WWE Network Reviews: Night of Champions 2009

Night of Champions 2009
July 26th, 2009 – Wachovia Center in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania – Attendance: 17,774

Unlike the 2008 Night of Champions, I remember a decent amount of stuff from 2009. I know that this was in the midst of the awesome CM Punk/Jeff Hardy rivalry that would last from Extreme Rules in June until SummerSlam in August. It also featured a WrestleMania rematch for the WWE Title just like 2008 did. Triple H, John Cena and Randy Orton met in a Triple Threat match at WrestleMania 24 and they would do so here again at Night of Champions. My uncle and cousin were at this show and they really enjoyed it, so hopefully, it holds up as a good show. Let's see if this can top the 2008 edition in the ongoing look at the history of Night of Champions.

As always, the opening video package is well done and mainly focuses on the two big Title matches, but does make mention and show other Champions which is a nice touch. We go straight to a title match already. Commentary team tonight features Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler.

WWE Unified Tag Team Championship
Chris Jericho and a Mystery Partner (c) vs. Legacy
For the second straight year, Cody Rhodes and Ted Dibiase are involved in a Tag Team Title match with a mystery partner. For those who don't know, Edge and Chris Jericho won the Unified Tag Team Titles, but Edge got injured so Jericho needed a new partner. We're taken to a short video of Edge discussing his injury before Jericho introduces his partner as Big Show. I remember being letdown at the time. In a precursor to WrestleMania 28, Big Show and Cody Rhodes start, as Show tosses him around the ring for a bit. After he dominates for a bit, Jericho comes in and works with Cody. I'd love an extended program between them, especially during Cody's 2012 IC Title run. You can tell Ted watched his dad growing up as he gets in some cheap shots on Jericho that turn the tide. This is tough for the crowd because both teams are heels. Jericho continues to get worked over, as I guess the hot tag will be to Big Show eventually. Dibiase hits a big powerslam and Legacy is looking rather impressive. Show makes a blind tag and he spears Ted Dibiase in half. His pin is broken up by Cody Rhodes, but he gets tossed out of the ring. Cody skins the cat and dropkicks Show. Dibiase runs right into the Codebreaker though and Show applies the Colossal Clutch on him, forcing him to tap.

Winners and Still WWE Unified Tag Team Champions: Chris Jericho and Big Show in 9:32
Despite being let down by the choice of Big Show and this match, I loved the Jeri-Show run. The Colossal Clutch looked brutal, but with both teams being heels, the crowd wasn't as into it as they could have been. **1/4

Josh Matthews is backstage and he introduces the World Heavyweight Champion, CM Punk. When Punk is asked about his match with Jeff Hardy tonight, he takes the microphone and heads out into the crowd. Punk torches the crowd for supporting someone like Jeff Hardy over him. Punk with a microphone is always golden.

ECW Championship
Tommy Dreamer (c) vs. Christian
Josh Matthews and Todd Grisham are now on commentary for this ECW contest. So in 2005, Christian went to TNA and wasn't pinned on television for about two years. Then he came to ECW and pretty much dominated too, so he had a long stretch of nearly never losing. Early on, Tommy Dreamer clearly has Christian well scouted as he countered some of his key stuff. Christian causes Dreamer to hit his face on the apron and follows with a baseball slide. His dive to the outside misses its mark, but Dreamer actually hits a front flip off the apron. Did not expect that. They go back inside, and Christian smartly decides to work Tommy's back. Tommy counters the Killswitch, but gets caught in a sleeper hold, only to drop back and squash Christian. Christian's high risk attempts continue to fail as Tommy stops another of his dives and sets him up in a tree of (Joey Lawrence) woe. Baseball slide follows in and although his DDT is blocked, he still hits a Sky High. YOU BETTER RECOGNIZE! Captain Charisma reverses a pump handle into a reverse DDT for two. He goes up top again and his dropkick again fails. Tommy puts him in the Texas Cloverleaf and Striker says he learned it from training with Dean Malenko. I love little mentions like that on commentary. We get a series of pinfall attempts and reversals until a Christian dropkick finally connects. Killswitch is countered to the DDT which is reversed to the Killswitch and the title switches as well.

Winner and New ECW Champion: Christian in 8:28
Two guys just went out and did their best with eight minutes. If my memory is right, this was Tommy's last WWE match and he went out in a good way. ***

Christian and Tommy Dreamer show each other respect before Tommy walks off and lets Christian celebrate. It's a commercial for 12 Rounds, which was a pretty bad movie. It's for the “extreme cut” which must be wrapped in barbed wire or something. Todd Grisham now interviews Jeri-Show and they talk about how they don't have to be good friends to work well. Jericho reaches for the microphone at one point and Show thinks he's going for a handshake and gets awkwardly left hanging.

WWE United States Championship Six Pack Challenge
Kofi Kingston (c) vs. Carlito vs. Jack Swagger vs. MVP vs. Primo vs. The Miz
I totally miss Jack Swagger's cocky character from his ECW and early Raw run. As soon as the bell rings, a brawl ensues but Carlito is sure to avoid Primo. Miz hits Primo with a neckbreaker that Michael Cole calls a backbreaker. Good going. Kofi and Carlito do an awesome little athletic sequence that ends with them crashing into each other. Miz and Swagger double team Primo in what has to be considered some sort of hate crime. Carlito goes for a springboard move but gets shoved outside and MVP hits Swagger with a nice belly to belly. Carlito does a pretty badass springboard anyway to take out MVP on the outside. Kofi flies around now and dropkicks Swagger. He follows with the Boom Drop but Miz breaks up the pin. He hits Swagger with the Awesome clothesline and goes up top, so Primo follows and it's time to set up a tower of doom. Kofi and Primo second rope suplex Miz while Swagger powerbombs both of them. Primo finally has his hands on Carlito and they cross body into each other. Kofi gets slammed hard by Swagger as Miz is dumped outside. MVP takes Swagger and himself out with a cross body. Kofi and the Colons have a bunch of near falls in a row and the Colons go to work together but it gets stopped. MVP knocks Swagger down and he's “BALLIN”. He hits the Playmaker right as Miz hits him with the Skull Crushing Finale. Primo stupidly believes in Carlito's teamwork and he eats a Backstabber. This allows Kofi to hit Trouble in Paradise from out of nowhere to retain. 

Winner and Still WWE United States Champion: Kofi Kingston in 8:35
Yes, it was pretty much just spot followed by spot and so on, but dammit, it was fun. You expect something like that from these guys and it was an enjoyable match. ***1/4

Randy Orton gets interviewed in the back and cuts a very Randy Orton like promo on his match tonight.

WWE Women's Championship
Michelle McCool (c) vs. Melina
Todd Grisham and Jim Ross are on commentary for Smackdown and they should be the best combination of the night. After being the first Divas Champion, Michelle McCool became the first person to win both that and the Women's Title by beating Melina at the previous Pay-Per-View. Before the match even starts, McCool knocks Melina off the apron when she goes for her split. Melina doesn't take too kindly to this as she fires away on Michelle with kicks in the corner. She goes for a rope hung move but misses and crashes to the outside. That turns the tide as McCool applies a sick looking half Boston crab, or as I like to call it, a Maple Leaf. Melina breaks it by reaching the ropes. McCool hits a DDT on the guardrail and it doesn't look great, but it was a cool idea. McCool now misses and falls outside, so Melina wraps her legs around Michelle's head and slams it into the apron. These ladies are being creative. McCool gets stuck in 619 position and Melina drives her knees into her back. Now McCool gets set up on the second turnbuckle and Melina stomps on her. Melina barely connects with a sloppy spinning heel kick for two. McCool hits a belly to belly but Melina comes back with a West Coast Pop. The later version when Rey just sat on people. McCool turns the pin attempt around and keeps the gold.

Winner and Still WWE Women's Champion: Michelle McCool in 6:12
A harder hitting match than most Divas matches I've seen. I have to give them credit for being creative and trying a lot of things they don't normally do. It wasn't the crispiest match but they tried. **3/4

WWE Championship
Randy Orton (c) vs. John Cena vs. Triple H
These are three of the biggest names of the 2000's and they've had two Triple Threat matches, but neither was able to main event their respective Pay-Per-Views which is interesting. Randy Orton wants no part of this to start so he goes outside but HHH and Cena corner him. He runs back inside and the same thing happens. They take turn pounding away on him and he tries to leave, but that obviously fails. Cena hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle sequence and goes for the Attitude Adjustment but HHH knocks him outside. Orton nails him from behind and starts to work a methodical pace to slow things down. Orton connects with a powerslam that didn't look anywhere near as good as it has in the past three or so years. Cena stops his rally with a double top rope Fameasser. Orton's like “I CAN DO DOUBLE MOVES TOO” as he tries a double rope hung DDT but HHH and Cena counter. They're left in the ring and it's one like it was last year. Slug fest time and the crowd is behind The Game. Shoulder blocks from Cena but HHH stops them with the high knee and then the facebuster to the knee. FU countered into Pedigree, countered into SFTU that gets blocks and then HHH reverses the AA into a Spinebuster. Nice callback to their match last year. Pedigree on Cena but Orton pulls HHH out during his pin. Things spill to the announce table and HHH 's Pedigree attempt is countered into an STFU on the table. Back inside, Cena and Orton exchange shots until they go up top. HHH interrupts this and and ends up getting slingshot into Orton, who gets crotched on the top. STF applied on HHH and there's too many acronyms in this match. Orton gets up and tries to punt Cena but he moves and rolls him up for two. Orton gets up and starts to stomp and drop knees on his challengers. Cena is up and tries Five Knuckle Shuffle but HHH sends him outside. HHH goes all The Rock and puts Orton in a sloppy Sharpshooter. Cena enters and puts Orton in the STF at the same and he taps. Mike Chioda can't make a call because they don't know who he's tapping to. Cody Rhodes and Ted Dibiase hit the ring and beat on HHH and Cena. Cena goes to hit Cody with the AA, but Orton nails him with the RKO and retains.

Winner and Still WWE Champion: Randy Orton in 22:19
That was good, but I personally prefer their WrestleMania XXIV bout. There was nothing wrong with it, but there was also nothing special with it. ***

The future married couple, The Miz and Maryse, flirt backstage. She disses him when he goes for a kiss because he didn't win the United States Championship. He calls her a tease and I could not take my eyes off of her and her cleavage.

WWE Divas Championship
Maryse (c) vs. Mickie James
Good lord, Maryse is hot. She throws her jacket at Mickie before the bell but it's Mickie who is the aggressor as the match starts. Maryse does everything to avoid Mickie in the early goings. She does manage to knock James outside with a loud kick and the count reaches eight before Mickie gets back in. Maryse applies a camel clutch of sorts and its much prettier than when Iron Sheik, Muhammad Hassan or Rusev does it. She lets it go and tosses Mickie outside again but James hits a Lou Thez Press and RIGHT HANDS! RIGHT HANDS! THE RATTLESNAKE STRIKES! Sorry, that move gets me carried away. James misses a high risk move and Maryse fires away with right hands. Mickie builds momentum and hits a neckbreaker for two. She goes to top but Maryse slams her off. Maryse's DDT is countered and Mickie hits the Mick-DT to end it.

Winner and New Divas Champion: Mickie James in 8:36
Disappointing. Maryse was never great in the ring, but Mickie was always good. This seemed like it got too much time as it dragged a bit. *1/4

Josh Matthews interviews Cody Rhodes and Ted Dibiase, who are proud that while they lost, they cost John Cena and Triple H the match. We actually get a video package for this Intercontinental Title match, which is a rarity. 

WWE Intercontinental Championship
Rey Mysterio (c) vs. Dolph Ziggler w/ Maria Kanellis
First Maryse and now Maria? I can't handle this. The Intercontinental Title received a bit of a revival during this time as Rey Mysterio was hot off of a great feud with Chris Jericho and until about the end of 2009, IC Title matches were show stealers. Fun fact, Dolph Ziggler went to high school in Lakewood, Ohio, which is not far from where I currently live. Both guys get early near falls and seem to be trying to feel each other out. Dolph uses a headlock but is very aggressive. They cut to Maria a few times and she is so hot. They botch a head scissors spot from Rey but make up for it with an awesome buckle bomb from Dolph. He whips Rey into the corner hard and gets his third or fourth near fall already. He does his headstand headlock but the crowd doesn't react to it. The jerks. Another head scissors sends Dolph shoulder first into the post and he follows with the West Coast Pop and a springboard cross body for two. Dolph gets sent outside and Rey connects with another West Coast Pop off the apron. Back inside, Rey counters a Tiger Bomb into a hurricanrana but misses the 619. Dolph applies the Masterlock, because NOBODY UNDER SIX FEET HAS EVER BROKEN HIS MASTERLOCK. Rey breaks it, ruining that, but Dolph puts it back on. He's working a more methodical pace than he does now. Rey counters into a pin and both men get near falls. Dolph hits an odd jawbreaker and gets another near fall. Lots of those in this match. Rey tries a high risk move but Dolph dropkicks him in mid-air for two near falls. He charges at Rey in the corner but misses and hits the corner oddly. Rey sets up for a top rope hurricanrana, but Dolph gets him on his shoulders and hits a second rope gut buster for the closest near fall yet. Dolph goes for a slam but it's countered and he ends up in 619 position. Rey connects and, following a splash, gets the three.

Winner and Still WWE Intercontinental Champion: Rey Mysterio in 14:20
This is the match that really made Dolph Ziggler stick out to me. It was the first time that I thought he had something. Really good stuff and they would best it the following month at SummerSlam. The only issue was that the crowd was rather dead due to Dolph still being a relative unknown. ***3/4

The build up promo for the main event focuses on how CM Punk hurt his eye against Jeff Hardy at the Bash and then kicked the referee, which caused people to say he got disqualified on purpose. Then it turned to CM Punk targeting Jeff's troubled lifestyle and I have to say, this was the perfect feud for CM Punk. It was one of my all time favorites. 

World Heavyweight Championship
CM Punk (c) vs. Jeff Hardy
I just want to point out how awesome it is that these two got to main event a Pay-Per-View that featured Randy Orton, Triple H and John Cena in the same match. Some basic stuff starts the match until Punk goes for the early GTS. Jeff counters and tries the Twist of Fate but that's stopped too. Hardy gets knocked outside so Punk goes for a suicide dive and misses. A nice bit of storytelling because he went all Hardy with the risky move and it backfired. And of course, Jeff tries a dive outside and misses too. Punk is all about taking a countout victory but Jeff is in right before ten. Punk applies a bow and arrow to wear down Jeff. Punk sets up for a second rope suplex but Jeff reverses and hits a sitout inverted suplex. Jeff starts to get his offense going with a 90's inverted atomic drop, leg drop and dropkick. However, when he tries Whisper in the Winds, Punk knocks him down. Punk hits his awesome knee strike in the corner, but Jeff blocks the bulldog and hits Whisper in the Winds for two. He tries the Swanton Bomb but Punk sits up and Jeff crashes and burns. Punk hits a nice backbreaker and locks on a badass looking dragon sleeper. Like, it seriously looks like it hurts a lot. Punk slaps Hardy around but gets hit with the Twist of Fate from out of nowhere. The shirt is off and Jeff goes up top. His Swanton Bomb is stopped by Punk's knees and that gets the Champion a near fall. Punk hits the Go to Sleep but somehow Jeff kicks out. Punk covers twice more but can't get it and he's in disbelief. Punk takes his belt and goes to walk off, but Jeff stops him and brings him back inside. A Twist of Fate and Swanton Bomb later and we have a new Champion.

Winner and New World Heavyweight Championship: Jeff Hardy in 14:56
I really love this feud and I really enjoy their matches. The best match of the night and a surprise result since Jeff was on his way out. ****

Overall: 8/10. Great. I don't remember this show being this good but man I really had fun with this. The only matches that weren't good was the opener and the Divas Title match. The Women's Title match was really good, the WWE Title match was solid and the United States Championship bout was fun. The last two matches made the show though as they're both great and you should go out and watch them.

Through the Years Reviews: Rebellion 2002

WWE Rebellion 2002
October 26th, 2002 – Manchester Arena in Manchester, England – Attendance: 13,416

So here is the one of the last WWE UK only Pay-Per-Views and it happens to be the very first Smackdown exclusive show. Their Insurrextion show earlier in the year was Raw only and it was pretty bad, so hopefully this does better. As we know from my previous reviews, Brock Lesnar is in the midst of his first run as WWE Champion. Hot off the heels of a huge win over The Undertaker in Hell in a Cell, he is scheduled to defend the belt in a handicap match on this show, with Paul Heyman as his partner and Edge as his opponent. I don't know why. Anyway, No Mercy, the previous Pay-Per-View, was a mixed bag. Raw provided some mediocre matches, while Smackdown was awesome. Maybe this show will be awesome.

The opening video package is awesome and shows some of Brock Lesnar's dominance before cutting to highlights of the Smackdown brand. Good stuff. Your announce team for the evening is Smackdown's Tazz and Michael Cole. Ugh, a promo to open a show. But, it's Stephanie McMahon so I can't fully complain because she's hot. She welcomes the fans and announces that The Undertaker's wife is in labor so he didn't make the trip with the rest of the brand. Then she says that as part of a trade with Eric Bischoff, a Raw superstar has flown in to replace him and it's the FIVE TIME FIVE TIME FIVE TIME FIVE TIME FIVE TIME WCW Champion, Booker T.

Booker T vs. Matt Hardy
Matt Hardy loves English muffins. That's right, it's Matt Hardy Version 1! Matt calls for a test of strength in the beginning but pulls back, so Booker does it back to him. Booker wins the early exchanges with a dropkick that sends Version 1 to the outside. Back inside, Booker again is in control so Matt retreats again but Booker wails away on him at ringside. Matt Hardy retaliates with the EDDIE GILBERT hot shot because that spot has to happen at least once a show. He sends Booker into the corner but gets caught in a rollup for two. Matt hits the Side Effect, which I always liked and gets two of his own. We get a good old fashioned rest hold from Matt and Booker rallies behind the hot crowd. He hits a big spinebuster and both men are down until the count of eight. Booker busts out a spinning heel kick but only earns a near fall. Matt does his weird ass scream and misses his second rope leg drop. Booker climbs up and hits a weak looking missile dropkick. SPINAROONIE, oh no, Matt interrupts but eats a Book End, only to get his foot on the rope. Matt uses this to get close to a win but falls victim to the Scissors Kick.

Winner: Booker T in 12:01
Good opener. The crowd was hot for Booker T, you get the Raw guy out of the way, the face won and it was a fun bout. Just what it needed to be. **3/4

Booker T grabs a microphone and tells the fans that it's not over because he didn't get to do a SPINAROONIE! He does one to the crowd's liking. Cutting to the back, Paul Heyman is walking through the halls and he looks pissed. He barges into Stephanie McMahon's office to complain about the WWE Title match tonight. Stephanie shuts him down and the match is still going down.

Billy Kidman and Torrie Wilson vs. John Cena and Dawn Marie
I'm confused here. John Cena is clearly still in RUTHLESS AGGRESSION mode, but I always thought he was a face for that and he's teaming with the heel here? Also, I'll never understand why Billy Kidman moved on from his WCW theme. The Divas have toe separated before the bell and I guess Cena is a heel as he attacks Kidman from behind. He shows that he is indeed the prototype with a stalling vertical suplex while doing squats. That's impressive and he should use it now. Dawn blind tags in and kicks Torrie's real life husband at the time in the ribs. Kidman is unfazed, holds Dawn over his knee and Torrie spanks her. Torrie actually does a leap frog and dropkick which is more than I usually see from her. As the girls get into a catfight, Kidman wisely gets in the ring and pulls them onto him to roll with them. He celebrates after it which is awesome. Cena comes in behind the referee's back and slams Torrie. He gets the tag and threatens to do more damage to Torrie, but she low blows him. Kidman comes in and lights him up for a bit. Kidman hits the BoDog for a near fall as Torrie tackles Dawn to the mat. Cena eats a vicious enziguri, followed by the Shooting Star Press and this one is over.

Winners: Billy Kidman and Torrie Wilson in 5:24
I didn't expect to, but I enjoyed the hell out of that. A fun five minutes with Cena enjoying the heel tactics while Kidman showed personality with the catfight big. Fun stuff. **1/2

After the match, Torrie Wilson plants a big kiss on Billy Kidman and he's totally getting some after this show. They interview Edge about his first ever WWE Title shot and they're doing a decent job of building his shot throughout the night.

Crash Holly vs. Funaki
What the h-e-double hockey sticks is this doing on Pay-Per-View? This isn't even Smackdown worthy, it belongs on Velocity. Crash stops mid match to bring out a headband because he knows karate or something. Funaki will have none of this because, being Asian, of course he must know karate himself. Crash gets near falls with a cross body and side slam. He must be serious because he tosses away the headband and applies a headlock. It's strange that Crash is the more powerful guy in any match and he hits a big clothesline. He misses a move in the corner, allowing Funaki to hit a bulldog. Tazz decides it's time to do a Gordon Solie impersonation for some reason. They go into a series of rollups that Funaki wins and gets gets the three.

Winner: Funaki in 5:37
I don't know why this was on the Pay-Per-View, though Funaki was at least a bit over as SMACKDOWN NUMBA ONE ANNOUNCA. This wasn't awful. *3/4

Nidia is walking backstage when she finds a smelly security guard and she complains about it to Jamie Noble. Nidia was pretty damn good in this role, though she was never the most attractive Diva. We see Rey Mysterio getting ready in a weird ass segment where he looks at the camera and breathes heavily.

WWE Cruiserweight Championship Elimination Triple Threat Match
Jamie Noble (c) w/ Nidia vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Tajiri
Elimination rules? Hell yes! The match starts with Rey getting attacked at the bell, but he comes back with a corkscrew plancha onto both of his opponents outside. Mysterio kicks Noble in the midst of a bulldog on Tajiri. Nice spots early on. Tajiri dropkicks the Champion while he's in the tree of woe and then puts Rey into the Tarantula. Noble dropkicks him to break the hold though. Tajiri kicks the hell out of Rey but turns right into a Tiger Bomb from Noble, who eliminates him early on. I wish we got the the three person dynamic for a bit longer. Nidia gets in cheap shots as he pulls Rey's shoulder across the turnbuckle because HEELS. Jamie Noble shouts “what's my name” and the fans needed to respond with “JAMIE NOBLE BOY” but they don't and I'm disappointed. Noble works over Rey for a while and earns a kiss from Nidia. Rey counters an electric chair drop into a badass tornado DDT. He gets a near fall with a springboard leg drop and a top rope crotch drop or something. He hits a sweet sunset flip bomb but Nidia distracts the referee. He still gets ready for a 619 but Nidia trips him hard. That allows for the Tiger Bomb but Rey kicks out! I didn't expect that. He goes for an electric chair drop again, but Rey counters into a pin. Noble counters that into his own pin and uses Nidia for leverage to retain.

Winner and Still Cruiserweight Champion: Jamie Noble in 12:47
Very fun Triple Threat match and I wish that we got more elimination style ones. ***1/4

After the match, Rey hits a 619 on both Noble and Nidia. A 12 2 18! In the back, Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit are arguing about who the captain of their team is. They are a funny pair who can get very serious quickly and that's beautiful.

Chuck Palumbo and Val Venis vs. D-Von Dudley and Ron Simmons
So Palumbo went from teaming with his gay lover to teaming with a porn star? Also, D-Von and Simmons come out to the Reverend D-Von theme but he's not in reverend attire. For some reason, the action starts even before the bell as if this is some hotly contested rivalry. Venis dominates the early stages but eats a big spinebuster that stops him in his tracks. Palumbo eventually gets the hot tag and comes in on fire. Palumbo and Venis use the most vanilla double team moves, like a double hip toss before Chuck hits Simmons with an impressive belly to belly. That doesn't matter as D-Von and Simmons win with a rollup and a handful of tights.

Winners: D-Von Dudley and Ron Simmons in 4:09
Well that was boring. It had no heat because nobody cares about these four guys. It wasn't terrible but it wasn't very good either. *1/2

Los Guerreros cut a promo about bringing their Grandma down to Germany with them. Chavo says they're in Ireland and regardless of where they are, it's not better than Mexico.

Kiss My Ass Match
Albert vs. Rikishi
Before the match starts, Alberto cuts a promo about how sexy he is. Yup. They trade big blows to start and Alberto runs away at the sight of Rikishi's ass. They got for a test of strength but Rikishi goes for a headbutt. In an absolute reversal of normal wrestling rules, the Samoan's headbutt has no effect on the white guy. Albert headbutts him down because he has a huge dome. Albert applies a headlock for a while but Rikishi rallies before his arm drops three times. He hits a Samoan drop because every Samoan has that move in their repertoire. Albert exposed a turnbuckle earlier, and it backfires as he gets sent into it. A superkick and Banzai Drop follows, meaning he will join the Rikishi “Kiss my Ass Club”

Winner: Rikishi in 7:17
Not a terrible big man match, but it's one of three matches on the card that didn't have good heat. Not many people really cared for Albert. *1/2

Albert tries to leave without kissing ass, so the referee gets on the microphone and tells him that if he doesn't get back in the ring, he'll be suspended without pay. Referees have more authority than I thought. Albert gets down on his knees and instead of kissing, he attacks Rikishi. He goes for a stinkface but gets hit with a low blow, allowing Rikishi to give him the stinkface. He calls in Tazz, Tony Chimel and Michael Cole to dance with him and it's awkward. 

WWE Tag Team Championship
Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle (c) vs. Los Guerreros
Because they're who they are, Angle and Benoit go back and forth on who should star the match, even polling the fans. Angle starts with Chavo and clearly has the strength advantage. Benoit ends up getting tagged in but the fans are loudly chanting “We want Angle!” He has a sweet exchange with Eddie that includes a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Angle ends up hitting a German on Chavo that the crowd pops for, so Eddie nails him. Benoit enters and hits him with a German before arguing with Kurt. As the Guerreros get up, the Champions hit stereo Germans for another pop. It's pretty badass that a tag team is built off of two guys trying to one up each other. Los Guerreros end up isolating Benoit with quick tags and some solid tag team wrestling. Benoit gets tired of that and tries the Crossface but can't get it. GORY SPECIAL on Benoit, because Eddie is a Guerrero and this move is in their DNA. Benoit nails a flapjack and an absolutely vicious powerbomb but Chavo gets in a cheap shot to prevent the hot tag. Because he's a G, Benoit ends up getting Chavo in the Crossface anyway but Eddie stops it. Angle gets the hot tag and starts suplexes everyone in sight. Benoit is jealous so he starts hitting Germans all over the place as well. He connects with the flying headbutt on Eddie but the pin is broken by Chavo. Eddie gets a near fall that's stopped by Benoit with a Crossface but he's not the legal man. Eddie counters the Angle Slam by shoving Angle into Benoit. They get into a shoving match, allowing Eddie to put Kurt in the El Paso Lasso. Angle is a MACHINE though and turns that into the Ankle Lock! Eddie taps but there's no referee. Chavo nails Eddie weakly with one of the belts and puts the ref back in the ring. Angle kicks out though. He comes back with the Angle Slam and wins it for his team.

Winners and still WWE Tag Team Champions: Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle in 16:36
These four guys pretty much can't have a bad match. While they've had better encounters this is still the match of the night and a very enjoyable contest. ***3/4

Paul Heyman is struggling to do any sort of calisthenics and Brock warns him that he better not lose him the WWE Title tonight.

WWE Championship Handicap Match
Brock Lesnar (c) and Paul Heyman vs. Edge
I would've totally preferred just Brock vs. Edge but I'm intrigued by Heyman being part of this. Edge is overwhelmed by Brock's power in the early stages, but shows how resilient he is by using his quickness. Edge was a very good underdog face and he doesn't get enough credit for that. He gets some early falls with surprise rollups that just end up pissing off Brock. Heyman uses his dastardly tactics to get in some cheap shots but Edge rallies with a spinning heel kick on Brock and a Spear that knocks Heyman off the apron. Brock gets a moment to breath and starts back on the assault. Each time that Edge seems like he's going to turn things around, Brock proves to be just too much for him. This is exactly how a Brock Lesnar match should go. Brock, being the monster heel that he is, applies a bearhug on Edge that they call the Brock Lock. I remember the Brock Lock being that submission where he would put your leg over his neck and wrench. I could be wrong though. Edge fights out and hits a big dropkick in the corner before hitting Heyman with a baseball slide. That was dumb because he walks right into a spinebuster. Edge is fighting back again and plants Brock face first before hitting the Edge-o-Matic for two. He knocks Brock out of the ring and brings in Heyman. Top rope spinning heel kick allows him to pin Heyman but Brock saves his belt. Edge manages to pick up a close near fall and the crowd believes in him. He leaps off the top and takes out the referee by mistake. He counters the F5 into the Edgecution and no ref is there to make the count. Brock takes a sick swing with a chair and misses, allowing Edge to hit the Spear! He gets a ridiculously close two count and then is put down for good by an F5.

Winner and Still WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman in 18:50
That was enjoyable. Brock dominated the majority as he should and then Edge made the furious run in the end and actually had the fans thinking he might win. That's impressive. ***3/4

After the match, Paul Heyman yells at Edge for Spearing him and he has a steel chair. Edge kicks the chair into his face and plants him with the Edgecution to send the fans home with a smile.

Overall: 5.5/10; Decent. The last two matches are really good and damn near great. There's a bit too much filler here as Smackdown might not have been ready to do it's own Pay-Per-View yet, just like Raw earlier in the year. The Cruiserweight Title match is another one to watch for, while the first two matches were both rather enjoyable. That's not enough to fully recommend this show.

Smackdown Report 9-12-14

After a ten man tag team match main evented Smackdown last week, an eight man tag match opened things here. Theodore Long would be proud. Somewhere, he's wiping away a tear. Team one was Big Show, Mark Henry and the WWE Tag Team Champions, The Usos. Their opposition was The Dust Brothers and Erick Rowan and Luke Harper. I hate when the Wyatt Family is booked like they're just normal guys in the back. Their mystique should be better protected but I guess not. Good little clusterfuck that ended when Stardust got KO punched and then pinned after an Uso splash.

We get a recap of the John Cena/Paul Heyman promo from Raw and then the Authority discuss being villains backstage. Nothing major. Bo Dallas comes out for a match with Justin "I'm still relevant" Gabriel. The bell rings and Bo cuts a promo on Swagger. I love his character. So much. Zeb interrupts and badmouths him, even mentioning Ariana Grande. Funny. Bo still manages to win in about three minutes, including the promo. Not bad and continued this feud, which I have to commend for being a mid-card feud that's not for a belt. I miss these little rivalries. After the match, Swagger sends Bo running scared.

AJ Lee skips to the ring for commentary and look, it's my favorite time of the show. Paige is out for a non-title match against another of my favorite Divas, Summer Rae. This was the usual Smackdown Divas match that wasn't bad but only got like two minutes. Paige won using AJ's Black Widow, so AJ was pissed, entered the ring, and hit Layla with the Paige Turner. Fun stuff to continue their rivalry and I'm still not happy about the addition of Nikki Bella to my glorious feud. It's my two favorite Divas and then Nikki.

Michael Cole is the host for the International Arm Wrestling Contest between Mark Henry and Rusev. If Henry loses, does the "World's Strongest Man" gimmick mean nothing? Henry wins, so throw that out the window, with both the left and right hands. Of course, Rusev has to beat down on Mark Henry. Basic stuff. My love, Renee Young, interviews Chris Jericho, who puts over his Steel Cage match with Bray Wyatt as the best Steel Cage in Raw history. Nope, says Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit. The Jericho promo is intense as he calls himself the "Viper Vanquisher" and other names. Oh well, here's a picture of Lana in a bikini.

There's a $9.99 song. Understand that and go watch it. It's ridiculous but catchy. Anyway, The Miz and his stunt double, the incredible Damien Mizdow walk to the ring. Dolph Ziggler is out to the stage and says that he has his own stunt double. Ohmygoodness it's R-Truth in full Ziggler gear. HE DOES THE BUTT SHAKE ENTRANCE WITH HIM! This was about a nine minute bout and was decent at best. The Ziggler/Miz match at Night of Champions should be fine just like it was at SummerSlam but the story tonight was R-Ziggler and he hit the Zig Zag to win. Stealing the show couldn't be more true tonight, pun intended. The pun is always intended.

Recap time as we pretty much have to watch the entire Jerry Springer/Bella segment, with JJ Bella and everything. Byron Saxton is backstage with Nikki Bella but her interview is cut off by AJ Lee. AJ calls her a lap dog for Stephanie McMahon before Paige shows up and also disrespects Nikki Bella before telling AJ that it's between them and that she loves her. God, there was so much greatness with this promo. AJ and Paige being awesome and completely acting like Nikki is irrelevant, which she should be.

The main event tonight features Randy Orton teaming with fellow Authority member Seth Rollins to take on Chris Jericho and Roman Reigns. Again, Teddy Long watches like a proud papa. This would be the longest match of the night, going for eleven minutes and Reigns made the entire Tumblr world cry when he told Seth that "he will always be his little brother." Jericho gets the win for his team by pinning Orton. Decent stuff, but again, nothing to write home about.

Another week, another decent Smackdown. Nothing major happens but we got some solid wrestling and that's all I can ask for since Smackdown isn't as important as it used to be. 6.5/10

NXT TakeOver Review

So the best WWE shows of the year have been WrestleMania and Payback. Those are the only shows that be considered on the level of the NXT Live Specials. NXT has gone two for two so far in Live Specials so let's see how the third can do. We open with the NXT Tag Team Championship as the Ascension put their 344 day reign on the line against Sin Cara and Kalisto. They've now been dubbed the Lucha Dragons which instantly make them cooler. We got a good opener, better than any other Ascension match I can remember. Kalisto works at such a fast pace that it led to some botches but this was still fun and he pinned Viktor with his finisher. A lot of fun and the win was a big deal. ***

Next, out came the "Moon Child" CJ Parker. On the Pre-Show, he interrupted the talk of KENTA's debut so a lot of people expected him to be involved with KENTA on the main show. Instead, he would face Baron Corbin, making his debut. This lasted about a minute and Baron Corbin won this easy squash with a tremendously impressive finisher. I feel like this guy may be one to watch down the road. No Rating

It's time for Hair vs. Hair! Sylvestor Lefort or Lefart as Enzo Amroe calls him, comes out first with Marcus Louis to some strange music. Enzo and Big Cass follow and are entertaining as always. The match itself wasn't anything special as Enzo still needs work in the ring. He is always entertaining though but still doesn't have a finisher. He won following a rollup and they chased down Lefort. He ran scared so they ended up using the hair removal cream on Louis. As a whole, the segment was fun. **1/2

It was now time to introduce Japanese sensation KENTA! William Regal welcomes him and he's shown as being a big deal. He gets on the microphone and struggles with English so that was rather awkward. He announces that he's changing his name in honor or an idol of his and will be known as Hideo Itami. I prefer KENTA, but this is fine. Some people online were upset about it but they need to get over it. He was interrupted by the Ascension which surprised the hell out of me. They were pissed about dropping the belts and threw Hideo out of the ring. THEY DUN MESSED UP! Hideo gets in the ring and takes them out while in casual attire. Hideo is going to be a badass. Enjoy this picture from Triple H's Twitter. The future is bright.

To calm the crowd down, as they were loud for Hideo's debut, we get Bull Dempsey vs. Mojo Rawley. I had no expectations heading into this match and I was right to feel that way. This didn't exceed or disappoint. It was a short match that Bull Dempsey won. He won with a headbutt and I would prefer he did an actual splash since he's a pretty big dude. These are probably my two least favorite NXT performers. It gets an extra half star because I hate Mojo more. **

At ArRival, Emma and Paige had one of the best women's matches I can remember. At TakeOver, Charlotte and Natalya bested that. Tonight, Bayley and Charlotte did just as good. Charlotte has only impressed me against Natalya but she did well here too. Bayley is too adorable for words, so I was hurt that she lost. She did bust out a top rope hurricanrana, causing Byron Saxton to shout "WHAT THE WHAT?" Charlotte hit a moonsault that looked poor and won with her finisher. A really good women's match. Sasha Banks came out to attack Bayley after the match and Charlotte saved her out of respect. I sense a Triple Threat match. The three best women's matches of the year have all been on NXT. ***1/4

It was about 9:23 and the entrances for the main event started. THEY WERE GETTING 30 MINUTES! My goodness did they use it well. Things started out with a brawl outside and even featured a double suplex at the top of the ramp. I'm not even going to try and break down play by play of any sorts here. Tyson Kidd impressed me more than I expected. He nearly won with a Sharpshooter but Adrian Neville jumped in and caught Tyler Breeze's arm mid tap out. Breeze hit his beautiful Supermodel kick and came close on two occasions. Sami Zayn was easily the crowd favorite and came close on a few tries too, none bigger than after kicking Kidd in the face. He had the three but Neville pulled the referee out of the ring. He then kicked Zayn in the face and hit the Red Arrow on Kidd to win as Zayn was inches away from making the save. Outstanding match that had me on the edge of my seat. That's how you close a show. ****1/2

Seriously if you don't watch NXT then you are missing out on the very best part of the WWE. This was yet another standout show from them. Not everything was great as Bull/Mojo was crap the lack of actual payoff for Enzo/LeFort was disappointing. Everything else delivered though. Solid tag team match, really good women's match, KENTA was fun and the main event was one of the best matches of the year. Overall: 8/10. 

NXT TakeOver: Fatal 4 Way Predictions

As I type this, I'm watching the NXT TakeOver Preview on the WWE Network, hosted by the goddess Renee Young and she keeps calling it TakeOver: Fatal 4 Way, so I'm going with that. I still feel that ArRival has had the best card of any NXT Special, but I think this show looks stronger than the last. Let's dive into the predictions.

Let's start with the match that I'm looking forward to the least. I can't seem to stop saying good things about NXT, but the one guy that always gets negativity from me is Mojo Rawley. His character sucks and his in-ring work is awful. Bull Dempsey isn't much better as I haven't really bought into his old school tough guy shtick. I hope this is short and Bull makes quick work of Mojo so we can move onto the more fun matches.

Winner: Bull Dempsey

Enzo Amore is one of the best characters on NXT. He has the gift of gab, the silver tongue or whatever you want to call it. The one thing that I haven't gotten the chance to really see is how good he is in the ring. I've only ever witnessed his tag team matches so this is something I'm interested in. Sylvestor Lefort is the one who has to get his head shaved here right? Enzo's hair is too cool to shave. Oh well, the match should be fun as Enzo is incredibly over with the NXT crowd.

Winner: Enzo Amore AND YOU CANT TEACH THAT

While I've never been into Sin Cara, Kalisto is an absolute blast to watch so this instantly makes it the most interesting Ascension title defense. At ArRival they faced Too Cool and last time out it was Kalisto and El Local, and Sin Cara is an upgrade over Ricardo Rodriguez. Sorry Ricardo. I'm kind of torn here. On the one hand, I can see the Acension losing and moving to the main roster, but on the other hand, I don't see Sin Cara and Kalisto as Champions. I'm going go the easy route and choose the Ascension to retain. They can always "Paige" the belts and give them up.

Winner: The Ascension

Before the previous TakeOver, I felt that Charlotte was unimpressive. Then her match with Natalya changed my opinion. Since then she's had solid matches with Becky Lynch, but a real stinker with Summer Rae. Regardless, I remain unsold on Charlotte but the WWE is high on her. That Flair name. Bayley is awesome and the most popular Diva on NXT. If the WWE really wants Lady Flair to come to the main roster, then dropping the strap to Bayley would make sense. The pop would be tremendous. I thoroughly enjoy Bayley and really hope that she wins.

Winner: Bayley

This is the hardest match to predict by far. First, I can safely eliminate Tyson Kidd. I never see him as NXT Champion. Then there's Adrian Neville. He's had a good, long reign as NXT Champion since February and I don't think he needs to continue as the top guy. I don't think he needs to move to the main roster yet but someone else should run as the top guy in Florida. Sami Zayn is the best guy on NXT and probably the entire roster not named Daniel Bryan. However, I think that his crowning moment should come in a singles match at maybe the next NXT Special. That leaves Prince Pretty himself. Tyler Breeze can pull out the win here, get a successful defense against Neville down the line and eventually drop the belt to Zayn at another show. I hope that Sami wins, but I believe that Tyler will.

Winner: Tyler Breeze