Raw History
Episode #43
December 13th, 1993 | Mid-Hudson Civic Center in Poughkeepsie, New York
Considering that Bobby Heenan was thrown out of the company last week and Randy Savage is suspended from commentary, Vince McMahon needs a new broadcast partner. Enter Jim Cornette. This should be fun.
Fatu w/ Afa vs. “Macho Man” Randy Savage
Here we see Randy Savage is out of “retirement”, which should be good since he can still go here. Fatu had a damn good match against Bret Hart earlier in the year, meaning this has potential. Savage sells great for him, falling outside on a savant kick. Savage hits Fatu but twice, he shrugs it off and kicks the former WWF Champion. Fatu mauls him with some of those SAMOAN HEADBUTTS. Savage makes the classic babyface comeback and wins with the elbow.
Winner: Randy Savage in 5:51
While this wasn’t a great match, it did its job. Randy Savage got to win in his return and Fatu was able to look like a Samoan monster. Decent stuff here. **
Todd Pettengil tries to get a petition started for Macho Man to be allowed to return to WWF Mania and host it with him. I honestly don’t remember watching Mania as a kid.
The Smoking Guns vs. Steve Smyth and Jim Massenger
Captain Lou Albano appears at ringside to scout talent. The match is pretty much all Smoking Guns and the jobbers look pretty bad throughout. Bart hits a DDT and Billy wins with a top rope bulldog.
Winners: The Smoking Guns in 2:46
Standard squash match here, made worse considering the jobbers weren’t of the best variety. ¾*
We get a recap of what went down between Razor Ramon, Shawn Michaels, Diesel and the 1-2-3 Kid last week.
IRS vs. Todd Mata
For what has to be the first time in history, we see the contents of IRS’ briefcase and he has Razor Ramon’s gold chain in there. IRS gets in all of the offense, dumping Todd Mata onto the outside. Once he struggles to get back in, IRS hits a backdrop, earning the victory.
Winner: IRS in 1:43
If I must watch IRS matches, these are the best ones. It was kept short so he couldn’t do his stupid endless chinlock. ¾*
A ridiculous video airs of Yokozuna as Santa Claus, being nice to children. He then wakes up from the nightmare. The best part about this is that we now know that he sleeps in his entrance robe.
The Undertaker w/ Paul Bearer vs. J.S. Storm
I feel like I haven’t seen the Undertaker on Raw in months. Commentary mentions that the Undertaker the upcoming Casket Match between Yokozuna and the Undertaker at the Royal Rumble. Jim Cornette says that it will be bad, which is absolutely what it was. Storm obviously gets nothing and Undertaker mows through him quickly.
Winner: The Undertaker in 1:55
I’m liking these quick squash matches tonight. It makes things much easier to enjoy. *
Our final Jeff Jarrett vignette airs, and it’s just a montage of his previous ones. He debuts next week.
A promo airs to hype next week’s marquee Raw match. Tatanka returns to avenge his first loss against Ludvig Borga.
Rick Martel vs. Tim McNeany
We have to nearing the end of Rick Martel’s run with the WWF right? He actually runs into trouble as the jobber gets two near falls with rollups. Martel gets tired of this quick and stars taking control, even doing some jumping jacks. This jobber gets more offense than I’d expect but Martel wins.
Winner: Rick Martel in 3:00
Another squash, but this one was pretty dull considering it lasted longer than the rest. ½*
On Superstars, Owen Hart was interviewed by Vince McMahon and challenged Bret Hart to a match. Things are about to get good.
Bret Hart vs. Brooklyn Brawler
This should be better than most squashes because it involves Bret. He targets the arm of the infamous jobber. He hits a cross body and goes back to the arm. Brawler rakes the eyes and thinks he’s in control but Bret is all like “nope” and goes into the FIVE MOVES OF DOOM to win.
Winner: Bret Hart in 4:14
Probably my favorite squash match of the night, but nothing about it was great. Basic stuff here again. *¼
Overall: 3.5/10. I really wasn’t feeling this episode. Granted, I appreciated that some of the matches moved by so quickly, but there were five of them and I’d only consider one to really be watchable. We are in a period where it’s a bit too far from the new PPV for anything of note to really happen though, so I kind of get that.
Raw History
Episode #44
December 20th, 1993 | Mid-Hudson Civic Center in Poughkeepsie, New York
We get clips of the attack on Tatanka last week before a promo from saying he’s getting his revenge tonight. Vince McMahon is joined by Shawn Michaels on commentary this week.
Jeff Jarrett vs. PJ Walker
Man, Jeff Jarrett’s outfit has to be a rib. He struts and poses around the ring in between his offense. He does a pretty good job of drawing heat from the fans with some trash talking. Jarrett wins with a rather ugly looking DDT.
Winner: Jeff Jarrett in 3:32
A decent debut here. Jeff Jarrett quickly showed that he was going to be a solid heel. *
Men on a Mission w/ Oscar vs. Duane Gill and Barry Hardy
I’m pretty sure the jobber team are the superior workers. Oscar’s “Santa Rap” features him saying Christmas five times and then spelling the word. #Bars. Mo does his awful offense before Mabel comes in and dominates. He slams Gill onto Hardy as commentary discusses how much of a problem Mabel will be in the Royal Rumble. Instead of just ending it here, Mo comes in and applies another wristlock. We are past that point of the match. Mabel comes in and ends it.
Winner: Men on a Mission in 4:33
My goodness, Men on a Mission completely suck and, for some reason, keep getting long squash matches. DUD
Todd Pettengil takes us to the Royal Rumble Report! They hype the WWF Championship Casket Match between Yokozuna and the Undertaker as well as IRS somehow getting an Intercontinental Title shot at Razor Ramon. He then runs through the rules of the Royal Rumble and announces nine entrants including Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Mabel, Shawn Michaels, Diesel, Crush, Kamala, Doink and Scott Steiner. Poor Rick Steiner and Mo couldn’t get in before Kamala?
Ludvig Borga vs. Tatanka
To try and prove that their issues are very serious, they brawl on the outside for a bit. Once they come in, Tatanka takes control, beating up Borga worse than anyone else so far. H gets two on a cross body before just getting mauled by a Borga body block. Borga surprises me with a cross body type move in the corner. Hey, he’s somewhat athletic. Tatanka no sells it because of his NATIVE AMERICAN FIGHTING SPIRIT! Yokozuna and Mr. Fuji walk to the ring as Tatanka goes up top. Fuji hits Tatanka with the flag in the back. The referee doesn’t see it, so they could have gotten away with it, but Yokozuna just walks in the ring for the DQ anyway.
Winner via disqualification: Tatanka in 4:40
It wasn’t the worst match ever before the finish. It was actually better than I expected from the two of them, though I had very low expectations. *½
As Yokozuna and Ludvig Borga look to kill Tatanka, Lex Luger makes the save. He uses the illegal forearm and body slams Yokozuna to send them packing.
Adam Bomb w/ Harvey Wippleman vs. Mark Thomas
Mark Thomas still looks more jacked than most of the roster at this point. For some reason, Lou Albano is out at ringside. I thought he was scouting tag teams. Since Thomas has a purple and black singlet, Vince makes a Barney joke. Bomb hits a powerbomb to wrap this up quickly.
Winner: Adam Bomb in 1:42
Why couldn’t this be the length of the Men on a Mission match? I’d rather watch Adam Bomb than those two for four minutes. This was short and sweet. *
A vignette runs for Thurman “Sparky” Plugg. Who thought that was a good name?
We go back to two weeks ago on Superstars, where Owen Hart challenged Bret Hart to a match. This past weekend on Superstars, Bret Hart responded, saying he knows the match would be great and that he never backs down from a fight, but he won’t fight his brother.
Owen Hart vs. Mike Bell
Owen Hart and Mike Bell do some arm work that obviously Owen wins with a head scissors takedown. Shawn Michaels is doing a good job in playing up how Bret is the favorite of the Hart family. Owen does some nice offense like a gutwrench suplex and second rope elbow. Owen hits a sweet belly to belly suplex before finishing Bell off with the Sharpshooter.
Winner: Owen Hart in 3:11
As usual, Owen Hart produces an entertaining squash match. He always found a way to make the most of his time and he does so here again. *½
Somehow, there’s a camera at the Undertaker’s workshop. It’s like a bizarre version of MTV Cribs. Paul Bearer shows us the Kamala casket and then we see Undertaker working hard at making a double wide casket for Yokozuna.
The Headshrinkers w/ Afa vs. Phil Apollo and Jerry Seavey
As expected, the Headshrinkers control this thing. Unfortunately, it isn’t the jobber killing from them that I’ve come to love. They hit Seavey with a double leg sweep and then win with the Fatu splash.
Winners: The Headshrinkers in 2:52
Not one of the better Headshrinker squash matches. They are usually hit or miss and this one kind of missed. ¾*
Next week, we see Razor Ramon in action, Lex Luger will also be wrestling, Marty Jannetty vs. Johnny Polo and highlights from the finals of the WWF Women’s Championship Tournament!
Overall: 4/10. Another ho-hum episode. Jeff Jarrett had a decent but forgettable debut, Owen Hart had a fun squash and Tatanka and Borga did better than expected. Still, Men on a Mission had an abysmal and I wasn’t impressed with the whole show.
Raw History
Episode #45
December 27th, 1993 | Mid-Hudson Civic Center in Poughkeepsie, New York
It’s the final episode of Raw in the year 1993! Vince McMahon’s commentary team this week consists of the Quebecers. Pierre apparently speaks bad English.
Lex Luger vs. Barry Horowitz
Lex Luger is such a natural heel that they even book him against the face jobbers. Commentary discusses the possibility of Luger being in the Royal Rumble. He did had the clause in his contract that states he couldn’t get another shot at Yokozuna if he didn’t win the belt at SummerSlam. Horowitz is surprisingly getting in a fair amount of offense. I don’t think he would get this much offense in again until his minor push in 1995. Barry makes the mistake of patting himself on the back. That leads to the Luger SCREAMING CLOTHESLINE! He hits a powerslam and superplex to finish things.
Winner: Lex Luger in 4:24
Better than I thought it would be due to the amount of offense Barry Horowitz got in. Granted, Lex Luger shouldn’t really be struggling with him, but it made for a more entertaining bout. *
We go back to the 1-2-3 Kid/Marty Jannetty match from a few weeks ago where Johnny Polo interfered, leading to his match tonight.
Johnny Polo vs. Marty Jannetty
They work a solid back and forth start, with Johnny Polo looking rather impressive. Jannetty gets two on an interesting rollup before taking him over with an arm drag. Polo busts out a suicide dive but Marty comes back with a slingshot body press. Marty comes off the top shortly after with a cross body for two. These guys are working pretty hard, but Vince is just talking about all kinds of off-topic stuff. Pierre gets up commentary as Jannetty dropkicks Polo outside. Pierre checks on Polo but eats a baseball slide. He then dives from the top and wipes out Pierre. Marty tries a sunset flip but Pierre holds Polo and allows him to win.
Winner: Johnny Polo in 8:22
I rather liked this match. Both guys worked hard to try and get Johnny Polo over as a capable wrestler. I think Vince could have done a better job on commentary in helping the cause, but still, a solid match. **¾
Doink the Clown vs. Spike Gray
Jacques makes a joke about Doink getting a “little Dink” for Christmas. It goes right over Vince’s head. I wonder who is playing Doink here. He and Dink run a gag on the jobber before Doink quickly wins with a German suplex.
Winner: Doink in 1:01
This is how I like my Doink squashes now that the OG Doink is gone. Short. ¾*
Adam Bomb, Bigelow, Macho Man, 1-2-3 Kid, Fatu, Samu, Rick Steiner, Greg Valentine and Bob Backlund are all added to the Royal Rumble on the Royal Rumble Report. They also announce that the Quebecers will be facing Bret and Owen at the Rumble. Bret and Owen cut a promo about how they’ve solved their differences.
Next week, the Smoking Guns face Bastion Booger and Bigelow. Yuck.
Crush w/ Mr. Fuji vs. Mike Moraldo
Crush’s attire is still rather absurd. He overpowers Moraldo and uses some of his “martial arts expertise.” Crush wins with a claw hold that looks weak.
Winner: Crush in 2:24
It was short. That’s the only positive I can find in this match. ¼*
We go back to Undertaker’s workshop, where he continues to build the double wide casket.
Video clips are shown from the finals of the WWE Women’s Championship Tournament. Alundra Blayze met Heidi Lee Morgan. The footage shows that the match probably wasn’t great, but Blayze won to bring the Women’s Title back.
A vignette is shown for Kwang. It’s just him doing nonsense “martial arts” moves. Crush is probably crying gimmick infringement. Who would know that they’d be partners in a few years in the Nation of Domination?
Non-Title Match
Razor Ramon vs. Derek Domino
This is your standard Razor Ramon squash. He goes through all of his usual stuff, including the modified abdominal stretch. According to Jacques, it’s the domino stretch. Get it? Because the jobber’s name is Domino. Razor finishes with the Razor’s Edge.
Winner: Razor Ramon in 3:48
Like I said, standard Razor Ramon squash match. Nothing to write home about it, but it accomplished the job. *
Overall: 4/10. Considering the fun Polo/Jannetty match and the fact that Luger’s match was better than expected, I wanted to like this episode more. Instead, it featured Crush and Doink boring me. The year does not end with a bang, but more like a whimper.
WrestleMania XXVII
April 3rd, 2011 | Georgia Dome in Atlanta, Georgia | Attendance: 71,617
Before the infamous CM Punk pipebomb, 2011 was a pretty odd year. It featured John Morrison, the Miz and R-Truth as main eventers which was different to say the least. Heading into WrestleMania, the Miz was the WWE Champion and a lot of people felt that he shouldn’t head into the show as the top champion. I was more than okay with this as he stole the show leading up to the event, being more entertaining than his opponent John Cena, and the Rock. Rock had just come back and was set for a program with the Rock, making Miz the unfortunate third wheel here. This WrestleMania usually gets bad reviews so let’s see how I feel about it.
Atlanta’s own Keri Hilson opens things with a rendition of America the Beautiful. Once she’s done, the Rock comes out as he’s the host of WrestleMania 27. This is typical Rock fare as he milks this time for all its worth. He makes fun of John Cena, has the crowd wrapped around his finger and gets the crowd pumped. I get it, but it took too long for my taste. Once he’s done, we go right into the yearly WrestleMania opening video package, which is almost always great. Commentary consists of Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler and Josh Matthews.
World Heavyweight Championship
Edge (c) w/ Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio w/ Ricardo Rodriguez and Brodus Clay
In a world with two World Titles, this was the first of two times one of them opened the show. Alberto Del Rio was fresh of winning the Royal Rumble and had a sweet entrance here. Coming into this, Edge has a kayfabe injured arm, which plays perfectly into Del Rio’s finisher. Edge wins an early exchange but Del Rio throws him into the guardrail shoulder first. I’ve said it before buy the best Del Rio matches involve arm targeting. Del Rio continues to work the arm until Edge gets an opening by dodging a move. Del Rio crashes outside hard, so Edge follows with a front flip dive outside. A rare high risk move for Edge, made all the more high risk knowing what came after this match. He goes up top but it doesn’t pay off as Del Rio arm drags him off. Edge goes old school with a spinning heel kick. Del Rio continues to have counters but when he tries the Cross Armbreaker, it’s Edge who has a counter ready with the Edge-o-Matic for two. Edge tries a rollup, but Del Rio manages to counter into the Armbreaker! Edge reaches the ropes to break it though. He goes up top again, but Del Rio knocks him off with a step up enziguri. Ricardo tries to cheat, leading to Christian and Brodus brawling. Brodus uses an assist from Del Rio to take out Christian. That does serve as a slight distraction to get Edge some momentum. He misses the Spear and Brodus pulls him arm into the post before Del Rio slaps on the Cross Armbreaker. Edge is able to turn it into a near fall, before applying the rarely seen Edgecator. Christian is up and he takes out Brodus with a tornado DDT. Del Rio breaks the submission but turns right into a Spear, allowing Edge to retain.
Winner and New World Heavyweight Champion: Edge in 11:10
When I originally saw this match, I didn’t remember it being this good. I really liked this though. The arm work was excellent and the use of outside parties was perfect. It wasn’t overdone and didn’t factor in too much. The drama was there with the Cross Armbreaker teases too. This would ultimately be Edge’s last match and he went out with a bang. ***½
Before Edge leaves, he stops to kick and elbow drop Alberto Del Rio’s sweet Rolls Royce. Christian brings out a pipe and tire iron, as they vandalize the car. Poor Del Rio watches in horror. He lost and had his car destroyed. Kind of a dick move guys.
Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio
Every character that Cody Rhodes has had, he’s delivered in, but man “Undashing” Cody was money. For those who don’t know, “Dashing” Cody Rhodes needed “surgery” after a knee from Rey Mysterio and his knee brace, leading to the gimmick change. Rey is dressed like Captain America. He attacks before Cody can even take off his hoodie, snapping off a diving hurricanrana. Cody is able to disrobe following a forearm shot. As he had been doing in the buildup, Cody uses the mask as a weapon before hitting the Beautiful Disaster. Rhodes gets two on the Alabama Slam and we hear a smattering of “Let’s go Cody” chants. Rey’s comeback is thwarted by another headbutt. Cody shows off some strength with a sweet stalling second rope suplex. I know Rey is small, but that was still impressive. Rey counters Cross Rhodes by sending Cody outside. He follows with a baseball slide and sends Cody into the ring apron. He gets in some quick offense inside before trying to remove Cody’s mask. Cody busts out a wheelbarrow suplex for two. Rey tries the 619 but Cody catches his feet and slings him into the ropes for two. Cody removes Rey’s knee brace but he still hits a moonsault for two. Rey removes Cody’s mask and hits the 619. He leaps from the top but Cody gets the knees up, only to eat a kick for two. Rey applies Cody’s mask, hitting some diving headbutts. His splash only gets two though. Cody rolls outside, grabbing Rey’s knee brace and striking him with it as he tries to dive. Cody hits Cross Rhodes, wrapping this up.
Winner: Cody Rhodes in 11:59
I am pleasantly surprised that they got a good chunk of time. They had talked about stealing the show, which they didn’t do, but this was still very good. Both braces coming into play was smart and the finish made sense, while protecting both guys. Really solid match here. ***
Backstage, we see Snoop Dogg and Teddy Long. Snoop is looking for musical talent and Teddy lined some Superstars up to audition. First up is a rapping William Regal, stealing the show. The Great Khali and Beth Phoenix sing “Summer Loving” from Grease, Zack Ryder sings Rebecca Black’s “Friday” until Roddy Piper smashes a coconut on his head and then Yoshi Tatsu sings “We Will Rock You” while Chris Masters’ tits dance. Lastly, Hornswoggle comes up though he can’t even talk. Snoop and Teddy exit, leaving Hornswoggle to rap as the Bella Twins appear and dance randomly.
The Corre (Intercontinental Champion Wade Barrett, Ezekiel Jackson and Tag Team Champions Heath Slater and Justin Gabriel) vs. Big Show, Kane, Kofi Kingston and Santino Marella
Seriously, this is what Wade Barrett is reduced to after his fantastic 2010? Kofi Kingston is a last minute replacement for Vladimir Kozlov. I’m not upset. The faces get in their stuff quickly, though Ezekiel Jackson takes down Big Show impressively. This leads to everyone taking each other out in a finisher barrage. Kofi Kingston hits Trouble in Paradise on Wade Barrett before diving onto his other opponents. A Cobra/WMD combination on Heath Slater ends this.
Winners: Big Show, Kane, Kofi Kingston and Santino Marella in 1:33
That was just here to get guys on the card. Eight guys were involved and it got less than two minutes. That’s not a good thing. ½*
In the back, the Rock congratulates Eve Torres on becoming the Divas Champion. He says that when the next person turns the corner, he’ll create a WrestleMania moment with them. It turns out to be Mae Young who Rock calls a Divasaurus. She spanks Rock’s ass before leaving and we get a Rock/Steve Austin faceoff. They shake hands and show respect, which was rather cool.
CM Punk vs. Randy Orton
Considering CM Punk was kind of feuding with John Cena early in the year, this seemed thrown together. Kudos to them for putting in effort to try and give this a two plus year backstory. The fight goes outside, where Punk dropkicks the steel steps into Randy Orton’s injured leg. A lot of focus on injuries and body parts tonight. Orton is selling the leg well, as even when he gets in offense, he can’t do much after. Punk gets in some of his trademark stuff, while also targeting the knee. He calls for the GTS, but Orton elbows free only for Punk to kick him. Orton crotches Punk and hits a superplex, while still selling the knee. Punk goes 1997 Bret Hart with a variation of the ring post Figure Four, which is one of my favorite moves ever. He applies a submission that Orton breaks with some headbutts. He gets in the powerslam and Lou Thez, failing to sell until he’s done with the move. He even pulls out an Angle Slam for two. Punk does a dragon screw that looks fucking lethal. Anaconda Vise is applied but Orton makes it to the rope. He hits the rope hung DDT and begins to pound for the RKO. He changes his mind, wanting to Punt Punk, which is how he took out the rest of the New Nexus. However, his leg gives out and he collapses. Orton tries the RKO but it’s blocked. Punk’s facial expression for this is masterful as he realizes he’s in control. He makes the crucial mistake of springboarding in, as Orton is able to catch him with a brilliant RKO to win.
Winner: Randy Orton in 14:47
Another really strong match that often gets overlooked. The leg work was pretty stellar and Punk, for being a guy who was kind of checked out mentally, was on point. Some solid storytelling here. Also, we had no clue that CM Punk was about to set the wrestling world on fire. ***½
Backstage, we get a segment with the Rock, Mean Gene and Pee Wee Herman. I am not making this up. It’s actually kind of funny. This comes right before the 2011 Hall of Fame Class roundup. They all come to the stage to get recognized. This class consisted of Abdullah the Butcher, Sunny, the Road Warriors, Drew Carey, Bob Armstrong, Jim Duggan and headliner Shawn Michaels.
Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole w/ Jack Swagger
“Stone Cold” Steve Austin is the special guest referee for this match. Booker T and Jim Ross join commentary. Michael Cole cuts a promo as he walks to the ring and it’s awful. His heel run wasn’t him being a good heel, it was him getting “GET OUT” heat. Cole wastes time in his little announcer box but Lawler beats his ass anyway. Jack Swagger gets in a cheap shot behind Austin’s back. Cole gets on offense for far too long and it’s dull as hell. He tries a Swagger Bomb but gets so scared that he goes to the bottom rope for it. Mimicking the King, Cole pulls one strap of his singlet down and applies the AnCOLE lock. Lawler gets free and stomps a mudhole in Cole so Swagger throws in the towel. Austin picks it up, wipes his head with it and throws it back. Swagger enters to argue and eats a Stunner. Lawler busts out a damn dropkick to my surprise. He has it won with a fist drop but pulls up Cole. This has gone on FAR too long. He applies an Ankle Lock and Cole taps instantly, but Austin takes forever to call for the bell. However, the Anonymous Raw General Manager chimes in to reverse the decision because Austin overstepped his authorities.
Winner via disqualification: Michael Cole in 13:46
How the hell did this get so much damn time? Michael Cole was on offense for too long, the match was terrible and probably the worst in WrestleMania history. The reversed decision made things even worse because it means we wasted a ton of time and still had to hear Cole spout nonsense for months. DUD.
Booker T gets in the ring to celebrate, busting out a SPINAROONIE! Austin shares a beer with him before taking him out with a Stunner. Then the GM makes the announcement, which pisses off the fans. Since Josh Matthews had to read the decision, he takes a Stunner too, leaving King and Lawler as commentary for the rest of the show. Well, at least there’s that.
Triple H vs. The Undertaker
Match two in their WrestleMania trilogy, though I’ve always liked their WrestleMania liked their Mania 17 match best. Triple H gets one of his best Mania entrances ever. They brawl right from the start, going outside. HHH tackles Undertaker though the “Cole Mine”, but he sits up quickly. Inside, Undertaker hits a clothesline and tries Old School but is launched from the top. The high impact stuff continues as they counter each other on the announce table, ending with Taker taking out HHH with a back body drop to the floor. Undertaker goes inside and nearly dies on his sick dive to the outside. Here he was at a point where he wasn’t able to fully do them. Taker charges at HHH, who catches him with a spinebuster through the announce table. Inside, Taker hits a chokeslam and they exchange counters until Taker hits snake eyes. HHH brings in a chair but eats a boot. Taker uses the chair but takes a Pedigree for two. HHH goes for ten punches in the corner but Taker counters into the Last Ride for two. Undertaker is pissed. He nails the Tombstone, but this is WrestleMania so that’s not enough. HHH comes back with a DDT on the steel chair and both men are down. There has been a ton of that in this match. They get up together and Trips hits a second Pedigree for two. He hits a THIRD PEDIGREE but again Undertaker kicks out. In a vicious showing, Triple H beats the hell out of the Undertaker with a steel chair, shouting for the Deadman to stay down. Undertaker slowly gets to his feet, only to take a chair to the skull, which was already outlawed by this point. You can bust it out when you’re these two though. HHH is pissed that he won’t stay down, so he does the throat cut signal and plants him with a Tombstone. That still somehow only gets two and the fans bite HARD on the near fall. Trips slowly backs away in shock and fear. Triple H gets the sledgehammer, but Undertaker catches him in the Hell’s Gates submission! Triple H fights hard, even grabbing the sledgehammer again before passing out.
Winner: The Undertaker in 29:23
Not the kind of match you’d see every day. It featured a fair amount of both guys being down but the storytelling here was spot on. They busted out some big spots, while Trips doing everything possible to finish Undertaker was great. The tombstone tease finish was phenomenal. I still prefer their match from ten years earlier and the Taker/Michaels series though. ****
To continue the storytelling and set up a third match between them next year, Undertaker has to be carted off, while Triple H walks away. Undertaker was pissed that he didn’t look like a winner and wanted redemption. Funny how he was hell bent on revenge for this but when he actually lost the Streak to Brock he was okay with it.
Dolph Ziggler and LayCool w/ Vickie Guerrero vs. John Morrison, Trish Stratus and Snooki
I’ve always liked Dolph Ziggler, but man I was a huge LayCool mark at this time. A catfight breaks out before the bell even rings, so the boys separate them. Dolph yells at Snooki and gets slapped. LayCool argue about who is going to start, ending with us getting a short Trish/McCool exchange. I’d have liked a program between them. Trish does her Matrix move, but McCool has it scouted and stomps her. The Faith Breaker is countered into a facebuster. They fight up top and both crash to the floor, with McCool’s leg getting tangled up in an ugly way. Morrison takes out Dolph before Snooki gets the tag. She busts out a handspring elbow and cartwheel before a splash finishes this.
Winners: John Morrison, Trish Stratus and Snooki in 3:14
This was fine for what it was. The fans got a bit of a cool down, got to enjoy Trish and Snooki got to have a nice little moment. *¼
WWE Championship
The Miz (c) w/ Alex Riley vs. John Cena
The “Hate Me Now” Miz video package before the match is one of the best they’ve ever produced and that’s saying something. Their feeling out process sees John Cena utilize his power until Miz gets in a cheap shot to change things. Miz misses the Awesome clothesline and Cena gets two on the top rope Fameasser. Miz comes back and is in control for a bit until Cena goes into the FIVE MOVES OF DOOM! He pretty much whiffs on the Five Knuckle Shuffle though. Miz gets free of the Attitude Adjustment and nails a sweet snap DDT for two. After a turnbuckle is exposed, Cena locks in the STF. Miz is able to make the ropes and Riley sends Cena into the exposed buckle. Cena hits the AA but the referee was knocked down. Riley enters with his briefcase and waffles Cena. Miz covers but can only earn a near fall. Miz takes the briefcase and hits his boy by mistake. Cena nails the AA again but Miz shocks many by kicking out. He rolls outside and Cena charges him, taking both over the guardrail and into the crowd, resulting in a double countout. Miz’s head looked like it bounced on the concrete. The crowd rightfully destroys the double countout, until the Rock comes out. The GM tries to send a message but Rock is all “IT DOESN’T MATTER” and restarts the match. Cena tries the AA again, but eats a Rock Bottom, allowing the Miz to retain!
Winner and Still WWE Champion: The Miz in 15:21
A disappointing main event. While I liked Miz as champion, these two never really clicked, especially considering they were supposed to close the biggest show of the year. Regardless, it was literally only here to set up Rock/Cena “Twice in a Lifetime”. **
Of course, WrestleMania can’t end like that, so Rock beats up Miz too and stands tall over everyone.
Overall: 6/10; Average. I feel like this WrestleMania gets a bit more flak than it should. Granted, it’s not one of the best WrestleManias ever, but there have also been plenty worse. There are eight matches and I gave half of them three stars or more. The bad is really bad (Cole/Lawler and the eight man tag) and the mediocre is painfully mediocre (Miz/Cena and six person tag). However, I thought Cody/Rey, Del Rio/Edge, Punk/Orton and Taker/HHH were all good to really good. That makes this an acceptable show but disappointing overall for a Mania. I enjoyed the good more than I disliked the bad since, outside of Cole/Lawler, the bad didn’t overstay its welcome. According to my randomizer, the next “Random Network Review” is set to beMayhem 2000.
WWE Cruiserweight Classic
July 13th, 2016 | Full Sail University in Winter Park, FL
The highly anticipated debut of WWE's global cruiserweight tournament was finally upon us. Right off the bat, the presentation of the show was top notch. The opening video was like a video game and we also got a cool highlight video with Triple H's voiceover. Daniel Bryan and Mauro Ranallo were on commentary and did a great job for the most part. This felt like a true competition. They broke down height, weight, strengths and weaknesses, while Corey Graves led us to see some really cool video packages and match graphics in the "bracket control room".
Gran Metalik def. Alejando Saez in 4:04
This was a good way to open things. Gran Metalik represented Mexico, while Alejandro Saez was there for Chile. Metalik is notable for his time as Mascara Dorada ove in NJPW. This was a short but fun spotfest and really got the crowd going. I have to commend commentary, for discussing the fact that Saez had to quickly drop 30 pounds to make the cut and how that could be a factor. Metalik got in some really good athletic moves, while Saez had a great apron shooting star press. Metalik won with Chris Sabin's Cradle Shock in a fast paced opener that was fun. I wouldn't mind seeing Saez get another shot down the line. ***
I love the little things they added. Before matches, competitors are told instructions by the referee and are told to shake hands. After the bell, the official holds both guys' arms before raising the one of the winner, similar to what UFC does.
Ho Ho Lun def. Ariya Daivari in 5:04
Since he was representing Iran, Daivari got the generic "evil foreigner" music. Ho Ho Lun represented China. Daivari pulled a 2002 Christopher Daniels and refused to shake hands. Lun is really smal and had to wrestle as the underdog, while Daivari was the bigger, more aggressive heel. For me, neither guy really impressed. Daivari seemed a bit more polished, but Lun feels like he has a higher ceiling. He got to make the babyface rally before winning with a bridging German suplex. Fine match but nowhere near as fun as the opener. **
Cedric Alexander def. Clement Petiot in 5:59
So far, Cedric Alexander was the most popular guy. Mostly due to his name on the indies, but being American probably helped. Clement Petiot was in for France. I loved Petiot's pre-match video as he said he does no flips or moonsaults. I like a cruiserweight that works grounded. Petiot played into the heel role, shaking hands but pulling Alexander close and talking shit. They worked a really solid match with multiple counters. Petiot nearly decapitated Cedric on a lariat but got taken out with the lumbar check. I'd definitely love to see more from Petiot but it was clear that Alexander was the star. I'm really glad he's getting a chance after ROH dropped the ball with him. ***
Kota Ibushi def. Sean Maluta in 9:40
Sean Maluta is from American Samoa and is part of the never-ending Samoan wrestling family. Stop me if you've heard that story before. Kota Ibushi reps Japan and I honestly believe that he's the best Japanese wrestler under the WWE umbrella. Yes, better than Shinsuke Nakamura. Anyway, these two started out slowly and built to something bigger. Ibushi sold a leaping Codebreaker like death. Maluta also nearly killed himself on an insane somersault dive outside. Kudos to him for also coming close on a big superkick. The story was Ibushi though. He showed that, despite being a cruiserweight, he hits very hard. He got in an impressive pele kick and won with a sitout version of the Last Ride powerbomb. Best match of the night. Maluta looked good, Ibushi was what you expected and this now sets up our first second round match as Ibushi will go one on one with Alexander. ***1/4
Overall: 8/10. If I was rating this just on a presentation and coolness factor, this easily gets a perfect score. WWE presents itself as entertainment before wrestling and I understand that. This didn't feel like that. They know who this is catered towards and it was presented as a wrestling competition, which was so refreshing. Outside of the second match, all three were good and moved at a quick pace. They showcased some strong competitors and I cannot wait for more.
