Sunday, August 30, 2015

Raw History: Episodes 9-10

Raw History
Episode #9
March 15th, 1993 | Mid-Hudson Civic Center in Poughkeepsie, New York

So Monday Night Raw leaves the Manhattan Center for the very first time. They don’t go far as they’re still in New York, but in Poughkeepsie. Commentary is Bobby Heenan, Gorilla Monsoon and Rob Bartlett dressed as Vince McMahon. I fully expect Bartlett to annoy me but I absolutely adore the tandem of Heenan and Monsoon. The real Vince and Macho Man are accepting some award somewhere so they aren’t here.

Razor Ramon vs. Russ Greenberg
Russ Greenberg gets tossed around and hit with a fallaway slam before applying the abdominal stretch. Razor loved that move for some reason. It’s clear in this match that Razor is starting to become popular, which would lead to his face run soon. Razor ends it with the Razor’s Edge.

Winner: Razor Ramon in 3:02
Your basic good old fashioned squash. Razor looked good and had the crowd behind him. SQUASH

LA Gore vs. Typhoon
LA Gore looks absolutely ridiculous. Not only is he in strange ring gear, but he has a full mullet and mustache. He applies a headlock and smiles like it’s his first offensive maneuver. Bartlett is BEYOND annoying as Vince McMahon right now. Typhoon squashes Gore, literally, and wins.

Winner: Typhoon in 2:57
Another total squash. SQUASH

Bobby Heenan is in the ring as he is set to interview Harvey Whippleman and the Giant Gonzalez. Whippleman, I think I’m spelling that right, hypes up Gonzalez as a viable threat to The Undertaker at WrestleMania. Sure he is Harvey.

We then cut to a WrestleMania promo that totally hypes up Hulk Hogan over the WWF Title match. Not surprising at all.

Bob Backlund vs. Papa Shango
Two guys I don’t care about at all. Backlund works the arm at the start as Bartlett has reached all new levels of annoying. How Heenan and Gorilla had the strength to not knock him out is beyond me. I can’t even focus on the match and nether can commentary as Gorilla had to shout “STOP” at Bartlett. Shango uses the ropes for leverage on a rest hold and now I’m distracted by Mike Chioda’s mullet. Despite being dominated for the entire match, Backlund uses a small package to earn the win.

Winner: Bob Backlund in 6:58
From what I saw, this was your basic match. The crowd wasn’t that into it and neither guy did anything special. It was hard to concentrate due to the AWFUL commentary from Bartlett. *

The WrestleMania Report is brought to us by Gene Okerlund, who informs us that WrestleMania IX will be the “World’s Biggest Toga Party.” We get promos from Money Inc. and The Undertaker.

The Headshrinkers vs. The Nasty Boys
I have no idea where Afa is. The Nasty Boys and Headshrinkers trade double team work in the early stages. For not being the best workers, the Nast Boys have great chemistry and play to their strengths. The Headshrinkers end up in control, working over Saggs until a missed headbutt from Samu allows Knobbs to get the hot tag. He comes in on fire and takes down both opponents. DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER! Things spill outside and all four guys brawl to the concession area. Fatu and Knobbs throw food on each other as the bell rings.

Double Countout in 9:01
Much like the Backlund/Shango match, this was basic stuff. The brawl to end was fun though. *3/4

Overall: 1/10; Poop. This episode totally blew. Nothing about it was good or relevant. Razor hasn’t even been booked for WrestleMania but got a squash. Typhoon is going nowhere, yet got a squash. Backlund/Shango was boring and the main event also has no relevance on WrestleMania. Bartlett was BEYOND TERRIBLE on commentary, the matches weren’t good and didn’t build towards WrestleMania at all.


Raw History
Episode #10
March 22nd, 1993 | Manhattan Center in Manhattan, New York

We return to the Manhattan Center with hopes that Raw can bounce back from its worst episode so far. An interesting note is that this episode clocks in at only 36 minutes, which is about ten minutes shorter than usual. Commentary is back to Vince McMahon, Macho Man and Rob Bartlett.

The Bushwackers vs. Damien Demento and Repo Man
The Bushwackers take a while to appear and it’s because they are up on the second deck of the crowd with the fans. It’s pretty cool but I have no clue how they were allowed to lick fans. Trademark Bushwackers shenanigans are in order with biting and taunting. Repo Man is in terrible shape. Demento and Repo Man work the heel stuff by distracting the ref and getting in cheap shots. Butch gets the mild tag and comes in to hit a DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER! Things are awkward for a bit until the Bushwackers win.

Winners: The Bushwackers in 5:28
Dull and odd. The Bushwackers have terrible offense and Repo Man and Demento were not a real team so they had no chemistry. The heels seemed to mail it in too. DUD

Reno Riggins vs. Tatanka
Finally, a match that actually involves someone doing something at WrestleMania. Reno Riggins is wearing cheetah print trunks, white boots and no knee pads. It looks ridiculous. He locks in a sleeper hold but Tatanka breaks it quickly and chops him a bunch. A big powerslam and all Tatanka offense ends this.

Winner: Tatanka in 3:30
Basically all Tatanka. SQUASH

A short tribute to Andre the Giant is shown as he is going to be the first inductee into the WWF Hall of Fame.

Non-Title Match
Jess and John Armstrong vs. WWF Tag Team Champions Money Inc.

Are John and Jess members of the famous Armstrong wrestling family? No. I don’t expect this to last long. Bartlett has a second, smaller monitor and is flipping through channels to laugh at the “competition”. Money Inc. is dominating as one would expect. The Armstrongs have the jobber look down perfectly. IRS gets the pin in short time.

Winners: WWF Tag Team Champions Money Inc. in 3:02
Another squash, but just like the Tatanka one, at least it involved people heading to WrestleMania. SQUASH

WrestleMania Report time and it’s brought to us by ICOPRO. YOU GOTTA WANT IT! No new news is given out here.

Doink vs. Kamala w/ Slick
Kamala not using Slick’s “Jive Soul Bro” theme is a travesty. Doink has a gift with him but it’s just for distraction. His green wig is more of a straight afro tonight and he quickly applies a submission. It’s awesome how methodical Doink was. He continues to work Kamala with slow holds for a while. Kamala chases Doink outside, who offers him the gift. Kamala opens the empty gift but the distraction allowed Doink to get in and win via Countout.

Winner via Countout: Doink in 5:59
The best match of the night but that’s not saying much. Doink is damn good but this wasn’t special. *3/4

Doink tries to attack Kamala with a chair after the match but is outsmarted and chased by the Ugandan Giant. After they leave, the fat ring girls are by commentary and one makes out with Rob Bartlett. Yuck. They hype up “The March to WrestleMania” this Sunday, which has a better card than most episodes of Raw. Macho Man vs. Yokozuna and The Undertaker vs. Bam Bam Bigelow. 

Overall: 3.5/10; Not Good. It’s a step up from the previous week but it’s still not good. While the squashes made sense this week, it still wasn’t good wrestling. The opener was awful and, while the main event was decent, it wasn’t enough to save this show. I guess there is no Raw next week as episode 11 aired on 4/5/93 and WrestleMania is on 4/4, which means that WrestleMania IX is next!