Thursday, November 17, 2016
Hey, it’s a live episode! Macho Man and Vince McMahon are your hosts.
The Headshrinkers did nothing but add Albano to turn face. They start hot and Fatu nearly picks up the win within a few minutes. The Quebecers have some miscommunications that allow the Headshrinkers to send them packing to regroup. The crowd is on fire. The champions decide to walk out on the match and, in classic Earl Hebner fashion, he makes up a rule on the spot that the titles can change hands on a countout. I hate when Hebner does this. They go to commercial when the Quebecers return but the Headshrinkers continue to stay in control until Jacques gets in a cheap shot. Fatu then flip sells a clothesline from Pierre. They now work a heat segment on Fatu for a bit but even when the hot tag comes to Samu, he ends up in trouble. Jacques hits a piledriver and they call for the Quebec Crash but miss. Polo gets on the apron but is taken care of by Albano and Afa. The champions miscommunicate and Pierre nails Jacques by mistake. The Headshrinkers then hit a double team Stroke on Jacques, followed by a Fatu splash that wins them the straps.
The Quebecers put on good tag matches for the past few months and this was no different. It actually kind of felt too similar to some of their other matches but the hot crowd and title change added to this. It may have gone a bit too long as well.
Hey, it’s our first King of the Ring Report! Todd Pettengill just hypes the show and runs down the rules of the tournament but doesn’t have much in the way of actual news yet. IRS will be facing Scott Steiner in a qualifying match as well as one between Kwang and Razor Ramon.
Vince McMahon HAMMERS it home that Tatanka is more aggressive than ever after what IRS did to him. Despite being more aggressive, Domino actually gets in a bit of offense. It’s only there so Tatanka can make the babyface comeback.
Far too long to be an enjoyable squash. I was not a fan of this.
We go to the King’s Court, featuring Jerry Lawler throwing verbal jabs at Piper’s Pit and Roddy Piper himself. He brings out the NEW INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION, Diesel! Diesel won the title on Superstars a few days before. They mention that Shawn Michaels isn’t there because he sacrificed himself during the match. Diesel stumbles over his words a bit, saying that he and Shawn are the best duo since Batman and Robin. In a big moment, Diesel is asked what’s next and he says that while the IC Title is nice, he wants the WWF Title.
Various people say they’ve seen the Undertaker. Everyone from a firefighter to a child saying that Undertaker was going down a slide all have supposedly sighted him.
Yup, this is a handicap match. Yokozuna takes his time but dominates. He wins with a Banzai Drop on the two men, who are stacked on top of each other.
Another ho-hum squash. It lasted too long for the people involved.
Yokozuna continues the assault until Earthquake waddles out to make the save. Great, because this is a program I want to see. Earthquake then challenges Yokozuna to a match.
Overall: The big Tag Team Title match was pretty good and that’s usually the sign of a show getting a good score. I also happened to like the Diesel interview, which equals about half of the episode. The other half was rough though as the squash matches took up far too much time and featured unentertaining people.
Vince McMahon and Macho Man hype up the possibility of Earthquake vs. Yokozuna. Yay.
Razor Ramon is looking to bounce back after losing the Intercontinental Title last week. They trade some early holds and then Razor busts out chops and a hip toss o take control. Razor stays in control and then Kwang hits a heel kick and spits mist into the air. Doesn’t he realize that mist would be more effective if spit at someone instead of into the air? They go back and forth for a bit and, while the crowd is into Razor, the match has been average at best. Back to poorly timed breaks as we go to commercial in the middle of a damn near fall. Seriously? Razor hits a huge rock bottom for two. He goes for the Razor’s Edge but is too tired to hit it. After Kwang misses a heel kick, the Razor’s Edge hits this time and he qualifies, joining IRS.
Decent match here. Nothing about it was special but it served its purpose and was competitive, even if the outcome was never in doubt.
Todd Pettengill brings us the King of the Ring Report! Next week on Raw, Bigelow faces Thurman Plugg in a qualifying match. He then announces that Roddy Piper will face Jerry Lawler at the King of the Ring. Roddy was rocking a sweet beard in the video they show. He is phenomenal in these promos too.
Ray Roy drew the short straw when it comes to jobber names. He nearly scores an upset on a rollup but then eats a kick. Randy Savage says “talk about martial arts. Kwang and Crush must be hanging together.” I honestly feel like he was trolling the show at times. Now that the false finish is over, Crush dominates and ends it with the heart punch.
Typical squash match here. Nearly went on too long but it stopped just before it got exhausting.
We get a new Duke Droese vignette.
Footage is shown from Superstars where Doink humiliated Dink with a pie to the face and silly string. Doink was then revealed to actually be Jeff Jarrett dressed up.
Doink nearly folds Terrace in half on a leg sweep. Dink gets involved but it is somehow not a disqualification. It’s all annoying. Jeff Jarrett calls in to put down Doink. Doink wins with the Whoopee Cushion.
The usual 1994 annoying Doink squash.
The King’s Court is back with Yokozuna, which means Jim Cornette is the one talking. They hype the potential of a Yokozuna/Earthquake match. It will happen but only if it’s a sumo wrestling match. Yokozuna is sweating badly and looks blown up despite just standing there.
More false Undertaker sightings and this one is from someone who claims that he saw Undertaker sleeping in the trash. No dude, they asked about Undertaker, not Duke Droese.
During this match, we hear that Earthquake has accepted the sumo wrestling challenge. Mabel plods through his offense, hitting a leg drop to highlight things. He hits a slam for the three.
This is about what I want from my Mabel squashes. Keep them short. That made this acceptable.
Jerry Lawler interviews Earthquake who accepts the sumo match and it will happen next week.
Overall: Not one of the better episodes. The opening match was fine and the squashes were short, but featured three wrestlers that I just do not enjoy. The King’s Court continues to be pretty bad, though at least Jim Cornette was somewhat entertaining.
A hype video airs for tonight’s SUMO MATCH!
It’s so ridiculous to hear commentary call him “Sparky” all match long. He does an impressive dropkick that sends Bigelow to the outside. Bigelow comes back in and takes charge, getting two on the ghetto blaster. He just continues to pound away on Plugg, who continues to play the plucky babyface. I don’t think he has a televised loss just yet. He avoids a Bigelow corner splash, giving him an opening to hit a bulldog. A Luna distraction allowed Bigelow to qualify following a slingshot splash that looked putrid.
Similar to last week’s qualifying match, this was your average match. Both guys are solid hands and it made for a watchable match that was shorter than expected.
Our new King of the Ring Report brings us the news that Bret Hart will be defending the WWF Championship against the Intercontinental Champion Diesel. According to the bracket, IRS will face Mabel in the first round and Razor Ramon will take on Bigelow. Soon, Lex Luger faces Jeff Jarrett in a qualifier.
Randy Savage says that “futuristically speaking, Diesel could be the next WWF Champion.” I mean, it’s true but it’s a strange way to put it. This is all Diesel, as expected. Not only is he a monster in size but he’s also on the road to a title shot, so you know he isn’t going to look bad.
Decent enough squash. Diesel wins in short order and looks good while doing so.
Ugh, another King’s Court. He cuts a promo about Roddy Piper that is pretty terrible before a commercial. Returning, Ted Dibiase is in the ring with Nikolai Volkoff. King announces that the broke Volkoff is there because Ted Dibiase has purchased his services. Volkoff admits that he hates Dibiase but has to work for him because he needs to support his family. I mean, if I was Dibiase, I would have purchased someone better in 1994. Ted makes him put on new trunks that say “property of the Million Dollar Man.” I get what they were trying to do here but the crowd didn’t care enough for Volkoff to buy into the sympathy card.
We had Ray Roy last week. I wonder if they’re related. Owen kills it here, just going through fun offense like a gutwrench suplex and talks so much trash throughout. He wins with the Sharpshooter.
Why does Owen get two minute squashes but guys like Mabel get five? Anyway, this was fun as Owen continues to be one of the MVP’s of 1994.
Owen Hart beats up Tony Roy after the match.
Next week, Owen hart meets Earthquake in a KOTR Qualifying match.
I don’t know exactly how a sumo match is supposed to go but they do a lot of staring at each other and nearly starting, but deciding not to. They talk about how Earthquake was 24-0 in his sumo career. Savage gets in a great line about how both guys are covered in sweat and haven’t touched each other yet. After like five or six minutes of pretty boring stuff, Earthquake knocks Yokozuna outside.
This was supposed to lead to a big feud through the summer but Earthquake gets hurt soon and it never happens. The match was Akebono/Big Show levels of bad. Nobody really wanted to see this attraction.
Overall: The main event was horrible, but the other three matches were decent. The KOTR qualifier was short and to the point, while the two squashes were fine. However, the King’s Court continues to be dire each week.