Random Network Reviews: Backlash 1999

Backlash 1999
April 25th, 1999 – Providence Civic Center in Providence, Rhode Island – Attendance: 10,939

During the Attitude Era, the WWF produced must see television every single week. However, the WrestleManias from that era left a lot to be desired. Take WrestleMania XV for example. The only thing fondly remembered is Austin/Rock, so the WWF decided to give it to us again as the main event the following month. I don’t remember much about the rest of the show, but the WWF was in its peak year from a profitability standpoint I believe so hopefully it’s damn good.

Overdramatic is the word for the opening video package. Don’t get me wrong, Austin/Rock is huge but the way it’s presented, you would think it’s the biggest match ever. Commentary tonight is, as always during this time, Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler. They inform us that the main event is now No Holds Barred and if Austin hits Shane McMahon, he will lose the title.

Six Man Tag Team Match
The Brood vs. The Acolytes and Mideon
This stems from Christian giving up the whereabouts of Stephanie McMahon to Ken Shamrock while in the Ankle Lock, so The Undertaker wanted to sacrifice him. Edge and Gangrel wanted none of that and attacked, breaking away from the group. Mideon and Christian start but it moves to Bradshaw beating the stuffing out of Gangrel for a bit. Edge comes in and they nail a double suplex. Faarooq gets the tag and hits a stiff spinebuster on Edge. Mideon actually hits a really good looking vertical suplex which surprises me. Teddy Long is the referee here and must be rock hard because this is a six man tag match PLAYA. A “Mideon Sucks” chant breaks out, because I guess the crowd thinks the Acolytes are at least okay. Edge continues to play the face in peril until he hits a Spear from the second rope and he hot tags Christian. He comes in hot and hits Poetry in Motion type moves before getting a near fall with a tornado DDT. Bradshaw connects with a vicious powerbomb but Gangrel makes the save. Edge hits a missile dropkick for two and Christian leaps onto Faarooq. He’s caught but Edge baseball slides into them. Viscera arrives and squishes Christian, which allowed a Clothesline from Hell to end this.

Winners: The Acolytes and Mideon in 11:38
Decent tag match. Edge was the face in trouble and the heels were their powerful selves as everyone played their roles correctly. Christian being the one to get the hot tag was great but the wrong team went over. **1/2

WWF Hardcore Championship
Hardcore Holly (c) vs. Al Snow
Just before the bell, these two already go at it and Hardcore Holly gets taken outside. Weapons quickly come into play when Holly gets a gallon of water and hits Snow with it. Somehow, even before the jug, Snow is busted open. They spill into the crowd for a bit before bringing it back to ringside. Snow gets a hockey stick, which is in this arena for no reason since there is no Rhode Island hockey team. Maybe AHL or something. Snow goes to set up the CHEAPEST looking table but Holly strikes him with the hockey stick instead. They go up the aisle where Holly hits a suplex for two. As they get backstage, Holly actually tries to use the kitchen sink but gest sprayed with water. We CLEARLY see Faarooq and Sgt. Slaughter watching in the back so there goes the Ministry illusion. The match moves to the parking lot and they just keep beating each other with various weapons. They actually fight into a dumpster full of trash and Holly gets the dirtiest near fall of all time. We go to the production truck and Snow gets a near fall after an elbow onto a car. Slowly, but surely we are moving back towards the ring. Snow places Holly on the cheap table but wastes time and is hit with a frying pan. Holly nails a superplex through the cheap table but both guys are down so no pin. Snow gets head and knocks out Holly with it to earn the three.

Winner and New WWF Hardcore Champion: Al Snow in 15:35
Serious points for creativity. It’s easy to stay entertained when they’re moving around and going to fun, new places. There wasn’t much for psychology but that isn’t needed here. This was fun and that’s all a Hardcore Title match should be. ***

The Ministry are backstage and The Undertaker is talking in circles about the Higher Power. I guess Faarooq was pulled away from the end of that match for this. I’m sure he’s very upset.

WWF Intercontinental Championship
The Godfather (c) vs. Goldust w/ The Blue Meanie
Man, the Blue Meanie is a weird dude. He parodies Sable’s catchphrase and grind before the match. “PUT THE WOMEN AND CHILDREN TO BED”. Classic JR. After some basic Godfather antics, Goldust hits him with some shots but gets sent outside. It continues to amaze how much better Goldust looks 15 years later. Meanie trips up Godfather, allowing Goldust to capitalize. Trademark Goldust throat thrust is followed by Meanie giving him a bad of powder. Godfather counters and blinds him. Goldust hits Meanie, thinking it was his opponent. He sets him up for the Shattered Dreams and I’m pretty sure he would’ve been able to tell the difference in body type, not to mention Meanie screaming. He hits it and then gets kicked by Godfather. He then gives Meanie and Goldie rides on the Ho Train and ends it with the Pimp Drop.

Winner and Still WWF Intercontinental Champion: The Godfather in 5:12
This sucked. Neither guy, nor Meanie for that matter, really put in much effort. Pure shenanigans and not in a good way. *

Al Snow gets interviewed backstage with Head. It’s weird.

Number One Contender’s Match
Jeff Jarrett and Owen Hart w/ Debra vs. The New Age Outlaws
Good lord, Debra is basically wearing nothing. She was always super overrated looks wise, but sheesh. Road Dogg tries to get Debra to show the puppies so Owen Hart and Jeff Jarrett attack. Billy wins the back and forth with Owen and promptly motions for Owen to “suck it”. Dogg comes in and Owen shows of his athleticism before tagging Jarrett. The future “Chosen One” struts and does the crotch chop before eating some juke and jive from that D-O-DOUBLE G. Owen blind tags in but Dogg confuses them and makes them run into each other. The Outlaws were good for antics like that. Owen is tired of that and nails the enziguri THAT KILLED HBK for two. The heels work over Dogg for a bit although he gets a backslide behind the referee’s back. Owen connects with another pretty spinning heel kick that, I swear, got a three because Billy Gunn was too late to break the count. We get Vince Russo’s favorite spot, the sleeper with the arm drops and Road Dogg rallies before his arm falls a third time. We end up with Russo’s second favorite spot when they both go down to double clotheslines. Gunn gets the hot tag and hits a big powerslam on Jarrett. Dueling ten corner punches from the faces work until Debra uses her distractions to distract Road Dogg. He recovers and hits the Pump Handle Slam on Owen but Jarrett breaks the pin. Owen slaps on the Sharpshooter and Jarrett goes for the Figure Four but Billy kicks him off. He then breaks the Sharpshooter with a Fameasser and wins.

Winners: The New Age Outlaws in 10:27
I’ve never been the biggest New Age Outlaws fan but that was an enjoyable match. I really like the team of Jeff Jarrett and Owen Hart and this just clicked. ***1/4

After the match, Billy Gunn pulls down his pants and shows the fans his ass. Man, I hated the Mr. Ass character. Side note, this would be the final Pay-Per-View match of Owen Hart’s career.

Michael Cole, looking like he hasn’t hit puberty yet, interviews Shane McMahon. Shane gives his word that he will count 1-2-3 if Austin is able to pin Rock’s shoulders to the mat. He also continues to disown his dad, calling him Vince. WWF’s resident hermaphrodite, Kevin Kelly, now interviews Vince and Stephanie. It’s strange to see how innocent Stephanie could be here before she would turn into an AMAZING heel.

Boiler Room Brawl
Big Show vs. Mankind
This is a rematch from a forgetful bout at WrestleMania XV. Both guys are faces, making this odd. Show searches for Mankind and is hit with a SNEAK ATTACK! They continue to brawl by hitting each other with tables, sheetrock and everything they could find. In a precursor to Jackass, Show sits Mankind in a shopping cart and runs him into a wall. A shot of Teddy Long is shown as he’s standing outside of the boiler room, ready to call a winner. Show heads in that direction but Mankind breaks glass over his head! HES HARDCORE! HES HARDCORE! Mankind goes to climb a ladder but is Chokeslammed off of it through two tales and glass. His arm is cut, as is Show’s head. Mankind has to be in the top five of guys who take the best beatings and he’s is taking one now. He hits a pipe that bursts and “steam” hits Show in the eyes. Lawler corrects Ross that it is not steam and Mankind goes low with a pipe. He then throws Show into a table that causes a bunch of pipes to fall and bury him. Mankind crawls to the exit, with his blood making handprints all over, earning the win.

Winner: Mankind in 7:50
While shorter than I expected, another fun brawl. Similar to the Hardcore Title match, but still different. Both guys worked hard and took bumps. ***1/4

Mankind’s celebration is cut short when he is attacked by Big Bossman and Test. Big Show rises from the dead like its Halloween Havoc ’95 and helps Mankind take out the Corporation members. Adolescent Michael Cole interviews Triple H and Chyna about the upcoming match with X-Pac. There’s something about them being Eskimo Brothers mentioned, or maybe not.

The WWE Network has the extended DVD version which is awesome. We see Big Show getting stitched up and then Mankind saying “I don’t want to wrestle Big Show anymore. I got kids.”

Triple H w/ Chyna vs. X-Pac
Triple H is sporting some of that good old generic heel music. The stuff you get when you first turn and they have nothing permanent for you yet. A fist fight opens things because THIS IS PERSONAL! Triple H totally launches X-Pac outside and he lands hard. Chyna goes to strike but X-Pac sees it coming and stops it. Back inside, he gets a near fall with a spinning heel kick before using his educated feet to an advantage. He goes for the Bronco Buster so Chyna distracts him and X-Pac signals for her to “suck it”. FORESHADOWING! He misses the move and seems to hurt his neck so HHH goes right for it. Because of this, the match slows to a crawl. This is a nice look into the “Cerebral Assassin” role that Triple H would play very well for the next few years. X-Pac tries to rally but Trips hits the facebuster and tosses him outside so Chyna can gorilla press him. Pac gets a near fall with a small package so Triple H takes him down with a clothesline. Commentary is doing a great job telling the story of HHH’s plan to go after the neck and how resilient X-Pac is. I understand the psychology but HHH might be using too many rest holds. Again, X-Pac tries to get on the offensive but eats a back suplex. Some heel kicks allow X-Pack to gain some momentum. Chyna gets on the apron to distract the referee and X-Pac counters a Pedigree with a headbutt to the groin. That distraction came at a bad time and had the reverse effect. HHH knocks X-Pac outside and we get a ref bump. Inside, X-Pac hits the X-Factor and Chyna enters to give him a low blow and reverse DDT. She’s done more moves in this match than I saw in the entire IC Title match. She puts Triple H over X-Pac when the lights go out and Kane comes out. THAT’S GOTTA BE…THAT’S GOTTA BE KANE! Chyna doesn’t back down but Triple H saves her, only to get a Chokeslam. Chokeslam to Chyna as well and the crowd is on fire now. The referee and X-Pac get up at the same time and its Bronco Buster time for both HHH and Chyna! Triple H gets up and plants X-Pac with the Pedigree to put this one in the bag.

Winner: Triple H in 19:19
The psychology of the match was great but it was boring at points. I had high hopes for this and while it didn’t quite deliver, it was still pretty good. ***1/4

Ken Shamrock vs. The Undertaker w/ Paul Bearer
Ken Shamrock was so ahead of his time, it’s crazy. If he would have come along when MMA was at the height of its popularity, he could have been huge. Undertaker starts on the offensive and hits Old School early on. Shamrock leaps into Undertaker’s big clothesline, as he is bringing out the big guns early. Shamrock must have watched some Bret Hart matches before this as he brilliantly goes for the big man’s legs. Undertaker brings out a nice looking back suplex and goes to a choke behind the referee’s back. Right back to the legs goes Shamrock and Undertaker is selling surprisingly well. Shamrock blocks a hip toss and rolls into a great leg lock. On the outside, Shamrock places Undertaker’s leg on the steel steps and stomps on it. Undertaker resorts to a drop toe hold and then wails away on Shamrock, only to have it reversed and end up in an armbar. Back outside, we get more leg work until Shamrock makes a miscue and leaps at Taker from the apron. He is caught and driven into the ring post. Undertaker wants us to know that he too can target a body part and works the lower back even using a bow and arrow. Undertaker limps into a leg drop but Shamrock rolls through into a leg lock, which was badass. It is countered into a half Boston crab though and this is the real first glimpse that I can remember of Undertaker being a guy who can work a submission style match. A big boot gets a near fall but Shamrock didn’t kick out so it looked awkward as hell. The Tombstone gets reversed and Shamrock gets the Ankle Lock on! Bradshaw runs out with a bat so Shamrock goes for him. Undertaker goes for the Chokeslam and Shamrock counters into another rolling submission. Now a Paul Bearer distraction stops him but he still snaps off a belly to belly suplex. Shamrock then makes the mistake that others have and tries to Tombstone Undertaker. It gets reversed into Undertaker’s own and that is enough to win.

Winner: The Undertaker in 18:53
I’ve heard mixed reviews about this match but I liked it more than I expected to. Yes there were a lot of submissions but they all made sense. Ken Shamrock came off looking smart and tough while Undertaker impressed more than he usually did during his Ministry run. ***1/4

The Undertaker leaves Bradshaw in the ring with Ken Shamrock and he proceeds to beat him up with it. Nothing else happens, just Bradshaw hitting three or so moves.

WWF Championship No Holds Barred Match
“Stone Cold” Steve Austin (c) vs. The Rock
Austin charges the ring to start and levels Rock with piston like right hands. Shane McMahon tries to stop Austin, which allows Rock to take control but Austin comes back with a LOU THEZ PRESS! RIGHT HAND RIGHT HANDS! THE RATTLESNAKE STRIKES! The momentum swings after a Rock swinging neckbreaker. See what I did there? It’s not a good old fashioned Attitude Era brawl unless we fight up the aisle. Rock whips Austin into the entrance set and part of it comes tumbling down. Austin hits a suplex on the concrete and the crowd is red hot. They continue to trade stuff and Austin actually hits a clothesline off of a speaker. Rock throws him into a camera and chokes the champion with cables. As they make it back to the ring, you can clearly see Austin tell Rock something in his ear before throwing him into the steps. Finally back to the ring and Shane stops Austin from stomping a mudhole and shoves him. Austin can’t retaliate or he loses the belt. He goes outside and to the Spanish announce table with Rock. A low blow is followed by a Rock Bottom through the table! In classic Rock form, he steals a headset and provide color commentary. Shane steals a steel chair from Austin and hands it to Rock but it backfires. The fight moves to the crowd now for a bit. Shane and Rock seem to be disagreeing and arguing about Rock’s need to showboat. He takes a camera and films himself talking trash to a downed Austin. We get the awesome visual of receiving a Stunner first person from Rock’s camera. In the ring, Austin goes for the Stunner but Rock shoves him off and Shane goes down. Rock Bottom hits and Shane drapes Rock’s arm over Austin but only gets two. Shane gets the belt and goes to hit Austin but nails Rock instead. Austin covers and Shane stops his count before three. He runs away but Vince McMahon comes out with a new referee and the Smoking Skull Belt. Shane puts a STUPID look on his face and Vince lays him out. Rock picks up the belt but walks into a Stunner. He doesn't fall so he has to be hit with the WWF Title. Earl Hebner counts the three for the finish.

Winner and Still WWF Champion: Stone Cold Steve Austin in 17:10
While we had two straight psychological bouts, this was a straight up classic Attitude Era brawl. They fought around the arena, it had the right amount of interference and was very fun. Great close to the show. ****

Cutting outside, Stephanie McMahon is shown in the limo when the Ministry comes out to hassle her. Security sends the limo away and Stephanie is all like “wait for my dad!” The driver reveals himself to be The Undertaker in a comically acted scene.

Overall: 8.5/10; Excellent. That was a blast. It exceeded my expectations by a fair amount. As I said, I’ve known Attitude Era Pay-Per-Views to sometimes lack but this one did not. The only match that was bad was the IC Title. The opener was decent but everything else was at least three stars. You get psychological battles in HHH/X-Pac and Taker/Shamrock, an impressive tag match and three really fun brawls. One of the best In Your House Pay-Per-Views and one of the better shows I’ve reviewed. Our next “Random Network Review” is going to be Clash of the Champions XX!

Raw Report 2/16/15

We open to John Cena coming out and cutting the same promo as always. Literally he just talks about how he's ready to fight, how he likes the mixed reaction he gets from the fans and says that he will win the United States Championship. Well that's different. It's about time the belt became a factor in the feud. Rusev and Lana interrupt with Lana stealing the show by calling out Cena for saying the same old thing. Cena threatens Rusev so he's all like "you can't see me". Ha. Cena charges and they go at it. I love that Rusev didn't run. I know that it's okay for heels to run, but being a monster heel, him standing his ground worked well. Cena wins the fight here, throwing Rusev into the LED stage a few times. Good opening as it is preferred to the usual 30 minute Authority promo, was short and sold the match well. In honor of the 40th Anniversary of Saturday Night Live, Dean Ambrose did a Weekend Update type skit about Bad News Barrett. It was short and entertaining, since everything Ambrose touches turns to gold. He's here to open the wrestling portion of the show against Luke Harper. I liked the mention of how he beat a former IC Champion last week, Curtis Axel and is going to try and do that again now. I'd like to see him go over a bunch of former IC Champions on the road to a title shot. He has a contract for a title shot that he's trying to get Barrett to sign. The opener was damn good, as both guys are awesome and Ambrose won in about 11 minutes. I just wish there was something more for Harper to do because he's fantastic. Backstage, Kane and Big Show get into a tiff over their issues from Smackdown, while Triple H tries to play peacemaker. Show brings up May 13th, even though he meant May 19th. I really hope we don't get a Kane/Show program down the line. Next, Bray Wyatt cuts a promo about the Undertaker. He doesn't say the name, but it seems pretty clear. He's doing a good job of building this without his opponent around.

Stardust and Goldust are backstage when Dusty Rhodes come up and calls Stardust "Cody." He wants Stardust to focus on family and not the "cosmic" crap. He seems to agree. They head to the ring for a match against the New Day. Poor New Day still gets no reaction from the fans. New Day wins in just under three minutes, pinning Goldust. Post match, Stardust lays out his brother. Nobody is surprised at this turn of events as it was way too telegraphed. On the WWE App, he cut a great promo about Cody Rhodes being dead and how what he just did was a "beautiful disaster", which is an excellent play on his old move.

Roman Reigns is interviewed backstage about the Daniel Bryan situation.

He says that he gave Bryan the chance at Fast Lane and he'll take it away. He also calls out Bryan for not taking his Royal Rumble loss like a man. Bryan came out to do commentary during Reigns' match against Kane. He battles Lane for line of the night when asked about being stripped of the title. He responded with "I had one less defense than Brock Lesnar so they didn't have to strip me." SHOTS FIRED! The match is pretty dull and goes about six minutes before Roman wins via DQ. WHY? Seriously, the guy who I'm supposed to believe is a threat to Bryan and Brock Fucking Lesnar can't pin Kane? What's he gonna do, beat Brock via countout at WrestleMania? Awful booking. It's the opposite of making Roman look strong. Kane and Big Show are the trash that he should be annihilating.

We get another Bray Wyatt promo about the Undertaker before cutting backstage. The Bella Twins steal Paige's gear, causing her to exit the Divas locker room in just a towel. HOT DAMN! I should have just used Paige gifs for this entire report. She needs clothes and, after Cameron refuses to lend her some, steals a Rosebud's fairy outfit. When she came out for the match, she looked like an emo Katy Perry. It worked for me. She beat Summer Rae in pretty much the same match from Smackdown. It was a childish angle but whatever. Paige saves it by looking great and interrupting the Bellas post match promo. She says she doesn't need an outfit to look good and the only thing she'll be wearing on Sunday, is the Divas Title. Good promo from Paige. Also, the fairy she stripped was NXT's Blue Pants also known as Leva Bates. We are now taken to the Sheamus Returns promo because he's coming back. Soon. One day.

Seth Rollins, along with J&J Security, come out and cut a promo. He talks about being the future but he's annoyed by Ryback, Erick Rowan and Dolph Ziggler. Dolph interrupts and they trade barbs leading to a match. As usual, these two have a good contest and just as it was getting really good, J&J jump in for the DQ. Ryback and Rowan make the save and run them off. Maybe we get a six man tag at Fast Lane, so they can at least have something to do. Triple H comes out to respond to Sting responding to him last week so they can have a face off at Fast Lane so they have a potential match at WrestleMania. Got all that? After he talks for a bit, Ric Flair cuts him off. The fans are happy to see him. Flair warns Triple H about Sting. He should give him advice on befriending Sting, only to turn on him. HHH commends Sting for being loyal to WCW, but he says that if Sting came to WWE back then, he would have ran him out because he hates that Sting's legacy is built on Flair's reputation. Flair mentions that HHH lost to Daniel Bryan last year because he's not a wrestler anymore. HHH shoves him on his ass and screams that the WWE is the most important thing to him. This was solid. Better than the usual useless Flair appearance.

On the Raw Pre-Show, Darren Young was interviewed about his return when the Ascension interrupted and challenged him to find a partner. Young has a totally generic CAW as his partner. The Ascension beat them down until Titus O'Neill makes the save, reuniting the Prime Time Players. I liked them as a team, so I'm glad they're back, but it's random and the crowd didn't care. You know why? Because they jobbed as a team, they jobbed separately and they'll probably job again. I hope not though. Backstage, Miz tells Bad News Barrett to knock Damien Sandow down a few pegs in their match, while Miz will watch out for Ambrose. We don't get the catchphrase again, so is he just Wade Barrett tonight? Mizdow gets the advantage, so Miz rings a bell fo rhim to stop and makes him shine his shoes. Good lord Miz is a phenomenal heel. Barrett wins and out comes Ambrose. Miz does nothing to stop him. Dean ties Barrett to the post and uses his hand to sign the contract. This was pretty fun but if someone like Clarence Mason was still around, this would never hold up.

More cryptic words from Bray Wyatt, who is going all 1994 Undertaker by building a casket it seems. Time for mixed tag action as Naomi and Jimmy Uso take on Tyson Kidd and Natalya. It's announced that Kidd and Cesaro get a Tag Title shot at Fast Lane. Kidd didn't want the tag, but berates Nattie because he's such a good dick heel. Wise to have Nattie take the fall and I appreciate that to build this we haven't had tons of singles matches between the teams. Roman Reigns came out to wach the main event and was a complete ass but in a good way. He took photos with fans, chuckled when Bryan was in pain and dismissed his offense. By the way, it was Bryan vs. Big Show. We get a bullshit DQ finish as Reigns Superman punches Show. Seriously? The need to protect Show and Kane is sickening. This led to Bryan and Reigns brawling all around the ring which was the most entertaining thing of the night. Their dynamic has been fantastic. Both guys have looked like the heel and face at different times. This was a red hot way to close show, that even featured an appearance from NORMAN SMILEY! THE BIG WIGGLE! Even when officials hld them back and they shake hands, they go right back to rumbling. That worked as an exceptional close for a go home show.

I have to seriously commend that closing. We all know that the go home show is supposed to make us want to watch the Pay-Per-View and this did exactly that. I am more pumped for Roman Reigns vs. Daniel Bryan than ever before. They also built towards the Tag Title, IC Title, US Title and Diva Title matches well, plus the Sting/HHH stuff. My only real issue with the show was the booking of Kane and Show. They don't need to be protected and because of that, it led to a countout and two DQ finishes tonight. 7.5/10.

Fave Five 2/9/15-2/15/15

1) Kevin Owens: This has to be one of the hardest weeks to make these choices ever. A lot has happened but the thing I have to put at the top was Kevin Owens winning the NXT Championship. The guy has only had three televised matches but vaulted of the top of the brand. His mach was Sami Zayn featured storytelling at its finest and was another in a string of fantastic matches from NXT on their specials. He came out looking like an absolute monster as he destroyed Sami until the referee had to call for the bell in an impressive performance. Some people have complained online because he's only been around for two months but there was no better choice right now. The story we got at TakeOver: Rival was incredible. Owens could be Brock Lesnar like as a dominant force.

2) AJ Styles:  Since leaving TNA AJ Styles has rejuvenated his career. He won the IWGP Heavyweight Title last year before recapturing it this week against Hiroshi Tanahasi. With the fact that the Bullet Club seems to have a stranglehold on the titles in NJPW, I can see Styles having a pretty sustained run with the gold. The match itself wasn't up to snuff with what I have come to expect from AJ Styles but that was more because he has set such a high bar. Don't get me wrong, it was good stuff but I was a tad disappointed. The Bullet Club seem poised to have another huge year in 2015, with AJ Styles at the very top of it all.

3) Sasha Banks:  Yup, I'm going there and putting her in third. I realize that Tomohiro Ishii had a match of the year candidate but as a big fan of Sasha Banks, I had to show her love. The girl loves the business and she finally won the NXT Women's Championship. With the SHIMMER Title, it's the belt that I consider to be the pinnacle of women's wrestling. Banks went out with Charlotte, Becky Lynch and Bayley and had a fantastic match. She pinned the champion to win, which was unexpected, and her celebration was very emotional and just made me like her even more.

4) Tomohiro Ishii: This guy is built like a tank. I haven't seen much of him since I only recently got NJPW World but dammit if the match at New Beginnings wasn't incredible. It was for the vacant NEVER Openweight Championship and it stole the entire weekend. This was just two guys hitting each other hard and it was damn entertaining. It's another run with the belt for Ishii but the biggest thing is that he had the best match of the week during a time that saw NXT put on three match of the year candidates. Think about that.

5) Finn Balor: At NXT TakeOver: Rival, there was a series of three awesome matches. The first of those three was the finals of the Number One Contender's Tournament as Adrian Neville took on Finn Balor. I expected the outcome but getting there was glorious. Neville and Balor put on a great showing. Finn rocked the awesome body paint again, giving us goosebumps with his slightly modified entrance. Once the match started he continued to perform and they nearly stole the show. Balor won a hard fought match, being the only person besides Sami Zayn that I can remember pinning Adrian Neville. He is moving towards the top of NXT and it's going to be great.

Random Network Reviews: Royal Rumble 2009

Royal Rumble 2009
January 25th, 2009 – Joe Louis Arena in Detroit, Michigan – Attendance: 16,685

With “Random Network Reviews” now including ALL Pay-Per-Views, Saturday Night’s Main Events, Clash of the Champions and more, the next one to be pulled randomly is the 2009 Royal Rumble. Coming into this year, I was very much into the idea of Randy Orton being the next WWE Champion. He had just returned with cool sleeve tattoos, was interesting to watch and had just punted Vince McMahon in the skull. It’s crazy to think that 2009 is already five years ago and it will be interesting to see how things have changed and stayed the same.

The intro video plays with “Let It Rick” by Kevin Rudolf and Lil Wayne in the background along with highlights from Royal Rumbles past. It gets intercut with Randy Orton’s “Voices” theme and clips of him punting Vince McMahon and disrespecting Stephanie. I’ll admit, it was one of the more vicious looking punts. Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler somberly open by saying that even with Mr. McMahon’s condition, the show must go on. ECW commentary, Matt Striker and Todd Grisham, one of my favorite recent duos, take over for the opener.

ECW Championship
Jack Swagger (c) vs. Matt Hardy
Two weeks prior, on ECW, Jack Swagger fulfilled his potential as a “wrestling prodigy” and won the ECW Title. This was the Swagger that I enjoyed, long before he won the World Title on Smackdown and was stripped of all personality. A collar and elbow tie up to start, but Matt hits him with a stiff jab that sends Swagger out to catch a breather. Matt gets him out there but back inside, Swagger brings him to the mat where he wants him. He uses his amateur background to his advantage, but Matt fights out and hits a bulldog for two. Matt gets tossed outside and lands on his arm. Swagger, like a shark smelling blood, wisely goes right after the arm. He even hits a big boot to the shoulder for two. I love when someone targets a body part and pretty much every move is directed there. Matt hits another bulldog, but is selling well. Swagger blocks a kick and gets a near fall with a belly to belly. He follows with a smart single arm DDT but makes a mistake up top. Matt hits a poor looking moonsault for two. Swagger blocks the Side Effect and goes back to the shoulder by driving it into the ring post. From that spot, Swagger nails the Gutwrench Powerbomb and retains.

Winner and Still ECW Champion: Jack Swagger in 10:27
I really enjoyed the psychology of that. Jack Swagger looked very smart by targeting the injury and Matt Hardy sold it well. Better than I expected. ***1/2

Randy Orton is shown arriving earlier today and the roster gives him odd looks and are unusually quiet.

WWE Women’s Championship
Beth Phoenix (c) w/ Santino Marella vs. Melina
Glamarella was way better than it had any right to be and I enjoyed it. Melina does her best early on but is just overpowered by Beth Phoenix. She swings her like a rag doll and this is when Beth is at her best. When she has a girl who can sell her offense well. Melina counters a side slam into an attempted armbar. Beth just lifts her and throws her into the corner. Beth then applies a half Boston Crab and torques it to the point where Melina’s foot is touching her head. She takes it a step further by making Melina STOMP ON HER OWN HEAD! Great, creative spot. Beth picks up Melina for a gorilla press but she slips free. Melina seemed to try a rollup but nothing comes of it as they get stuck. She ends up rolling her up for two anyway and drives her knees into the Champion’s back. She leaps off the top with a Rey Mysterio like move before going for her finisher. Beth blocks it and tries the Glam Slam, but Melina reverses into a pin for the three.

Winner and New WWE Women’s Champion: Melina in 5:56
A pretty good Divas match. Beth Phoenix was her dominating self and we saw a memorable spot because of it. Melina took the beating she should have and then got the sneak win. However, it’s a finish that we’ve seen often with Beth. **

This was during the ridiculous storyline in which Shawn Michaels was supposedly broke and had to be employed by JBL. He let JBL beat him to become number one contender. After the video package, JBL tells Shawn Michaels that if he wins the belt tonight, he will pay Shawn everything he owes him and that he’ll be done with him. He’ll also give him a spot in the Royal Rumble. I had no clue that having money means you can play General Manager. JBL leaves and Shawn turns right into The Undertaker. He tells Shawn that sometimes, its hell trying to get to heaven. FORESHADOWING!

World Heavyweight Championship
John Cena (c) vs. John “Bradshaw” Layfield w/ Shawn Michaels
It looks so weird to see John Cena wearing Big Gold. These two had a brutal match back in 2005 that helped solidify John Cena as the guy. Surprisingly, this opens with some mat wrestling that leads to JBL going outside to tell Shawn Michaels something. Cena hits his signature bulldog for a near fall and then busts out the Throwback for another. Outside, a slight distraction by Michaels allows JBL to jump in the driver’s seat. JBL wears him down with some elbows, while we get shots of Shawn’s expressionless face. JBL knocks Cena outside and seems to want the countout but then realizes this is a title match and goes to get him. Cena rallies when he knocks JBL off the top and nails his diving Fameasser for two. JBL bounces off the ropes like he’s going for the Clothesline from Hell, but Cena is bent down in front of him and he just awkwardly runs into him. Time for the Five Knuckle Shuffle combo and Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment but JBL blocks with a big elbow. Cena doesn’t care because he locks in the STF right in Shawn Michaels’ face. See, the Monday before, this happened during Shawn’s match with Cena and JBL pushed the ropes towards Shawn. Shawn doesn’t do it here, but Cena breaks the hold anyway. JBL hits the Clothesline from Hell but Cena kicks out at two, because he’s Cena. Like nothing happened, Cena goes for the AA but JBL again blocks and accidentally big boots the referee. Of course there’s a ref bump. Shawn enters with both men down and they slowly get to their feet. The anticipation is high and Shan chooses to drill JBK with Sweet Chin Music. Cena seems pleased and Shawn wants none of that, so he gives Cena one as well! He drags JBL’s limp body over Cena and leaves. A new official runs out and Cena kicks out. As they get up, Cena ducks a clothesline and hits the AA to wrap this up.

Winner and Still World Heavyweight Champion: John Cena in 15:29
It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t very good either. They’ve had better performances and the MVP of this thing was Shawn Michaels. **1/4

2008 was spent building Jeff Hardy towards the WWE Championship. He was close to the title on numerous occasions and was found injured before Survivor Series. On that night, he was replaced by Edge. Edge would win the belt but lose it the following month to Jeff, who finally realized his dream. Things turned sour for him though as he and his girlfriend got run off the road and his pyro damn near killed him one night. Someone clearly has it in for Jeff.

WWE Championship
Jeff Hardy (c) vs. Edge w/ Chavo Guerrero
Before this thing starts, Vickie Guerrero changes it to a No Disqualification match. Jeff Hardy charges at Edge and pounds away on him for everything he’s supposedly done over the past few weeks. A “We Want Christian” chant breaks out as a lot of fans, myself included, hoped to find out that Christian was behind the attacks on Jeff. Jeff is first to get a weapon but eats a dropkick, which knocks it out of his hand. Jeff knocks Edge outside and then hits a diving clothesline off the apron. He goes to springboard back in but a distraction from Chavo allows Edge to kick him in the face. Edge starts to pick apart Jeff and seems to be focusing on the ribs. Jeff surprised with a sunset flip for two but Edge clotheslines back down for two. They go up top and Jeff shoves Edge to the mat. He goes for a cross body but gets dropkicked in mid-air. They’re doing a great job of conveying how Edge knows Jeff’s every move and is ready for it. Edge goes to bring a chair in but Jeff spears him off the apron. Jeff dives out onto Edge and I see the ECW table and wonder why they’re still even out there. Jeff hits a Twist of Fate onto the apron which was a cool spot. Instead of clearing off the useless ECW table, Jeff goes for the Raw table and brings out a ladder. Chavo intervenes and pays the price for it, as Jeff puts him through the table with an elbow! Back inside, Edge exposes the turnbuckle. Jeff doesn’t eat the corner though and hits Whisper in the Winds. Jeff gets a near fall with that and another with a small package. He goes up top but Edge gets away. He counters the Hardyac Arrest corner dropkick by driving Jeff’s face into the exposed buckle. Creative stuff. Edge goes in for the Spear but Jeff catches him with the Twist of Fate! He climbs to the top but Vickie comes out to stop him. He hits the Swanton Bomb anyway but Vickie pulls the referee out. Matt Hardy comes out with a chair and puts Vickie in the corner. They set up for the con-chair-to on Edge, but Matt instead strikes his brother with the chair! HEEL TURN! Edge and Vickie are shocked but Edge, ever the opportunist, crawls over and pins Jeff.

Winner and New WWE Champion: Edge in 19:22
This is what happens when two guys have worked each other for years. They have instant chemistry and the fans were treated to a damn good match. The heel turn was relatively shocking and the only thing I disagree with, was Jeff dropping the title in his first defense. ***3/4

Jim Ross says it makes him physically ill to see one brother do this to another. He must have thrown up a lot when Bret and Owen feuded in 1994. Jeff is helped to the back by officials before we go backstage to future ESPN anchor Todd Grisham. He asks Randy Orton about the ramifications of his attack on Mr. McMahon. Chris Jericho, of all people, interrupts to say that he doesn’t vilify Orton for what he did. He then also says he thinks Orton will be fired. Odd segment. Lastly, we get the “Royal Rumble by the Numbers” video. I happen to love these things.

Royal Rumble Match
Rey Mysterio draws number one, bringing up memories of his 2006 win where he won from the beginning, albeit at number two. I remember watching this with my friends live and saying that John Morrison should be one of the first two so we could see his slow motion entrance and he indeed draws number two. They have a decent little athletic back and forth during their time alone and both guys hang on to prevent elimination. The buzzer sounds and its Carlito. He spits his apple because that’s cool and adds to the athletic start here, hitting a double jump moonsault. MVP enters at four, fresh off of ending his stupid and lengthy losing streak. There’s an “MVP” chant as he snaps off a belly to belly to Rey and hits the “Ballin” elbow drop in one motion. I expected him to do a lot in this Rumble coming off of his big win over Big Show. Rey stops MVP’s run with a head scissors of sorts after surviving elimination. The Great Khali draws number five, and with his recent release, continues the trend of entrants who are no longer with the company. He’s huge so he dominates but it’s less impressive since he’s the Punjabi Playboy here. Vladimir Kozlov, two months removed from a Pay-Per-View WWE Title shot, enters at six. Kozlov dumps out Khali on his own but it looks awful. He then throws out MVP to a chorus of boos. There goes my hope of a good MVP performance. He tosses Carlito too before Triple H comes out at seven because he’s tired of Kozlov’s crap. Kozlov misses a headbutt and hits the turnbuckle, which looked hilarious. HHH then eliminates Kozlov; sending him into a comedy tag team with Santino Marella. Randy Orton draws eight, and is the first entrant to still be a consistent member of the roster in 2014. He goes toe to toe with HHH because of the family issues after attacking Vince. Morrison, trying to move up in the card, interrupts them. Rey hits him with the 619 and everyone is down. Nine arrives and the Cryme Tyme theme hits. Both JTG and Shad come out and flip a coin to see who gets the spot. JTG wins and the camera catches Shad find out that it’s a double sided coin. I remember laughing incredibly hard at this live. He does nothing of note.

Ted Dibiase draws number ten, making it nine of ten guys that aren’t with the company anymore just five years later. Triple H and Rey are still there but not active. Morrison and JTG both hang on and get into a fight while handing before Rey and Dibiase do the very same thing. Chris Jericho comes in at 11 and I didn’t expect another big star so soon. He and Triple H engage in a battle of finisher counters before Jericho joins the list of guys who have skinned the cat so far, which is now up to six of the 11. Number 12 is Mike Knox and his beard. He goes right for Mysterio and then we see Orton and Dibiase team up because they’re in Legacy. They go for JTG, which is probably some sort of hate crime. The Miz arrives at 13 and looking at him, you wouldn’t believe he’s a future WWE Champion. He works some double team stuff Morrison but misses his Awesome Clothesline. Orton goes on an RKO RAMPAGE, hitting four in a row before HHH plants him with a Pedigree and eliminates Miz and Morrison together. Finlay draws 14 as Rey nearly goes out but walks on Miz and Morrison’s backs to get back in. Nothing good happens here and we’re halfway home when Cody Rhodes comes in. Legacy is complete and they continue the hate crime on JTG before focusing on HHH. Rey tries to springboard in but is caught with a mid-air RKO! Things get serious as a gong goes off and Undertaker draws 16. The ring lines up against him and all get a piece, but JTG is the only one tossed. Goldust comes in at 17 and ends up slapping his brother. He nearly dumps him out twice and its crazy how much better Goldust looks in 2014. He eats Orton’s sixth RKO of the match I believe. Cody tosses Goldust just before the new Intercontinental Champion, CM Punk joins the fray. He takes out Cody and Ted before hitting HHH with the GTS. ACRONYMS! Number 19 is Mark Henry and SOMEBODY BOUT TO GET THEY WIG SPLIT! Why is Mike Knox still in this thing?

The United States Champion, Shelton Benjamin, comes in at twenty. There are currently twelve guys in the ring and Shelton leaps to the top to take out Punk and Jericho with a super double Paydirt. Cody, Goldust, Ted, Shelton and Henry have all worn black and gold tonight. Punk skins the cat as 21, William Regal, enters. He goes right for Punk, who just took the IC Title from him. The camera missed Mark Henry getting eliminated somehow and even commentary is lost. 22 is Kofi Kingston, and he’s still Jamaican here. Mysterio has been in for 33 minutes at this point. Shelton tries to splash Undertaker but is slammed to the mat and eliminated. Kane enters at 23, so hopefully it’s time to clear out some of the ring. He has a faceoff with his brother, who is bleeding, and they double Chokeslam Ted Dibiase. Punk pulls Regal over the top and out before R-Truth joins the match. He hits his spinning forearm on HHH, who has pretty much eaten every signature move. The crowd pops hard for Rob Van Dam at 25, who is making a surprise appearance. He nails everyone with kicks and stuff. The Brian Kendrick is 26 and dammit if I didn’t absolutely love this character. He instantly eliminates Kofi but gets tossed by HHH in less than a minute. The most successful number in Rumble history, 27 goes to Dolph Ziggler who has awful music. He is doing his “I’M DOLPH ZIGGLER” shtick and gets tossed by Kane after introducing himself. So there goes that. Crazy to think how those two just main evented Smackdown like a week ago. Santino Marella is 28 and gets clotheslined out in one second setting the record for quickest elimination ever. This made perfect sense as the “Rumble by the Numbers” thing brought up Warlord’s two second record and Santino was purely a comedy character. However, in a Rumble where everyone has lasted long, the last three guys have survived a combined minute or so. 29 is another surprise as Jim Duggan comes in. He is the first Rumble winner but is in DIRE need of a shirt. Unfortunately, he outlasts the three previous entrants. The final participant is the Big Show.

The previous two years, number thirty has won but Show goes face to face with The Undertaker. Kane, sticking up for his brother, chops Show. Duggan must be on drugs as he tries to slam Show. It fails and he is gone. Knox and Finlay are still in here but Show eliminates R-Truth, so he’s cleaning it up some. It’s like everyone is hanging on as Punk literally does it three straight times until Show knocks him out. Show takes out trash by dumping Knox and Rey. Hornswoggle comes in to attack Kane but when he defends himself, Finlay gets mad. Kane gets rid of him. Orton gets in his signature DDT as Show and Taker square off again. RVD hits the Five Star and Jericho eliminates him but turns right around into the Undertaker. The Deadman survives a Codebreaker and rids the ring of the MVP of the second half of 2008. As Kane struggles to get Orton over, the rest of Legacy turns the tables on him and Kane is gone. Legacy is left with Triple H, Big Show and Undertaker. Show, like a moron, assaults HHH so Legacy jumps Undertaker. He takes all three of them out and gets into a slugfest with Show. He big boots Show over but Show actually somehow hangs on like a lightweight! He brings Taker onto the apron with him and they choke each other before both getting knocked outside and continuing their fight. HHH is left alone with Legacy, who jump him. HHH rallies and thinks he eliminated Orton before actually tossing Dibiase and Rhodes. Orton sneaks up and gets rid of HHH to end this thing.

Winner: Randy Orton in 58:37
Solid Royal Rumble but nothing special. Too many people survived for too long, leaving this to drag after number 30 arrived. Also, the outcome was never really in doubt. ***

Overall: 7/10; Good. This was a good show. The opener was a very well done match from a psychological standpoint and the WWE Championship match was the best of the night. The Divas match was decent but the World Title match was boring. The Rumble itself was only alright and could’ve been better. In the end, it was an enjoyable three hours. Next up on “Random Network Reviews” looks like it’s going to be Backlash 1999!

Smackdown Report 2/12/15

We open backstage, which is sometimes weird. Kane and Big Show hype up the tag team division for a Team Team Turmoil match later tonight, in which Roman Reigns and Daniel Bryan will be a part of it. I wonder how the actual teams will look in that match. To the ring, we open with Bray Wyatt vs. R-Truth. Commentary actually does a good job here in discussing Bray's recent promos where he claims that he's not scared of someone. It's pretty clear it's the Undertaker he's talking about, but I'm glad commentary decided to bring it up. Using Sister Abigail, Bray wins in just over four minutes which is how it should be. I'll give the WWE credit; they've gone a commendable job in trying to save Bray after he fell hard last year.

We see a recap of Paige's issues with the Bella Twins. Paige would be facing former Total Diva, Summer Rae, while the Bella Twins joined in on commentary. Nikki Bella did pretty good there while Brie was rather useless. Or maybe she didn't have a headset. I'm not sure, I barely heard her. Paige and Summer did well with their three minutes and Paige won by using the PTO. The Bellas and Paige have a staredown. Highlights of the Rusev/Cena angle from Raw is shown. It still intrigues me that they go out of their way to call Cena old. The Sheamus return video and Rikishi HOF video are both shown before we go to a rematch of last week's useless match between Adam Rose and Fandango. Wasn't Rose down with Tyson Kidd and Cesaro? Whatever. For the second straight week Fandango wins. I'm still not sure if we're supposed to see him as a face. I can't stand Rosa and I don't like Fandango, so I can't cheer for them. Guess what's next guys? Raw recaps because we see the whole Sting/Triple H stuff and Roman Reigns/Daniel Bryan angle.

There is over an hour left in the broadcast and we're starting the main event. Well damn. Roman Reigns and Daniel Bryan start the Turmoil off against Miz and Damien Mizdow. It makes sense given the limited roster due to the overseas trip a lot of guys are on. Bryan and Reigns eliminate Miz and Mizdow in just under three minutes while one upping each other. The Tag Team Champions were out next which should be tough. This was a lot more fun as all four guys seemed to enjoy this run. Bryan is always great while the Usos and Roman seemed to like working each other. They played up the tension between Reigns and Bryan again as Bryan tries to win by countout but Reigns doesn't want that. They win this one via submission and Reigns breaks it up as Bryan holds it for a bit too long. Some heel tendencies from Bryan eh? Or maybe Roman was just not happy because the Usos are his cousins.That Usos portion took over 20 minutes. Los Matadores is next and Bryan eliminates them in two minutes. SLATER GATOR is next and Roman gets rid of them in a minute. The Ascension is next and they lose via disqualification after tossing Reigns and Bryan around outside and hitting the Fall of Man on Bryan. At least they kept them looking strong. The final team out is Big Show and Kane. They tried to pick up the pieces of the fallen team but it failed as they are resilient. Kane and Show started to argue and Show knocked out Kane. He turned around into a Spear and running knee that allowed Bryan and Reigns to prevail. Roman helped Bryan up and they stared at the WrestleMania sign to close the show.

Well I enjoyed that episode. The VAST majority was taken up by the main event, which was really good, so the show will get a good score. I believe in TV time, that went about 42 minutes and over an hour including commercials. They booked it well to keep the Ascension and the Usos strong. With the exception of Fandango/Rose, everything was fine, but I can even excuse that since they were working with a limited roster. 8/10.