Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Raw History: Episodes #85-87

Raw History
Episode #85
November 7th, 1994 | Fernwood Resort in Bushkill, Pennsylvania

Vince McMahon is hosting with Jerry Lawler since Randy Savage has now left the company.

WWF Champion Bret Hart and the British Bulldog vs. Owen Hart and Jim Neidhart
This sounds like a pretty hot start. Surprisingly, it is Bulldog and Bet that attack as the heels make their entrance. When things settle down, Bret and the Anvil go at it. Neidhart tries a bearhug but Bret bites him in the forehead to break the hold. Bulldog gets tagged, making it a battle of powerhouses. We don’t get much of that though as Owen Hart comes in to work with Bulldog. Vince informs us that Bulldog and Owen will be in the corners of Bret and Bob Backlund at Survivor Series. An enziguri puts Bulldog on his ass. That leads to Bulldog playing the face in peril. I know Bret’s the WWF Champion, but it is a big weird to see Bulldog playing the role. Bret gets tired of Owen’s shenanigans and chases him around the ring until the official stops him. Owen and Anvil uses the Hart Attack to mess with Bret. They really milk the heat, giving a false hot tag. That actually comes right before the hot tag, which doesn’t happen often. Bret hits both opponents, even busting out the DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER! Owen uses underhanded tactics to turn the tide and Bret is in trouble. Bulldog takes care of Owen as Bret locks Neidhart in the Sharpshooter. Anvil submits.

Winners: Bret Hart and British Bulldog in 14:14
Really solid tag team match here. It had a very old school feel to it but was mixed in with some fun offense that I’d expect in this era. One of the best matches on Raw all year. ***½

Todd Pettengill brings us the Survivor Series Report! He doesn’t bring us any new information.

Bam Bam Bigelow w/ Ted Dibiase vs. Tyron Knox
Bigelow pretty much toys with Knox for way longer than he should. He does all of the offense but stalls a bit to make this last longer.

Winner: Bam Bam Bigelow in 4:40
Would have been okay if it was cut in half.

Vince McMahon now speaks to the camera to tell the viewers at home that Randy Savage’s WWF contract is up. He wishes him the best and says that he is Savage’s number one fan.

The King’s Court is now up with the 1-2-3 Kid as the guest. Next week, he takes on Bob Backlund. Lawler asks him about the match and Kid does his usual “I’ll give it 110%” speech. Backlund shows up to attack Kid, but gets sent outside. Bret Hart shows up to stand tall with the Kid. Owen Hart and Jim Neidhart come out to calm Backlund down.

Doink vs. Pat Tanaka
Pat Tanaka’s still around? Anyway, Doink has Clowns R’ Us with him, the team of little people that will be his partners at the Survivor Series. Dink talks to the camera and has a voice that I wouldn’t expect him to have. Doink wins with the Whoopee Cushion.

Winner: Doink in 3:17
This was standard squash match fare.

Overall: 7.5/10. A really fun episode of Raw. Granted the Bigelow squash went too long and the Doink match was kind of just there, but other than those eight or so minutes, this was good stuff. The marquee tag match was good and the King’s Court was kept short and to the point. Solid stuff here.

Raw History
Episode #86
November 14th, 1994 | Fernwood Resort in Bushkill, Pennsylvania

Vince McMahon’s revolving door of guests brings us Ted Dibiase this week. Also, the WWE Network informs us that there were technical difficulties with the episode so a chunk of it is missing.

Most likely due to those issues, we join Bob Backlund vs. 1-2-3 Kid in progress, with Backlund making him submit to the Crossface Chicken Wing. Backlund won’t release the hold, bringing Bret Hart out. Officials get in between the two after Backlund lets go. Backlund nearly get his hold on Bret but lets him go quickly. He goes outside and gets a microphone, saying that he just wanted to remind Bret that the hold could be applied at any time. Bret nearly applies the Sharpshooter on him now, and then says that at Survivor Series, he will never let go.

Mabel w/ Oscar vs. Blue Phantom
Oscar’s pre-match rap is among his worst ever. He kind of just forgets stuff while trying to mention Mabel’s Survivor Series partners. Mabel even gets pyro. I know that Gangrel was the Black Phantom but I’m unsure if this is him too. He’s wearing black anyway so I don’t get the name. Mabel dominates and wins.

Winner: Mabel in 2:00
Kept short, which is how I like my Mabel matches.

Our Survivor Series Report again brings us nothing new. Todd Pettengill does make a rare reference to Vince McMahon’s money here. He asks “how does it feel to sit next to someone with so much money, Ted?”

Jeff Jarrett vs. Gary Sabough
Sabough manages to score some spots including a sunset flip and even gets a near fall. That’s probably the most offense a jobber will get tonight. Jarrett turns it around and wins with the Figure Four.

Winner: Jeff Jarrett in 3:12
Mostly basic but it was alright to see the jobber get in some stuff.

IRS cuts a boring promo on death not allowing someone to escape taxes. Same old, same old.

Owen Hart is the guest on the King’s Court this week. Owen promises not to throw in the Arnold Skaaland towel at Survivor Series, while Lawler claims that in his mind, Backlund is still champion from 1983. That’s right Jerry, Hulkamania never happened. The second guest is the British Bulldog. Owen doesn’t want Davey to throw the towel in immediately when the Crossface Chicken Wing gets locked in because he wants Bret to suffer. Davey promises he won’t throw the towel in and that Bret won’t even get put in the hold.

Aldo Montoya vs. Brooklyn Brawler
Oh, the debut of the “Portuguese Man-o-War”! The future Justin Credible gets to shine since the Brawler almost never really does any offense. Scratch what I said, he hits a neckbreaker but then goes after the back which is an odd choice. Montoya wins with a cross body.

Winner: Aldo Montoya in 2:39
Not bad for a first match.

Ted Dibiase gets in the ring because he was impressed by Aldo Montoya. He offers him a spot in the Million Dollar Corporation. Montoya speaks what sounds like nonsense but is supposed to be Portuguese. He then takes out money and shows it to Montoya. Aldo responds by telling him to take the money and shove it in his ear. Well that was certainly an interesting insult.

Before the show ends, Alundra Blayze is interviewed. She says that she is going to face Bull Nakano for the Women’s Championship on November 20th in the Tokyo Dome.

Overall: 4/10. Considering the Backlund/Kid match was cut, that really could have helped the score here. The rest of the matches were squashes that weren’t great. However, the King’s Court segment was alright and the Bret/Backlund altercation ruled, saving this episode from a dreadful score.

Raw History
Episode #87
November 21st, 1994 | Fernwood Resort in Bushkill, Pennsylvania

We start with the entrance of Razor Ramon, who was supposed to face Diesel. The Teamsters all come out and attack Razor, putting our big match in jeopardy.

Vince McMahon’s co-host this week is Jim Cornette. They introduce the show in front of a terrible green screen.

Tatanka w/ Ted Dibiase vs. Chris Kanyon
Is it weird that I feel Kanyon is the superior worker in this match? Tatanka holds serve as Kanyon is just there to take a beating. He bumps rather well, making Tatanka’s offense look far better than it actually is. Kanyon actually gets two on a cross body. Tatanka wins with his finish.

Winner: Tatanka in 4:39
Better than your usual Tatanka squash thanks to Kanyon, who is the MVP of this show right now.

Adam Bomb vs. Jason Arndt
Jason Arndt was a recent victim of the Crossface Chicken Wing so Adam Bomb actually goes after the arm. Look at that guy being sensible. Vince McMahon informs us that Bull Nakano defeated Alundra Blayze in the Tokyo Dome, so we have a new Women’s Champion. Adam ends it with a pumphandle slam.

Winner: Adam Bomb in 2:27
Fine little squash match here.

Vince and Cornette pretend to play the new Raw video game and announce that Razor/Diesel will take place later. Then we are taken to a recap of this awful Doink/Jerry Lawler feud. This leads into the King’s Court, with Lawler’s Royal Family. Before anything can happen, Clowns r’ Us show up and spray them with water guns.

IRS cuts a promo from a funeral parlor on the Undertaker and paying taxes. Boring.

IRS w/ Ted Dibiase vs. Matt Hardy
Another match where the jobber is far better than the Superstar. Like Kanyon earlier, Matt bumps well for IRS’ god awful offense. IRS delivers the Write-Off for the victory.

Winner: IRS in 2:53
This was here.

Survivor Series Report! The show is in two days but we already know everything that we need to.

WWF Intercontinental Championship
Razor Ramon (c) w/ The Bad Guys vs. Diesel w/ The Teamsters

I put that this is for the Intercontinental Title but I’m honestly unsure. Razor charges and starts hot. Diesel doesn’t stay down for long though as he uses his power advantage to take control. Behind the fans, Razor tries to rally but gets sent over the top rope heading into a commercial. After the break, Razor has turned things around a bit, sending Diesel into the corner hard. Diesel again swings the momentum, just pounding away on Razor. Diesel comes close to winning but Razor gets his foot on the bottom rope. Razor escapes the Jackknife with a back body drop and the crowd is hot. Razor uses this to rally and body slams Diesel. Jarrett gets on the apron and is brought in the hard way. He tries to cheat but Bulldog pulls him out. Owen climbs up top only to get thrown into Diesel. This leads to a giant brawl between the teams, where Shawn Michaels stays out of the fray.

Double disqualification in 10:25
Solid match here. As usual, Diesel works best with Kliq buddies as they had a pretty decent match, with an ending that I saw coming from a mile away. **¾

Overall: 5/10. Middle of the pack episode here. Nothing on it was particularly good or bad and, outside of IRS, things moved along smoothly. Kudos to Matt Hardy and Chris Kanyon for doing good jobs as the ham and eggers this week.