WrestleMania 33 Predictions

It's kind of telling of the WWE when they have over ten matches on the card yet still can't find a proper place for guys like Sami Zayn and Braun Strowman. They feel like the only two potential winners to be honest, though Samoa Joe and Luke Harper would be good choices if they officially get added. I'll go with Braun but Sami will come close.

Winner: Braun Strowman

Of all the matches on the card, only about four interest me. This is one of them. Despite the CWC being a success, nobody from the tournament is featured in the WrestleMania Cruiserweight Title match. That's a good thing though because most of them have flopped. Austin Aries and Neville feel like the two biggest stars of the division. They might not get ten minutes but if they do, they have potential to steal the entire show. It is the best Cruiserweight Title match so far on paper and has the best chance of being the first great one since it returned. The title switches often, so I'm going with Aries.

Winner: Austin Aries

I'm not a big fan of a clusterfuck match for the Smackdown women but if it stays as a Six Pack Challenge, it should be good. If they go the rumored route and add Emma, Summer Rae or (the awful) Kelly Kelly, it will be bad. I think most of these women deserve a spot at Mania. If I was booking, I'd probably put the title on Carmella or even back to Becky in a feel good moment. However, they seem hellbent on a Naomi title run, so I'll predict that.

Winner: Naomi

I'm so happy we're finally getting an Intercontinental Title singles match at WrestleMania. I'm also happy Baron Corbin gets Mania shine and Dean Ambrose gets a real singles match unlike last year when Brock Lesnar gave him no effort. This feud has been great but I wish we got a no DQ match or something like that. Part of me thinks Corbin should win but I think Ambrose retains. Then Baron takes the title from him in a specialty match at Backlash.

Winner: Dean Ambrose

Making this a ladder match gives me SOME hope for it. The Raw Tag Title scene has been kind of a mess like the Raw Women's Title picture. Gallows and Anderson feel like jokes, Cesaro and Sheamus got a short run and Enzo and Cass have been all over the place. Still, making this a ladder match means it should be, at the very least, fun. I think the Club leave with the titles before a feud with the returning Hardys.

Winners: Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson

I wanted so much more for The Miz at WrestleMania. Since last year's show, Miz has been one of the company's MVPs. John Cena has delivered when around too, so I didn't love the idea of this mixed tag. Kudos to them though for making the buildup intriguing and full of entertaining promos. This is one of the easiest matches to predict. There's no way Cena and Nikki don't win. The real prediction is whether or not Cena proposes after the match. I say he does and Nikki possibly retires.

Winners: John Cena and Nikki Bella

A year or two ago, if someone told me I wouldn't give a shit about a WrestleMania match involving Sasha Banks and Bayley, I would've thought you were on drugs. Leave it to Raw though to completely fumble this. Babyface Sasha Banks has been a mistake and Charlotte has been totally boring but Bayley is the real issue. Her story is so easy to tell but instead of doing it, they gave her a title win on Raw (which we'd seen with Sasha already) and then spent the next few weeks having her lose and get called a paper champion. The right thing to do would be to have her win and solidify that she's not a paper champion. Nia winning would be okay with me. However, even though she lost last month and it doesn't make sense for her to win, I don't bet against Charlotte. I expect more painfully awful stuff from her.

Winner: Bayley

Similar to the IC Title match, I'm happy we're getting a legitimate match for this title. Not just that, but it has actual build and should be the culmination of a long story. That's all I ask for going into Mania. Chris Jericho's odd at Mania because, for as great as he is, he's mostly had good but not great (except HBK at WM XIX) matches there. The ones with Christian, Triple H, AJ Styles, etc. all cap out at good to me. He loves Kevin Owens though, so I think he'll bring his A game. Owens should win this one.

Winner: Kevin Owens

Like many others, I wanted something more for AJ Styles. Personally, I'd have saved Styles/Cena III for WrestleMania. My main concern is that Shane McMahon is at his best when he's working a crazy match and does a big spot. With this being a traditional match, I can't see Shane getting to shine. One thing helps him. He'll be in there with the best wrestler in the world. If anyone can help Shane McMahon to a good traditional contest, it's AJ Styles. Also, he needs to win.

Winner: AJ Styles

I've been kind of over the Undertaker for a while. Especially once the streak ended. This match doesn't intrigue me at all. I don't know what their plan is. If they want Undertaker to pass the torch, they better be ready for Reigns to celebrate to a ton of heat. I'd have Undertaker win, since Reigns won't be hurt by it and if they want to turn him heel or something, have him kick Undertaker in the dick or something. Either way, like Charlotte, I never bet against the Big Dog.

Winner: Big Dog Gotta Eat

This had potential to be the best built match on the show but Seth Rollins' injury hurt things. Also, having it drawn out since August with little to no traction and Triple H never explaining why he gave up on Seth (who had only lost to Dean Ambrose and Finn Balor up to that point) means it doesn't have the juice it should. If Seth is healthy, the non-sanctioned aspect could make this the best match on the card. It's Triple H, who seems to go over on odd number Manias when he shouldn't (see Sting at 31, Lesnar at 29, Orton at 25, Booker at 19), so he could win but I believe Seth takes it.

Winner: Seth Rollins

I really wish they never went the "I was never truly in the Wyatt Family" route with Randy Orton. It was, hands down, the most interesting he's been in ages. They should've just had the WWE Title come between them. A torn Orton who wants to remain loyal but also wants the title would've made for excellent television. Anyway, Bray should retain and continue to be solidified now that he has the title. This is the WWE though. I see Orton winning and Bray falling back into his role of doing lots of nothing until stepping up to job to a bigger star.

Winner: Randy Orton

Fuck this. I'm not watching this match.

Winner: Brock Lesnar but I don't care

2017 Prediction Record: 12-11
2016 Prediction Record: 65-37

NXT TakeOver: Orlando Predictions

This is rather tough to call because it could really go either way. SAnitY could win to keep their momentum, but they've won most of their matches thus far and it could be time for the faces to overcome. I like the addition of Ruby Riot. She was very good on the indies and a feud with Nikki Cross could be great. I think the faces take it here but this feud will not end here, even if Tye Dillinger gets called up.

Winners: Tye Dillinger, No Way Jose, Roderick Strong and Ruby Riot

I like Aleister Black. I dug him as Tommy End and he was cool when I saw him at NXT Cleveland a few weeks back. However, Andrade Almas JUST started being awesome. He needed the heel turn and lifting some of his old Los Ingobernables antics has greatly helped. Unfortunately, he looks like he's going to take the old Tyler Breeze route of being used to put over new guys. Breeze did it for Itami, Balor and Crews. Almas has done it for Roode, Strong and now Black.

Winner: Aleister Black

This should be the best match on the card by quite some margin. The Revival are, hands down, the best tag team on the planet. DIY is probably second and the Authors of Pain have shown that with the right opponents, they can deliver. I'm not sure how the elimination stipulation will impact the match but regardless, it should rule. I don't think DIY get the titles back and I can only assume the Revival are getting called up soon. Or at least they should. A win for the Authors over the top two teams of the past six months in NXT would be big for them.

Winners: Authors of Pain

Considering Asuka debuted in October 2015 and is undefeated since, while also coming up on about a year as champion, you'd think this would be the opportune time to have her drop the title. Unfortunately, NXT hasn't developed anyone enough to even feel like they're in Asuka's league. Ember Moon is good, don't get me wrong, but I have no reason to care about her. She's just the girl with cool eyes. Personally, I'd have booked Niki Cross against Asuka here. If not, I'd have Asuka retain. I'm not booking though. I say Ember wins so she can get a huge moment under her belt but I don't think it'll be enough to make her stand out.

Winner: Ember Moon

The NXT Title picture just bores me. It has since the Owens/Balor rivalry in 2015. Balor/Joe, Joe/Nakamura and Nakamura/Roode have underwhelmed. Actually, Nakamura has underwhelmed since the Sami Zayn match. Still, I think the outcome here should be clear. Bobby Roode is a fun champion and Nakamura shouldn't be in NXT anymore. Have Roode retain and Nakamura debut the night after WrestleMania.

Winner: Bobby Roode

Evolve 80 Review

Evolve 80
March 30th, 2017 | Orlando Downtown Recreation Complex in Orlando, Florida

WrestleMania weekend officially kicks off with Evolve 80! Quick note, the venue looked awesome and was one of the best Evolve has ever run in.

To start the show, Drew Galloway was in the ring and steals the microphone from Lenny Leonard. He only trusted himself to set the tone for this big event. He put over the company and called this Wrestling Week, not WrestleMania Week. He called out Matt Riddle for their match.

Drew Galloway vs. Matt Riddle
Galloway opened things with a headbutt and they went to war from there. Riddle brought strikes, but Galloway overpowered him. He hit an impressive slam on the apron but also took a Bro to Sleep outside. A table was brought into play and Galloway delivered a piledriver off the apron through it. That felt like the end but Galloway wasn’t done. He put an exclamation point with the Future Shock inside and ANOTHER piledriver to end it at 7:15. That was shorter than I expected, but it worked for what they were going for. Galloway looks like a BEAST going into the WWN Title match this weekend. This was intense and I dug it. [***¼]

Drew Galloway looked to continue the assault but Chris Dickinson and Jaka ran out for the save.

Chris Dickinson vs. Timothy Thatcher w/ Stokely Hathaway
Timothy Thatcher goes from almost two years as Evolve Champion to the second match. His performances in the past year fit the card placement. I’m also not big on Dickinson, so my hopes weren’t high coming into this. They worked the mat early, with Dickinson, as always, playing the aggressor. It was typical Thatcher stuff. Outside of the Zack Sabre Jr. match last month, he’s had almost non-stop dull, lifeless matches. The highlight was probably Dickinson curb stomping him. In the end, Thatcher fought off a powerbomb, hit a kick and won with a submission at 9:16. Like I said, nothing special and rather lifeless. [**¼]

Jaka vs. Jason Kincaid vs. Lio Rush
This was scheduled to be a singles match, but it was announced that Lio Rush didn’t want to wait until scheduled return tomorrow and it was made into a three way. Rush and Kincaid had a fun exchange early until Jaka showed the power and ran him over. Jaka kept dumping Rush out of the ring. I’m not a fan of the tired trope where one guy gets thrown out to make these matches a series of one on one encounters. When all three were involved, the match was at its best. Rush nearly killed Kincaid with a kick and a reverse rana. Kincaid did a dangerous double super rana that nearly saw Rush and Jaka land on each other. Rush got the win with the Dragon’s Call, which looked great at 9:06. I was worried that turning it into an impromptu three way would cause issues. Instead, it made things better than I expected since Rush was the highlight here and was mostly used well. It was high energy, moved briskly and was entertaining. [***]

Façade and Michael Richard Blaze w/ Dani vs. The Gatekeepers w/ Ethan Page
I’ve never heard of Façade and MRB. I was genuinely confused when they came out. One looked like a shitty FCW era Seth Rollins cosplayer. The Gatekeepers did exactly what they needed to and squashed these geeks in 2:03. They needed that after some recent losses. [NR]

Ethan Page got on the microphone, saying this show is part of the “era of ego.” He demanded to be part of the Evolve Title match but since nobody gave him a shot, he called out his opponent for the night.

Austin Theory vs. Ethan Page w/ The Gatekeepers
Austin Theory is just 19 and one of the guys to be featured on several WWN shows this year. He seemed to tweak his knee early but was mostly fine. Page took the time to wear down Theory, grounding the youngster. Most of it was dull. Page hit the RKO-Ego but Theory surprisingly kicked out. I think that could’ve been a bigger deal but it fell flat. Theory ate a series of kicks and Page won with a uranage. This was just bland. It worked as an extended squash at 7:17 but I would’ve liked Theory to get in a few more hope spots to get the crowd more invested. [*]

More promo time from Ethan Page as he berated Theory on his way out. After Theory exited the ring, Priscilla Kelly strolled to the ring. She got in Page’s face before the cameras caught a bunch of people in bloodied scrubs bringing a body bag to the ring. They had their faces painted too. They lifted the body bag but Page and the Gatekeepers attacked them before they opened it. The Gatekeepers slammed the body bag down without even opening before launching it into the rest of the guys outside. He was brought back in and the bag was opened to reveal Darby Allin. He awoke and took out the Gatekeepers with a pipe. Page scurried during this and Allin challenged him to a match tomorrow. It’ll be an anything goes match apparently. That was a strange segment that dragged on too long so the crowd was dead for some of it. I loved seeing Priscilla Kelly though.

Keith Lee vs. Ricochet
This was part of Keith Lee’s “Trial Series.” It should make for an interesting clash of styles. Ricochet’s early grapple attempts were fun. He turned to try his athleticism but Lee showed off his skill in that department with a great dropkick. Ricochet was game for this and bumped like an absolute madman for Lee. He finally got an opening after snapping off a big rana and nailing a dive to the outside. Lee survived some of Ricochet’s best shots. Ricochet then impressed everyone with a reverse rana and Benadryller. It wasn’t the best Benadryller but just picking up Lee was huge. Lee survived a series of kicks and avoided the SSP. After a series of strikes, Lee hit an awesome sitout powerbomb but Ricochet got the shoulder up. Lee went for the moonsault that broke the ring in San Antonio but missed. Ricochet hit a springboard 450 for two and then the SSP. Lee kicked out so hard he launched Ricochet into the turnbuckle. Ricochet hit another but Lee grabbed him by the throat, so Ricochet had to fight him off. Kicks after kick and Lee barely got down. Finally, a 630 got Ricochet the win at 17:13. That was the best Lee match thus far. I was surprised he lost but he looked awesome in defeat. Ricochet threw everything he had at Lee, over and over, and it was still barely enough. Ricochet bumped like crazy for him though I’d still have preferred a Lee win. [****]

Evolve Tag Team Championship: Fred Yehi and Tracy Williams (c) vs. Donovan Dijak and Michael Elgin
Williams and Elgin started, with Williams having an advantage in the technical aspect. Yehi and Dijak had some good exchanges, like Yehi stomping on his feet and Dijak tossing him like a rag doll. The champs showed off some solid tandem offense. Dijak impressed with his fosbury flop. He’s a big dude and does it rather well. Williams got worked over the challengers. Yehi got the hot tag and was his awesome self. Tracy seemed to have issues with the size of his opponents. He survived a moonsault from Dijak and then delivered a sick dragon screw into an ankle lock. I thought Dijak’s leg was broken. The challengers came back with a series of big offensive moves on both champs. Williams somehow kicked out of a middle rope powerbomb and one of Dijak’s best moves. Yehi, like a wild man, hit Elgin with a damn Canadian Destroyer! They hit a double powerbomb on Dijak that he kicked out of, so Tracy transitioned to a crossface. Dijak fought to his feet only for Yehi to dropkick his knees. Dijak tapped at 18:25. Like most title matches since Yehi & Williams won the titles, this was good but not quite great. They did a good job of making fans believe Elgin and Dijak could win despite not being Evolve regulars. The champs fought from behind, using their smarts and technical acumen to overcome their size disadvantage. [***½]

Larry Dallas showed up to stir more shit. He claimed Yehi and Williams allowed Riddle to get hurt ahead of the WWN Title match on Saturday. Yehi said he hoped Riddle wasn’t hurt and looks forward to their match tomorrow. They sent Dallas packing, before Chris Dickinson and Jaka wanted to know where their title match was. Tracy wants them to focus on the matches signed for this weekend.

Evolve Championship: Zack Sabre Jr. (c) vs. ACH
Zack Sabre Jr. only brought out one of his titles. ACH startled him in the beginning with a soccer kick. Sabre retaliated with a kick of his own to the hand, looking to set up later submissions. He took the time to bend and twist ACH in awkward ways. ACH sold it well and Sabre continued to go after it. Sabre’s best matches are the ones where he doesn’t just do submissions for the sake of it, but here they made sense and focused on something. He caught an ACH dive into a submission but was too close to the ropes. ACH rallied by escaping a corner submission. He got close on a pinning combination and a bridging German suplex. Someone started a “USA” chant so the rest of the crowd booed him. ACH went into a flurry of offense only for his 450 splash to be caught in a triangle choke! He transitioned to another submission at 15:16 to make ACH submit. This was really good but lacked things to take it to the next level. I feel like ACH brought it but I wish Sabre sold some of his stuff better. Still, this was a worthy main event with some great moments. [***½]

Overall: 7/10. I’d say this was solid outing from Evolve. There were some things that missed the mark (Page/Theory, Thatcher/Dickinson, the Allin segment) but most of the show featured good matches. Riddle/Galloway is an intense sprint, the two title matches are both very good, the three way is fun and Ricochet/Lee was awesome. Consider that the first must-see match from the weekend.

The Architecture of NXT: Episode #122

The Architecture of NXT
Episode #122
June 20th, 2012 | Full Sail Arena in Winter Park, Florida

Yes, this is going to be a series covering NXT from the very first episode at Full Sail University. The WWE Network recently began adding the original Full Sail run, so I thought it would be fun to check that era out. Maybe one day they’ll add the hilarious NXT season three for me to review. Since I do the weekly reports for NXT on 411mania, I’ve seen and covered over two years’ worth of episodes. Eventually, this series will take me to revisit those, but that won’t be for a while.

So here it is. Episode #122 of NXT, but the first at Full Sail. Previously, NXT was a show where contestants did strange challenges and competed before being voted off by the fans. Wade Barrett, Kaval, Kaitlyn and Johnny Curtis won the first four seasons. The fifth season, titled “Redemption” was a long, strange journey that eventually went nowhere and was replaced by this. A new weekly third brand of developmental meant to give talent a feel for the main roster but on a smaller scale.

The show opens with shots of Superstars before explaining that NXT is the show of people trying to make their own history. Footage of Seth Rollins, Jason Jordan, Corey Graves, Xavier Woods, Tyson Kidd, Kassius Ohno, Paige, Derrick Bateman and several others are shown. The Coheed and Cambria “Welcome Home” intro > “Roar of the Crowd.”

It might not look like much compared to now, but this entire setup was awesome. Jim Ross comes out first and introduces the interim NXT General Manager, Dusty Rhodes! Dusty announces the main event as Tyson Kidd vs. Michael McGillicutty. They throw to a video package of a new NXT star, Bo Dallas. He comes across here as a massively generic babyface, plugging his family history. “I’ve got a smile that shines for miles, a fist that breaks bricks and a chin that won’t give in.” Wow.

Bo Dallas def. Rick Viktor in 2:17
This is pre-Ascension era Viktor. William Regal joins JR in the booth, giving us a splendid commentary tandem. He notes Viktor was the last man to come from the Hart Dungeon, which is a sad statement. Viktor gets no entrance and Bo treats him like a jobber. Viktor gets in a few early shots before Bo tosses him around the ring. Bo scores with a spear to win. THE ORIGINAL BIG DOG BO DALLAS! Not the hottest way to start a new show but it was clear they had early plans for Bo. NR

He gets interviewed atop the stage and says he came in with a game plan and executed it. It’s just the beginning.

VIGNETTE ~ Seth Rollins gets a video package. Though he isn’t on this episode, he instantly stuck out me since I loved him as Tyler Black. He debuts next week.

VIGNETTE ~ Former rugby player Antonio Cesaro! And he’s making out with Aksana! Remember these days? He also debuts next week.

Damien Sandow comes out for a match against future NXT Tag Team Champion, Jason Jordan. He has a mini-afro and it benefits him that he got a haircut down the line. Sandow introduces himself and it appalled at his unworthy opponent. He will not compete and does it for the benefit and welfare of the fans. That was a great way to showcase how much of a pretentious dick Sandow is.

VIGNETTE ~ WELOME TO THE WASTELANE! The OG Ascension, featuring Konnor and Kenneth Cameron (future ex-husband of Charlotte and TNA multi-contract signee Bram) get to cut a strange promo, which is over the top and rather funny.

RAW REBOUND ~ Since I’m not watching the weekly shows from 2012, this should be kind of fun. On Monday, John Laurinaitis had his goodbye after getting fired. He booked one final match, pitting himself, Big Show and David Otunga against John Cena. Show walked out due to his ironclad contract. Otunga in main events was a bad idea, but I actually really enjoyed Big Johnny as a GM. Being the bully that he is, Cena hit him with AA after AA.

The Ascension def. CJ Parker and Mike Dalton in 1:13
JUICE ROBINSON AND TYLER BREEZE! The Ascension’s entrance is over the top and a bit strange since it cuts to random shots of them, which could be confusing to some. Konnor had probably been in development for about a decade at this point. They just dominate and beat Parker with the Downcast. Another fine squash that did what it needed to. NR

VIGNETTE ~ It’s Bray Wyatt! Every single thing about this and the Bray character are so goddamn cool. The WWE made far too many mistakes with him as he could’ve been special.

Derrick Bateman is walking backstage and enters the men’s bathroom looking for Johnny Curtis. Johnny busts out of a stall and claims to be sick. Bateman thinks he’s faking it so he can get out of next week’s main event. They both have been pondering what they’re gonna do to each other next week. Curtis leaves and Bateman asks if he’s gonna wash his hands, so Curtis wipes them on Derrick’s shirt. I guess it’s Fandango vs. EC3 next week.

Tyson Kidd def. Michael McGillicutty in 13:33
Michael McGillicutty is such a stupid name. He was a runner-up in NXT season two, where he cut the ridiculously absurd “genesis of McGillicutty” promo. They go through a solid feeling out process, with Kidd winning out and causes McGillicutty to regroup outside. Knowing he has the power advantage, McGillicutty takes it to a test of strength, but Kidd uses his speed and athleticism to win out. McGillicutty turns it around a bit but gets sent outside and Kidd greets him with a tope suicida. After a short commercial, McGillicutty takes over. Props to Kidd for taking the Hart family sternum corner bump. Kidd gets a few hope spots and flash pins, but McGillicutty remains in control. He misfires when putting Kidd in the tree of woe and tries a baseball slide but hits the ring post. McGillicutty does Mr. Perfect like bumps when Kidd kicks him in the leg. It’s straight out of SummerSlam 1991. Kidd springboards into a dropkick, stopping his momentum. Kidd does score with a moonsault (JR incorrectly calls it a reverse moonsault) for two. McGillicutty avoids a submission and puts Kidd in the Sharpshooter, though he reaches the ropes. Kidd gets few rollup attempts before applying the Dungeon Lock, complete with kicks to the face, to get the win. Awesome main event. Two guys that are very talented in the ring but weren’t getting a chance to show if off on the main roster, so they made the first NXT main event their bitch. Great exchanges and I loved the callbacks to the Hart/Hennig rivalry. Maybe I’m going a bit high, but this was my kind of match. ***¾

Overall: 7/10. A strong effort for a first show. The two squashes were clearly nothing special, but accomplished the goals of establishing the Ascension and Bo Dallas. That’s key because they’d both play major parts in the early stages of NXT. The main event was great, I loved the commentary team and the production was top notch. This was a damn good way to let people know that NXT was different this time around.

Random Network Reviews: WWE Taboo Tuesday 2004

Taboo Tuesday 2005
November 1st, 2005 | iPayOne Center in San Diego, California | Attendance: 6,000

After the failure of This Tuesday in Texas, the WWE did away with the idea of a Tuesday night Pay-Per-View. That changed in 2004, when they brought in Taboo Tuesday. Considering the time period, the concept of the show made sense. Fans voted for various things like competitors, match types, etc. and their choices played out on screen. This would be the last of two Taboo Tuesday events before it was moved to Sundays as Cyber Sunday.

Right after the opening video, this goes straight to the opening match without much introduction from commentary. It is Joey Styles and Jerry Lawler on it though.

For the opener, the fans were choosing the Smackdown guys to face Chris Masters and Edge. Their options were Christian, Matt Hardy, Hardcore Holly, JBL and Rey Mysterio. This is also coming off of the heels of the personal Hardy/Edge rivalry. Lita and Edge get on the mic and say there’s no reason to compete because he doesn’t care about Matt, Raw or the fans. He brings out Snitsky as a replacement, so that’s extremely disappointing. 

Interpromotional Match
Chris Masters and Snitsky vs. Matt Hardy and Rey Mysterio
There are two referees in the ring, one from each brand. The heels attack quickly but Rey and Matt don’t stay down for long since they are resilient faces. It’s so odd watching both refs trying to do their jobs. Matt gets two on the Side Effect and then hits a damn second rope DDT on Snitsky. Surprisingly, it seems like Matt is going to take the heat here. Snitsky and Masters do well as the powerful heel combination for a bit. The hot tag eventually comes to Rey, but his hot streak can’t last long against his larger opponents. Masters gets Rey in the Masterlock, which nobody had broken at this point. Rey kicks off and lands on top of Masters, pinning his shoulders. The Smackdown ref counts but the Raw ref stops him. This leads to Rey and Matt diving out onto both opponents. Shortly after, Masters takes the 619, Twist of Fate and a springboard splash to lose.

Winners: Matt Hardy and Rey Mysterio in 13:46
Decent little opener here. Matt Hardy and Rey Mysterio made for a good team and Chris Masters and Snitsky worked better than expected. The two ref stuff was odd and I think it would have been better off with Rey taking the heat since he’s a better sympathetic babyface. This also screamed TV and not PPV match. **½

Eugene and Jimmy Snuka vs. Rob Conway and Tyson Tomko
What kind of hell is this? The fans had to choose between Jim Duggan, Jimmy Snuka and Kamala as Eugene’s partner. Eugene is in for the entire match, taking heat after a slightly hot start. Nothing that Rob Conway and Tyson Tomko do is really interesting in any way. Jimmy Snuka gets the mild tag, though Eugene still handles most of the work. He hits a rock bottom on Conway before Snuka nails the Superfly Splash and gets the 1-2-3.

Winners: Eugene and Jimmy Snuka in 6:21
This was pretty bad Jimmy Snuka clearly couldn’t do much and the other three guys in the match weren’t really good enough to overcome that. ¾*

Tyson Tomko tries to attack Jimmy Snuka after the bell, but Kalama and Jim Duggan show up to make the save and give the fans a nice little moment of nostalgia.

Carlito vs. Mankind
The fans got to vote on which of Mick Foley’s personalities would face Carlito tonight. Commentary puts over Mankind like he’s Cactus Jack, making me think they expected Cactus to win the vote. Mankind overwhelms Carlito early and often until he gets a steel chair. Carlito avoids it with a drop toe hold that sends Mankind and the chair into the steel steps. That turns the tide for Carlito, who ends up trying to choke Mankind out. Mankind fights out and pulls his hair out, to show how much he likes pain. To show that there’s still some Cactus in him, Mankind hits the Cactus apron elbow. Joey Styles pulls a Michael Cole and calls it VINTAGE MANKIND! Mankind pulls out Mr. Socko, complete with a Carlito like afro, and wins with the Mandible Claw.

Winner: Mankind in 7:22
I wouldn’t call this a really bad match but I wouldn’t call it good either. It was kind of just there. The fans got a nice little nostalgia moment again from Mankind but this didn’t really do anything for Carlito and was completely forgettable. **

Backstage, Vince McMahon shows up and is disappointed in Eric Bischoff for losing to Smackdown on his own Pay-Per-View.

Todd Grisham now shows us who the fans voted to join John Cena and Kurt Angle in the main event. Shawn Michaels obviously beats out Kane and Big Show for the slot. That means Show and Kane will now team up.

World Tag Team Championship
Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch (c) vs. Big Show and Kane
The challengers go after the champions outside. Lance Cade throws a fit to hype himself up, trying to overcome his fear, but it fails. Cade and Murdoch try to get the upper hand, but Big Show and Kane seem to be too much. Each time it seems like they may have an opening, Show or Kane shrug off their offense and kick their asses. The champions finally do something of note after knocking Kane off the top and hitting Sweet and Sour outside. They work a very short heat segment on Kane before Show gets the tag and dominates. Kane and Show double Chokeslam Cade to give us new champions.

Winners and New World Tag Team Champions: Big Show and Kane in 7:59
Oh man, this was not very good. I get that Kane and Big Show are big men but this did nothing but make Cade and Murdoch look like chumps. There wasn’t really any structure to this match, as they seemed to just kill time until the end. *

For some reason, Trevor Murdoch yells at Kane that he didn’t get chokeslammed. You know, because that’s more important than being upset about losing the belts. He eats a double Chokeslam himself.

Todd Grisham brings out the Divas because the fans are about to choose what they wear for the upcoming battle royal. The fans choose lingerie over cheerleaders and leather and lace.

Non-Title Street Fight
World Heavyweight Champion Batista vs. Jonathan Coachman w/ Goldust and Vader
For this match, the fans choose between arm wrestling match, debate or street fight. Yea, that was an obvious outcome. Coach was supposed to face Steve Austin but that couldn’t happen and instead, Austin couldn’t make it and Batista replaced him. Yes, the two men with Coach are super random. Due to there being no real rules in this, Coach sends his henchmen in to pound on Batista. Goldust even brings a kendo stick into play. Coach whips Batista with a belt until the “Animal” comes back and starts whipping everyone. He then plants Coach with the Batista Bomb to end it.

Winner: Batista in 4:22
Not much to really discuss here. Batista took a short beating, came back and won like the World Champion should. It wasn’t very fun though, despite seeing guys like Goldust and Vader. Matches like this really showed why the brand exclusive PPVs had issues a lot of the time. ½*

Shawn Michaels is interviewed about getting voted into the main event for the second straight Taboo Tuesday. HBK says it’s good to be the popular kid. Kurt Angle interrupts to say he doesn’t like Shawn but wants to put their differences aside to take out John Cena. Shawn responds by saying that he’ll think about.

WWE Women’s Championship Fulfill Your Fantasy Battle Royal
Trish Stratus (c) vs. Ashley Massaro vs. Candice Michelle vs. Maria Kanellis vs. Mickie James vs. Victoria
Because I’m this kind of guy, I’m going to rank the girls based on how they look tonight. Trish, Mickie, Ashley, Maria, Candice and Victoria. This starts as a standard women’s battle royal but there is added intrigue here because of the Trish and Mickie story. Mickie saves Trish from elimination a few times. Maria, the interviewer, is first out courtesy of Mickie and Trish. Like an idiot, Candice showboats after a move on the apron and is knocked out. Victoria hits the best move of the match with a big tilt-a-whirl slam on Trish. Victoria eliminates Ashley next. Victoria and Trish go at it, with Trish nearly getting eliminated but Mickie saves her. Victoria again nearly eliminates Trish, but Mickie again saves her, before brawling Victoria to the outside and sacrificing herself so Trish can retain.

Winner and Still WWE Women’s Champion: Trish Stratus in 5:23
The actual wrestling in the match wasn’t the greatest, but the story told in this made it lightyears better than other women’s battle royals. Mickie saving her idol Trish so many times was part of the bigger story that led to Mickie and Trish having a great WrestleMania match in my favorite women’s storyline of all time. The outfits worn helped the enjoyment factor too. **¼ 

WWE Intercontinental Championship Steel Cage Match
Ric Flair (c) vs. Triple H
The rivalry between these two guys was pretty well done. The fans voted the Steel Cage match over a straight up match and submission match since Ric Flair basically begged for it on TV leading up to this. There is certainly tension in the air as they trade blows in the early stages. HHH is the first to send his opponent into the steel and Flair is instantly gushing blood. He continues the assault, grating Flair’s’ face across the cage for a gruesome visual. He tries to leave but Flair catches up and they both get crotched. Triple H gets a chain and uses it to pulverize Flair some more. Flair’s loud selling is good here as he sounds like he’s in absolute agony. To add insult to injury, HHH locks in the Figure Four. Flair is able to counter and send HHH into the steel. Triple H is now bleeding and Flair pounces, even biting him. Flair lays into Triple H and takes him down with the chop block. Joey Styles does a great job in pointing to the leg as a weak point for the Game after his quad injury. HHH survives the Figure Four but gets hit with a low blow. A chair gets brought into play and Flair stops HHH from using it with the TESTICULAR CLAW! Flair then levels Triple H with the chair and escapes the cage.

Winner and Still WWE Intercontinental Champion: Ric Flair in 23:45
An absolutely gruesome match. There were buckets of blood spilled and it was certainly brutal. They told a good story and had the match I expected from these two. Their next encounter later in the month was better, but this was still pretty damn good and our match of the night so far. ***½

WWE Championship
John Cena (c) vs. Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels
Within five seconds, Kurt Angle already takes out Shawn Michaels to squander any ides of them teaming up. The guys go through the classic “two guys in the ring while one is thrown outside” scenarios. When everybody is in together, the match it at its best. Angle starts suplexing the world with Germans and overhead belly-to-belly suplexes for everyone. Michaels counters the Ankle Lock, sending Angle right into the FU. Angle blocks and Cena almost gets hit Sweet Chin Music, but he blocks it too. That was a pretty cool sequence. Shawn and Kurt end up working together to take out Cena. Not content with just tossing him outside, they double front suplex him through the Spanish announce table. Now Angle and Michaels start going at each other, which makes sense given their rivalry during 2005. They were tied at one and then the rubber match was a draw, so this a treat. After some great back and forth, Angle hits a top rope Angle Slam but Shawn kicks out. THE STRAPS ARE DOWN! Cena is back though and takes out Angle. Shawn survives Cena’s attacks and somersaults onto Angle outside. Inside, Shawn goes into some of his trademark comeback offense on both guys. Angle stops him in his tracks with a belly to belly that sends him outside. He turns into Cena, who does his Five Knuckle Shuffle stuff. Angle avoids the FU and applies the ankle lock. Just a few months into Cena’s reign and the fans are very mixed already. Cena struggles to avoid tapping and Michaels breaks it with an elbow on Angle. My only issue with that is that Shawn took his time climbing, which made sense because he’s selling, but was a dumb move overall because Cena may have tapped. Sweet Chin Music to Angle and then Cena hits the FU on Michaels to retain.

Winner and still WWE Champion: John Cena in 16:42
A great capper to a pretty lackluster show. While John Cena would go on to become significantly better in the ring, he was clearly a step behind his opponents at this point. Despite that, the work between Angle and Michaels was spectacular, and the closing minutes of this were pretty damn awesome. Paint by numbers finish, but still a great match that probably would have been an all-time classic with a more polished Cena. ***¾

Overall: 3.5/10; Not good. Honestly, this was on the way to being one of the worst Pay-Per-Views I have ever seen. Nothing during the first two hours was worth watching. The Divas Battle Royal was okay and then the final two matches saved this from being abysmal. Those two matches are worth checking out but other than that, skip this show. Next up on “Random Network Reviews” will beSummerSlam 2009!

NJPW Road to Sakura Genesis Review

NJPW Road to Sakura Genesis
March 26th, 2017 | Korakuen Hall in Tokyo, Japan | Attendance: 1,743

I wish NJPW would keep the Korakuen Hall shows to the bigger “Road to” events. This one doesn’t exactly fit that bill.

Bad Luck Fale def. Tomoyuki Oka in 1:14
Though he’s a young lion, Oka’s probably already better than Fale. Fale threw him around but Oka had a hope spot or two. Fale wasn’t trying to work a lengthy match though and finished quickly with the Grenade. I like Oka, but this was fine and different. NR

Suzuki-Gun (El Desperado, TAKA Michinoku and Takashi Iizuka) def. Hirai Kawato, Jushin Thunder Liger and Tiger Mask IV in 10:38
Young lions run to the ring, and the second Kawato slid in, Suzuki-Gun jumped him. Surprisingly, it didn’t lead to the typical Suzuki-Gun ringside brawl. Maybe they’re saving it for later. Kawato got his ass handed to him here. At one point, Liger saved him and slapped him around, basically telling him to wake the hell up. Tiger Mask eventually got the hot tag, which is less fun than Liger getting it. Thankfully, Liger came in shortly after and worked his magic. The finishing stretch was rather hot, with Iizuka bringing a chair into play and Kawato picking up a few near falls. Kawato is a young lion though, so he eventually fell to El Desperado’s finisher. Better than I expected. Suzuki-Gun have been a big group of suck since their return but Kawato being a wild man and Liger playing angry dad made this fun. **¾

IWGP Tag Team Champions TenKoji and Togi Makabe def. David Finlay and War Machine in 9:10
This was here to build towards TenKoji vs. War Machine at Sakura Genesis. That’s far and away the most interesting IWGP Tag Team Title match in years. Finlay and War Machine did their best Suzuki-Gun, attacking before the bell. You know Makabe on these “Road to” shows. Minimal effort and bumping. He might as well not have been there. Tenzan took the heat, with War Machine doing several heel things. They didn’t get booed much though since they’re popular and they’re teaming with a babyface. We got highlights of the tandem offense that makes War Machine so good. Hanson mistakenly took out Rowe with a dive, leaving Finlay to take the Koji Cutter and lariat. I enjoy everyone in the match except Makabe and this was good. It protected both tag teams and made me want to see their singles match more. **¾

Suzuki-Gun (Minoru Suzuki and IWGP Jr. Tag Team Champions Taichi and Yoshinobu Kanemaru) def. CHAOS (Gedo, NEVER Openweight Champion Hirooki Goto and Jado) in 11:56
While the IWGP Tag Title match at Sakura Genesis sounds fun, the Jr. Tag Title match sounds dreadful. Guess how this starts? With the sneak attack and ringside brawl. You’d think they’d get tired of working the same match so often. Suzuki beat up Goto in the crowd. I suspect that Goto beats Zack Sabre Jr. at Sakura Genesis and then gets Suzuki for the title. The only joy I found in this match was watching Suzuki abuse Jado and some of the Suzuki/Goto interactions. In the end, the Jr. Tag Champions used Taichi’s microphone stand and a title belt before Kanemaru hit the diving DDT to win. Typical stuff from these guys. That upcoming Tag Title match is gonna suck. *¾ 

CHAOS (Beretta, Tomohiro Ishii and Toru Yano) def. The Bullet Club (Chase Owens, Kenny Omega and Yujiro Takahashi) in 12:46
Seeing this made me realize how little the Bullet Club is doing at Sakura Genesis. Not that I mind, since the group is BEYOND stale and the only one I care to see anymore is Omega. Since this wasn’t building to anything specific, it truly felt like filler. Chase Owens did look motivated though, probably happy to be back in NJPW for the first time in 2017. Omega was in his “I don’t care” gear, so we got the expected effort from him. Beretta took the heat and sold rather well. Ishii got the hot tag and was his usual awesome self. We got some fun interactions between Yano and Omega, leading to Yano getting beaten up. In the end, Yano was Yano and used a low blow and rollup to beat Owens. About what you’d expect here. Only Owens and Ishii seemed interesting in working and while it wasn’t bad, it was kind of just there. **½

Hiroshi Tanahashi, Juice Robinson, KUSHIDA, Manabu Nakanishi and Ryusuke Taguchi def. Los Ingobernables de Japon (NEVER Openweight Six Man Tag Team Champions BUSHI, EVIL and SANADA, IWGP Jr. Heavyweight Champion Hiromu Takahashi and IWGP Intercontinental Champion Tetsuya Naito) in 12:16
Tanahashi and lads against LIDJ are fun matches but we can only see them so many times. The legitimate matches the feud spawns are great (Tanahashi/Naito, Naito/Elgin, SANADA/Tana, EVIL/Tana, Taguchi/Hiromu, Hiromu/KUSHIDA, etc.) but it means we get the same tag combinations. I’d have loved if we got Naito/Juice at Sakura Genesis. LIDJ attacked before the bell because it must happen at least twice a show in Gedo’s world. They did a lot of the stuff we’ve become accustomed to here. Taguchi ass offense, Takahashi and KUSHIDA giving us a preview of Sakura Genesis, Naito and Juice being fun, etc. After most guys got involved in a barrage of offense, it came down SANADA and Juice, which is a match I’d be interested in. Juice escaped Skull End and won with Pulp Friction. On the lesser end of the spectrum of their matches. We’ve seen it a ton and replacing Elgin with Nakanishi at this point doesn’t help. **¾

LIDJ jumped the faces after the match.

Katsuyori Shibata and Yuji Nagata def. IWGP Heavyweight Champion Kazuchika Okada and YOSHI-HASHI in 17:39
I love Shibata and Nagata and I like YOSHI-HASHI. This served as a preview for Okada/Shibata at Sakura Genesis. They kicked things off but kept it light, leading to YOSHI against Nagata. Their G1 match last year was good. It was fine this time around too but clearly everyone wanted Shibata and Okada. Their next interaction was a bit more heated but still didn’t give too much away, which is the right way to go. I dug how it progressed, with Shibata coming in and just booting Okada off the apron. Annoyed, Okada slid in and they exchanged blows. Of course, Okada can’t hit nearly as hard and got put in the sleeper. YOSHI broke it up but ended up in one himself. The PK finished him off, giving Shibata more momentum. A good main event. It was nothing great but accomplished the goal of hyping Shibata/Okada. ***

After the match, Okada and Shibata had a stare down.

Overall: 4.5/10. Not one of the better “Road to” shows. Only the Jado & Gedo tag was something I’d consider reasonably bad but the rest of the show is either bland or stuff we’ve seen before for the most part. The only thing of real interest was TenKoji against War Machine and the Shibata/Okada interactions. Only one match clocked in at three stars.