Tuesday, April 4, 2017

GCW Joey Janela's Spring Break Review

GCW Joey Janela’s Spring Break
March 30th, 2017 | Orlando Live Events Center in Fern Park, Florida

I don’t know anything about Game Changer Wrestling, but this show was part of the FloSlam weekend of events and had too wacky of a card for me to pass up. I’m coming into this expecting wild fun, so I don’t expect to be too serious in this review.

The show opened with a strange video package of Joey Janela trying to raise money for a match with Marty Jannetty. He buys a teapot and licks it (not kidding) and out pops SCOTT HALL THE GENIE! Hall grants him wishes, which he uses on a match with Jannetty.

Cut to the arena, which has knockoff MONDAY NITRO THEME! 10/10 give this show all the stars already.

Kyle The Beast vs. Sami Callihan
I’ve never liked Sami Callihan and this is my first look at Kyle The Beast. They started out wild, with dive after dive before the bell even rang. The crowd was considerably hot for everything and I love how the arena was set up to have beach balls and other spring break related items around. These two brought the big spots like a powerbomb, jackhammer and air raid crash. It’s good fun. Callihan got the win with the Stretch Muffler at 9:45. This is when Sami is at his best. Short sprints of big offense. It was a good way to start the show. [***]

Post-match, Sami put Kyle The Beast over. Kyle impressed me and finding new guys is one of the best things about Mania weekend.

Allie and Braxton Sutter vs. Andy Williams and Penelope Ford
Allie came out with bunny ears and looked as adorable as ever. Andy Williams isn’t a wrestler and is part of the band Everytime I Die. He’s a big motherfucker though. Allie interrupted his entrance but was treated to “Fuck TNA” and “Fuck that owl” chants. She berated Andy until he clotheslined her to start the match. Since there are relaxed rules a GODDAMN DOOR was brought in as a weapon. Props to Sutter for taking a bump from Andy through it. Allie and Penelope handled a good share of the work. I got a chuckle out of watching Williams bump for Allie. Ford busted out some impressive athletic spots before doing an assisted moonsault off Andy to pin Sutter at 8:08. Again, most of this was fun and was not to be taken too seriously. Andy looked alright for a non-wrestler, while Allie and Ford played their roles well. [**¼]

GCW Heavyweight Championship Anything Goes Falls Count Anywhere: Matt Tremont (c) vs. Eddie Kingston
The Anything Goes stipulation was added last minute. I’ve never seen Tremont but Kingston is from my neck of the woods in New York. Still not a big fan of his though. Another door came out early but it was the tip of the iceberg. This was bloody within minutes. They fought around the arena but the camera couldn’t see most of it clearly, making for a lackluster outing. After getting back to the ring, Tremont retained with a DVD though a table at 10:42. Not exactly my cup of tea. [¾*]

Joey Janela’s Spring Break Clusterfuck: Arik Cannon vs. Bryan Idol vs. Crazy Boy vs. Dink vs. Ethan Page vs. Façade vs. Glacier vs. Invisible Man vs. Jervis Cottonbelly vs. Jimmy Lloyd vs. John Silver vs. Travis Gordon vs. Veda Scott
You can win by pinfall, submission or DEATH! Amazing. Travis Gordon and Façade kicked things off. Awesome referee Bryce Remsburg showed up to work this. Each minute, a new participant joins. Gordon did a bunch of kip-ups until John Silver joined at three. He had “I JUST HAD SEX” as his theme. The lovely Veda Scott, who I have a total crush on entered fourth. She fired off chops but ate a horrible looking superkick. Silver made up for it with a good one right after. I’m not gonna recap each entrant to be honest. Jervis got a pop though the crowd was confused at the Invisible Man entrant until it was officially announced. Shoutout to the guys who bumped for him. At some point, Veda bit her tongue and bled a fair amount. OH MY GOD, JIMMY LLOYD CAME OUT TO THE MENU THEME FROM WWF NO MERCY! The eliminated started coming shortly after this. Arik Cannon had a Steve Austin spot right before GLACIER arrived. Dink, the smartest man in the match, came in, bit Veda’s ass and literally just left. Ethan Page got a ton of heat for eliminating crowd favorite Veda. It came down to Page and Glacier. THE MORTAL KOMBAT THEME HIT AND PAGE EVEN STOOD LIKE A FIGHTER FROM THE GAME! That deserves all the stars too. Page then swiftly rolled him up to win. BUT WAIT! Jimmy Lloyd was still in. Lloyd took a beating from Page and the Gatekeepers, but kept kicking out. A miscommunication allowed Lloyd to steal it at 36:03 with a piledriver variation. If you coming into this with a serious mind, you’ll probably leave annoyed. I wanted a clusterfuck of fun in a match called a clusterfuck and they mostly delivered. Not everything hit but Veda, the Invisible Man stuff, Glacier, Dink and the Mortal Kombat stuff all got pops from me. [**½]

Keith Lee vs. Lio Rush
If there was any match I wanted to see on this card as a legit contest, it was this. Lee showed that though he’s much larger, he’s nearly as quick as Rush. Whenever Lee caught Rush, it resulted in Rush getting slammed to the mat like a ragdoll. It’s almost a perfect contrast here. It’s scary how easily Lee could destroy Rush. Lee escaped certain death up top and managed to carry Lee from there into a death valley driver! He nailed a frog splash but Lee kicked out with such aggression that Rush went FLYING! Bryce Remsburg got taken out, leading the fans to chant for Earl Hebner, who was booked for a run-in since they couldn’t afford him for a full match. He didn’t come out. Rush rallied and hit a trio of frog splashes to win at 13:57. I was surprised with the result. I don’t think Lee should be losing as often as he has, though a result on this show is no big deal. This was similar to the awesome Ricochet/Lee match from earlier in the day but on a smaller scale. [***½]

Joey Janela vs. Marty Jannetty
STILL CAN’T WALK! Look at Joey not booking himself in the main event. Marty looks like shit, though I expected that. By this point, the crowd seemed out of it. It was about 2:10 AM or so. Janela worked heat on Marty in and around the ring for a while. He hit the referee with a superkick. The crowd wanted Hebner but instead we got several other referees, who Janela all took out. Hebner finally showed up as Janela applied a Sharpshooter. He decided against a screw job and did his shoving spot with Janela before being laid out too. To top it all off, VIRGIL came out. He beat up Janela but was taken out before Marty hit a GODDAMN CANADIAN DESTROYER! Jannetty got a near fall with a Rocker Dropper on a chair before Janela won with a superkick at 12:13. All the smoke and mirrors helped this since Marty couldn’t really go, though his Canadian Destroyer was a surprise. It felt like it dragged though and wasn’t as fun as other stuff on the card. [**]

Janela got on the microphone after the bell and put over himself, Marty and the show. Marty contemplated hitting him with a chair but decided against it. Marty got on the mic after, putting over Janela and struggling through his promo.

Dan Severn vs. Matt Riddle
Severn had a bunch of guys with him carrying replicas of the titles he’s held, while Riddle had David Starr in his corner. This played out the way it needed to. They kept it short at 8:50 and focused on grappling and striking. Despite his age, Severn kept up with Riddle in those aspects, making for a good contest. He threw Germans, which Riddle no sold to my delight. Riddle got trapped in a brutal looking dragon sleeper, but elbowed out and turned it into the Bromission to secure the victory. This was very enjoyable and got the right amount of time to keep the crowd into it. [***¼]

Overall: 7/10. If we’re looking at this show from a pure wrestling standpoint, it’s not good. But, it was never meant to be that. I went in looking to have fun on a show filled with wacky stuff and that’s what I got. Some things missed the mark (Jannetty/Janela and the GCW Title match) but most matches were either straight up good (Severn/Riddle and Rush/Lee) or fun (the Allie tag and the clusterfuck). It was a nice change of pace from the rest of Mania weekend.