Raw History: Episodes 25-26

Raw History
Episode #25
July 12th, 1993 – Manhattan Center in Manhattan, New York – Attendance: 1,000

We are now a quarter of the way through less than a tenth of the total episodes in Raw history. Sheesh. This was recorded after last week’s live episode.

WWF Championship
Yokozuna (c) w/ Mr. Fuji vs. Crush
I always like it when the WWF Title is defended on Raw, but Crush is not a good choice since he sucks. Since Raw is a place where anything can happen, the fans are pumped. They even sing parts of the National Anthem, which is probably my favorite patriotic chant ever. They do the whole “Yokozuna is too big to be knocked down” stuff for a while, so Crush goes to a corner splash. Vince calls it WHATAMANUEVER! The once hot crowd now dies as Yokozuna moves to a nerve hold but the commercial break is expertly timed. Scratch that, Yokozuna goes back to the nerve hold because it’s the only rest hold he knows. Crush rallies and gets two on a flying shoulder block. This once rabid crowd has died because both guys are pretty awful. Fuji nails Crush in the back with the flag leading to Yokozuna hitting the Banzai Drop.

Winner and Still WWF Champion: Yokozuna in 11:08
This was as boring as I expected. Two bad wrestlers had a bad match. To kill this red hot crowd is a damn shame. ¼*

Yokozuna continues to hit more Banzai Drops on Crush because even he’s offended by his awfulness. Tatanka tries to make the save but gets laid out. Jobbers come to make the save but they get stopped too. Macho Man finally gets in pull Crush out of harm’s way. He’ll come to regret that when they feud next year. Spoiler alert. Crush does a stretcher job, which just makes me hope he’s gone for a while.

The Headshrinkers w/ Afa vs. Aaron Ferguson and PJ Walker
Good for Walker as he’s back to PH after being BJ recently. There’s an “Afa” chant. They drop Walker on his head on a flapjack that nearly killed him. Samu follows with a vicious clothesline. To hype themselves up, the Headshrinkers headbutt each other. They roll the dead Walker to the corner and bring Ferguson in. Bobby Heenan steals the show by saying that Walker could star in Weekend at Bernie’s III. Commentary completely confuses the names of both guys. I seriously think Walker is dead. A splash finishes off Ferguson.

Winners: The Headshrinkers in 3:20
Well goddamn. That was up there with some of the best jobber killings I have ever witnessed. That made this enjoyable. **¼

An ad airs for the Intercontinental Title rematch next week between Shawn Michaels and Marty Jannetty.

Tatanka vs. The Brooklyn Brawler
Tatanka is the biggest TV hog the WWF had at the time. I’m so sick of seeing his matches. The Brawler has been part of the WWF for what has to be like 30 years. Commentary pretty much ignores the match to discuss Yokozuna. Tatanka works the arm until Brawler actually gets in some offense. He chokes Tatanka with his shirt but this is getting WAY more time than it deserves. Tatanka does his little rally and wins with the Samoan Drop.

Winner: Tatanka in 7:09
Boring. I see enough of Tatanka that I can live without a seven minute match against a jobber. His style continues to bore me. ¾*

Before the next match, footage airs of kids hyping Lex Luger. One kid doesn’t shut up and rambles. It sucks.

Mr. Hughes w/ Harvey Wippleman vs. Tony DeVito
Tony DeVito is a chubby fella, so it helps that he shed weight during his run with Da Baldies in ECW. Someone walks out with a reef that says “Rest in Peace”. Gee, I wonder who’s behind this. Hughes does a bunch of punches as DeVito puts in more effort bumping then Hughes does in his offense. When he wins with the Bossman Slam, Vince claims that move is reminiscent of the Undertaker. Does he even watch matches?

Winner: Mr. Hughes in 1:52
Mr. Hughes is so awful to watch. I hate his squash matches. ¼*

Mean Gene brings us the SummerSlam Report. The biggest match signed so far is Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler. Way to waste your top guy. Lex Luger is petitioning for a title shot as well. Not much here.

Another MOM promo airs. It’s worse than the first one but the shots of the “hood” make me reminisce about my childhood.

Adam Bomb w/ Johnny Polo vs. Scott Amanti
I don’t get the Adam Bomb/Johnny Polo pairing at all. Scott Amanti is tiny, especially compared to Bomb. Bomb throws him around and wins this with a powerbomb, which is an aptly named finisher for him.

Winner: Adam Bomb in 2:14
Better than the Mr. Hughes match but disappointing because I wanted Adam to kill Amanti like the Headshrinkers did to their jobbers earlier. *¼

Next week, we get the King’s Court, which is my least favorite Talk Show segment in wrestling history. However, we also get Shawn Michaels vs. Marty Jannetty.

Overall: 2/10; Terrible. Raw has a trend (that will be more evident as time goes on), where it’s a big time match followed by squashes. We kind of get that here but the marquee match sucked hard. The jobber matches weren’t very good either but the Headshrinkers at least had fun in their match. Not one of the better episodes so far.

Raw History
Episode #26
July 19th, 1993 – Manhattan Center in Manhattan, New York – Attendance: 1200

Back to Raw being live this week. We start with shots of the ridiculous Lex Express. After the opening video, Vince McMahon hypes up the debut of MOM tonight. Yuck.

WWF Intercontinental Championship
Shawn Michaels (c) w/ Diesel vs. Marty Jannetty
We see footage of Marty Jannetty returning to win the title from Shawn Michaels in this very building nine weeks ago. The crowd is stoked at the prospect of lightning striking twice here. The competitors feed that as Marty counters everything and gets multiple quick near falls that the crowd eats up. After a breather, Shawn gets back in and they work a standoff that’s a precursor to the stuff that we love on the indies. When Shawn misses the Superkick he gets frustrated again. Marty hits a DDT and seems to win but Shawn’s foot is on the ropes. He celebrates with the title even though Bobby Heenan points out the mistake. Vince McMahon just orgasms all over that. During the commercial, the match restarts. Jannetty goes to a sleeper but Shawn gets out and they do a double shoulder block spot. Returning from commercial, Shawn nails a double axe handle before going to the chin lock. I feel like the chin lock should have come during the break. There’s a “Womp there it is” chant going on. Oh, the 90’s. Marty hits a big elbow for two. Shawn tries a powerbomb but Jannetty counters into a hurricanrana for a VERY close near fall. Shawn comes back with a cross body that Marty rolls through for two again. Marty tries a cross body of his own but misses and crashes and burns over and outside. Diesel rolls him inside and Shawn gets the three.

Winner and Still WWF Intercontinental Champion: Shawn Michaels in 14:20
Really good stuff. Not up to par with their match nine months earlier but I enjoy their chemistry. The finish was a bit anti-climactic though. ***½

Vince McMahon introduces Money Inc. for an interview. They promote their upcoming rematch for the WWF Tag Team Titles while IRS calls people tax cheats. He has just one line and he runs it into the ground. They switch gears to badmouth Razor Ramon, who has now completed his face turn. They offer him a job shining their shoes and such. “Rich mang and tax mang.” I love his terrible Spanish Accent. Ted Dibiase slaps him with money, leading to Razor knocking them out. After Razor leaves, Dibiase challenges the 1-2-3 Kid.

Men on a Mission vs. Rich Myers and Hank Harris
Hearing Vince McMahon get excited for this awful team and their ridiculous outfits is cringe worthy. Also, Oscar somehow thinks that “one” and “mission” rhyme. This is all Men on a Mission but they aren’t very interesting. Mabel squashes one of them to win.

Winners: Men on a Mission in 1:45
For a squash, this wasn’t entertaining in the least. This team sucks and I know we’re going to see a lot of them over time. DUD

SummerSlam Report: Mean Gene dances to the Men on a Mission theme and it’s so bad it’s good. Added to the card, is a WrestleMania IX rematch between the Giant Gonzalez and the Undertaker in a Rest in Peace match. No, we have no clue what that stipulation means.

We now go to a video package for the RIDICULOUS Lex Express, complete with ICOPRO logo. It’s so over the top, I can’t stand it.

Bastion Booger vs. Scott Despres
Bastion Booger clotheslines his opponent before sitting on him. He has quite possibly the worst attire in history. Booger wins in quick and lame fashion.

Winner: Bastion Booger in 1:01
Another dull squash by a terrible wrestler. DUD

An ad for next week shows us that Bam Bam Bigelow will be taking on Bret Hart. Hey, their King of the Ring match ruled, so I’m all for this. We now go to the King’s Court with his guest, Tiny Tim. Mind you, Tiny Tim is from the 60’s. Way to be topical WWF. He’s known for his very high pitched singing while he plays his ukulele. Jerry Lawler gets cheap heat and destroys the ukulele while Tiny Tim cries. Oh my god this was completely pointless.

1-2-3 Kid vs. Chris Duffy
Chris Duffy’s attire is atrocious. He is wearing a black one strap singlet but the butt and knee pads are flower patterned. Kid unloads on him with kicks and gets his stuff in. Money Inc. shows up to scout him, leading to Razor Ramon coming over the guardrail to even the odds. Kid wins in relatively quick order.

Winner: 1-2-3 Kid in 2:10
Basic jobber stuff but a bit more enjoyable than usual since Kid is actually entertaining. *½

After the match, the 1-2-3 Kid can’t choose which side to go to since he obviously doesn’t like Money Inc. but still has issues with Razor Ramon so he just leaves through the crowd. Razor and Ted nearly get into it before things come to a close.

Overall: 4.5/10; Below Average. Things got off to such a good start with the hot Intercontinental Title match but fell hard after that. The Tiny Tim segment was horrible and didn’t achieve a single thing while being dreadful to watch. Men on a Mission and Bastion Booger both suck hard so their stuff was intolerable. The Razor/Money Inc. build was solid though.

Top Five 11/30/15-12/6/15

1) Tetsuya Naito and EVIL: Boy, it's been a really slow week hasn't it? New Japan's World Tag League is still going on and is probably the biggest thing currently happening. The finals are set and on one side, the duo representing Los Ingobernables are in. Tetsuya Naito and EVIL not only made the finals, but they pretty much dominated until the end, finishing with ten points, more than anyone else. They also bested their rivals, Katsuyori Shibata and Hirooki Goto in one of the better tournament matches. I don't see them winning since I think they have something else planned for Wrestle Kingdom, but they still deserve the top spot this week.

            2) Togi Makabe and Tomoaki Honma: As noted, the finals of the World Tag League are coming up shortly.The other team in the finals of the World Tag League is Togi Makabe and Tomoaki Honma. There has certainly been a lot of controversy surrounding Honma in the past week with the domestic abuse allegations but New Japan hasn't seemed to change their booking plans. Makabe and Honma continue to rack up the wins and they are honestly my picks to win the whole thing. If Honma isn't getting in any trouble, then having him and Makabe win the Tag Titles at WK10 makes sense. Makabe is still a big name and Honma is absurdly over. They've had a good tournament run.

3) Samoa Joe: In a pretty lame week of WWE television, the standout match was between Samoa Joe and Tommaso Ciampa in the main event of NXT. Since joining NXT, I've been very "meh" on Joe. He's a bit past his prime and wasted his best years in TNA. In NXT so far he's been good but certainly not great. The heel turns seems to have motivated him a bit and it shined brightest against Ciampa this week. The match only went about seven minutes but it was balls to the wall and hard hitting. Joe won, gaining momentum heading into his NXT Title match at TakeOver: London in a bit over a week.

                                        4) The New Day: For a long time, the New Day has been the best part of the main roster WWE programming. This week, they opened Raw with a pretty good segment featuring Sheamus. They joined commentary later on and then closed the show alongside the League of Nations. They may not have had a great match this week, but being put on Raw so often shows how the WWE knows that New Day is golden. On Smackdown, New Day got a really solid win when they defeated the Usos and Dean Ambrose in a six man tag. 

5) Chad Gable and Jason Jordan: The best tag team in NXT is easily Chad Gable and Jason Jordan, even if the champions are Dash and Dawson. Last time out, they beat the longest reigning NXT Tag Team Champions, the Ascension. This week, Gable and Jordan bested another unit of former NXT Tag Team Champions, the Vaudevillains. It wasn't a particularly long match but it was solid and once again showed off the dynamic chemistry between Gable and Jordan. There is something very special about this duo and they are just an absolute joy to watch. I expect to see them on this list a lot in 2016.

Random Network Reviews: Night of Champions 2014

Night of Champions 2014
September 21st, 2014 | Bridgestone Arena in Nashville, Tennessee | Attendance: 12,000

Coming off of a SummerSlam that saw Brock Lesnar win the WWE World Heavyweight Title, Night of Champions really needed to big. Not only because SummerSlam was a big deal, but because some of the WWE Network subscriptions were coming up and a big show was crucial for the renewals. Also of note on this show was that a big match between former Shield members Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins was booked, only for Reigns to be forced to have emergency surgery and miss this show and about four months.

Normally I would have reviewed the Kickoff Show but there were no matches on it. Instead, it was just an edition of the Peep Show so I’ll jump straight into the actual PPV. The opening video package is cool as it discusses the importance of the top title in the business, before we quickly see every current champion in the company.

WWE Tag Team Championship
The Usos (c) vs. Goldust and Stardust
The Usos are in the midst of a near seven month reign with the belts and have been having good to great matches consistently. After being excellent in 2013, the Brotherhood now turned into Stardust and Goldust here. The Usos get in the first cool move, doing an assisted EDDIE GILBERT HOT SHOT! Both teams have worked as faces for about a year but the Dust Brothers are on a fresh heel turn, which they show off by being aggressive. In an attack a few weeks ago, Jey Uso’s leg was kayfabe injured and it is smartly brought into play. An Uso leaps off the guardrail onto Stardust but runs into a Randy Orton like snap powerslam outside from Goldust. Surprisingly, the heels are working over Jimmy even though he’s not the injured one. This is some good old fashioned tag formula. Jimmy finally gets a nice enziguri in to make the hot tag to Jey. He comes in to show turnabout is fair play by targeting Stardust’s leg. Jimmy flies out onto Goldust, prompting a “that’s Uso crazy” comment from Michael Cole. I hate Michael Cole. Samoan Drop and Umaga running ass attack from Jey but Stardust comes back with Dark Matter. How great is it that Cody changed gimmicks and his moveset with it? He ties Jey up in the ropes like he’s Andre the Giant and slaps him with his glove like this is a cartoon. In a really cool spot, Jey leaps out onto Stardust just as Goldust front flips off the apron onto Jimmy. That DDP Yoga really works doesn’t it Goldust? Jey goes for a splash on Stardust, but he gets the knees up and rolls him up with a handful of tights to win.

Winners and New WWE Tag Team Champions: Goldust and Stardust in 12:49
At the time, this was still a relatively fresh match that hadn’t been beaten to death. They used tag formula very well and these are two of the better, if not best, tag teams that the WWE had at the time. I wish the finish was more definitive and that the leg injury came into play for it but still a really good match. ***¼

Byron Saxton interviews Dolph Ziggler and his stunt double, R-Ziggler. Dolph is like, the perfect choice for the Intercontinental Title and the R-Ziggler stuff was pretty funny.

WWE United States Championship
Sheamus (c) vs. Cesaro
At Payback, these two had a damn good match but this time, there is no longer Paul Heyman at ringside for Cesaro. They begin trying to feel each other out, but when Cesaro doesn’t give a clean break, instead slapping Sheamus, it breaks down into a fight. Sheamus hits the Finlay roll before they just go back to punching each other. After falling outside, Sheamus is back in with a slingshot shoulder block. He goes up top only to be knocked outside with a huge uppercut. Cesaro moves to wear down Sheamus, which makes sense here. We get stiff uppercuts and a clothesline from Cesaro before Sheamus hits the Irish Curse backbreaker twice. Sheamus’ ten beats of Bodhran is countered for the first time I think. Every single counter, strike or move has been impactful. Sheamus slams Cesaro from the top for two. Cesaro comes back with the popup uppercut, which is extra impressive considering Sheamus’ size. Cesaro ducks a Brogue Kick and hits some big moves. He goes for the Neutralizer but Sheamus counters with a backdrop. Cesaro lands on his feet though and then reverses a Brogue Kick into the fucking Alpamare Waterslide for a very close near fall. He’s pissed now and just slaps the taste out of Sheamus’ mouth like 15 times! Cesaro boots him into the corner, still just firing away. Sheamus shoves him off and screams for more so Cesaro brings more. The official pulls Cesaro back, opening the door for a Brogue Kick to retain.

Winner and Still WWE United States Champion: Sheamus in 13:06
When it comes to these two, I want to see them beat the hell out of each other and that’s exactly what we got here. They just went balls to the wall. Everything was hard hitting and impactful. The counters and near falls were great. Even the finish, which seemed slightly heelish by Sheamus, kept Cesaro strong as it was a tiny opening. A severely underrated bout. ****

Mark Henry is backstage prepping for his match tonight when Big Show comes up to him and hypes him up. He’s fighting for ‘MURICA! Then Florida Georgia Line comes to join commentary.

WWE Intercontinental Championship
Dolph Ziggler (c) w/ R-Ziggler vs. The Miz w/ Damien Mizdow
At Battleground two months prior, Miz won the IC Title in a battle royal, last eliminating Dolph Ziggler. Ziggler won the title from Miz to open SummerSlam. It’s hard to concentrate and enjoy the match when JBL and commentary just reel off Florida Georgia Line’s short list of accomplishments. Ziggler hits the heart attack series of elbows which Miz follows with a big boot. As Miz works over Ziggler, commentary starts talking about Miz’s pets. Is anyone watching the match? Ziggler gets fired up, hitting a corner splash but his Famasser is blocked, only for him to turn that into a rollup for two. When things go outside, Mizdow gets involved and badmouths the country duo until they strike him. R-Ziggler chases him off as Ziggler superkicks Miz. Miz comes back with the figure four but Ziggler gets the ropes. As Dolph calls for the Zig Zag, Mizdow reappears to distract him. Miz uses that rollup Ziggler with a handful to tights to reclaim the gold.

Winner and New WWE Intercontinental Champion: The Miz in 9:20
They’ve had better matches for sure. I enjoyed their work at SummerSlam but this didn’t click as well which is a shame since they usually have good chemistry. Commentary was a major distraction and annoyance, while the finish is another issue because we just saw a cheap rollup two matches ago. **

We are reminded of Roman Reigns’ emergency surgery that caused him to miss tonight’s show. Seth Rollins comes out and runs down Roman Reigns, saying surgery is no excuse. He gives him until the count of ten to show up, and he obviously doesn’t, so Rollins gets the forfeit victory. Knowing that the fans paid to see him, Seth brings up how much of an opportunist he is, looking at his briefcase. He issues an open challenge, which never goes well. On the titantron, we see a taxi pull up and A WILD DEAN AMBROSE appears! He hadn’t been on TV in about a month after Rollins Curb Stomped him through cinder blocks. They brawl throughout the arena and Ambrose breaks through security and more to get his hands on Rollins. This would set the stage for their Hell in a Cell match at the next PPV. 

Mark Henry vs. Rusev w/ Lana
Lillian Garcia sings the National Anthem before the bell in a ridiculously over the top show of patriotism. Mark Henry even cries during it. I loathe anti-American gimmicks, not because I’m American but because it is pure lazy booking. I do enjoy Rusev’s ring work though. Henry stands toe to toe with Rusev, not allowing him to get out of the blocks. When he does take control, he throws Henry into the steel steps. He works over Henry’s back in dull fashion for a while before going for the Accolade. Henry powers out though, using the power of America. He hits the World’s Strongest Slam as the announcers are completely unbiased. Like a genius, Rusev rolls out of the ring to avoid the pin. He superkicks Henry from the outside, before entering and winning with the Accolade.

Winner: Rusev in 8:17
Over the course of the year, I really grew to like Rusev’s work but this was arguably his worst PPV showing. He tried and had some cool moments but Mark Henry, for all of his tears before the bell, did not look motivated. He moved at a snail’s pace, hurting things. *¼

Chris Jericho vs. Randy Orton
Want to know why these two are fighting? Because Randy Orton attacked Chris Jericho two weeks prior simply because “it was the Season Premiere of Raw.” There went any interest I could have in this. Jericho sends Orton outside and throws him into the steel steps. You can blatantly see Jericho call spots here. Orton crotches Jericho up top, following with a superplex. He moves to a chinlock spot but after Jericho gets out, he moves to his beautiful powerslam. It’s seriously one of the best in wrestling history. Jericho comes back with a double axe handle but the crowd doesn’t really seem to care. Lionsault attempt misses right into Orton’s signature backbreaker. He does end up hitting the Lionsault right after, only for a near fall. The Walls of Jericho get blocked shortly before Orton goes for the punt. I liked commentary bringing up how Orton has done this to Jericho in the past, but he usually only busts it out for big feuds, which this is not. Jericho dodges and locks in the Walls of Jericho. Orton gets out but when he stalks for the RKO, Jericho nails the Codebreaker from out of nowhere for two. Out of desperation, Jericho goes up top and shouts for Orton to get up. As I suspected, it leads to a mid-air RKO that finishes this thing.

Winner: Randy Orton in 16:23
Technically, this was a good match. It was sound, went back and forth, had false finishes and entertained. The problem is that it was just there. The fact that there was no real rhyme or reason behind this makes it easily forgettable and meant that there wasn’t really a hot crowd. ***

The video package that we get for the upcoming Divas Championship match is really good and makes you really feel like it was Paige’s time to shine and get a good run with the belt. Byron Saxton interviews Brie Bella about the upcoming match. It’s not very good since Brie sucks on the mic.

WWE Divas Championship
Paige (c) vs. AJ Lee vs. Nikki Bella
With Paige and Nikki Bella being heels, they both go after AJ, but it fails. AJ sends Paige outside and takes down Nikki with a head scissors. Nikki shows off her power by swinging AJ around whilst in a sleeper. Paige comes back in as Nikki applies a decent looking armbar. She loves that move, but it’s odd as her finisher targets the back. They continue a trend of knocking one girl out while two others fight which is usual in most triple threat matches. Nikki was just starting to get comfortable as a heel, a role she would end up being really good in. Paige kicks her out of the ring before turning to AJ and caressing her. They were playing a near lesbian storyline at times. When AJ shoves her off, Paige gets aggressive with some headbutts. She takes AJ to the apron and just reels off knee strikes. Nikki now comes back as poor AJ is taking a beating. Nikki goes for a swinging slam but AJ counters into the Black Widow. Paige saves this by kicking both girls. Paige takes AJ up top for a superplex, so Nikki powerbombs her down in a cool tower of doom spot. Nikki takes out Paige with the aptly named Rack Attack before taking a SERIOUS back bump to the outside. AJ slams her from the apron and I give Nikki tons of props for taking that. AJ locks the Black Widow on Paige, who has countered it a bunch during their rivalry. She nearly does it here too, but AJ perseveres and Paige taps out.

Winner and New WWE Divas Champion: AJ Lee in 8:42
Outside of NXT, this was the WWE women’s match of the year. Something about AJ/Paige didn’t click the way I had hoped, but the addition of Nikki Bella was just what they needed. This never slowed and had the storytelling factor of the “frenemy” angle between AJ and Paige. The only real issue was that AJ won when she didn’t need to. The other two girls could have benefitted from it much more. ***¼

The month prior, Brock Lesnar won the WWE Title from John Cena in a dominating performance. In a 16 minute match, Cena got just over a minute of offense, was on the met for eleven minutes, Brock hit 69 strikes, 16 German suplexes and more.

WWE World Heavyweight Championship
Brock Lesnar (c) w/ Paul Heyman vs. John Cena
Brock Lesnar looks for a repeat of SummerSlam as she attacks John Cena instantly. He tries his first German but Cena blocks and hits the Attitude Adjustment. It only earns a one count though, giving the fans a quick false finish. Cena goes to attack, only to get put in the Kimura. Cena reaches the ropes, so Brock just starts to pummel him. As he hits the first German, he starts jumping around in classic Brock fashion. Cena fires away only to eat another German. He channels Eddie Guerrero with a trio of vertical suplexes. He just continues to punish Cena at every turn. Every single time Cena does something, Brock has an answer. Cena never gives up though, continuing to fight back through yet another German. Cena busts out his second AA from out of nowhere for a near fall. He then counters an F5 into the STF! Lesnar counters the poorly executed move into the Kimura but Cena doesn’t fade, getting to his feet with Brock to break it. Cena hits a third AA and goes right into the STF again. He reaches the ropes twice, only for Cena to pull him away each time. Brock won’t tap so Cena does a FOURTH AA only for Seth Rollins to appear and strike him with the Money in the Bank briefcase!

Winner via disqualification: John Cena in 14:21
While it’s not on the level of their SummerSlam match, this told a good story. John Cena was the resilient challenger that tried to do everything in his power to win. Brock is phenomenal in his current role, making this enjoyable. ***¾ 

Seth Rollins knocks John Cena out of the ring and plants Brock Lesnar with a fantastic Curb Stomp. Brock sells that far better than Cena ever does. Seth tries to cash in, only for Cena to cock block him and stop it from happening. Even Brock is upset at Cena being a dick and hits him with an F5.

Overall: 7.5/10; Very good. Here is an example of a show that was better than advertised. The build for most of these matches wasn’t great but for the most part, they delivered. Only one thing was under two stars and only the Intercontinental Title match was really disappointing. We got an entertaining main event, an old school tag opener, a damn good women’s match and a severely underrated, hard hitting bout between Sheamus and Cesaro that is must see. My next “Random Network Review” looks like it will be from the Old School Vault on 3/16/97!

Raw History: Episodes 23-24

Raw History

Episode #23

June 28th, 1993 – Mid-Hudson Civic Center in Poughkeepsie, New York – Attendance: 3,000

This episode was taped after last week’s live edition. Last week’s show was the best so far, so hopefully this one continues the trend.

WWF Intercontinental Championship

Shawn Michaels (c) w/ Diesel vs. Kamala

What in god’s name has Kamala done to earn a title shot? He doesn’t even know how to pin people correctly. Shawn Michaels is reluctant to lock up but the fans are still hot. Shawn is bumping for the Ugandan Giant but is caught in the bearhug, or the “move big guys who can’t work rely on”. Maybe it’s because he’s against a guy that he doesn’t enjoy working, but Shawn doesn’t seem too motivated here. Shawn works the knee, which Kamala sells pretty poorly. Kamala begins his version of an offensive comeback and still doesn’t know how to pin Shawn correctly. Diesel gets on the apron, which distracts Kamala. Shawn Superkicks him in the back of the head and retains. He should have done more to the back of the head in the future.

Winner and Still WWF Intercontinental Champion: Shawn Michaels in 8:51

Shawn Michaels can be pretty amazing, but even he can’t carry Kamala to something enjoyable. *

Kamala is up and goes after Shawn Michaels, so Diesel does his job and takes him out. Shawn hilariously plays the “Let me at him!”

Vince McMahon is in the ring to interview the reigning WWF Champion, Yokozuna. This should be riveting. The Yokozuna character is one of my least favorite because it runs the tired “evil foreigner” gimmick. The patriotism thing always sucks since A) its lazy booking and B) the WWF is a global company, so why condition your fans to cheer for someone because he loves America? Anyway, this segment blows because it’s so hard to understand Mr. Fuji. This is why Yokozuna segments got better when Jim Cornette was added. This is just promotion for the 4th of the July Body Slam Challenge. Also, Yokozuna speaks and sounds 100% Samoan.

We get a series of sports stars saying how they’re going to be the one to slam Yokozuna. Tatanka speaks last, because he just HAS to be on every single Raw.

The Smoking Guns vs. “Iron” Mike Sharpe and Barry Horowitz

Mike Sharpe and Barry Horowitz are two of the best jobbers in company history. Sharpe is so hilariously loud in the ring. Whether it’s selling, on offense or even just running the ropes. I can’t help but laugh. The Guns get in some basic stuff like arm drags and such. Horowitz actually gets in some offense after Bart misses a cross body and Barry does his back pat taunt. He gets two with a Northern lights suplex. The Guns have the balls to work a hot tag in an enhancement match. Billy comes in and they win with the Sidewinder.

Winners: The Smoking Guns in 4:30

I was shocked to see tag formula worked in an enhancement match. Teams like the Steiner Brothers don’t play that game and just murder jobbers. Extra points for Sharpe’s sound effects and Horowitz’s impressive suplex. *¼

Back to Vince McMahon in the ring, as he introduces Money Inc. Good lord, I have to hear IRS talk don’t I? IRS tries to play up how wise they are for getting a rematch clause in their contracts. The problem is, you aren’t that smart because everyone gets that. For some reason, they bring up Razor Ramon, or Razor Jabroni as IRS calls him. Ted Dibiase calls him stupid for losing his money. The fans chant “Razor” and this would lead to the Razor Ramon face turn that went over tremendously. I think that could work for anyone. Put him against IRS because nobody likes him.

Adam Bomb w/ Johnny Polo vs. BJ Walker

If you’ve been following this, then you know that PJ Walker is the future Justin Credible and Aldo Montoya. However, the Fink introduces him as BJ Walker and even his graphic says it. In another era, maybe the name BJ Walker would have gotten over. Bomb manhandles Walker, which still makes me question why Bomb wasn’t used better. He had a great look in an era full of fat slobs, could work better than other guys pushed ahead of him, like Crush and Yokozuna, and even had a mouthpiece in Polo. Bomb wins with his impressive slingshot clothesline and a powerbomb.

Winner: Adam Bomb in 2:10

A relatively fun squash. I enjoy watching Adam Bomb work and got a kick out of the BJ Walker name. *½

Bastion Booger vs. Crush

Remember the Friar Ferguson debacle? Well they dropped that and the best they could come up with was Bastion Booger. Google him if you don’t remember what he looked like. Macho Man believes that Crush will be the guy to slam Yokozuna. Crush tries a back body drop and it is the WORST I have ever seen. Seriously. Things go outside and Booger gets the upper hand with his entire offense, meaning clubs and punches. Because his offense is pitiful, commentary just discusses how bad he smells. Crush comes back with a suplex that looks like crap but is better than the back body drop earlier. He connects on three straight body slams to win as commentary goes nuts saying that could be Yokozuna on the 4th. It wasn’t.

Winner: Crush in 5:39

This sucked so hard. Bastion Booger is one of the worst ever and Crush wasn’t much better. Awful. DUD

Macho Man and NFL Player Joe Morris cut a promo in Giants Stadium about the 4th of July. Macho Man is incredible at promotion. His energy is unmatched. Next week, the 1-2-3 Kid will be in action as will Mr. Perfect.

Overall: 2.5/10; Bad. The poor fans in attendance went from last week’s awesome show to this albatross being recorded after. It did build towards the USS Intrepid stuff well, but the matches all sucked. Kamala had no business in the ring with HBK and the main event was one of the worst of all-time. The best thing was Adam Bomb and Mike Sharpe’s loud selling, so you know it was a rough show.

Raw History

Episode #24

July 5th, 1993 – Manhattan Center in Manhattan, New York – Attendance: 1,000

We open to footage aboard the U.S.S. Intrepid yesterday morning as multiple Superstars and athletes attempted to slam Yokozuna, only to fail. Seeing Rick Steiner fail was funny, since I’ve seen him German suplex Vader with ease before. Commentary welcomes us to the show before sending it back to the USS Intrepid. 

This looked to be incredibly boring as it was just a series of guys hugging Yokozuna. Crush comes close, fresh off of slamming Bastion Booger multiple times. Scott Steiner, Macho Man and tons of others all fail. When it seems all hope it lost, a helicopter arrives and it’s a now suddenly patriotic Lex Luger. What happened to the Narcissist? He comes in and slams Yokozuna, becoming our American hero. I’m sorry, but I don’t buy it. Also, before the slam, he uses the illegal steel plated forearm to his advantage. That damn heel.

The 1-2-3 Kid vs. Blake Beverly

Is this the start of a singles Blake Beverly run that I had no clue about? This would probably be the first time that I can see Kid as the favorite to win. Kid starts out lightning quick but works best as the resilient underdog and Blake powerslams him. Bobby Heenan calls Luger’s slam a hip toss, which is more accurate. Blake draws solid heat by slapping the Kid around outside. He hits a GREAT looking headbutt in the ring before press slamming Kid to the outside. He covers but lifts Kid, which is a bad move given Kid’s history. The crowd is totally buying a Kid comeback until he misses a cross body. Heenan claims that Kid looks like Todd Pettengill. Blake goes for an ugly dive outside but misses. Kid shows him hoes it’s done with a corkscrew plancha outside. This has been much better than expected as Blake hits a nice back suplex inside. He keeps mistaking himself for a high flyer and misses a splash. This allows Kid to hit a diving leg drop and score the 1-2-3.

Winner: The 1-2-3 Kid in 8:01

Well that far exceeded my expectations. Blake Beverly tossed him around and Kid’s bumps were excellent. The crowd was hot and bought every bit of it, which made this even better. ***¼

We go to our first ever vignette for Men on a Mission. Kill me now. Mabel sucked, Oscar was an awful rapper, but did the rapping and Mo is one of the worst wrestlers in history.

Bam Bam Bigelow w/ Luna Vachon vs. Joey Maggs

Luna Vachon is so terrifying. This is Bigelow’s first appearance since making the Finals of the King of the Ring Tournament. Bigelow is all over the jobber, splashing him multiple times and winning quickly.

Winner: Bam Bam Bigelow in 0:40

I know I said I would start rating squash matches, but this was far too short to give a score to. NO RATING

Samu w/ Afa vs. The Undertaker

Since having the urn stolen by Mr. Hughes, this is the first Undertaker sighting. Even then, Undertaker was such a spectacle. Undertaker actually attempts to leap frog over Samu but I guess Samu had no clue it was happening as he doesn’t get under and they botch it. Undertaker then does a drop toe hold. Hey, it’s the first shots of Undertaker being an actual wrestler. He even does a dropkick. It’s like he’s motivated to show that he can work since he’s embroiled in feuds with awful people like Giant Gonzalez and Mr. Hughes. Samu knocks Undertaker outside and he sits up before a commercial break. Returning, Samu is still throwing him around outside. He hits a sweet powerslam inside but Undertaker sits up out of the pin. The Deadman whips Samu into the corner twice and both times are hard. They play the “no urn” angle well as Samu hits a diving headbutt and Undertaker struggles to sit up. Samu goes to the well one too many times and he misses the second because Undertaker sits up. A Chokeslam and Tombstone finishes this off.

Winner: The Undertaker in 9:03

Way more competitive than I expected. The Undertaker gave Samu a fair amount, while still looking impressive. I also commend him for trying some new offense. **½

Vince McMahon interviews Yokozuna and Mr. Fuji at ringside. Why do they keep insisting on giving interview time to two people who you can barely understand? Why is he even champion in the first place? Vince is more pissed at the foreigners than the fans. Mr. Fuji offers an open contract for a title shot which brings out Crush. Good lord this promo is getting worse by the minute. He failed at the slam, screw his title shot, brudda. The match is made for next week. Hooray, brudda.

Mr. Perfect vs. Brian Costello

Brian Costello has a blonde mullet and a shamrock on the back of his trunks. He gets in nothing as Perfect dropkicks him outside quickly. He then lights him up with chops and wins with the Perfect Plex.

Winner: Mr. Perfect in 0:45

Perfect and Bigelow weren’t getting paid by the minute I guess. Too short to rate again. NO RATING

Overall: 7/10; Good. A bounce back episode for Raw. Yes, a lot of the time was given to the Lex Luger stuff but that’s fine. Blake Beverly and 1-2-3 Kid surprised me with a really good match, and the Undertaker and Samu impressed. Even the squash matches were kept incredibly short. The only real issue this week was the Yokozuna/Crush interview. And now I have to watch them actually work a match. Oh, brudda.