WrestleMania 33 Review

WWE WrestleMania 33
April 2nd, 2017 | Citrus Bowl in Orlando, Florida | Attendance: 75,245

WWE Cruiserweight Championship: Neville (c) vs. Austin Aries
Seeing Austin Aries on WrestleMania was surreal. Putting this on the pre-show was the best move. On the main show, they might’ve been restricted to five or so minutes. Instead, they got 15:37 and made it work. I appreciated that they didn’t go for the typical spotty match and used a slower start to build to something more. Aries hitting the heat seeking missile got a pop from me. Their finishing stretch was awesome and Aries even busted out the 450 splash. Neville kicking out of it didn’t bother me since Aries hasn’t established it as a finish in WWE. The finish was great with Aries digging into Aries’ old eye injury to open the door for the Red Arrow. I see I liked this more than most but it was, to me, the first great Cruiserweight Title match since the belt returned. [****]

Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal
No surprises in there this year. Only Big Show and Braun got entrances. The big surprise came when, after eliminating Big Show, Braun Strowman was eliminated by everyone. Most people, myself included, saw him winning. The other favorites like Luke Harper and Sami Zayn were also dumped out. It came down to NXT’s Killian Dane, Mojo Rawley and Jinder fucking Mahal. Mahal threw a drink at Mojo’s friend Rob Gronkowski in the front row. Rob hopped the guardrail and tackled Mojo for the WRESTLEMANIA MOMENT! Mojo eliminated Dane and Mahal and won at 14:07. I wasn’t as upset with the result as a lot of people. The match was standard battle royal fare. [*¼]

WWE Intercontinental Championship: Dean Ambrose (c) vs. Baron Corbin
People were not happy this was moved to the Kickoff Show. I don’t know if it played a part in how the match turned out but I could totally see that being the case. Both guys, especially Corbin, looked pissed. They worked a match with little to no heat, which was disappointing because their feud has been rather great. They did stuff but none of it really connected. Dean countered the End of Days into Dirty Deeds to pick up the win at 10:44. It felt like neither guy put their best foot forward. I hope something is being saved for a better match, preferably with a stipulation, at the next Smackdown PPV.[**¼]

AJ Styles vs. Shane McMahon
There’s a lot of talk about who the best wrestler in the world is. For me, there’s no question or debate. It’s AJ Styles. He proved it again on this show. AJ helped carry a non-wrestler to a great wrestling match. Not one that relied on smoke and mirrors either. The story early was that AJ was overconfident because a straight up wrestling match is his domain. Shane made him rethink things by busting out some solid grappling of his own. It never felt like Shane was better than AJ, just that AJ took him too lightly and it cost him. They advanced to strikes, where Shane seemed to get the better. We got a ref bump, but it worked here. AJ went for Shane’s coast to coast spot but Shane threw a trash can at him. He then showed that he can hit the coast to coast still. Shane, the wild man that he is, tried a goddamn shooting star press, but missed. AJ hit the Phenomenal Forearm for his first Mania win at 20:28. This was better than it had any right to be and better than both guys’ Mania matches last year. They told a great story, had lots of action and AJ bumped his ass off for Shane. My only major gripe was Shane kicking out of the Styles Clash. That should be protected. AJ Styles is the GOAT. [****¼]

WWE United States Championship: Chris Jericho (c) vs. Kevin Owens
The order of the matches on this show was weird. Chris Jericho’s entrance was a thing of beauty. He had a giant List of Jericho, brought back the countdown and had a light up scarf. The match itself delivered. Kevin Owens talked all kinds of trash in between his offense. He’s such a great bastard. They brought out some cool spots and counters. Owens turning a rana into his own Walls of Jericho was cool but Jericho topped it by countering a cannonball into one. We got another finisher kickout when Jericho survived the Popup Powerbomb. He tried again but Jericho turned it into an awesome Codebreaker. Owens broke the pin by getting ONE FINGER on the bottom rope. JUST LIKE THE PAINTING FROM THE FESTIVAL OF FRIENDSHIP! Owens hit the apron powerbomb to win the title at 16:46. A top notch match and this Mania was off to a rocking start. I loved how they knew each other so well that they had to dig deep and pull out new things. Owens resorting to the apron bomb was awesome since he only uses it when he really needs it. [***½]

WWE Raw Women’s Championship: Bayley (c) vs. Charlotte vs. Nia Jax vs. Sasha Banks
Sasha got a special entrance and was driven to the ring. She knew to avoid that ramp. Usually, I prefer an elimination stipulation since it means the winner has to truly earn it. However, I think it hurt this match. Things felt rushed at times. Nia dominated at first, so the other three teamed up and Shield powerbombed her out after about four minutes. BACK TO THE SAME THREE WOMEN RAW HAS SHOWCASED FOR MONTHS. Charlotte did her insane twisting plancha spot. Anti-climactically, Sasha was sent into the middle turnbuckle (which was supposed to be exposed judging by commentary) and eliminated. So she STILL can’t beat Charlotte on PPV. Also, why not do something with the Bayley/Sasha teases they’ve been building for weeks? Bayley and Charlotte did their standard back and forth before Bayley won with the elbow drop at 12:04. I don’t understand any of this. The match was fine enough but things didn’t make sense. Why not save Bayley’s big win for this show? Sure she showed she’s not a paper champion but that’s not enough. This could’ve been special. Also, no Sasha/Bayley stuff was lame and Bayley winning with the elbow lacked something. [**½]

WWE Raw Tag Team Championship Ladder Match: Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows (c) vs. Enzo Amore and Big Cass vs. Cesaro and Sheamus vs. The Hardy Boyz
Yes, before the match the New Day introduced the returning Hardy Boyz to a MONSTER pop. It was a great “holy shit” moment even though the rumors had been swirling for a while. I was never a huge Hardys fan but even I marked. I have to give props to commentary for to shoving “WRESTLEMANIA MOMENT” down our throats during this. I dug this match because it did what some matches on this show failed to. It didn’t go overly long and was jam-packed with action. Cesaro and Sheamus were the MVPs here for me. They beat the shit out of everyone and it was delightful. Enzo took a few bumps, Cass had some good moments and the Club were good heels throughout. Jeff, the madman that he is, pulled out a Swanton off a giant ladder like it was 2001 all over again. Matt retrieved the titles at 11:03 and the Hardys are champions again. Like I said, this was a blast with non-stop action, a great moment and it didn’t overstay its welcome. [***¾]

John Cena and Nikki Bella vs. The Miz and Maryse
Coming into this, you had to know what to expect. First, Maryse doesn’t wrestle anymore and Nikki needs time off to heal and is rumored to even possibly retire. So what we got was Miz and Cena handling the work but not trying to steal the show. Miz worked a heat on Cena and was great at talking shit to the fans and mocking Bryan. I got a chuckle out of seeing Cena give Nikki the hot tag. Nikki hit a suicide dive on Miz, who bumped wonderfully for her. The faces did stereo five knuckle shuffles and Attitude Adjustment/TKO spots to win at 9:36. This was fine for what it was, though they could’ve shaved off a few minutes from it. Then we got the moment it was all building towards, when Cena proposed to Nikki in the middle of the ring. Technically, doesn’t that validate Miz’s claims that Cena only does things for the camera? [**¼]

Non-Sanctioned Match: Seth Rollins vs. Triple H w/ Stephanie McMahon
Triple H got a weird entrance. Him as a biker with Stephanie was fine but the police escort was strange. I’ve read mixed things on this match. Some loved it and some hated it. I’m somewhere in the middle. It started hot. They hockey fought like they were Owens and Zayn, getting this off to the kind of start it needed. The crowd ate it up but I think things hit a lull in the middle. Parts of it felt like filler and you could tell they were going for this long match. I don’t see why Triple H keeps trying to work these long, methodical matches. It’s not his strong suit. He has hit at Mania before (Bryan, Taker, Benoit and HBK) but has missed a bunch too (Orton, Jericho, Sting, Brock, etc.) He worked the leg, which made sense. Seth fought through the pain because of how badly he wanted to get at Triple H but it just dragged at times. Seth’s rally was fine and the finish worked. Stephanie took a bump through a table, which was great and better than her getting speared last year. Seth did the suck it taunt to HHH and beat him with a Pedigree at 25:22. It felt every bit as long. They had good ideas but didn’t execute the way I wanted. It should’ve been more like HBK/HHH from SummerSlam 02. Play to your strengths and cut some of the tedious HHH offense. [**¾]

WWE World Championship: Bray Wyatt (c) vs. Randy Orton
This got lengthy build but I didn’t like all of it. I still say Randy should’ve been a real Wyatt and had the title come between them instead of being “undercover” the whole time. I wanted to like this but it was even worse than their shitty No Mercy match. I liked the mind games part where they kept projecting video of maggots, worms and roaches onto the ring. It was different and fit with the wacky feud. However, that was all there was to like. They didn’t mean much in the end anyway, since Orton won at 10:32 like it was nothing with an RKO. This felt rushed, they spammed finishers and had no cohesion. Also, why not keep the title on Bray? He had it just seven weeks and there was more to be done with him. Instead, it’s back to the status quo or yet another Randy reign and Bray looks like a joke again. Garbage. [½*]

WWE Universal Championship: Goldberg (c) vs. Brock Lesnar w/ Paul Heyman
I had no intentions of watching this match. I even left to the bathroom for a while once I heard it was on next. However, I was done and Goldberg was still making his entrance so I thought, “what the hell?” At first, I just thought the match was fine and kept to the right length, going just 4:45. Looking back though, if I take away my hatred for this angle and how much I don’t care to see either guy anymore, I must see this was expertly booked. They played to the strengths of both men. Brock took Goldberg to suplex city but Goldberg popped up and speared him twice. It played into Goldberg having Brock’s number no matter what Brock tried. Brock became one of, if not the only man to kick out of the Jackhammer before winning with the F5. It was explosive, told the right story and kept short and sweet. Kudos to them for that. [***]

WWE Smackdown Women’s Championship: Alexa Bliss (c) vs. Becky Lynch vs. Carmella w/ James Ellsworth vs. Mickie James vs. Naomi vs. Natalya
Naomi’s entrance in the big Mania stadium wasn’t quite as cool as I thought it would be. Somehow, both Mickie James and Becky Lynch dressed like Tatanka. The poor girls were given the death slot but props to them for trying hard. They had a lot of moving parts and not much time to get it all done. Each woman got a small moment to shine and I was particularly amused by the Alexa/Carmella interactions. There were a few sloppy moments but I can’t fully blame them because they were only given 5:32 to get a fair amount of shit in. Naomi won by making Alexa tap out. The crowd popped for the hometown girl though I don’t care for Naomi. I don’t think she’s championship material and is still painfully mediocre. Nice moment though. One thing I don’t like is how they made Alexa her bitch. Naomi beat her in several tags leading up to Elimination Chamber, beat her there and again here. Alexa never even got the best of her once. Anyway, this was fine energy and they worked hard. [**½]

Roman Reigns vs. The Undertaker
Jim Ross joined commentary for this. They added a No Holds Barred stipulation at the last minute. Undertaker’s entrance went nearly as long as Brock/Goldberg AND he started at the middle of the ramp. At first, I thought Undertaker looked great. He dumped Reigns outside, said “It’s still my yard,” and moved well. Within minutes though, he looked sluggish. It got bad after he took a huge spear through an announce table spot. They made a mess of a Tombstone spot inside and things fell apart afterwards. I know it was the main event, but booking the Undertaker to work a 22:56 match at his age and condition was a bad move. The longer this went, the more it looked like Undertaker couldn’t handle this. Not in a “the younger guy is beating me” sort of way but in a “I should’ve retired a while back” kind of way. Not saying he should’ve, but that’s how he looked. Taker kicked out of multiple spears and refused to quite until a fourth one kept his down. They did the big passing of the torch to Roman but like his match with Triple H last year, it went too long and wasn’t good. [*½]

Though it was a shame to see Undertaker end his career in such a lame match, what came next was perfect He put his hate and coat back on and the lights went purple while his theme played. He removed his gloves, coat and hat, neatly placing them in the center of the ring. He left, kissed Michelle McCool in the front row and posed halfway up the ramp. The mechanism he used to rise in the middle of the stage lowered him under it and the lights completely went out to the sound of gongs. Hours after the show, his gloves, coat and hat remained untouched in the ring.

Overall: 7/10. This is a hard WrestleMania to rank. If we’re judging it purely on the undercard, it’s an all-time great. Styles/Shane opened with the clear MOTN, while the Cruiserweight Title, United States Title and Raw Tag Team Titles were all great matches. Though I largely prefer Smackdown to Raw, it was the Raw brand who came up better. They had about equal women’s matches, but their midcard and top title matches were much better. They also had Tag Team Title match, which was a blast. The show had several memorable moments (the Hardys, Cena proposing, Taker’s last moments) too. However, seven hours is so damn long. It suffered from a similar issue to last year’s show and that’s how it ended. Last year we got the battle royal, the awful Rock segment and an overly long main event on an overly long show. Here, after the Tag Title match, the quality dipped. Seth/HHH disappointed, Bray/Orton was a stinker and Reigns/Taker was hard to watch. If the last section of the show was better, it would be in the argument for one of the better Manias ever. Instead, it was a good but not great show.

WrestleMania 33 Predictions

It's kind of telling of the WWE when they have over ten matches on the card yet still can't find a proper place for guys like Sami Zayn and Braun Strowman. They feel like the only two potential winners to be honest, though Samoa Joe and Luke Harper would be good choices if they officially get added. I'll go with Braun but Sami will come close.

Winner: Braun Strowman

Of all the matches on the card, only about four interest me. This is one of them. Despite the CWC being a success, nobody from the tournament is featured in the WrestleMania Cruiserweight Title match. That's a good thing though because most of them have flopped. Austin Aries and Neville feel like the two biggest stars of the division. They might not get ten minutes but if they do, they have potential to steal the entire show. It is the best Cruiserweight Title match so far on paper and has the best chance of being the first great one since it returned. The title switches often, so I'm going with Aries.

Winner: Austin Aries

I'm not a big fan of a clusterfuck match for the Smackdown women but if it stays as a Six Pack Challenge, it should be good. If they go the rumored route and add Emma, Summer Rae or (the awful) Kelly Kelly, it will be bad. I think most of these women deserve a spot at Mania. If I was booking, I'd probably put the title on Carmella or even back to Becky in a feel good moment. However, they seem hellbent on a Naomi title run, so I'll predict that.

Winner: Naomi

I'm so happy we're finally getting an Intercontinental Title singles match at WrestleMania. I'm also happy Baron Corbin gets Mania shine and Dean Ambrose gets a real singles match unlike last year when Brock Lesnar gave him no effort. This feud has been great but I wish we got a no DQ match or something like that. Part of me thinks Corbin should win but I think Ambrose retains. Then Baron takes the title from him in a specialty match at Backlash.

Winner: Dean Ambrose

Making this a ladder match gives me SOME hope for it. The Raw Tag Title scene has been kind of a mess like the Raw Women's Title picture. Gallows and Anderson feel like jokes, Cesaro and Sheamus got a short run and Enzo and Cass have been all over the place. Still, making this a ladder match means it should be, at the very least, fun. I think the Club leave with the titles before a feud with the returning Hardys.

Winners: Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson

I wanted so much more for The Miz at WrestleMania. Since last year's show, Miz has been one of the company's MVPs. John Cena has delivered when around too, so I didn't love the idea of this mixed tag. Kudos to them though for making the buildup intriguing and full of entertaining promos. This is one of the easiest matches to predict. There's no way Cena and Nikki don't win. The real prediction is whether or not Cena proposes after the match. I say he does and Nikki possibly retires.

Winners: John Cena and Nikki Bella

A year or two ago, if someone told me I wouldn't give a shit about a WrestleMania match involving Sasha Banks and Bayley, I would've thought you were on drugs. Leave it to Raw though to completely fumble this. Babyface Sasha Banks has been a mistake and Charlotte has been totally boring but Bayley is the real issue. Her story is so easy to tell but instead of doing it, they gave her a title win on Raw (which we'd seen with Sasha already) and then spent the next few weeks having her lose and get called a paper champion. The right thing to do would be to have her win and solidify that she's not a paper champion. Nia winning would be okay with me. However, even though she lost last month and it doesn't make sense for her to win, I don't bet against Charlotte. I expect more painfully awful stuff from her.

Winner: Bayley

Similar to the IC Title match, I'm happy we're getting a legitimate match for this title. Not just that, but it has actual build and should be the culmination of a long story. That's all I ask for going into Mania. Chris Jericho's odd at Mania because, for as great as he is, he's mostly had good but not great (except HBK at WM XIX) matches there. The ones with Christian, Triple H, AJ Styles, etc. all cap out at good to me. He loves Kevin Owens though, so I think he'll bring his A game. Owens should win this one.

Winner: Kevin Owens

Like many others, I wanted something more for AJ Styles. Personally, I'd have saved Styles/Cena III for WrestleMania. My main concern is that Shane McMahon is at his best when he's working a crazy match and does a big spot. With this being a traditional match, I can't see Shane getting to shine. One thing helps him. He'll be in there with the best wrestler in the world. If anyone can help Shane McMahon to a good traditional contest, it's AJ Styles. Also, he needs to win.

Winner: AJ Styles

I've been kind of over the Undertaker for a while. Especially once the streak ended. This match doesn't intrigue me at all. I don't know what their plan is. If they want Undertaker to pass the torch, they better be ready for Reigns to celebrate to a ton of heat. I'd have Undertaker win, since Reigns won't be hurt by it and if they want to turn him heel or something, have him kick Undertaker in the dick or something. Either way, like Charlotte, I never bet against the Big Dog.

Winner: Big Dog Gotta Eat

This had potential to be the best built match on the show but Seth Rollins' injury hurt things. Also, having it drawn out since August with little to no traction and Triple H never explaining why he gave up on Seth (who had only lost to Dean Ambrose and Finn Balor up to that point) means it doesn't have the juice it should. If Seth is healthy, the non-sanctioned aspect could make this the best match on the card. It's Triple H, who seems to go over on odd number Manias when he shouldn't (see Sting at 31, Lesnar at 29, Orton at 25, Booker at 19), so he could win but I believe Seth takes it.

Winner: Seth Rollins

I really wish they never went the "I was never truly in the Wyatt Family" route with Randy Orton. It was, hands down, the most interesting he's been in ages. They should've just had the WWE Title come between them. A torn Orton who wants to remain loyal but also wants the title would've made for excellent television. Anyway, Bray should retain and continue to be solidified now that he has the title. This is the WWE though. I see Orton winning and Bray falling back into his role of doing lots of nothing until stepping up to job to a bigger star.

Winner: Randy Orton

Fuck this. I'm not watching this match.

Winner: Brock Lesnar but I don't care

2017 Prediction Record: 12-11
2016 Prediction Record: 65-37

NXT TakeOver: Orlando Predictions

This is rather tough to call because it could really go either way. SAnitY could win to keep their momentum, but they've won most of their matches thus far and it could be time for the faces to overcome. I like the addition of Ruby Riot. She was very good on the indies and a feud with Nikki Cross could be great. I think the faces take it here but this feud will not end here, even if Tye Dillinger gets called up.

Winners: Tye Dillinger, No Way Jose, Roderick Strong and Ruby Riot

I like Aleister Black. I dug him as Tommy End and he was cool when I saw him at NXT Cleveland a few weeks back. However, Andrade Almas JUST started being awesome. He needed the heel turn and lifting some of his old Los Ingobernables antics has greatly helped. Unfortunately, he looks like he's going to take the old Tyler Breeze route of being used to put over new guys. Breeze did it for Itami, Balor and Crews. Almas has done it for Roode, Strong and now Black.

Winner: Aleister Black

This should be the best match on the card by quite some margin. The Revival are, hands down, the best tag team on the planet. DIY is probably second and the Authors of Pain have shown that with the right opponents, they can deliver. I'm not sure how the elimination stipulation will impact the match but regardless, it should rule. I don't think DIY get the titles back and I can only assume the Revival are getting called up soon. Or at least they should. A win for the Authors over the top two teams of the past six months in NXT would be big for them.

Winners: Authors of Pain

Considering Asuka debuted in October 2015 and is undefeated since, while also coming up on about a year as champion, you'd think this would be the opportune time to have her drop the title. Unfortunately, NXT hasn't developed anyone enough to even feel like they're in Asuka's league. Ember Moon is good, don't get me wrong, but I have no reason to care about her. She's just the girl with cool eyes. Personally, I'd have booked Niki Cross against Asuka here. If not, I'd have Asuka retain. I'm not booking though. I say Ember wins so she can get a huge moment under her belt but I don't think it'll be enough to make her stand out.

Winner: Ember Moon

The NXT Title picture just bores me. It has since the Owens/Balor rivalry in 2015. Balor/Joe, Joe/Nakamura and Nakamura/Roode have underwhelmed. Actually, Nakamura has underwhelmed since the Sami Zayn match. Still, I think the outcome here should be clear. Bobby Roode is a fun champion and Nakamura shouldn't be in NXT anymore. Have Roode retain and Nakamura debut the night after WrestleMania.

Winner: Bobby Roode

Evolve 80 Review

Evolve 80
March 30th, 2017 | Orlando Downtown Recreation Complex in Orlando, Florida

WrestleMania weekend officially kicks off with Evolve 80! Quick note, the venue looked awesome and was one of the best Evolve has ever run in.

To start the show, Drew Galloway was in the ring and steals the microphone from Lenny Leonard. He only trusted himself to set the tone for this big event. He put over the company and called this Wrestling Week, not WrestleMania Week. He called out Matt Riddle for their match.

Drew Galloway vs. Matt Riddle
Galloway opened things with a headbutt and they went to war from there. Riddle brought strikes, but Galloway overpowered him. He hit an impressive slam on the apron but also took a Bro to Sleep outside. A table was brought into play and Galloway delivered a piledriver off the apron through it. That felt like the end but Galloway wasn’t done. He put an exclamation point with the Future Shock inside and ANOTHER piledriver to end it at 7:15. That was shorter than I expected, but it worked for what they were going for. Galloway looks like a BEAST going into the WWN Title match this weekend. This was intense and I dug it. [***¼]

Drew Galloway looked to continue the assault but Chris Dickinson and Jaka ran out for the save.

Chris Dickinson vs. Timothy Thatcher w/ Stokely Hathaway
Timothy Thatcher goes from almost two years as Evolve Champion to the second match. His performances in the past year fit the card placement. I’m also not big on Dickinson, so my hopes weren’t high coming into this. They worked the mat early, with Dickinson, as always, playing the aggressor. It was typical Thatcher stuff. Outside of the Zack Sabre Jr. match last month, he’s had almost non-stop dull, lifeless matches. The highlight was probably Dickinson curb stomping him. In the end, Thatcher fought off a powerbomb, hit a kick and won with a submission at 9:16. Like I said, nothing special and rather lifeless. [**¼]

Jaka vs. Jason Kincaid vs. Lio Rush
This was scheduled to be a singles match, but it was announced that Lio Rush didn’t want to wait until scheduled return tomorrow and it was made into a three way. Rush and Kincaid had a fun exchange early until Jaka showed the power and ran him over. Jaka kept dumping Rush out of the ring. I’m not a fan of the tired trope where one guy gets thrown out to make these matches a series of one on one encounters. When all three were involved, the match was at its best. Rush nearly killed Kincaid with a kick and a reverse rana. Kincaid did a dangerous double super rana that nearly saw Rush and Jaka land on each other. Rush got the win with the Dragon’s Call, which looked great at 9:06. I was worried that turning it into an impromptu three way would cause issues. Instead, it made things better than I expected since Rush was the highlight here and was mostly used well. It was high energy, moved briskly and was entertaining. [***]

Façade and Michael Richard Blaze w/ Dani vs. The Gatekeepers w/ Ethan Page
I’ve never heard of Façade and MRB. I was genuinely confused when they came out. One looked like a shitty FCW era Seth Rollins cosplayer. The Gatekeepers did exactly what they needed to and squashed these geeks in 2:03. They needed that after some recent losses. [NR]

Ethan Page got on the microphone, saying this show is part of the “era of ego.” He demanded to be part of the Evolve Title match but since nobody gave him a shot, he called out his opponent for the night.

Austin Theory vs. Ethan Page w/ The Gatekeepers
Austin Theory is just 19 and one of the guys to be featured on several WWN shows this year. He seemed to tweak his knee early but was mostly fine. Page took the time to wear down Theory, grounding the youngster. Most of it was dull. Page hit the RKO-Ego but Theory surprisingly kicked out. I think that could’ve been a bigger deal but it fell flat. Theory ate a series of kicks and Page won with a uranage. This was just bland. It worked as an extended squash at 7:17 but I would’ve liked Theory to get in a few more hope spots to get the crowd more invested. [*]

More promo time from Ethan Page as he berated Theory on his way out. After Theory exited the ring, Priscilla Kelly strolled to the ring. She got in Page’s face before the cameras caught a bunch of people in bloodied scrubs bringing a body bag to the ring. They had their faces painted too. They lifted the body bag but Page and the Gatekeepers attacked them before they opened it. The Gatekeepers slammed the body bag down without even opening before launching it into the rest of the guys outside. He was brought back in and the bag was opened to reveal Darby Allin. He awoke and took out the Gatekeepers with a pipe. Page scurried during this and Allin challenged him to a match tomorrow. It’ll be an anything goes match apparently. That was a strange segment that dragged on too long so the crowd was dead for some of it. I loved seeing Priscilla Kelly though.

Keith Lee vs. Ricochet
This was part of Keith Lee’s “Trial Series.” It should make for an interesting clash of styles. Ricochet’s early grapple attempts were fun. He turned to try his athleticism but Lee showed off his skill in that department with a great dropkick. Ricochet was game for this and bumped like an absolute madman for Lee. He finally got an opening after snapping off a big rana and nailing a dive to the outside. Lee survived some of Ricochet’s best shots. Ricochet then impressed everyone with a reverse rana and Benadryller. It wasn’t the best Benadryller but just picking up Lee was huge. Lee survived a series of kicks and avoided the SSP. After a series of strikes, Lee hit an awesome sitout powerbomb but Ricochet got the shoulder up. Lee went for the moonsault that broke the ring in San Antonio but missed. Ricochet hit a springboard 450 for two and then the SSP. Lee kicked out so hard he launched Ricochet into the turnbuckle. Ricochet hit another but Lee grabbed him by the throat, so Ricochet had to fight him off. Kicks after kick and Lee barely got down. Finally, a 630 got Ricochet the win at 17:13. That was the best Lee match thus far. I was surprised he lost but he looked awesome in defeat. Ricochet threw everything he had at Lee, over and over, and it was still barely enough. Ricochet bumped like crazy for him though I’d still have preferred a Lee win. [****]

Evolve Tag Team Championship: Fred Yehi and Tracy Williams (c) vs. Donovan Dijak and Michael Elgin
Williams and Elgin started, with Williams having an advantage in the technical aspect. Yehi and Dijak had some good exchanges, like Yehi stomping on his feet and Dijak tossing him like a rag doll. The champs showed off some solid tandem offense. Dijak impressed with his fosbury flop. He’s a big dude and does it rather well. Williams got worked over the challengers. Yehi got the hot tag and was his awesome self. Tracy seemed to have issues with the size of his opponents. He survived a moonsault from Dijak and then delivered a sick dragon screw into an ankle lock. I thought Dijak’s leg was broken. The challengers came back with a series of big offensive moves on both champs. Williams somehow kicked out of a middle rope powerbomb and one of Dijak’s best moves. Yehi, like a wild man, hit Elgin with a damn Canadian Destroyer! They hit a double powerbomb on Dijak that he kicked out of, so Tracy transitioned to a crossface. Dijak fought to his feet only for Yehi to dropkick his knees. Dijak tapped at 18:25. Like most title matches since Yehi & Williams won the titles, this was good but not quite great. They did a good job of making fans believe Elgin and Dijak could win despite not being Evolve regulars. The champs fought from behind, using their smarts and technical acumen to overcome their size disadvantage. [***½]

Larry Dallas showed up to stir more shit. He claimed Yehi and Williams allowed Riddle to get hurt ahead of the WWN Title match on Saturday. Yehi said he hoped Riddle wasn’t hurt and looks forward to their match tomorrow. They sent Dallas packing, before Chris Dickinson and Jaka wanted to know where their title match was. Tracy wants them to focus on the matches signed for this weekend.

Evolve Championship: Zack Sabre Jr. (c) vs. ACH
Zack Sabre Jr. only brought out one of his titles. ACH startled him in the beginning with a soccer kick. Sabre retaliated with a kick of his own to the hand, looking to set up later submissions. He took the time to bend and twist ACH in awkward ways. ACH sold it well and Sabre continued to go after it. Sabre’s best matches are the ones where he doesn’t just do submissions for the sake of it, but here they made sense and focused on something. He caught an ACH dive into a submission but was too close to the ropes. ACH rallied by escaping a corner submission. He got close on a pinning combination and a bridging German suplex. Someone started a “USA” chant so the rest of the crowd booed him. ACH went into a flurry of offense only for his 450 splash to be caught in a triangle choke! He transitioned to another submission at 15:16 to make ACH submit. This was really good but lacked things to take it to the next level. I feel like ACH brought it but I wish Sabre sold some of his stuff better. Still, this was a worthy main event with some great moments. [***½]

Overall: 7/10. I’d say this was solid outing from Evolve. There were some things that missed the mark (Page/Theory, Thatcher/Dickinson, the Allin segment) but most of the show featured good matches. Riddle/Galloway is an intense sprint, the two title matches are both very good, the three way is fun and Ricochet/Lee was awesome. Consider that the first must-see match from the weekend.

The Architecture of NXT: Episode #122

The Architecture of NXT
Episode #122
June 20th, 2012 | Full Sail Arena in Winter Park, Florida

Yes, this is going to be a series covering NXT from the very first episode at Full Sail University. The WWE Network recently began adding the original Full Sail run, so I thought it would be fun to check that era out. Maybe one day they’ll add the hilarious NXT season three for me to review. Since I do the weekly reports for NXT on 411mania, I’ve seen and covered over two years’ worth of episodes. Eventually, this series will take me to revisit those, but that won’t be for a while.

So here it is. Episode #122 of NXT, but the first at Full Sail. Previously, NXT was a show where contestants did strange challenges and competed before being voted off by the fans. Wade Barrett, Kaval, Kaitlyn and Johnny Curtis won the first four seasons. The fifth season, titled “Redemption” was a long, strange journey that eventually went nowhere and was replaced by this. A new weekly third brand of developmental meant to give talent a feel for the main roster but on a smaller scale.

The show opens with shots of Superstars before explaining that NXT is the show of people trying to make their own history. Footage of Seth Rollins, Jason Jordan, Corey Graves, Xavier Woods, Tyson Kidd, Kassius Ohno, Paige, Derrick Bateman and several others are shown. The Coheed and Cambria “Welcome Home” intro > “Roar of the Crowd.”

It might not look like much compared to now, but this entire setup was awesome. Jim Ross comes out first and introduces the interim NXT General Manager, Dusty Rhodes! Dusty announces the main event as Tyson Kidd vs. Michael McGillicutty. They throw to a video package of a new NXT star, Bo Dallas. He comes across here as a massively generic babyface, plugging his family history. “I’ve got a smile that shines for miles, a fist that breaks bricks and a chin that won’t give in.” Wow.

Bo Dallas def. Rick Viktor in 2:17
This is pre-Ascension era Viktor. William Regal joins JR in the booth, giving us a splendid commentary tandem. He notes Viktor was the last man to come from the Hart Dungeon, which is a sad statement. Viktor gets no entrance and Bo treats him like a jobber. Viktor gets in a few early shots before Bo tosses him around the ring. Bo scores with a spear to win. THE ORIGINAL BIG DOG BO DALLAS! Not the hottest way to start a new show but it was clear they had early plans for Bo. NR

He gets interviewed atop the stage and says he came in with a game plan and executed it. It’s just the beginning.

VIGNETTE ~ Seth Rollins gets a video package. Though he isn’t on this episode, he instantly stuck out me since I loved him as Tyler Black. He debuts next week.

VIGNETTE ~ Former rugby player Antonio Cesaro! And he’s making out with Aksana! Remember these days? He also debuts next week.

Damien Sandow comes out for a match against future NXT Tag Team Champion, Jason Jordan. He has a mini-afro and it benefits him that he got a haircut down the line. Sandow introduces himself and it appalled at his unworthy opponent. He will not compete and does it for the benefit and welfare of the fans. That was a great way to showcase how much of a pretentious dick Sandow is.

VIGNETTE ~ WELOME TO THE WASTELANE! The OG Ascension, featuring Konnor and Kenneth Cameron (future ex-husband of Charlotte and TNA multi-contract signee Bram) get to cut a strange promo, which is over the top and rather funny.

RAW REBOUND ~ Since I’m not watching the weekly shows from 2012, this should be kind of fun. On Monday, John Laurinaitis had his goodbye after getting fired. He booked one final match, pitting himself, Big Show and David Otunga against John Cena. Show walked out due to his ironclad contract. Otunga in main events was a bad idea, but I actually really enjoyed Big Johnny as a GM. Being the bully that he is, Cena hit him with AA after AA.

The Ascension def. CJ Parker and Mike Dalton in 1:13
JUICE ROBINSON AND TYLER BREEZE! The Ascension’s entrance is over the top and a bit strange since it cuts to random shots of them, which could be confusing to some. Konnor had probably been in development for about a decade at this point. They just dominate and beat Parker with the Downcast. Another fine squash that did what it needed to. NR

VIGNETTE ~ It’s Bray Wyatt! Every single thing about this and the Bray character are so goddamn cool. The WWE made far too many mistakes with him as he could’ve been special.

Derrick Bateman is walking backstage and enters the men’s bathroom looking for Johnny Curtis. Johnny busts out of a stall and claims to be sick. Bateman thinks he’s faking it so he can get out of next week’s main event. They both have been pondering what they’re gonna do to each other next week. Curtis leaves and Bateman asks if he’s gonna wash his hands, so Curtis wipes them on Derrick’s shirt. I guess it’s Fandango vs. EC3 next week.

Tyson Kidd def. Michael McGillicutty in 13:33
Michael McGillicutty is such a stupid name. He was a runner-up in NXT season two, where he cut the ridiculously absurd “genesis of McGillicutty” promo. They go through a solid feeling out process, with Kidd winning out and causes McGillicutty to regroup outside. Knowing he has the power advantage, McGillicutty takes it to a test of strength, but Kidd uses his speed and athleticism to win out. McGillicutty turns it around a bit but gets sent outside and Kidd greets him with a tope suicida. After a short commercial, McGillicutty takes over. Props to Kidd for taking the Hart family sternum corner bump. Kidd gets a few hope spots and flash pins, but McGillicutty remains in control. He misfires when putting Kidd in the tree of woe and tries a baseball slide but hits the ring post. McGillicutty does Mr. Perfect like bumps when Kidd kicks him in the leg. It’s straight out of SummerSlam 1991. Kidd springboards into a dropkick, stopping his momentum. Kidd does score with a moonsault (JR incorrectly calls it a reverse moonsault) for two. McGillicutty avoids a submission and puts Kidd in the Sharpshooter, though he reaches the ropes. Kidd gets few rollup attempts before applying the Dungeon Lock, complete with kicks to the face, to get the win. Awesome main event. Two guys that are very talented in the ring but weren’t getting a chance to show if off on the main roster, so they made the first NXT main event their bitch. Great exchanges and I loved the callbacks to the Hart/Hennig rivalry. Maybe I’m going a bit high, but this was my kind of match. ***¾

Overall: 7/10. A strong effort for a first show. The two squashes were clearly nothing special, but accomplished the goals of establishing the Ascension and Bo Dallas. That’s key because they’d both play major parts in the early stages of NXT. The main event was great, I loved the commentary team and the production was top notch. This was a damn good way to let people know that NXT was different this time around.

Random Network Reviews: WWE Taboo Tuesday 2004

Taboo Tuesday 2005
November 1st, 2005 | iPayOne Center in San Diego, California | Attendance: 6,000

After the failure of This Tuesday in Texas, the WWE did away with the idea of a Tuesday night Pay-Per-View. That changed in 2004, when they brought in Taboo Tuesday. Considering the time period, the concept of the show made sense. Fans voted for various things like competitors, match types, etc. and their choices played out on screen. This would be the last of two Taboo Tuesday events before it was moved to Sundays as Cyber Sunday.

Right after the opening video, this goes straight to the opening match without much introduction from commentary. It is Joey Styles and Jerry Lawler on it though.

For the opener, the fans were choosing the Smackdown guys to face Chris Masters and Edge. Their options were Christian, Matt Hardy, Hardcore Holly, JBL and Rey Mysterio. This is also coming off of the heels of the personal Hardy/Edge rivalry. Lita and Edge get on the mic and say there’s no reason to compete because he doesn’t care about Matt, Raw or the fans. He brings out Snitsky as a replacement, so that’s extremely disappointing. 

Interpromotional Match
Chris Masters and Snitsky vs. Matt Hardy and Rey Mysterio
There are two referees in the ring, one from each brand. The heels attack quickly but Rey and Matt don’t stay down for long since they are resilient faces. It’s so odd watching both refs trying to do their jobs. Matt gets two on the Side Effect and then hits a damn second rope DDT on Snitsky. Surprisingly, it seems like Matt is going to take the heat here. Snitsky and Masters do well as the powerful heel combination for a bit. The hot tag eventually comes to Rey, but his hot streak can’t last long against his larger opponents. Masters gets Rey in the Masterlock, which nobody had broken at this point. Rey kicks off and lands on top of Masters, pinning his shoulders. The Smackdown ref counts but the Raw ref stops him. This leads to Rey and Matt diving out onto both opponents. Shortly after, Masters takes the 619, Twist of Fate and a springboard splash to lose.

Winners: Matt Hardy and Rey Mysterio in 13:46
Decent little opener here. Matt Hardy and Rey Mysterio made for a good team and Chris Masters and Snitsky worked better than expected. The two ref stuff was odd and I think it would have been better off with Rey taking the heat since he’s a better sympathetic babyface. This also screamed TV and not PPV match. **½

Eugene and Jimmy Snuka vs. Rob Conway and Tyson Tomko
What kind of hell is this? The fans had to choose between Jim Duggan, Jimmy Snuka and Kamala as Eugene’s partner. Eugene is in for the entire match, taking heat after a slightly hot start. Nothing that Rob Conway and Tyson Tomko do is really interesting in any way. Jimmy Snuka gets the mild tag, though Eugene still handles most of the work. He hits a rock bottom on Conway before Snuka nails the Superfly Splash and gets the 1-2-3.

Winners: Eugene and Jimmy Snuka in 6:21
This was pretty bad Jimmy Snuka clearly couldn’t do much and the other three guys in the match weren’t really good enough to overcome that. ¾*

Tyson Tomko tries to attack Jimmy Snuka after the bell, but Kalama and Jim Duggan show up to make the save and give the fans a nice little moment of nostalgia.

Carlito vs. Mankind
The fans got to vote on which of Mick Foley’s personalities would face Carlito tonight. Commentary puts over Mankind like he’s Cactus Jack, making me think they expected Cactus to win the vote. Mankind overwhelms Carlito early and often until he gets a steel chair. Carlito avoids it with a drop toe hold that sends Mankind and the chair into the steel steps. That turns the tide for Carlito, who ends up trying to choke Mankind out. Mankind fights out and pulls his hair out, to show how much he likes pain. To show that there’s still some Cactus in him, Mankind hits the Cactus apron elbow. Joey Styles pulls a Michael Cole and calls it VINTAGE MANKIND! Mankind pulls out Mr. Socko, complete with a Carlito like afro, and wins with the Mandible Claw.

Winner: Mankind in 7:22
I wouldn’t call this a really bad match but I wouldn’t call it good either. It was kind of just there. The fans got a nice little nostalgia moment again from Mankind but this didn’t really do anything for Carlito and was completely forgettable. **

Backstage, Vince McMahon shows up and is disappointed in Eric Bischoff for losing to Smackdown on his own Pay-Per-View.

Todd Grisham now shows us who the fans voted to join John Cena and Kurt Angle in the main event. Shawn Michaels obviously beats out Kane and Big Show for the slot. That means Show and Kane will now team up.

World Tag Team Championship
Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch (c) vs. Big Show and Kane
The challengers go after the champions outside. Lance Cade throws a fit to hype himself up, trying to overcome his fear, but it fails. Cade and Murdoch try to get the upper hand, but Big Show and Kane seem to be too much. Each time it seems like they may have an opening, Show or Kane shrug off their offense and kick their asses. The champions finally do something of note after knocking Kane off the top and hitting Sweet and Sour outside. They work a very short heat segment on Kane before Show gets the tag and dominates. Kane and Show double Chokeslam Cade to give us new champions.

Winners and New World Tag Team Champions: Big Show and Kane in 7:59
Oh man, this was not very good. I get that Kane and Big Show are big men but this did nothing but make Cade and Murdoch look like chumps. There wasn’t really any structure to this match, as they seemed to just kill time until the end. *

For some reason, Trevor Murdoch yells at Kane that he didn’t get chokeslammed. You know, because that’s more important than being upset about losing the belts. He eats a double Chokeslam himself.

Todd Grisham brings out the Divas because the fans are about to choose what they wear for the upcoming battle royal. The fans choose lingerie over cheerleaders and leather and lace.

Non-Title Street Fight
World Heavyweight Champion Batista vs. Jonathan Coachman w/ Goldust and Vader
For this match, the fans choose between arm wrestling match, debate or street fight. Yea, that was an obvious outcome. Coach was supposed to face Steve Austin but that couldn’t happen and instead, Austin couldn’t make it and Batista replaced him. Yes, the two men with Coach are super random. Due to there being no real rules in this, Coach sends his henchmen in to pound on Batista. Goldust even brings a kendo stick into play. Coach whips Batista with a belt until the “Animal” comes back and starts whipping everyone. He then plants Coach with the Batista Bomb to end it.

Winner: Batista in 4:22
Not much to really discuss here. Batista took a short beating, came back and won like the World Champion should. It wasn’t very fun though, despite seeing guys like Goldust and Vader. Matches like this really showed why the brand exclusive PPVs had issues a lot of the time. ½*

Shawn Michaels is interviewed about getting voted into the main event for the second straight Taboo Tuesday. HBK says it’s good to be the popular kid. Kurt Angle interrupts to say he doesn’t like Shawn but wants to put their differences aside to take out John Cena. Shawn responds by saying that he’ll think about.

WWE Women’s Championship Fulfill Your Fantasy Battle Royal
Trish Stratus (c) vs. Ashley Massaro vs. Candice Michelle vs. Maria Kanellis vs. Mickie James vs. Victoria
Because I’m this kind of guy, I’m going to rank the girls based on how they look tonight. Trish, Mickie, Ashley, Maria, Candice and Victoria. This starts as a standard women’s battle royal but there is added intrigue here because of the Trish and Mickie story. Mickie saves Trish from elimination a few times. Maria, the interviewer, is first out courtesy of Mickie and Trish. Like an idiot, Candice showboats after a move on the apron and is knocked out. Victoria hits the best move of the match with a big tilt-a-whirl slam on Trish. Victoria eliminates Ashley next. Victoria and Trish go at it, with Trish nearly getting eliminated but Mickie saves her. Victoria again nearly eliminates Trish, but Mickie again saves her, before brawling Victoria to the outside and sacrificing herself so Trish can retain.

Winner and Still WWE Women’s Champion: Trish Stratus in 5:23
The actual wrestling in the match wasn’t the greatest, but the story told in this made it lightyears better than other women’s battle royals. Mickie saving her idol Trish so many times was part of the bigger story that led to Mickie and Trish having a great WrestleMania match in my favorite women’s storyline of all time. The outfits worn helped the enjoyment factor too. **¼ 

WWE Intercontinental Championship Steel Cage Match
Ric Flair (c) vs. Triple H
The rivalry between these two guys was pretty well done. The fans voted the Steel Cage match over a straight up match and submission match since Ric Flair basically begged for it on TV leading up to this. There is certainly tension in the air as they trade blows in the early stages. HHH is the first to send his opponent into the steel and Flair is instantly gushing blood. He continues the assault, grating Flair’s’ face across the cage for a gruesome visual. He tries to leave but Flair catches up and they both get crotched. Triple H gets a chain and uses it to pulverize Flair some more. Flair’s loud selling is good here as he sounds like he’s in absolute agony. To add insult to injury, HHH locks in the Figure Four. Flair is able to counter and send HHH into the steel. Triple H is now bleeding and Flair pounces, even biting him. Flair lays into Triple H and takes him down with the chop block. Joey Styles does a great job in pointing to the leg as a weak point for the Game after his quad injury. HHH survives the Figure Four but gets hit with a low blow. A chair gets brought into play and Flair stops HHH from using it with the TESTICULAR CLAW! Flair then levels Triple H with the chair and escapes the cage.

Winner and Still WWE Intercontinental Champion: Ric Flair in 23:45
An absolutely gruesome match. There were buckets of blood spilled and it was certainly brutal. They told a good story and had the match I expected from these two. Their next encounter later in the month was better, but this was still pretty damn good and our match of the night so far. ***½

WWE Championship
John Cena (c) vs. Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels
Within five seconds, Kurt Angle already takes out Shawn Michaels to squander any ides of them teaming up. The guys go through the classic “two guys in the ring while one is thrown outside” scenarios. When everybody is in together, the match it at its best. Angle starts suplexing the world with Germans and overhead belly-to-belly suplexes for everyone. Michaels counters the Ankle Lock, sending Angle right into the FU. Angle blocks and Cena almost gets hit Sweet Chin Music, but he blocks it too. That was a pretty cool sequence. Shawn and Kurt end up working together to take out Cena. Not content with just tossing him outside, they double front suplex him through the Spanish announce table. Now Angle and Michaels start going at each other, which makes sense given their rivalry during 2005. They were tied at one and then the rubber match was a draw, so this a treat. After some great back and forth, Angle hits a top rope Angle Slam but Shawn kicks out. THE STRAPS ARE DOWN! Cena is back though and takes out Angle. Shawn survives Cena’s attacks and somersaults onto Angle outside. Inside, Shawn goes into some of his trademark comeback offense on both guys. Angle stops him in his tracks with a belly to belly that sends him outside. He turns into Cena, who does his Five Knuckle Shuffle stuff. Angle avoids the FU and applies the ankle lock. Just a few months into Cena’s reign and the fans are very mixed already. Cena struggles to avoid tapping and Michaels breaks it with an elbow on Angle. My only issue with that is that Shawn took his time climbing, which made sense because he’s selling, but was a dumb move overall because Cena may have tapped. Sweet Chin Music to Angle and then Cena hits the FU on Michaels to retain.

Winner and still WWE Champion: John Cena in 16:42
A great capper to a pretty lackluster show. While John Cena would go on to become significantly better in the ring, he was clearly a step behind his opponents at this point. Despite that, the work between Angle and Michaels was spectacular, and the closing minutes of this were pretty damn awesome. Paint by numbers finish, but still a great match that probably would have been an all-time classic with a more polished Cena. ***¾

Overall: 3.5/10; Not good. Honestly, this was on the way to being one of the worst Pay-Per-Views I have ever seen. Nothing during the first two hours was worth watching. The Divas Battle Royal was okay and then the final two matches saved this from being abysmal. Those two matches are worth checking out but other than that, skip this show. Next up on “Random Network Reviews” will beSummerSlam 2009!