Saturday, January 24, 2015

Impact Wrestling Report 1/23/15

Tonight on Impact Wrestling, we open with a TNA institution, Feast or Fired. For those new to TNA, this is a bigbattle royal type match with four briefcases suspended around the ring. They contain a World Title shot, X Division Title shot, Tag Team Title shot and the final one has a pink slip. Obviously, a vast majority of the roster was involved. Early on, Velvet Sky shakes her ass into the screen and I barely registered anything that happened after that. She would then climb up and retrieve the first briefcase for Robbie E. Magnus and Bram work well together as Josh Matthews reminds us that nobody has successfully cashed in the World Title shot before. So it's like the opposite of Money in the Bank. Rockstar Spud became the focal point of the match and he is able to secure the second briefcase. The crowd loves him. Austin Aries then looks to go for the heat seeking missile, but instead tricks everyone and grabs the third briefcase! He then does the move anyway and leaves with it. Like Rockstar Spud, he's loved by the fans, but in a different way. The focus of the match now turns to the teamwork between Bram and Magnus. It's been a long time since we've seen Magnus, who was actually TNA World Champion at the start of last year. Bram, Magnus and Gunner do a good old Tower of Doom spot, but it was Magnus powerbombing his friend Bram, which led to him getting the final briefcase. As expected, the match was fun and included some cool spots. The ten or so minutes that it took went by quickly. Backstage, Lashley arrives and is looking for his title since MVP and the Beat Down Clan hijacked it from him last week. After the commercial break, Bram and Magnus get into it over the finish to the match. I assume Magnus will have the Tag Team Title shot and need a partner.

Bobby Lashley comes out and just simply demands his title back. Wise to keep it short and sweet since he can't really talk. Kenny King interrupts and says that Lashley used to be family but he's not anymore. He wants to fight Lashley but only if the Beat Down Clan join him at ringside. As MVP comes out, he has the TNA World Title in his hands. They brawl but the match is relatively short as the BDC enter and cause the disqualification. MVP tells Lashley that if he wants the title, he'll have to meet him out in the streets later. Well, I wanted a Kenny King match, but not one this short. Moving along, a recap airs highlighting Awesome Kong and her return. Havok meets Gail Kim next, which is wise booking. Havok and Kong want each other, Kim had classics with Kong and knows her better than anyone, PLUS it was Kim who was pinned causing Havok to lose her Knockouts Title. The match starts in the ramp because of their history of not liking each other. Gail Kim is one of those girls that I can always watch. Havok is violent throughout and shoves the referee, resulting in the DQ. Not a fan of two straight DQs, but out comes Kong! They have a face off again but finally hit each other as Kong clotheslines Havok outside. When they meet, it's going down.

The Revolution is still the strangest stable in history. Their newest member, Koya, made his debut and he just adds to how odd they are together. He beats Tigre Uno in about a minute. I'm still not sold on this group. It's like TNA told James Storm to take a bunch of guys who don't go together and do something with them. He cuts a post match promo on Matt Hardy, who he faces later. He brings up Storm beating his personal demons, but says he is bigger than any demon he's faced before. Kurt Angle and Bobby Roode talk backstage before their tag match, when they team up to face Eric Young and Low Ki. Roode just wants EY. The tag match is next and it's solid. They played the story of Roode being solely focused on EY, which allows Low Ki to roll him up and get the win. Good for the first hour main event. EC3 does the ring announcement because he's facing the ring announcer. JB is with Spud, and gets love at ringside from his fiance and the winner of British Bootcamp. Carter has a HUGE brace on his arm for his torn bicep. EC3 badmouths JB until he strikes. EC3 gets teh better, spits at Spud, which brings him in for the no contest I guess. A brawl ensues, Tyrus enters until British Bootcamp II winner Mark Andrews jumps the rail. They send off EC3 and hit Tyrus with a double dropkick. Spud dives out onto him, before Andrews follows with a pretty Shooting Star Press! That was fun.

James Storm met Matt Hardy next, which is fine since the Hardys are the number one contenders for the TNA World Tag Team Titles. Not much to write home about here as Hardy wins with a small package in about five minutes. Post match, Abyss attacks Matt so Jeff runs out to make the save. He then challenges Abyss to a Monster's Ball match next week. What is this, 2004? Time to reveal the Feast of Fired cases. Christy Hemme is hosting. She used to be a lot hotter. Robbie E steals the show, being a total dickbag. He even sings "You are the wind beneath my wings." We start with Case #4 to make Spud nervous. It is revealed that he has an X Division Title shot! I was right, Magnus has a World Tag Team Title shot. He better go make up with Bram. Robbie is now worried, but Austin Aries is confident. Robbie realizes that Velvet Sky grabbed the suitcase so he puts her in the chair. She opens it and has the pink slip! I like Robbie being around, but I'll miss the eye candy that is Velvet. Using the process of elimination, Aries has the World Title. I said it in recent weeks, let's get Aries back to the top of the company. Side note, it's hilarious when they cut from crying Velvet to pumped up Robbie. Lashley goes outside and the Street Fight begins. The BDC get involves, so Angle and Roode help. Roode gets the belt out of the trash and holds it, while Lashley looks on like "give me my belt please." 

In the end, TNA produced another solid episode. Actually, this might have been my favorite one. Feast or Fired made for fun TV, hopefully Austin Aries is our next World Champion, Kong and Havok continue to be show stopping and EC3 once again was awesome. All in all, Impact is becoming a show that's worth watching. 7/10