Tonight's show starts with highlights of Dario getting out of jail, the Famous B/Mascarita Sagrada angle and the Weapons of Mass Destruction match announcement.
We see footage that happened during Ultima Lucha Dos when Detective Ryan and Reyes are with their boss, listening to Dario murder Mr. Cisco. Reyes wants to bring in Dario but the boss has none of it (she was told not to pursue Dario last season). Ryan laughs and they get into a little choreographed fight scene but it doesn't get out of hand. She says this is more than just avenging Cisco. Reyes responds "that's Mr. Cisco."
Dr. Wagner Jr. w/ Famous B and Brenda def. Mascarita Sagrada in 0:54
Brenda is dressed like a nurse. Famous B stops Melissa Santos from announcing Wagner because she isn't famous enough. This stems from Famous B turning on his former client, Sagrada, and attacking him. They actually start with a normal match and Sagrada takes Wagner over. Wagner quickly recovers and wins with a Dr. Driver. Famous B uses a stethoscope to check on Sagrada because "he's dead".
Time for a video of the ancient Aztecs. At least, I think it is. A sick, seemingly dying man tells his daughter that a war must be fought. He gives her an amulet that only works on females and tells her that when she becomes a woman, it'll make her immortal and she won't age. Even if the war takes a thousand years, they must win the war. Her father then dies. The camera pans to the police captain, Vazquez, and she seems to have half of that amulet. Reyes arrives and she suspends him because he wants to just get Dario, while she wants to use him to get to someone even bigger.
Mil Muertes w/ Catrina def. Argenis in 1:33
This is funny since Argenis was one of the Disciples of Death. Argenis tries but Mil is in a foul mood. He launches him on a powerbomb, but Argenis comes back with a kick and moonsault. Mil kicks out at one and ends him with a spear and Flatliner.
After Catrina administers the lick of death, Prince Puma shows up. He attacks Mil Muertes and nails a missil dropkick that sends him outside. Puma hits a baseball slide and Catrina gets in between them, taking Mil to the back.
We see a clip of Dario Cueto arriving back at his office last week. Joey Ryan comes up to him and says that he knows Dario killed Cisco. He even admits that he's a cop, but wants to be on the right side of this war, so he offers himself up as a double agent. Joey says he did everything to keep Dario out of jail, unlike his idiot partner. He reveals that Cortez Castro is a cop too. Joey wants a deal because he has child support to pay, so Dario give him some cash.
Back to Captain Vasquez in present day. Reyes shows up and wants to be on her side of the war. She sends him back to the Temple and looks at her half of the amulet after he leaves.
Weapons of Mass Destruction Match: Killshot def. Marty "The Moth" Martinez in 22:21
No rules in this one and the ring is surrounded by military themed weapons. It looks like a giant boot camp set up. Marty comes out in complete military gear including camo face paint, a gun and Killshot's dog tags. Killshot attacks from behind during Marty's entrance and ends up busting Marty open in the first minute with a gun. Killshot kicks his head through a wall, but Marty just laughs. Marty takes Melissa Santos hostage and throws her into Killshot. He catches her and lets her go safely before chasing down Marty. Marty goes to the testicular claw, getting a "freaky bastard" chant. The big spots are here as Killshot delivers a 450 splash off the stands onto a standing Moth but was then German suplexed onto the apron a few minutes later. They move into beating the shit out of each other with ladders and chairs. Marty just nails every expression and totally gets his character. He hits a superplex onto some crates before taking a DVD onto a ladder. Marty returns with a powerbomb from inside to the outside through two tables. Note that there is a decent amount of recover time between these spots. Killshot brings out the biggest ladder of the match. It gets set up in the middle of the ring and a table is opened on either side. They fight up top and Mariposa comes out to stop Killshot. He kicks her down and she falls through a table. He grabs Marty's junk before laying in some brutal shots that send him down a few rungs. Killshot snatches his dog tags back and double stomps Marty off the ladder and through a table to win. Insane finish to an insane match. It was just big spots and brutality for the sake of it either. There were great storytelling bits like Mariposa coming into play and the poignant moment of Killshot getting his dog tags back. We got our first great match of the season. ****1/4
In the back, an angry Mil Muertes is beating up lockers. Catrina appears and tells him that he will soon get his hands on Prince Puma, he just has to be patient. She says that she has waited hundreds of years to get what she wants and we see that she has the other half of the amulet. Oh shit!
Overall: 8/10. Yes, the first two matches are barely even matches. I get that. But the one match we do get is a tremendous war that gave shine to two of the most underrated and overlooked members of the roster. The rest of the show did a great job in furthering angles and setting up the season with Puma/Muertes, the Famous B stuff, the war between Dario and Vazquez and introduced the amulet story.
If you do want to check out Lucha Underground, which you absolutely should, and don't get El Rey Network (like me), you can sign up for the streaming service Fubo.TV. It's a great way to support the company and channel while streaming the show online. You can sign up and get Lucha Underground right here with Fubo.tv!
Wednesday, September 14, 2016
NJPW Road to Destruction 9/12/16 Review
September 12th, 2016 | Korakuen Hall in Tokyo, Japan
With the three Destruction shows coming up over the next few weeks, it was time for NJPW World to air the one “Road to Destruction” event. For those unaware, these shows mostly use multi-man tags and things like that to build excitement for the bigger upcoming events.
The opening video package served as a reminder that I’m still not over the booking of the G1 Climax. On the upcoming 9/17 Destruction in Tokyo show, we are getting Katsuyori Shibata vs. Bobby Fish for the NEVER Openweight Championship and KUSHIDA vs. BUSHI for the IWGP Jr. Heavyweight Championship. Both of those matches sound rad.
On 9/22 in Hiroshima, the Briscoes face the Young Bucks to unify the IWGP Tag and Jr. Tag Titles. Boring. Adam Cole will also defend the ROH Title against Will Ospreay and Kazuchika Okada goes one on one with Bad Luck Fale. Wow, that all sounds uninteresting. Kenny Omega defends his Tokyo Dome title shot against the first guy to beat him in the G1, YOSHI-HASHI. Their G1 match ruled so that should be good at least.
Lastly, on 9/25 in Kobe, Satoshi Kojima, Ricochet and Matt Sydal defend the NEVER Openweight Six Man Titles against Dave Meltzer’s favorite team, Adam Cole and the Young Bucks. Tetsuya Naito also gets a shot at the Intercontinental Title in a G1 rematch against Michael Elgin. Though Naito deserves the top prize, the match should be excellent.
David Finlay def. Henare in 5:01
Henare is a new young lion. David Finlay seems to have graduated of sorts. He now has cheetah print gear and may have moved into the Juice Robinson/Cody Hall level of young lion. Henare is a heavyweight from New Zealand, which is where NJPW found Bad Luck Fale and Jay White. He seems to know what he’s doing somewhat as you could tell that he’s not completely new to wrestling. Finlay worked an aggressive style for most of the match. Henare applied the young lion crab, but Finlay reached the ropes. We saw Henare counter a cutter with a backslide, only to end up taking the cutter anyway and losing. Perfectly acceptable given what this was. Henare did alright and it’s great to see Finlay doing something more. **¼
Chase Owens and Yujiro Takahashi def. Captain New Japan and YOSHITATSU in 5:44
Wow. It’s as if someone dared Gedo to throw the four most uninteresting people on his roster into one match. Yoshi is still cosplaying as Triple H. The Bullet Club members attacked before the “hunters” could get into the ring. Yoshi has been growing frustrated with CNJ losing so often and it costing them in their hunt for the Bullet Club. This followed the same old formula. CNJ gets beat up, Yoshi gets a mild tag, CNJ still takes the pin. This time, it was after a DDT from Takahashi. Yoshi got fed up and asked the fans to vote on Twitter if he should kick CNJ out of the hunters group. Not interesting in the slightest, but props to Gedo for booking an actual angle here. ½*
Jushin Thunder Liger, Ryusuke Taguchi and TenKoji def. Chaos (Gedo, Roppongi Vice and Will Ospreay) in 7:28
TenKoji did their thing early on, which the crowd loved. I’ve really grown to like both of them after my first viewing of Tenzan was in his injury riddled 2015 G1 Climax. Beretta took the brunt of their offense. I may truly dislike Gedo as a booker, but he’s a lot of fun in the ring. His mockery of Kojima’s flurry of chop was priceless. Pretty much everyone came in and got their shine, including Will Ospreay, who a lot of people would expect to take it lightly due to injury concerns. His spots were fun before Taguchi made Romero tap to an ankle lock. I suspect Gedo didn’t take the fall since he has a Jr. Tag Title match coming up in NOAH. **¾
Great Bash Heel def. Manabu Nakanishi and Yuji Nagata in 8:23
There were two parts of this match that really stood out to me. First, Nagata and Honma just beat the shit out of each other in the middle of the ring, which is always a treat. Then, Nakanishi took to the skies for a cross body, complete with “superfly” hand gesture. When the match became Nakanishi working with Makabe, it was pretty rough. Nakanishi ended up applying the torture rack while Nagata had the armbar in, but neither man got the submission. In the end, the Kokeshi, followed by the King Kong Knee Drop ended it. Ho-hum match featuring four guys going through the motions. **¼
EVIL def. Juice Robinson in 10:58
This is one of the more interesting matches on this card. Can Juice hang with a guy that has had a really strong 2016? EVIL was aggressive from the start and did his signature chair spot outside. He wore down Juice, who then nailed a spinebuster and dropkicked him outside. Juice followed with a plancha to a nice hand from the audience. EVIL nearly got the win but Juice rocked him with a right hand and lariat. Juice also busted out a powerbomb and tried a diving headbutt, but missed. He still fired up only to get hit with the EVIL bomb for two. EVIL was done with his shit and won with the STO. Strong match and up there with the one against Go Shiozaki for best Juice match so far. Both guys looked good, it had a hot crowd and was fun. I like it. ***¼
reDRagon def. NEVER Openweight Champion Katsuyori Shibata and Tiger Mask IV in 10:16
I’ve long considered reDRagon the best tag team in wrestling, though the Revival have surpassed them in 2016. Bobby Fish is heading towards a NEVER Openweight Title shot, while O’Reilly actually beat Shibata at ROH’s Field of Honor event last month. Early on, we got standard tag stuff that didn’t wow anyone. I really enjoyed the interactions that Shibata had with reDRagon. His singles stuff against both guys should be good. Tiger Mask was kind of just there. He did hit a nice tombstone at one point though, so there’s that. It looked like reDRagon had it won but Shibata broke up the pin and started striking both of them. The numbers game overtook him, but he demanded more and more kicks until he couldn’t take it anymore. They took him out with Chasing the Dragon before nailing Tiger Mask with it and winning. Fun match that accomplished the goal of getting me excited for Fish/Shibata. ***¼
Chaos (Hirooki Goto, IWGP Heavyweight Champion Kazuchika Okada, Tomohiro Ishii and YOSHI-HASHI) def. The Bullet Club (Bad Luck Fale, The Guerillas of Destiny and Kenny Omega) in 14:24
Oh boy. I have to see Tanga Loa wrestle as well as look at Kenny Omega with the G1 briefcase. Sigh. Fale still tried to attack the ring announcer. YOSHI dyed her hair to be more blondish and it isn’t a good look. The Bullet Club attacked before the bell and sent Chaos outside. This followed standard multi-man tag formula. The heels did some stuff, the faces got a hot tag and they previewed Okada/Fale, YOSHI/Omega and Omega/Okada. GOD hit their finish on Ishii but he kicked out because they’re pretty bad. Okada body slammed Fale for a pop. Everyone kind of got their shit in until Ishii ended Loa with a brainbuster. Solid but NOWHERE NEAR the level of the string of Chaos vs. LIDJ matches earlier this year. **¾
Los Ingobernables de Japon (BUSHI, SANADA and Tetsuya Naito) def. Hiroshi Tanahashi, IWGP Jr. Heavyweight Champion KUSHIDA and IWGP Intercontinental Champion Michael Elgin in 16:04
It’s the best thing in NJPW, Tetsuya Naito. BUSHI did not come out with Naito and SANADA, as instead we got someone in a suit and Naito’s old mask. It was the same way that EVIL was revealed as a member of the group last year. We were to believe it was BUSHI at least. Elgin and Naito started out, giving a preview of their upcoming title match. Elgin even did Naito’s trademark taunt and pose. Tanahashi and SANADA got some interaction as well, which was cool since their G1 match ruled. The other LIDJ member attacked Tanahashi on the outside and KUSHIDA tried to unmask him, but failed. Elgin took to beating up Naito inside before the tag went to KUSHIDA. I still think that a Naito/KUSHIDA match would be awesome. KUSHIDA applied the Hoverboard Lock on Naito, but out came BUSHI casually strolling to the ring. He spit the mist at KUSHIDA, got the tag and hit the MX but Tanahashi broke up the pin. Pretty much everyone got some offense in and KUSHIDA fought valiantly but took a codebreaker, flipping Piledriver and a second MX to lose. Really good match that was the best part of the show. Elgin/Naito and BUSHI/KUSHIDA are rematches of dope pairings we got earlier in the year, so they should be among the best things on the Destruction shows. ***½
After the match, KUSHIDA took more of a beating and they continued to build the Destruction cards.
Overall: 6/10. I feel like this show was just about what you’d expect from a “Road to” event. The matches ranged from decent to really good (outside of the first two being lackluster) and it did the job of building towards the bigger upcoming events.
Tuesday, September 13, 2016
Fave Five 9/5/16-9/11/16
2) The Miz: I wanted to put Becky Lynch here, I really did, but recognition deserves to be given to the Miz. He's been really good for a long time now, but recently, he's kicked it up a notch. Not only has his Intercontinental Title run been a joy, but his in ring work is better than ever. Coming off of a promo that garnered a lot of buzz, I felt a match with Dolph Ziggler was a let down. Part of me was still right, but they delivered in a big way. It was easily their best match ever and Miz nailed everything he had to. He talked trash and played a masterful heel. He mocked Daniel Bryan's "Yes" taunt and even did some of Bryan's trademark submissions. He retained the title and needs to be given more credit consistently.
4) Heath Slater and Rhyno: Backlash was full of feel good moments, and another came in the Tag Title picture. The Usos bested the Hype Bros to get a spot in the finals. Heath Slater and Rhyno were highly entertaining all week long and even also beat the Hype Bros on Smackdown. A lot of people, myself included, though the newly heel Usos would win but Slater and Rhyno pulled it off to become the first Smackdown Tag Team Champions. Slater's post match promo was even better than them winning. He now earned a Smackdown contract and has been one of the best things about the brand split. I don't know if they'll hold the titles for long, but it is pretty great to enjoy for now.5) Zack Sabre Jr.: Advanced in the Cruiserweight Classic over Noam Dar before beating Johnny Gargano to take over as the "ace" of Evolve.
Monday, September 12, 2016
WWE Backlash Review
September 11th, 2016 | Richmond Coliseum in Richmond, Virginia
A late addition to the Kickoff show, Apollo Crews went one on one with Baron Corbin. I wish that they made the match mean something. Like have it be for a title shot or something. Even without that though, these two put on their best match together. They made good use of the 9:56 they got and showcased their skills. Things built up and progressively got better until Corbin won with the End of Days. (***)
Smackdown Women’s Championship: Becky Lynch def. Alexa Bliss, Carmella, Naomi, Natalya and Nikki Bella in 14:20
For the first time in history, a Women’s Title match opened a Pay-Per-View and they did well with it. Nikki sported Wonder Woman inspired gear, while Alexa looked amazing in a Harley Quinn getup. They had the mentality to try and steal the show. Despite having so many working parts, they moved at a fast paced and most things came off crisply. Each girl was given ample time to shine. We saw spots that had never been done on a main roster women’s match. Some girls busted out new moves, like Naomi using a damn cattle mutilation. She and Natalya combined for a Kidd and Cesaro like powerbomb/block buster combo to eliminate Alexa first. Natalya then made Naomi tap to the Sharpshooter. Nikki sent Natalya home with the Argentine backbreaker before Carmella rolled her up. Nikki slapped Carmella before leaving and then Carmella eventually tapped to the Dis-Arm-Her. This was really good. They hid whatever flaws the girls had well, set up Carmella/Nikki at No Mercy and gave the title to the girl who deserved it the most. Becky is the face of the Smackdown women and she’s deserved a run with any title since last year. ***½
Second Chance Challenge: The Usos def. The Hype Bros in 10:11
Though they had the same theme and tron, the Usos sported new gear and a sulky demeanor. Just know this…it worked. Everything they did felt fresh. They weren’t just splashes and superkicks. They had some shades of a lesser Revival by doing old school heel tactics. The Usos attacked a body part and cut the ring in half. Tag team wrestling is simple and when done right, almost always works. Ryder took the heat as the sympathetic babyface and this was probably the best I’ve seen from Mojo. His short bursts of fire were really good. The Usos won when Jimmy made Zack tap to a tequila sunrise. Solid tag team wrestling that was wisely booked. ***
Fantastic backstage stuff from Heath Slater and Rhyno. Basically Heath’s wife made bad crab cakes. I don’t want to go too deep into the comedy because it should be seen to be believed. Also, they cut to the Miz before the next match, as he badmouthed Daniel Bryan, to his face, for not being able to wrestle. He also said he wants to renegotiate his contract.
WWE Intercontinental Championship: The Miz (c) w/ Maryse def. Dolph Ziggler in 18:17
These two have wrestled about a thousand times over the past number of years. 2016 Dolph Ziggler is just very uninteresting, so I didn’t have very high hopes. Fortunately, they exceeded expectations. This wasn’t just the “let’s throw the two Ohio guys into a match” that most of their past has been. They told a story. Miz was more aggressive than usual, as if to prove something to Daniel Bryan. He took time to mock Bryan taunts and even use some of Bryan’s submissions like the surfboard and bow and arrow. Miz expertly nailed ALL of the little things like asking “who’s the coward” while stomping on Ziggler. Dolph was strong here too, portraying his desperation to turn his career around. He came close several times, but Maryse sprayed him in the face with something and it allowed Miz to retain with the Skull Crushing Finale. Not the best finish, but it played into the story of Miz still being a coward. Best Miz performance ever and he continues to be a highlight. ****
Earlier in the show, Bray Wyatt attacked Randy Orton. Orton has a legit injury and couldn’t compete. Bray came out for the forfeit victory but then found out that Orton had a replacement.
No Holds Barred: Kane def. Bray Wyatt in 10:55
Oh boy, not a single person gave a shit that Kane was involved in this Pay-Per-View. Luckily, these two did about as good with what they were given as possible. It felt like a house show no holds barred match, which was fine. They went from spot to spot and did their best to pop the crowd. The highlight was Bray’s BIG BOY SENTON through the announce table. Eventually, Randy Orton limped out and hit Wyatt with the RKO to give Kane the win. I get that Orton got involved, but there is no excuse for putting Kane over Bray here. He is in desperate need of wins and I can’t take him seriously against Orton if he can’t even beat Kane. Why not just have Bray beat Kane and then do the Orton attack? This was about as good as it could have been, despite the horrible booking. **½
Smackdown Tag Team Championship Tournament Finals: Heath Slater and Rhyno def. The Usos in 10:02
Like the earlier tag team match, the Usos were just great here. They continued to look rejuvenated by the heel turn and worked Heath Slater over. Literally, a good seven or eight minutes of this match just saw them cut the tag off at every turn. Again, tag team wrestling is simple. It’s about depravation and they certainly deprived Slater and the fans of the hot tag. Once it finally came, it got the appropriate response. However, for the first time, Slater had to kind of pick up Rhyno for a bit because he missed the Gore and Slater came in hot. The Usos broke up his pin, but Rhyno came back in with a Gore and placed Slater in pin position to become champions. Just good old fashioned tag team wrestling with a satisfying babyface win. Heath’s post-match promo, which included “WE GETTING A DOUBLE WIDE BAY-BAY”, was excellent. ***¼
WWE World Championship: AJ Styles def. Dean Ambrose (c) in 24:56
I knew this was going to be good. They still blew away my expectations. This felt like a big title fight in a way that a lot of matches don’t. Similar to what they did with the John Cena matches, AJ Styles had the advantage in the early exchanges and it made him even cockier. AJ’s trash talk continues to be a highlight of his matches. There were some scary moments on a super back suplex spot and AJ taking a huge bump into the post on an apron slingshot. Both guys busted out the big spots, like AJ’s springboard 450 splash (for a fantastic near fall) and Dean’s big elbow into the crowd. The final few minutes of this were some of the best action in the WWE all year long. Styles nailed the Pele, but Dean answered with an awesome jawbreaker lariat. AJ worked the leg and it led to some really good Calf Crusher teases. Dean’s selling of the knee could have been better but that’s probably my only issue with the match. They did a slight ref bump, which allowed AJ to kick Dean low and win the title with the Styles Clash. Some people didn’t like the finish, but I did since it played into the story they’ve leading up to the match. It also fit AJ’s character, because he was the better man throughout but Dean wouldn’t stay down and AJ has no problem cheating if he has to. The best WWE PPV main event all year. ****½
Overall: 8.5/10. Man, this show delivered. For all the talk about Smackdown having a weak roster after the draft, they produce on a weekly basis and this was their best work yet. The Kickoff match was a nice surprise. The Women’s Title match was better than expected and gave us the feel good moment of Becky winning the title. We saw a rejuvenated Usos and got treated to two good tag team matches. Miz and Ziggler had their best match ever by a mile. Hell, even Bray and Kane didn’t suck. Add in the excellent main event and the fact that the show ended with AJ Styles as WWE Champion and this is an easy winner.
Sunday, September 11, 2016
Backlash Predictions
The Usos vs. The Hype Bros
The American Alpha/Usos angle on Smackdown was done so well. The Usos turning heel and taking them out is going to build massive amounts of sympathy for Alpha when they return. You also have the added bonus of them having a claim to possibly being the rightful champions. This is all Usos, all the way. They need something to rejuvenate their careers and this could be the shot in the arm that does it.
Winner: The Usos
I want to be more excited for this, I really do. When Bray Wyatt first started making an impact in the WWE, I hoped for a program with Randy Orton and felt like it could be really good. Here we are getting it, but Bray has been damaged to a point where I cannot find any interest in him. Orton was cool during the Brock feud, but has started to fall back into his same pattern of lackluster effort. This is Bray Wyatt that we're talking about, so I could see him win the first match before losing the feud. Instead though, I feel like he'll lose the first one and maybe, just maybe, win the rivalry.
Winner: Randy Orton
The current payoff for Miz's blistering promo on Daniel Bryan is a been there, done that feud with Dolph Ziggler. Dolph has only been interesting for about three weeks (leading up to SummerSlam) in the past two years. Their matches are usually pretty good, but never resemble anything great. I'm picking a lot of heels to win, so I know I will be wrong at some point and that may be right here. Still, I say Miz retains to further push Dolph's anger and disappointment. Miz has been damn good as champion too.
Winner: The Miz
The Heath Slater storyline has been one of many highlights on Smackdown each week. This is why American Alpha not being in the finals makes sense. The crowd wants to see Heath get his job, so they may have been split. A 50/50 crowd for the first title win of your top babyface team isn't ideal. Have the Usos win the titles after backing their way into the finals. They cost Heath his job, delivering another blow to the fans and setting up a program with American Alpha down the line.
Winners: The Usos
Outside of the main event, this is the match I'm looking forward to the most. The Raw women's division has the top girls (Sasha, Bayley, Charlotte) but the rest of the division is barely around. Smackdown has wisely built up six girls to be on just about equal footing. Hell, they've even given Eva Marie character development. Anyway, this match can go almost any possible way. Naomi has been on the cusp of winning the belt a few times, Natalya is a veteran that could help establish the title and Alexa and Carmella are two fresh heels for a babyface to chase. The two biggest options though are Nikki Bella and Becky Lynch. Nikki is their marketable girl thanks to Total Divas and Total Bellas, while Becky is the ultimate babyface. I say they go with Becky because she needs to stop chasing and finally win.
Winner: Becky Lynch
Go ahead and try telling me in 2010 that a WWE PPV in 2016 would have a WWE Title match featuring Jon Moxley and AJ Styles. The same goes for the Clash of Champions main event. Anyway, this is a tough call. On the one hand, Dean Ambrose is less than three months in a title reign that he clawed his way to. He had to overcome several missed opportunities and the company throwing momentum stoppers in his way (Wyatt, shitty WM31 IC Title stuff, Lesnar) to get to this point and I don't want to see it end. But, AJ Styles is the hottest thing the company and absolutely deserves to be champion. He's lost two Title matches to Roman Reigns already this year and I think it should happen here. Part of me sees Dean retaining and AJ winning the rematch at No Mercy, but I think they're gonna strike while the iron is hot.
Winner: AJ Styles
2016 Prediction Record: 43-24
2015 Prediction Record: 60-35
The American Alpha/Usos angle on Smackdown was done so well. The Usos turning heel and taking them out is going to build massive amounts of sympathy for Alpha when they return. You also have the added bonus of them having a claim to possibly being the rightful champions. This is all Usos, all the way. They need something to rejuvenate their careers and this could be the shot in the arm that does it.
Winner: The Usos
I want to be more excited for this, I really do. When Bray Wyatt first started making an impact in the WWE, I hoped for a program with Randy Orton and felt like it could be really good. Here we are getting it, but Bray has been damaged to a point where I cannot find any interest in him. Orton was cool during the Brock feud, but has started to fall back into his same pattern of lackluster effort. This is Bray Wyatt that we're talking about, so I could see him win the first match before losing the feud. Instead though, I feel like he'll lose the first one and maybe, just maybe, win the rivalry.
Winner: Randy Orton
The current payoff for Miz's blistering promo on Daniel Bryan is a been there, done that feud with Dolph Ziggler. Dolph has only been interesting for about three weeks (leading up to SummerSlam) in the past two years. Their matches are usually pretty good, but never resemble anything great. I'm picking a lot of heels to win, so I know I will be wrong at some point and that may be right here. Still, I say Miz retains to further push Dolph's anger and disappointment. Miz has been damn good as champion too.
Winner: The Miz
The Heath Slater storyline has been one of many highlights on Smackdown each week. This is why American Alpha not being in the finals makes sense. The crowd wants to see Heath get his job, so they may have been split. A 50/50 crowd for the first title win of your top babyface team isn't ideal. Have the Usos win the titles after backing their way into the finals. They cost Heath his job, delivering another blow to the fans and setting up a program with American Alpha down the line.
Winners: The Usos
Outside of the main event, this is the match I'm looking forward to the most. The Raw women's division has the top girls (Sasha, Bayley, Charlotte) but the rest of the division is barely around. Smackdown has wisely built up six girls to be on just about equal footing. Hell, they've even given Eva Marie character development. Anyway, this match can go almost any possible way. Naomi has been on the cusp of winning the belt a few times, Natalya is a veteran that could help establish the title and Alexa and Carmella are two fresh heels for a babyface to chase. The two biggest options though are Nikki Bella and Becky Lynch. Nikki is their marketable girl thanks to Total Divas and Total Bellas, while Becky is the ultimate babyface. I say they go with Becky because she needs to stop chasing and finally win.
Winner: Becky Lynch
Go ahead and try telling me in 2010 that a WWE PPV in 2016 would have a WWE Title match featuring Jon Moxley and AJ Styles. The same goes for the Clash of Champions main event. Anyway, this is a tough call. On the one hand, Dean Ambrose is less than three months in a title reign that he clawed his way to. He had to overcome several missed opportunities and the company throwing momentum stoppers in his way (Wyatt, shitty WM31 IC Title stuff, Lesnar) to get to this point and I don't want to see it end. But, AJ Styles is the hottest thing the company and absolutely deserves to be champion. He's lost two Title matches to Roman Reigns already this year and I think it should happen here. Part of me sees Dean retaining and AJ winning the rematch at No Mercy, but I think they're gonna strike while the iron is hot.
Winner: AJ Styles
2016 Prediction Record: 43-24
2015 Prediction Record: 60-35
Friday, September 9, 2016
Raw History: Episodes #49-51
Episode #49
January 24th, 1994 | Richmond Coliseum in Richmond, Virginia
The Royal Rumble was the night before but this is a taped episode. I hate that. Nothing significant will probably happen here. Commentary will be Vince McMahon and Jim Ross. Here are the Rumble results.
Tatanka def. Bigelow (replacement for Ludvig Borga)
The Quebecers def. Bret Hart and Owen Hart (Bret tried to fight valiantly but didn’t tag in Owen, causing Owen to turn on him and kick his leg out from under his leg. Yes, that’s how Owen says it in his promo)
Razor Ramon def. IRS to keep the IC Title
Yokozuna def. Undertaker to keep the WWF Title (one of the most absurd things you’ll ever see. Go watch this train wreck. Undertaker would take time off until SummerSlam)
Bret Hart and Lex Luger co-won the Royal Rumble
Lex Luger vs. Austin Steele
Austin Steele looks like a knockoff Buddy Landell. He gets in a few shots, but this is mostly Lex Luger. Unfortunately, most of the things that Luger does are pretty boring. He hits a powerslam before winning with a second rope suplex. Was that seriously one of his finishers?
Winner: Lex Luger in 3:31
Man, Lex Luger is not really fun to watch is he? Bland stuff here. ½*
Todd Pettengill brings us the Royal Rumble Report. He recaps all of the stuff I wrote about in the beginning of this review.
Jeff Jarrett vs. John Paul
Man, poor John Paul got the most generic of jobber names didn’t he? Jeff Jarrett once again is sporting some ridiculous attire. Jarrett goes through his stuff, complete with jaw jacking but it almost costs him as Paul rolls him up multiple times. To win, Jarrett pulls the tights.
Winner: Jeff Jarrett in 4:11
Another standard squash from Jeff Jarrett, but it’s funny that he had to hold the tights. ¾*
Next week, the 1-2-3 Kid faces Johnny Polo!
The Headshrinkers w/ Afa vs. Men on a Mission w/ Oscar
This was supposed to be the Headshrinkers vs. Owen and Bret but the Harts had a falling out at the Rumble. Well, talk about getting terrible replacements. It sucks because they advertised that on a show that was pre-recorded. You knew the split was coming and that this was the match we would get you bastards. After beating up the useless Mo for a bit, Mabel gets tagged and Samu wants no part of tagging out. For some reason, this goes to a commercial break while Mo is the face in peril. He’s not particularly good at it but he has to by default. Mabel eventually gets the relatively hot tag and does some of his plodding offense. It’s hilarious to see the crowd looking like they’re sitting on their hands while piped in crowd noise goes wild. Mo tags back in like an idiot and eats a superkick and splash to end it.
Winners: The Headshrinkers in 10:48
Why did Men on a Mission get the eventual Tag Title shot at WrestleMania? Anyway, this was slow and plodding and more disappointing since I was advertised what I’m sure was going to be a better match.*
Adam Bomb w/ Harvey Wippleman vs. Tommy Angel
Yea, this is all Adam Bomb outside of two dropkicks. He nails a dropkick of his own, a clothesline and the power bomb.
Winner: Adam Bomb in 3:07
Typical Adam Bomb squash. He gets in his power and a bit of his athletic stuff. ¾*
A Thurman Plugg vignette is shown again.
Doink vs. Joey Stallings
Dammit. I hate watching Doink when it’s not the originator. Dink has an invisible dog that attacks Joey before the match. Wow. Doink hits his stuff and wins with the Whoopee Cushion.
Winner: Doink in 3:26
Man, this episode has really lacked hasn’t it? Another ho-hum match. ½*
Shawn Michaels w/ Diesel vs. Tyrone Knox
Can Shawn Michaels save this dire episode? Shawn works over Knox and we nearly see Diesel get in a cheap shot but he decides that Knox isn’t worth it. Hilariously, Vince McMahon says that there were rumors that the CBS was going to have the WWF replace the NFL. Not even at the height of the WWF’s popularity would that have been a good move for CBS.
Winner: Shawn Michaels in N/A (stopwatch issues)
Nope, Shawn Michaels could not save this, although this was the most entertaining match of the night. *¼
Overall: 1.5/10. This show was horrible. Partially because it was recorded before the Royal Rumble and nothing of note could happen, but also because there was little to no effort in the actual stuff. Squash matches and a piss poor marquee match with no angle advancement makes for a bad episode.
Raw History
Episode #50
January 31st, 1994 | Fernwood Resort in Bushkill, Pennsylvania
Hey, we’re live! Commentary is Vince McMahon and IRS.
Marty Jannetty vs. Johnny Polo
A rematch of a good match from a few weeks ago. It was supposed to be the 1-2-3 Kid, but he’s hurt and joins commentary. Polo talks trash before the bell so Marty trips him up and ties his feet together in the microphone wire. Wow, remember when there were actually cords to microphones? Marty is in control until the commercial break where we return in the midst of a Polo chinlock. Look at these guys using the commercial break correctly. Polo does well at getting in all of the usual heel tactics. Things have slowed and gone downhill rather quickly as this is nowhere near as fun as the match a few weeks back. Marty wins with the Rocker Dropper.
Winner: Marty Jannetty in 9:33
This got off to a fun start, but really slowed as time went on. It’s like, they went from having a good time a few weeks ago, to just trying to bore us this time around. **
IRS is a dick on commentary, so 1-2-3 Kid gets on him for stealing Razor Ramon’s chain. IRS hits him and Jannetty makes the save. Kid escapes with IRS’ briefcase. After a commercial, IRS goes to chase them down but Razor appears with his chain and IRS backs away like that gives Razor special powers or something.
We go to JACK TUNNEY! He’s discussing the controversial ending to the 1994 Royal Rumble. Tunney says that both Bret Hart and Lex Luger will get title shots at WrestleMania. There will be a coin toss. If Luger wins, he gets the first shot and Bret faces Owen. Bret would then face the winner of the title match. If Bret wins, he gets the first shot and Luger faces Crush before getting his shot. How are Crush and Owen Hart on the same level?
Bam Bam Bigelow w/ Luna Vachon vs. Miguel Rosado
During this match, IRS challenges Marty Jannetty to a match next week. Somehow, Bigelow is in far better shape than his opponent. Rosado is just flabby and has a massive gut. Bigelow shouts that he wants Doink as he just pulverizes Rosado.
Winner: Bam Bam Bigelow in 2:11
All Bigelow and that’s a good thing. It was short, which is what I want from an imposing guy like him. *
Vince McMahon, Jack Tunney and a bunch of those douchebag “yes men” are in the ring for the coin toss. Lex Luger and Bret Hart come out, with the latter getting a significantly better reaction. Luger wins the coin toss, saving us from Crush vs. Lex and giving us Bret vs. Owen.
Kwang w/ Harvey Wippleman vs. Rich Myers
Who thought that people would buy Kwang as a threat? He looks like a good trying terrible martial arts. His “martial arts” only bests what we saw from Crush. Owen Hart is the best thing about this when he calls in and runs down Bret hart. Kwang finishes with a superkick.
Winner: Kwang in 3:21
Another squash that wasn’t interesting, but at least it was relatively short. About as good a debut as you could expect for someone like Kwang. ¾*
Time for Todd Pettengill and the WrestleMania Report! He goes over the stuff we already know like Luger vs. Yokozuna, Bret vs. Owen and Bret vs. the winner of the Luger/Yokozuna match.
We are taken to a “Special Look” at the Undertaker. It’s Paul Bearer in a graveyard talking about how the Undertaker would never rest in peace, so he isn’t gone. Can it be considered a look at someone if he isn’t shown?
Earthquake vs. Cory Student
Vince McMahon says there’s going to be a big ovation because Earthquake is back. The fans almost give no reaction. As Earthquake plods through his offense, we get word that Jannetty has accepted IRS’ challenge. He then hits the earthquake ass splash and wins.
Winner: Earthquake in 3:18
Earthquake’s return would be the first in a line of guys way past their prime and usefulness getting brought back to the company. It wasn’t good at any point. ¼*
Marty Jannetty and Razor Ramon are interviewed about next week. Goodness, Marty stumbles through this and looks blasted out of his mind.
Overall: 3.5/10. Better than last week but that isn’t saying much. The marquee match was disappointing and the squashes were kind of just there. Still, there was some decent forward movement towards WrestleMania, which is important.
Raw History
Episode #51
February 7th, 1994 | Fernwood Resort in Bushkill, Pennsylvania
Oh goodness, Vince McMahon’s broadcast partner this week is Bastion Booger.
The Smoking Guns vs. Barry Horowitz and Reno Riggins
Hey, it’s two decent jobbers. They actually start by doing well until Bart cross bodies in, despite not being tagged. Come on, Bill Alfonso, you need to be a better official. Vince informs us that the Steiner Brothers were unable to beat the Quebecers in a 10 minute challenge on Superstars. The Steiners would be on their way out of the company and I doubt we’ll see them again on Raw. The Guns use the default WWE 2K series double team move of a drop toe hold/elbow drop combination. Guns win after the Sidewinder.
Winners: The Smoking Guns in 3:39
Pretty fine stuff here. Horowitz and Riggins are solid hands for jobbers so this was decent. *
A clip is shown of Owen Hart on All-American Wrestling where he talks about how good it felt to kick his brother at the Royal Rumble. Bret also speaks, saying that while he never wanted to fight his brother, he has to.
Owen Hart vs. John Paul
Bastion Booger: I don’t trust this John Paul guy, I never trust a guy with two first names. He’s not wrong. Owen gets his stuff in, keeping it about as entertaining as you’d expect, finishing with the Sharpshooter.
Winner: Owen Hart in 3:36
Another squash for Owen that comes off better than the squashes by other guys. *¼
We get another Paul Bearer graveyard promo about the Undertaker.
IRS vs. Marty Jannetty
In typical IRS fashion, the match is dull. That is until Jannetty SUPER over bumps on a whip into the ring post. How is IRS so sweaty? The match is like 1:20 in. The Quebecers show up just before the commercial break but are ejected by the time the show returns. We see why as they attacked Jannetty. IRS is in control, going through the motions of his boring offense. Johnny Polo shows up as Jannetty rallies, followed by Razor Ramon, followed by the Quebecers. Who is overbooking this? Why are the Quebecers allowed back out? They telegraph the hell out of the finish as Polo trips Jannetty on a springboard, allowing IRS to pin him.
Winner: IRS in 8:54
Dammit, I’ve still yet to see an interesting IRS singles match. Jannetty wasn’t at his best here, which means that IRS was in total control of calling things and that is bad news. *½
Vince McMahon tells us that Razor Ramon and Marty Jannetty have demanded and been granted a Tag Team Title shot in two weeks on Raw. Next week is pre-empted by the dog show.
Thurman Plugg vs. Duane Gill
Oh look, it’s future J.O.B. Squad teammates. Vince calls “Sparky” an “electric performer” but he does relatively basic stuff here. His gear is only second to Jeff Jarrett for worst in the company currently. Plugg wins with a flying knee drop.
Winner: Thurman Plugg in 2:58
He was there, he did his stuff and the crowd didn’t care. ½*
Todd Pettengill brings us the WrestleMania Report, featuring the announcement of Crush vs. Randy Savage in a Falls Count Anywhere match.
Crush w/ Mr. Fuji vs. Thornberg
I didn’t catch the first name of the jobber. Crush gets in all of the offense, hitting a bad martial arts kick and winning with the CLAW!
Winner: Crush in 2:34
It’s Crush so you know it isn’t good. At least it was short though. ½*
Overall: 3.5/10. This was such a bad crop of episodes, with none of them being any good. This one was “highlighted” by a boring marquee match and some dull squashes, though I did not hate the first two matches.
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