. She fired off chops but ate a horrible looking superkick. Silver made up for it with a good one right after. I’m not gonna recap each entrant to be honest. Jervis got a pop though the crowd was confused at the Invisible Man entrant until it was officially announced. Shoutout to the guys who bumped for him. At some point, Veda bit her tongue and bled a fair amount. OH MY GOD, JIMMY LLOYD CAME OUT TO THE MENU THEME FROM WWF NO MERCY! The eliminated started coming shortly after this. Arik Cannon had a Steve Austin spot right before GLACIER arrived. Dink, the smartest man in the match, came in, bit Veda’s ass and literally just left. Ethan Page got a ton of heat for eliminating crowd favorite Veda. It came down to Page and Glacier. THE MORTAL KOMBAT THEME HIT AND PAGE EVEN STOOD LIKE A FIGHTER FROM THE GAME! That deserves all the stars too. Page then swiftly rolled him up to win. BUT WAIT! Jimmy Lloyd was still in. Lloyd took a beating from Page and the Gatekeepers, but kept kicking out. A miscommunication allowed Lloyd to steal it at 36:03 with a piledriver variation. If you coming into this with a serious mind, you’ll probably leave annoyed. I wanted a clusterfuck of fun in a match called a clusterfuck and they mostly delivered. Not everything hit but Veda, the Invisible Man stuff, Glacier, Dink and the Mortal Kombat stuff all got pops from me. [**½]

Keith Lee vs. Lio Rush
If there was any match I wanted to see on this card as a legit contest, it was this. Lee showed that though he’s much larger, he’s nearly as quick as Rush. Whenever Lee caught Rush, it resulted in Rush getting slammed to the mat like a ragdoll. It’s almost a perfect contrast here. It’s scary how easily Lee could destroy Rush. Lee escaped certain death up top and managed to carry Lee from there into a death valley driver! He nailed a frog splash but Lee kicked out with such aggression that Rush went FLYING! Bryce Remsburg got taken out, leading the fans to chant for Earl Hebner, who was booked for a run-in since they couldn’t afford him for a full match. He didn’t come out. Rush rallied and hit a trio of frog splashes to win at 13:57. I was surprised with the result. I don’t think Lee should be losing as often as he has, though a result on this show is no big deal. This was similar to the awesome Ricochet/Lee match from earlier in the day but on a smaller scale. [***½]

Joey Janela vs. Marty Jannetty
STILL CAN’T WALK! Look at Joey not booking himself in the main event. Marty looks like shit, though I expected that. By this point, the crowd seemed out of it. It was about 2:10 AM or so. Janela worked heat on Marty in and around the ring for a while. He hit the referee with a superkick. The crowd wanted Hebner but instead we got several other referees, who Janela all took out. Hebner finally showed up as Janela applied a Sharpshooter. He decided against a screw job and did his shoving spot with Janela before being laid out too. To top it all off, VIRGIL came out. He beat up Janela but was taken out before Marty hit a GODDAMN CANADIAN DESTROYER! Jannetty got a near fall with a Rocker Dropper on a chair before Janela won with a superkick at 12:13. All the smoke and mirrors helped this since Marty couldn’t really go, though his Canadian Destroyer was a surprise. It felt like it dragged though and wasn’t as fun as other stuff on the card. [**]

Janela got on the microphone after the bell and put over himself, Marty and the show. Marty contemplated hitting him with a chair but decided against it. Marty got on the mic after, putting over Janela and struggling through his promo.

Dan Severn vs. Matt Riddle
Severn had a bunch of guys with him carrying replicas of the titles he’s held, while Riddle had David Starr in his corner. This played out the way it needed to. They kept it short at 8:50 and focused on grappling and striking. Despite his age, Severn kept up with Riddle in those aspects, making for a good contest. He threw Germans, which Riddle no sold to my delight. Riddle got trapped in a brutal looking dragon sleeper, but elbowed out and turned it into the Bromission to secure the victory. This was very enjoyable and got the right amount of time to keep the crowd into it. [***¼]

Overall: 7/10. If we’re looking at this show from a pure wrestling standpoint, it’s not good. But, it was never meant to be that. I went in looking to have fun on a show filled with wacky stuff and that’s what I got. Some things missed the mark (Jannetty/Janela and the GCW Title match) but most matches were either straight up good (Severn/Riddle and Rush/Lee) or fun (the Allie tag and the clusterfuck). It was a nice change of pace from the rest of Mania weekend.

WrestleMania 33 Review

WWE WrestleMania 33
April 2nd, 2017 | Citrus Bowl in Orlando, Florida | Attendance: 75,245

WWE Cruiserweight Championship: Neville (c) vs. Austin Aries
Seeing Austin Aries on WrestleMania was surreal. Putting this on the pre-show was the best move. On the main show, they might’ve been restricted to five or so minutes. Instead, they got 15:37 and made it work. I appreciated that they didn’t go for the typical spotty match and used a slower start to build to something more. Aries hitting the heat seeking missile got a pop from me. Their finishing stretch was awesome and Aries even busted out the 450 splash. Neville kicking out of it didn’t bother me since Aries hasn’t established it as a finish in WWE. The finish was great with Aries digging into Aries’ old eye injury to open the door for the Red Arrow. I see I liked this more than most but it was, to me, the first great Cruiserweight Title match since the belt returned. [****]

Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal
No surprises in there this year. Only Big Show and Braun got entrances. The big surprise came when, after eliminating Big Show, Braun Strowman was eliminated by everyone. Most people, myself included, saw him winning. The other favorites like Luke Harper and Sami Zayn were also dumped out. It came down to NXT’s Killian Dane, Mojo Rawley and Jinder fucking Mahal. Mahal threw a drink at Mojo’s friend Rob Gronkowski in the front row. Rob hopped the guardrail and tackled Mojo for the WRESTLEMANIA MOMENT! Mojo eliminated Dane and Mahal and won at 14:07. I wasn’t as upset with the result as a lot of people. The match was standard battle royal fare. [*¼]

WWE Intercontinental Championship: Dean Ambrose (c) vs. Baron Corbin
People were not happy this was moved to the Kickoff Show. I don’t know if it played a part in how the match turned out but I could totally see that being the case. Both guys, especially Corbin, looked pissed. They worked a match with little to no heat, which was disappointing because their feud has been rather great. They did stuff but none of it really connected. Dean countered the End of Days into Dirty Deeds to pick up the win at 10:44. It felt like neither guy put their best foot forward. I hope something is being saved for a better match, preferably with a stipulation, at the next Smackdown PPV.[**¼]

AJ Styles vs. Shane McMahon
There’s a lot of talk about who the best wrestler in the world is. For me, there’s no question or debate. It’s AJ Styles. He proved it again on this show. AJ helped carry a non-wrestler to a great wrestling match. Not one that relied on smoke and mirrors either. The story early was that AJ was overconfident because a straight up wrestling match is his domain. Shane made him rethink things by busting out some solid grappling of his own. It never felt like Shane was better than AJ, just that AJ took him too lightly and it cost him. They advanced to strikes, where Shane seemed to get the better. We got a ref bump, but it worked here. AJ went for Shane’s coast to coast spot but Shane threw a trash can at him. He then showed that he can hit the coast to coast still. Shane, the wild man that he is, tried a goddamn shooting star press, but missed. AJ hit the Phenomenal Forearm for his first Mania win at 20:28. This was better than it had any right to be and better than both guys’ Mania matches last year. They told a great story, had lots of action and AJ bumped his ass off for Shane. My only major gripe was Shane kicking out of the Styles Clash. That should be protected. AJ Styles is the GOAT. [****¼]

WWE United States Championship: Chris Jericho (c) vs. Kevin Owens
The order of the matches on this show was weird. Chris Jericho’s entrance was a thing of beauty. He had a giant List of Jericho, brought back the countdown and had a light up scarf. The match itself delivered. Kevin Owens talked all kinds of trash in between his offense. He’s such a great bastard. They brought out some cool spots and counters. Owens turning a rana into his own Walls of Jericho was cool but Jericho topped it by countering a cannonball into one. We got another finisher kickout when Jericho survived the Popup Powerbomb. He tried again but Jericho turned it into an awesome Codebreaker. Owens broke the pin by getting ONE FINGER on the bottom rope. JUST LIKE THE PAINTING FROM THE FESTIVAL OF FRIENDSHIP! Owens hit the apron powerbomb to win the title at 16:46. A top notch match and this Mania was off to a rocking start. I loved how they knew each other so well that they had to dig deep and pull out new things. Owens resorting to the apron bomb was awesome since he only uses it when he really needs it. [***½]

WWE Raw Women’s Championship: Bayley (c) vs. Charlotte vs. Nia Jax vs. Sasha Banks
Sasha got a special entrance and was driven to the ring. She knew to avoid that ramp. Usually, I prefer an elimination stipulation since it means the winner has to truly earn it. However, I think it hurt this match. Things felt rushed at times. Nia dominated at first, so the other three teamed up and Shield powerbombed her out after about four minutes. BACK TO THE SAME THREE WOMEN RAW HAS SHOWCASED FOR MONTHS. Charlotte did her insane twisting plancha spot. Anti-climactically, Sasha was sent into the middle turnbuckle (which was supposed to be exposed judging by commentary) and eliminated. So she STILL can’t beat Charlotte on PPV. Also, why not do something with the Bayley/Sasha teases they’ve been building for weeks? Bayley and Charlotte did their standard back and forth before Bayley won with the elbow drop at 12:04. I don’t understand any of this. The match was fine enough but things didn’t make sense. Why not save Bayley’s big win for this show? Sure she showed she’s not a paper champion but that’s not enough. This could’ve been special. Also, no Sasha/Bayley stuff was lame and Bayley winning with the elbow lacked something. [**½]

WWE Raw Tag Team Championship Ladder Match: Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows (c) vs. Enzo Amore and Big Cass vs. Cesaro and Sheamus vs. The Hardy Boyz
Yes, before the match the New Day introduced the returning Hardy Boyz to a MONSTER pop. It was a great “holy shit” moment even though the rumors had been swirling for a while. I was never a huge Hardys fan but even I marked. I have to give props to commentary for to shoving “WRESTLEMANIA MOMENT” down our throats during this. I dug this match because it did what some matches on this show failed to. It didn’t go overly long and was jam-packed with action. Cesaro and Sheamus were the MVPs here for me. They beat the shit out of everyone and it was delightful. Enzo took a few bumps, Cass had some good moments and the Club were good heels throughout. Jeff, the madman that he is, pulled out a Swanton off a giant ladder like it was 2001 all over again. Matt retrieved the titles at 11:03 and the Hardys are champions again. Like I said, this was a blast with non-stop action, a great moment and it didn’t overstay its welcome. [***¾]

John Cena and Nikki Bella vs. The Miz and Maryse
Coming into this, you had to know what to expect. First, Maryse doesn’t wrestle anymore and Nikki needs time off to heal and is rumored to even possibly retire. So what we got was Miz and Cena handling the work but not trying to steal the show. Miz worked a heat on Cena and was great at talking shit to the fans and mocking Bryan. I got a chuckle out of seeing Cena give Nikki the hot tag. Nikki hit a suicide dive on Miz, who bumped wonderfully for her. The faces did stereo five knuckle shuffles and Attitude Adjustment/TKO spots to win at 9:36. This was fine for what it was, though they could’ve shaved off a few minutes from it. Then we got the moment it was all building towards, when Cena proposed to Nikki in the middle of the ring. Technically, doesn’t that validate Miz’s claims that Cena only does things for the camera? [**¼]

Non-Sanctioned Match: Seth Rollins vs. Triple H w/ Stephanie McMahon
Triple H got a weird entrance. Him as a biker with Stephanie was fine but the police escort was strange. I’ve read mixed things on this match. Some loved it and some hated it. I’m somewhere in the middle. It started hot. They hockey fought like they were Owens and Zayn, getting this off to the kind of start it needed. The crowd ate it up but I think things hit a lull in the middle. Parts of it felt like filler and you could tell they were going for this long match. I don’t see why Triple H keeps trying to work these long, methodical matches. It’s not his strong suit. He has hit at Mania before (Bryan, Taker, Benoit and HBK) but has missed a bunch too (Orton, Jericho, Sting, Brock, etc.) He worked the leg, which made sense. Seth fought through the pain because of how badly he wanted to get at Triple H but it just dragged at times. Seth’s rally was fine and the finish worked. Stephanie took a bump through a table, which was great and better than her getting speared last year. Seth did the suck it taunt to HHH and beat him with a Pedigree at 25:22. It felt every bit as long. They had good ideas but didn’t execute the way I wanted. It should’ve been more like HBK/HHH from SummerSlam 02. Play to your strengths and cut some of the tedious HHH offense. [**¾]

WWE World Championship: Bray Wyatt (c) vs. Randy Orton
This got lengthy build but I didn’t like all of it. I still say Randy should’ve been a real Wyatt and had the title come between them instead of being “undercover” the whole time. I wanted to like this but it was even worse than their shitty No Mercy match. I liked the mind games part where they kept projecting video of maggots, worms and roaches onto the ring. It was different and fit with the wacky feud. However, that was all there was to like. They didn’t mean much in the end anyway, since Orton won at 10:32 like it was nothing with an RKO. This felt rushed, they spammed finishers and had no cohesion. Also, why not keep the title on Bray? He had it just seven weeks and there was more to be done with him. Instead, it’s back to the status quo or yet another Randy reign and Bray looks like a joke again. Garbage. [½*]

WWE Universal Championship: Goldberg (c) vs. Brock Lesnar w/ Paul Heyman
I had no intentions of watching this match. I even left to the bathroom for a while once I heard it was on next. However, I was done and Goldberg was still making his entrance so I thought, “what the hell?” At first, I just thought the match was fine and kept to the right length, going just 4:45. Looking back though, if I take away my hatred for this angle and how much I don’t care to see either guy anymore, I must see this was expertly booked. They played to the strengths of both men. Brock took Goldberg to suplex city but Goldberg popped up and speared him twice. It played into Goldberg having Brock’s number no matter what Brock tried. Brock became one of, if not the only man to kick out of the Jackhammer before winning with the F5. It was explosive, told the right story and kept short and sweet. Kudos to them for that. [***]

WWE Smackdown Women’s Championship: Alexa Bliss (c) vs. Becky Lynch vs. Carmella w/ James Ellsworth vs. Mickie James vs. Naomi vs. Natalya
Naomi’s entrance in the big Mania stadium wasn’t quite as cool as I thought it would be. Somehow, both Mickie James and Becky Lynch dressed like Tatanka. The poor girls were given the death slot but props to them for trying hard. They had a lot of moving parts and not much time to get it all done. Each woman got a small moment to shine and I was particularly amused by the Alexa/Carmella interactions. There were a few sloppy moments but I can’t fully blame them because they were only given 5:32 to get a fair amount of shit in. Naomi won by making Alexa tap out. The crowd popped for the hometown girl though I don’t care for Naomi. I don’t think she’s championship material and is still painfully mediocre. Nice moment though. One thing I don’t like is how they made Alexa her bitch. Naomi beat her in several tags leading up to Elimination Chamber, beat her there and again here. Alexa never even got the best of her once. Anyway, this was fine energy and they worked hard. [**½]

Roman Reigns vs. The Undertaker
Jim Ross joined commentary for this. They added a No Holds Barred stipulation at the last minute. Undertaker’s entrance went nearly as long as Brock/Goldberg AND he started at the middle of the ramp. At first, I thought Undertaker looked great. He dumped Reigns outside, said “It’s still my yard,” and moved well. Within minutes though, he looked sluggish. It got bad after he took a huge spear through an announce table spot. They made a mess of a Tombstone spot inside and things fell apart afterwards. I know it was the main event, but booking the Undertaker to work a 22:56 match at his age and condition was a bad move. The longer this went, the more it looked like Undertaker couldn’t handle this. Not in a “the younger guy is beating me” sort of way but in a “I should’ve retired a while back” kind of way. Not saying he should’ve, but that’s how he looked. Taker kicked out of multiple spears and refused to quite until a fourth one kept his down. They did the big passing of the torch to Roman but like his match with Triple H last year, it went too long and wasn’t good. [*½]

Though it was a shame to see Undertaker end his career in such a lame match, what came next was perfect He put his hate and coat back on and the lights went purple while his theme played. He removed his gloves, coat and hat, neatly placing them in the center of the ring. He left, kissed Michelle McCool in the front row and posed halfway up the ramp. The mechanism he used to rise in the middle of the stage lowered him under it and the lights completely went out to the sound of gongs. Hours after the show, his gloves, coat and hat remained untouched in the ring.

Overall: 7/10. This is a hard WrestleMania to rank. If we’re judging it purely on the undercard, it’s an all-time great. Styles/Shane opened with the clear MOTN, while the Cruiserweight Title, United States Title and Raw Tag Team Titles were all great matches. Though I largely prefer Smackdown to Raw, it was the Raw brand who came up better. They had about equal women’s matches, but their midcard and top title matches were much better. They also had Tag Team Title match, which was a blast. The show had several memorable moments (the Hardys, Cena proposing, Taker’s last moments) too. However, seven hours is so damn long. It suffered from a similar issue to last year’s show and that’s how it ended. Last year we got the battle royal, the awful Rock segment and an overly long main event on an overly long show. Here, after the Tag Title match, the quality dipped. Seth/HHH disappointed, Bray/Orton was a stinker and Reigns/Taker was hard to watch. If the last section of the show was better, it would be in the argument for one of the better Manias ever. Instead, it was a good but not great show.

WrestleMania 33 Predictions

It's kind of telling of the WWE when they have over ten matches on the card yet still can't find a proper place for guys like Sami Zayn and Braun Strowman. They feel like the only two potential winners to be honest, though Samoa Joe and Luke Harper would be good choices if they officially get added. I'll go with Braun but Sami will come close.

Winner: Braun Strowman

Of all the matches on the card, only about four interest me. This is one of them. Despite the CWC being a success, nobody from the tournament is featured in the WrestleMania Cruiserweight Title match. That's a good thing though because most of them have flopped. Austin Aries and Neville feel like the two biggest stars of the division. They might not get ten minutes but if they do, they have potential to steal the entire show. It is the best Cruiserweight Title match so far on paper and has the best chance of being the first great one since it returned. The title switches often, so I'm going with Aries.

Winner: Austin Aries

I'm not a big fan of a clusterfuck match for the Smackdown women but if it stays as a Six Pack Challenge, it should be good. If they go the rumored route and add Emma, Summer Rae or (the awful) Kelly Kelly, it will be bad. I think most of these women deserve a spot at Mania. If I was booking, I'd probably put the title on Carmella or even back to Becky in a feel good moment. However, they seem hellbent on a Naomi title run, so I'll predict that.

Winner: Naomi

I'm so happy we're finally getting an Intercontinental Title singles match at WrestleMania. I'm also happy Baron Corbin gets Mania shine and Dean Ambrose gets a real singles match unlike last year when Brock Lesnar gave him no effort. This feud has been great but I wish we got a no DQ match or something like that. Part of me thinks Corbin should win but I think Ambrose retains. Then Baron takes the title from him in a specialty match at Backlash.

Winner: Dean Ambrose

Making this a ladder match gives me SOME hope for it. The Raw Tag Title scene has been kind of a mess like the Raw Women's Title picture. Gallows and Anderson feel like jokes, Cesaro and Sheamus got a short run and Enzo and Cass have been all over the place. Still, making this a ladder match means it should be, at the very least, fun. I think the Club leave with the titles before a feud with the returning Hardys.

Winners: Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson

I wanted so much more for The Miz at WrestleMania. Since last year's show, Miz has been one of the company's MVPs. John Cena has delivered when around too, so I didn't love the idea of this mixed tag. Kudos to them though for making the buildup intriguing and full of entertaining promos. This is one of the easiest matches to predict. There's no way Cena and Nikki don't win. The real prediction is whether or not Cena proposes after the match. I say he does and Nikki possibly retires.

Winners: John Cena and Nikki Bella

A year or two ago, if someone told me I wouldn't give a shit about a WrestleMania match involving Sasha Banks and Bayley, I would've thought you were on drugs. Leave it to Raw though to completely fumble this. Babyface Sasha Banks has been a mistake and Charlotte has been totally boring but Bayley is the real issue. Her story is so easy to tell but instead of doing it, they gave her a title win on Raw (which we'd seen with Sasha already) and then spent the next few weeks having her lose and get called a paper champion. The right thing to do would be to have her win and solidify that she's not a paper champion. Nia winning would be okay with me. However, even though she lost last month and it doesn't make sense for her to win, I don't bet against Charlotte. I expect more painfully awful stuff from her.

Winner: Bayley

Similar to the IC Title match, I'm happy we're getting a legitimate match for this title. Not just that, but it has actual build and should be the culmination of a long story. That's all I ask for going into Mania. Chris Jericho's odd at Mania because, for as great as he is, he's mostly had good but not great (except HBK at WM XIX) matches there. The ones with Christian, Triple H, AJ Styles, etc. all cap out at good to me. He loves Kevin Owens though, so I think he'll bring his A game. Owens should win this one.

Winner: Kevin Owens

Like many others, I wanted something more for AJ Styles. Personally, I'd have saved Styles/Cena III for WrestleMania. My main concern is that Shane McMahon is at his best when he's working a crazy match and does a big spot. With this being a traditional match, I can't see Shane getting to shine. One thing helps him. He'll be in there with the best wrestler in the world. If anyone can help Shane McMahon to a good traditional contest, it's AJ Styles. Also, he needs to win.

Winner: AJ Styles

I've been kind of over the Undertaker for a while. Especially once the streak ended. This match doesn't intrigue me at all. I don't know what their plan is. If they want Undertaker to pass the torch, they better be ready for Reigns to celebrate to a ton of heat. I'd have Undertaker win, since Reigns won't be hurt by it and if they want to turn him heel or something, have him kick Undertaker in the dick or something. Either way, like Charlotte, I never bet against the Big Dog.

Winner: Big Dog Gotta Eat

This had potential to be the best built match on the show but Seth Rollins' injury hurt things. Also, having it drawn out since August with little to no traction and Triple H never explaining why he gave up on Seth (who had only lost to Dean Ambrose and Finn Balor up to that point) means it doesn't have the juice it should. If Seth is healthy, the non-sanctioned aspect could make this the best match on the card. It's Triple H, who seems to go over on odd number Manias when he shouldn't (see Sting at 31, Lesnar at 29, Orton at 25, Booker at 19), so he could win but I believe Seth takes it.

Winner: Seth Rollins

I really wish they never went the "I was never truly in the Wyatt Family" route with Randy Orton. It was, hands down, the most interesting he's been in ages. They should've just had the WWE Title come between them. A torn Orton who wants to remain loyal but also wants the title would've made for excellent television. Anyway, Bray should retain and continue to be solidified now that he has the title. This is the WWE though. I see Orton winning and Bray falling back into his role of doing lots of nothing until stepping up to job to a bigger star.

Winner: Randy Orton

Fuck this. I'm not watching this match.

Winner: Brock Lesnar but I don't care

2017 Prediction Record: 12-11
2016 Prediction Record: 65-37

NXT TakeOver: Orlando Predictions

This is rather tough to call because it could really go either way. SAnitY could win to keep their momentum, but they've won most of their matches thus far and it could be time for the faces to overcome. I like the addition of Ruby Riot. She was very good on the indies and a feud with Nikki Cross could be great. I think the faces take it here but this feud will not end here, even if Tye Dillinger gets called up.

Winners: Tye Dillinger, No Way Jose, Roderick Strong and Ruby Riot

I like Aleister Black. I dug him as Tommy End and he was cool when I saw him at NXT Cleveland a few weeks back. However, Andrade Almas JUST started being awesome. He needed the heel turn and lifting some of his old Los Ingobernables antics has greatly helped. Unfortunately, he looks like he's going to take the old Tyler Breeze route of being used to put over new guys. Breeze did it for Itami, Balor and Crews. Almas has done it for Roode, Strong and now Black.

Winner: Aleister Black

This should be the best match on the card by quite some margin. The Revival are, hands down, the best tag team on the planet. DIY is probably second and the Authors of Pain have shown that with the right opponents, they can deliver. I'm not sure how the elimination stipulation will impact the match but regardless, it should rule. I don't think DIY get the titles back and I can only assume the Revival are getting called up soon. Or at least they should. A win for the Authors over the top two teams of the past six months in NXT would be big for them.

Winners: Authors of Pain

Considering Asuka debuted in October 2015 and is undefeated since, while also coming up on about a year as champion, you'd think this would be the opportune time to have her drop the title. Unfortunately, NXT hasn't developed anyone enough to even feel like they're in Asuka's league. Ember Moon is good, don't get me wrong, but I have no reason to care about her. She's just the girl with cool eyes. Personally, I'd have booked Niki Cross against Asuka here. If not, I'd have Asuka retain. I'm not booking though. I say Ember wins so she can get a huge moment under her belt but I don't think it'll be enough to make her stand out.

Winner: Ember Moon

The NXT Title picture just bores me. It has since the Owens/Balor rivalry in 2015. Balor/Joe, Joe/Nakamura and Nakamura/Roode have underwhelmed. Actually, Nakamura has underwhelmed since the Sami Zayn match. Still, I think the outcome here should be clear. Bobby Roode is a fun champion and Nakamura shouldn't be in NXT anymore. Have Roode retain and Nakamura debut the night after WrestleMania.

Winner: Bobby Roode

Evolve 80 Review

Evolve 80
March 30th, 2017 | Orlando Downtown Recreation Complex in Orlando, Florida

WrestleMania weekend officially kicks off with Evolve 80! Quick note, the venue looked awesome and was one of the best Evolve has ever run in.

To start the show, Drew Galloway was in the ring and steals the microphone from Lenny Leonard. He only trusted himself to set the tone for this big event. He put over the company and called this Wrestling Week, not WrestleMania Week. He called out Matt Riddle for their match.

Drew Galloway vs. Matt Riddle
Galloway opened things with a headbutt and they went to war from there. Riddle brought strikes, but Galloway overpowered him. He hit an impressive slam on the apron but also took a Bro to Sleep outside. A table was brought into play and Galloway delivered a piledriver off the apron through it. That felt like the end but Galloway wasn’t done. He put an exclamation point with the Future Shock inside and ANOTHER piledriver to end it at 7:15. That was shorter than I expected, but it worked for what they were going for. Galloway looks like a BEAST going into the WWN Title match this weekend. This was intense and I dug it. [***¼]

Drew Galloway looked to continue the assault but Chris Dickinson and Jaka ran out for the save.

Chris Dickinson vs. Timothy Thatcher w/ Stokely Hathaway
Timothy Thatcher goes from almost two years as Evolve Champion to the second match. His performances in the past year fit the card placement. I’m also not big on Dickinson, so my hopes weren’t high coming into this. They worked the mat early, with Dickinson, as always, playing the aggressor. It was typical Thatcher stuff. Outside of the Zack Sabre Jr. match last month, he’s had almost non-stop dull, lifeless matches. The highlight was probably Dickinson curb stomping him. In the end, Thatcher fought off a powerbomb, hit a kick and won with a submission at 9:16. Like I said, nothing special and rather lifeless. [**¼]

Jaka vs. Jason Kincaid vs. Lio Rush
This was scheduled to be a singles match, but it was announced that Lio Rush didn’t want to wait until scheduled return tomorrow and it was made into a three way. Rush and Kincaid had a fun exchange early until Jaka showed the power and ran him over. Jaka kept dumping Rush out of the ring. I’m not a fan of the tired trope where one guy gets thrown out to make these matches a series of one on one encounters. When all three were involved, the match was at its best. Rush nearly killed Kincaid with a kick and a reverse rana. Kincaid did a dangerous double super rana that nearly saw Rush and Jaka land on each other. Rush got the win with the Dragon’s Call, which looked great at 9:06. I was worried that turning it into an impromptu three way would cause issues. Instead, it made things better than I expected since Rush was the highlight here and was mostly used well. It was high energy, moved briskly and was entertaining. [***]

Façade and Michael Richard Blaze w/ Dani vs. The Gatekeepers w/ Ethan Page
I’ve never heard of Façade and MRB. I was genuinely confused when they came out. One looked like a shitty FCW era Seth Rollins cosplayer. The Gatekeepers did exactly what they needed to and squashed these geeks in 2:03. They needed that after some recent losses. [NR]

Ethan Page got on the microphone, saying this show is part of the “era of ego.” He demanded to be part of the Evolve Title match but since nobody gave him a shot, he called out his opponent for the night.

Austin Theory vs. Ethan Page w/ The Gatekeepers
Austin Theory is just 19 and one of the guys to be featured on several WWN shows this year. He seemed to tweak his knee early but was mostly fine. Page took the time to wear down Theory, grounding the youngster. Most of it was dull. Page hit the RKO-Ego but Theory surprisingly kicked out. I think that could’ve been a bigger deal but it fell flat. Theory ate a series of kicks and Page won with a uranage. This was just bland. It worked as an extended squash at 7:17 but I would’ve liked Theory to get in a few more hope spots to get the crowd more invested. [*]

More promo time from Ethan Page as he berated Theory on his way out. After Theory exited the ring, Priscilla Kelly strolled to the ring. She got in Page’s face before the cameras caught a bunch of people in bloodied scrubs bringing a body bag to the ring. They had their faces painted too. They lifted the body bag but Page and the Gatekeepers attacked them before they opened it. The Gatekeepers slammed the body bag down without even opening before launching it into the rest of the guys outside. He was brought back in and the bag was opened to reveal Darby Allin. He awoke and took out the Gatekeepers with a pipe. Page scurried during this and Allin challenged him to a match tomorrow. It’ll be an anything goes match apparently. That was a strange segment that dragged on too long so the crowd was dead for some of it. I loved seeing Priscilla Kelly though.

Keith Lee vs. Ricochet
This was part of Keith Lee’s “Trial Series.” It should make for an interesting clash of styles. Ricochet’s early grapple attempts were fun. He turned to try his athleticism but Lee showed off his skill in that department with a great dropkick. Ricochet was game for this and bumped like an absolute madman for Lee. He finally got an opening after snapping off a big rana and nailing a dive to the outside. Lee survived some of Ricochet’s best shots. Ricochet then impressed everyone with a reverse rana and Benadryller. It wasn’t the best Benadryller but just picking up Lee was huge. Lee survived a series of kicks and avoided the SSP. After a series of strikes, Lee hit an awesome sitout powerbomb but Ricochet got the shoulder up. Lee went for the moonsault that broke the ring in San Antonio but missed. Ricochet hit a springboard 450 for two and then the SSP. Lee kicked out so hard he launched Ricochet into the turnbuckle. Ricochet hit another but Lee grabbed him by the throat, so Ricochet had to fight him off. Kicks after kick and Lee barely got down. Finally, a 630 got Ricochet the win at 17:13. That was the best Lee match thus far. I was surprised he lost but he looked awesome in defeat. Ricochet threw everything he had at Lee, over and over, and it was still barely enough. Ricochet bumped like crazy for him though I’d still have preferred a Lee win. [****]

Evolve Tag Team Championship: Fred Yehi and Tracy Williams (c) vs. Donovan Dijak and Michael Elgin
Williams and Elgin started, with Williams having an advantage in the technical aspect. Yehi and Dijak had some good exchanges, like Yehi stomping on his feet and Dijak tossing him like a rag doll. The champs showed off some solid tandem offense. Dijak impressed with his fosbury flop. He’s a big dude and does it rather well. Williams got worked over the challengers. Yehi got the hot tag and was his awesome self. Tracy seemed to have issues with the size of his opponents. He survived a moonsault from Dijak and then delivered a sick dragon screw into an ankle lock. I thought Dijak’s leg was broken. The challengers came back with a series of big offensive moves on both champs. Williams somehow kicked out of a middle rope powerbomb and one of Dijak’s best moves. Yehi, like a wild man, hit Elgin with a damn Canadian Destroyer! They hit a double powerbomb on Dijak that he kicked out of, so Tracy transitioned to a crossface. Dijak fought to his feet only for Yehi to dropkick his knees. Dijak tapped at 18:25. Like most title matches since Yehi & Williams won the titles, this was good but not quite great. They did a good job of making fans believe Elgin and Dijak could win despite not being Evolve regulars. The champs fought from behind, using their smarts and technical acumen to overcome their size disadvantage. [***½]

Larry Dallas showed up to stir more shit. He claimed Yehi and Williams allowed Riddle to get hurt ahead of the WWN Title match on Saturday. Yehi said he hoped Riddle wasn’t hurt and looks forward to their match tomorrow. They sent Dallas packing, before Chris Dickinson and Jaka wanted to know where their title match was. Tracy wants them to focus on the matches signed for this weekend.

Evolve Championship: Zack Sabre Jr. (c) vs. ACH
Zack Sabre Jr. only brought out one of his titles. ACH startled him in the beginning with a soccer kick. Sabre retaliated with a kick of his own to the hand, looking to set up later submissions. He took the time to bend and twist ACH in awkward ways. ACH sold it well and Sabre continued to go after it. Sabre’s best matches are the ones where he doesn’t just do submissions for the sake of it, but here they made sense and focused on something. He caught an ACH dive into a submission but was too close to the ropes. ACH rallied by escaping a corner submission. He got close on a pinning combination and a bridging German suplex. Someone started a “USA” chant so the rest of the crowd booed him. ACH went into a flurry of offense only for his 450 splash to be caught in a triangle choke! He transitioned to another submission at 15:16 to make ACH submit. This was really good but lacked things to take it to the next level. I feel like ACH brought it but I wish Sabre sold some of his stuff better. Still, this was a worthy main event with some great moments. [***½]

Overall: 7/10. I’d say this was solid outing from Evolve. There were some things that missed the mark (Page/Theory, Thatcher/Dickinson, the Allin segment) but most of the show featured good matches. Riddle/Galloway is an intense sprint, the two title matches are both very good, the three way is fun and Ricochet/Lee was awesome. Consider that the first must-see match from the weekend.