Smackdown Report 9-5-14

The lack of an actual intro video bothers me more than it probably should. John Cena opens things to play to the crowd and promote his upcoming rematch with Brock Lesnar. He talks about his usual stuff but then says that he wants to beat Brock because he's not at the end of his line like people think. Kane and Seth Rollins come out and Cena must read my blog as he calls them poster children for Men's Warehouse. Roman Reigns interrupts to cut the same promo he's been cutting since the Shield split. I smell a Teddy Long tag team match. The Wyatts magically appear but John Cena eats them alive so this shouldn't be a problem. Chris Jericho comes out with Big Show and Mark Henry because the more the merrier I guess. Triple H now, my goodness, this is too much. He actually impersonates Teddy Long and makes a ten men tag team match. THE TEDDY LONG THEME ACTUALLY PLAYS! 

The Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler would meet Cesaro in the opening contest tonight. These are two guys who pretty much never have a bad match and this was no different. Sheamus was on commentary and it irks me to no end that because we have to get 44 recaps throughout the show, we can't see the wrestlers come to the ring. This got about ten minutes and Dolph won with a rollup. Post match, Sheamus continues to be the biggest cheap shot hitter in the WWE as he nails Cesaro with a Brogue Kick.

Stardust and Goldust continue to be bizarre in a backstage segment before the cameras cut to a match between Jimmy Uso and Heath Slater. Jey Uso is selling his leg injury hard as he has a crutch. Jimmy Uso is able to win a short bout and it's officially announced that the Usos will face the Dust Brothers for the WWE Tag Team Titles at Night of Champions. That honestly should steal the show or it at least has the potential to do so. After a Raw divas recap, Stephanie McMahon announces that Paige will defend the WWE Divas Championship against AJ Lee and Nikki Bella at Night of Champions.

Byron Saxton, who has lost all commentary jobs besides NXT, interviews Nikki Bella who thanks Stephanie McMahon for the Divas Title opportunity. Lana and Rusev arrive to talk about how Rusev is going to destroy Mark Henry once he gets the chance. Same old promo as always, but Lana always looks fine. AJ Lee joins commentary for the upcoming Divas match and Nikki Bella is also out there, but she's not talking. 

Paige and Brie have only wrestled once before and it was interrupted by Kane back in April. Paige mocks Brie in the early goings which was funny. AJ and Nikki end up getting into it outside and Brie goes to break it up. Once she gets back inside, Paige greets her with the RamPaige DDT and ends things. Brie, ever the good girl, is unable to triumph here. I feel that either she will be added to the Night of Champions match or she will cost Nikki the match. At least I hope so. I don't want the Title near the Bellas.

We get a Wyatt Family promo, which no longer seem to captivate me the way they used to. Maybe it's because Bray Wyatt is no longer a threat. Anyway, this is followed by a singles bout between the inspiration Bo Dallas and Zack Ryder. Because he's Ryder, he loses. In less than a minute. He goes to turn "We the People" into "Bo-Lieve in Me" or something like that after the match but it brings out Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter. Swagger and Bo trade shots and Swagger wins out by knocking Bo out of the ring.

Main event time as ten of the biggest superstars in the WWE went at it in a huge tag team match. Okay, maybe ten of the biggest is a stretch but whatever. This was given a lot of time, about 25 minutes, and everybody got a chance to shine. It did not end with a winner though as things broke out. After the match, the brawl continued until the faces all busted out their finishers on the heels. Typical stuff, but it was entertaining at least. A decent episode of Smackdown that wasn't just a throwaway so that's good. 6/10.

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