Raw Report 12/8/14

The Slammy Award edition of Monday night Raw opened with Seth Green, the Slammy host, coming out. He's here to present the "This is Awesome" award but is interrupted by Miz and Mizdow. It's not much, but Mizdow does indeed steal the show. It's insane how over the guy has become by taking something like being a second to The Miz of all people. As the fans are now able to vote, Dolph Ziggler is out for the opening contest against Seth Rollins. Despite this being two of the best workers in the company and two guys who have some good chemistry, this did not click. Due to interference from J&J Security, Seth was able to score the pinfall with the Blackout. After the match, Sting's debut won for This is Awesome moment, but of course he wasn't in attendance. Seth was furious that it won, so he accepted and stole it. Awards being won by guys who aren't there weekly will be a theme for the evening.

As stated on my Smackdown Report, I'd be all for a New Day/Dust Brothers feud if they got actual microphone time. It seems like we're partially headed there as Kofi Kingston defeated Stardust in a decent little contest here. My biggest problem is the lack of character development and promo time. During the match, Michael Cole informs us of something that Goldust said, which I forgot, but maybe I'd remember if Goldust actually got the chance to say it. I tend to ignore most of what Cole, and commentary in general, says. Our presenter for Surprise Return of the Year is Mr. People Power himself, John Laurinaitis. Maybe I'm weird like this, but I marked a little for his appearance. I rather enjoyed him as a heel General Manager, and felt that he didn't get enough time running things. After announcing the nominees, of which only one was an actual surprise, it is announced that the Ultimate Warrior wins. Not surprising, but it is very hard to not vote for him.

Seth Rollins is backstage with J&J Security when Paul Heyman comes up to him. He talks about Brock Lesnar and wonders if Seth is next in line for a title shot if he wins at TLC. Seth reminds him that he has a briefcase so he can cash in on his time and not Brock's. Uhh, the only way that happens is if you go to Brock's house in a Crash Holy like Hardcore Title defense. Brock hasn't been seen since September. NXT TIME! The NXT Women's Champion, Charlotte, comes out for a match against Natalya to help promote NXT TakeOver this week. Their match at TakeOver in May was pretty phenomenal but Charlotte hasn't impressed me much since then. It's not supposed to be about her lineage, but she "Woos" non-stop. This was short and Natalya won with a small package. Part of me liked that Nattie won, since the NXT people shouldn't be able to just dominate the main roster, but Charlotte should have been made to look better. Tyson Kidd, with a hoodie that has FUCKING CAT EARS on it, takes credit for the win because he's amazing.

Smackdown General Manager for a week, Santino Marella, is out to present OMG Moment of the Year. It's very clearly Brock Lesnar breaking the Streak, so the voters got it right. Paul Heyman comes out to accept and keeps it short. The Wyatt signature hits and I'm all like "THE FUCK? BRAY AND HEYMAN? WHAT'S ABOUT TO HAPPEN?" The answer? Nothing. Bray just walks to the ring for a promo. Trickery. He talks about Sister Abigail and how much his broken rocking chair hurts. He calls himself a monster and claims that the end is near. A siren sounds off. It's not Cesaro but it sounds a lot more like Scott Steiner. Sadly, it is not the promo god either but an ambulance backing into the arena. The back opens and Dean Ambrose appears, complete with a neckbrace and fog machine. The fog makes me wonder if it's something else entirely and maybe Dean was with RVD in the ambulance. He comes to the ring and they go at it. it's a pretty damn good build and I'm looking forward to that match more than any other. He gets on the mic and says that hte only way Bray leaves TLC is in an Ambulance. TABLES, LADDERS, CHAIRS...STAIRS...AND AMBULANCES?

Seth Green comes out to announce the next presenter and he marks out about the Ambrose/Bray segment. Jerry "The Pervert" Lawler comes to the stage to present Diva of the Year. I voted Paige because of obvious reasons. This is the only award where the nominees are shown lined up in the back. As AJ Lee is announced as the winner, Titus O'Neill appears randomly in a suit for no reason but steals the show. AJ's acceptance speech featured name drops for Bayley, Sasha Banks, Charlotte, Emma and Paige, saying that maybe next year they can win since she changed what it means to be a Diva. It sounded like she doesn't plan on being around this time next year. We move into Erick Rowan vs. Luke Harper and I'm pissed. First off, they should not be fighting and secondly, if they do fight, there needs to be build and an angle. Give them reason. Instead, we get a short match that at least ends with no clean winner. Harper attacks with a ladder, Rowan retaliates with stairs and wins out. How do you build your big Intercontinental Title match at TLC? Have Dolph get beaten by Seth and Harper get overpowered by Rowan. Good job.

Backstage, The Usos walk up to Naomi with their Tag Team of the Year Slammys that they won on the Pre-Show. Jey heads off while Jimmy states that winning that is the second best part of his year, behind marrying Naomi. So I guess winning the Tag Team Titles didn't mean much, huh? She says that she's going to Hollywood to talk to Miz's agent and Jimmy is being the jealous boyfriend. Adam Rose and the Exotic Express come out to present the LOL Moment. Damien Mizdow wins, but when he comes out to accept, Miz steps in and steals it, not even giving Mizdow credit. Lana and Rusev come out to badmouth America. Jack Swagger rushes out to defend the honor of Zeb Colter. They announce Swagger/Rusev IV or V or something for TLC and Swagger locks him in the Ankle Lock. Officials separate them and while Rusev sells, Swagger is screaming and being held back. Looked pretty badass for sure.

Six man tag team time as Ryback teams with the Usos to take on Miz, Mizdow and Concessions or Corporate or Malibu Kane. The teams don't make sense, but this is alright. Nothing special but fun. ShellShock to Miz ends this and Seth Green, who was on commentary, comes into celebrate with them. They all do the "Feed Me More" stuff. It was, if nothing else, fun. A nice surprise follows as Ricky Steamboat is out to present the Match of the Year award. Who better to introduce this right? First of all, the match choices are far from the best. Team Cena vs. Team Authority wins, I guess because it's the most recent in the fan's memory. Whatever. It was damn good, but not MOTY. AJ Lee defeats Summer Rae in a match that has no real need. Just gets the Diva of the Year a win heading into her newly announced Divas Title shot at TLC.

I must have been right about the whole Dean Ambrose ambulance smoking theory because RVD is here! He's out, in a tux, to present the next award. The Extreme Moment of the year. I appreciate how Brock Lesnar's 16 German Suplexes made the list. That match was brutal. However, it's a different part-timer who wins, in Chris Jericho, for his cross body off the Steel Cage on the "season premiere" of Raw. Fandango and the awful Rosa Mendes show up to accept because Fandango beat Jericho in his debut. Lame. Booker T shows up to introduce the Superstar of the Year. It's not the guy who should have won. Not John Cena and his 15th World Title win. Not Bray or Dean, which was understandable. Not Brock, who won the belt and conquered the Streak. Not Bryan who won the WrestleMania main event. No Seth Rollins who is Mr. Money in the Bank. Roman fucking Reigns. The guy who eliminated 12 people in the Rumble and that's it. It was so rigged because guess what? Roman is here. He accepts, blah.

Huge main event tonight as John Cena looks to overcome the odds as he faces the giant Big Show! Stop me if you've heard this before. The match is painful, slow and dull. John Cena wins via disqualification because of Seth and J&J Security. Like it's Survivor Series coming up and not TLC, every member of Team Cena and Team Authority pretty much comes out and brawls. This giant brawl ends the show and I'm pretty sure they've done this each year before TLC. The Authority, or whatever the fuck they're called now, stand tall.

More enjoyable than last week, but still lacking. I believe it's a testament to the state of the WWE that so many awards went to part-timers. There is a lack of building new stars. Seth Rollins has been done well, but the up and down with Dean this year and even more so, Bray, has hurt their build. That's neither here nor there though, Raw itself was mediocre. No real standout matches but the Bray/Dean stuff was great, for the most part the TLC build was well done and the surprises were kind of cool. 5.5/10.