Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Raw Report 9-22-14

Raw opens in the best way possible, as Dean Ambrose comes down and recaps getting his stomped on through cinder blocks. He decides to try and takeover the show, like he's NXT or something, by staging a sit down strike until the Authority shows up. John Cena's music hits so he's either the wrong person to show up or he's joined the Authority. He wants his hands on Seth and Dean is all, "That's my man!" Seriously though, Dean gets snippy with him which was interesting for sure. The Corporation comes out saying Seth isn't going to fight either of them so Cena and Ambrose run out and brawl with the Authority. Things even go backstage and Seth Rollins uses his Grand Theft Auto skills and steals a car to escape. Chaotic start to say the least.

Triple H tells Kane that he'll be facing Dean Ambrose tonight and announces everyone's favorite match, John Cena vs. Randy Orton. Yay! Orton says that Seth Rollins needs to stop starting fire that they have to put out for him. The opening contest is an Intercontinental Title rematch from Night of Champions. Damien Mizdow continues to be amazing with a replica Intercontinental Title. This match was a vast improvement on the one from Night of Champions. As Miz tried to win with a handful of tights again, Dolph countered with his own tights pulling rollup to win back the belt. I didn't expect that and I'm surprised at this result. I don't know why they're flip flopping the belt so much.

Match three in the series between Bo Dallas and Jack Swagger is next, but I prefer this to the normal series of nonsense rematches because there is actually a feud here. Regardless, their chemistry isn't great and this was another ho hum contest between them. Swagger wins to take a 2-1 series lead. Total Divas showcase follows as Summer Rae meets Natalya, and if you watch Total Divas, you know that Natalya is incredibly catty and dislikes Summer Rae for literally, no reason. They try to paint Summer as the heel but it doesn't look that way and Natalya seems like a pretty terribly person. She wins here though. After a fun start, this show has gone a bit downhill.

We get our usual recaps of things that have recently happened before moving into Kane vs. Dean Ambrose. I know that Randy Orton has been booked poorly since his heel turn but at least he's not the corporate whipping boy that Kane is. It's understandable with Kane as he's over 40 years old and has slowed down considerably. This wasn't awful and Ambrose was on the verge of victory until Seth Rollins returned to cause the disqualification. Ambrose retaliates and takes down Seth until Kane gets involved. The Authority do their thing, but Ambrose is back up by the end and daring them to return.

Triple H tells Seth Rollins the same thing Randy Orton said earlier, about not starting fires. They are cut off by Dean Ambrose attacking Seth in the office. JAMIE NOBLE BOY is part of the crew who stops him and they go to eject him but Stephanie McMahon, being the observant one, notices that the people they kick out never stay out so they lock him in a room with security. It worked on Paul Heyman last week. And, just like last week, we get a six man tag pitting the new Tag Team Champions and Cesaro against Sheamus and the Usos. Just like last week too, it's a fun match and the faces win. #RematchCity

Seth Rollins thanks Randy Orton for facing John Cena tonight and, as a token of his appreciation, promises a gift for Orton tonight. This won't go well. Sad Mark Henry comes out to apologize to America for losing to Rusev. Just ask Bo Dallas, you let down like 300 million people or something. Lana and her legs, oh and Rusev, come out and mock Mark Henry and America. I'll give you three guesses as to what happens next. If you guessed rematch, then you are correct. Rusev locks on the accolade and this ends via ref stoppage, which is probably how it should've ended at the Pay-Per-View instead of having Henry tap out. Swagger didn't even submit.

So Adam Rose teams with the Bunny here. Yes, I said that. They face the awesome team of SLATERGATOR! Unfortunately, this goes as you'd expect because the Bunny's team wins and JBL constantly plugs #bunnymania by saying it won't trend. Reverse psychology eh WWE? Sadly, it probably worked. Nikki Bella shows up to talk, which means this won't be a good segment. She blames Brie Bella's pre-match interview for her loss in the Divas Title match at Night of Champions. It would've been better if, you know, Brie actually cost her the match. She calls Brie and her awful music which leads to a Bella brawl. Brie tries to apply the Yes Lock even. AJ Lee, with her Divas Title, comes out for a match with Nikki. Paige is on commentary and AJ wins with the Black Widow.

I have no clue what the above move is supposed to be. During the break, a giant black box is brought to ringside. Anyone who doesn't expect Dean Ambrose to be under it is lost. John Cena and Randy Orton meet for the 4,522,120th time and they pretty much just go through the motions for the entire contest. Of course we get a DQ finish as Seth Rollins and Kane cut things off during the STF. The Authority beat down on Cena and go to reveal the gift, and guess what? It's Dean Ambrose! He beats up Seth Rollins and stands tall, along with Cena, to close this edition of Raw.

This was better than recent Raws, and having Dean Ambrose back is probably a big part of that. It still wasn't great as the only really good match was Dolph Ziggler/Miz. Everything else was relatively basic. I'd give it a 6.5/10 and say that it at least intrigued me.