Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Raw Report 9-15-14

Raw kicks off with Paul Heyman, the man who can build a match better than anyone. He promotes John Cena/Brock Lesnar until he's cut off by Cena. When he goes to introduce Brock, it turns out that Brock's flight has been delayed, so the WWE is saving Brock for Halftime of Monday Night Football and telling the fans this in advance. Cena decides that if Brock can't make it he's going to beat up Paul Heyman. So much for the anti-bullying "Be A Star" campaign huh? The WWE app informs us that Heyman is locked in a room with The Great Khali as security. Heyman made this watchable, but overall, this sucked.

Chris Jericho's knee injury from last week has vanished and he stepped into the ring with Corporate "Over the Hill" Kane. This was your basic match between both guys. They didn't have much chemistry in 2000 and it's not great here, however they did run through the commercial. It wasn't bad but it wasn't good. So, even though he's lost about 10,000 matches in his career, Kane only lost due to an exposed turnbuckle because he needs to be protected for some reason. Whatever. We also get hype for Mark Henry/Rusev and it's announced that Henry will be "rallying America" tonight.

Roman Reigns is interviewed by the perfection that is Renee Young and we see a video of the Shield splitting. I guess they need to remind Roman every week since he totally forgot about the Shield splitting for like, two months. Apparently, he's going to face Seth Rollins tonight so that should end in a no contest of sorts to protect the Pay-Per-View. Jack Swagger beats Bo Dallas next in about six minutes and I have no clue what the plan is for Bo Dallas at this point. Also, it's announced that the Night of Champions Pre-Show will be one hour. I would complain but that's an extra thirty minutes of Renee Young.

It's time for my favorite part of Raw, Paige and AJ Lee. The Bellas are there too though. It's AJ and Brie Bryan taking on Paige and Boob Bella. Basic divas stuff and they made sure to keep Nikki and Brie separate. Paige won cleanly for her team and Nikki dropped Brie with that Rack move after the match. AJ and Paige decided to skip for a while after. Not my favorite Paige/AJ segment but I didn't hate it. We also get Smackdown highlights, a nonsense Bray Wyatt promo and then more shenanigans from Paul Heyman and the Great Khali.

Bray Wyatt faced the Big Show next in a match that could actually be Pay-Per-View quality but who needs that huh? Show could put over Bray in a short feud and maybe help get the momentum back that Bray lost so fast. This was decent but could've been better. As soon as it looked like Show was on the verge of a win, Luke Harper and Erick Rowan ran into the ring to cause the disqualification. Show beat them up as Bray laughed in his rocking chair. Man, Bray has quickly gone from incredibly interesting to someone I don't care about at all.

Six man tag team time as two of the feuds going into Night of Champions come to a head. The Usos team with Sheamus to take on Goldust, Stardust and Cesaro. It irks me to no end that they call them "Gold and Stadust". It's grammatically incorrect. They mention that Jey Uso's leg injury is somehow magically 100% healed just like Chris Jericho earlier in the show. Cesaro mocked the "Ten Beats of wherever" and Sheamus cleaned house once he got the hot tag. This was a fun six man tag that was probably the best part of the show.

On this one hour Night of Champions Pre-Show, Christian returns to host the Peep Show, with special guest Chris Jericho. I don't know why. We see clips of Mark Henry's Olympic run, showing that the WWE would mention Olympics from 1996 but forget wrestling that happened a year ago. John Cena doesn't want to give Brock until the halfway point of the show, he gives him until halftime of the Monday Night Football game for real. Cena decides not to attack Heyman because he won't stoop to that level. I guess John Laurinaitis and the beating he took years ago from Cena are above that level. Brock shows up, they brawl and Brock dominates. Cena uses cheap shots to take advantage. This was intense and should have closed the show.

To promote Total Divas and the episode that focused on the split of The Funkadactyls, we get a match between Cameron and Naomi. It's been a while since we've seen Cameron. The WWE acts like Total Divas happens in present day, when it's recorded months prior. Anyway, this somehow was given more time than the tag match earlier. Total Divas > Divas Championship in the eyes of the company. I'm also going to bunch in the weekly Smackdown rematch here, as Dolph Ziggler and R-Ziggler beat The Miz and Damien Mizdow again. The booking team is so lazy it hurts.

So it's time for Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins. As they make it through a commercial it seems like this is actually happening. Teddy Long, where are you to turn this into a tag team match playa? Roman Reigns wins cleanly. What the fuck was that? Don't get me wrong, it was a good match, but why would you give this away for free? Isn't the object to get subscribers to the WWE Network? Instead, you give away a big first time ever match on Raw. The week before. With a clean finish. Why the hell would I be inclined to order the Pay-Per-View? Stupid booking.

Final segment time and it looks like it's going to be Mark Henry rallying America against Rusev. Are you serious? I'm all for mid-card feuds main eventing shows but not when it's a feud that not many people care about. Henry decides to not go back to the red, white and blue gear so I cared even less. He tries to get sympathy for the country so Lana and Rusev interrupt. She badmouths Obama, puts over Putin and it's the usual stuff. They end up brawling and for some reason this went 15 minutes over. A three hour Raw should only go over 11:00PM if it's something big. Not this. The crowd didn't care. Awful ending.

This was a weird ass Raw. You give away a Pay-Per-View match for free six days beforehand and are still having the match this Sunday. You have a mid-card feud go on last on the go home show. You put the part time Champion on in the mid-card because people who watch Monday Night Football tune into Raw during halftime I guess. Whatever. This was a poor go home show and the lazy booking/writing continues. 3/10.