Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Raw is Kane 4/20/15 Review

How do you know when you're watching an episode of Monday night Raw? When we get a lengthy opening promo. The Steel Cage comes down and Randy Orton comes out to made tons of threats to Seth Rollins. The Champion, along with J&J Security interrupt and they trade barbs. Orton claims that while he can't RKO Seth at Extreme Rules, he promises to do so tonight. It was a pretty lame open. Our first match is between Dean Ambrose and Luke Harper but it never really starts. They just brawl all over the arena and it was just to build to give them a match at Extreme Rules, which would be announced as a Chicago Street Fight. Backstage, we continued the trend of making our Champion look like a total bitch. I don't mind him being nervous about a potential RKO, that's fine. But he complains to Triple H that he needs more security and Hunter tells him "it's only one guy Seth." I hate when Triple H does this. He's a heel but puts down another heel like he's a face so he can look cool in the fan's eyes. Awful. We move to a Number One Contender's match for the Tag Team Titles. The red hot Lucha Dragons take on the polarizing New Day. This was a really fun match and the crowd is totally into the Lucha Dragons. They do a double moonsault spot to the outside, but when the legal man Sin Cara goes to enter the ring again, Xavier Woods i sunder the ring and holds Kalisto's legs, as Kofi gets in the ring, resulting in the countout. The fans were disappointed but it helps give the Dragons a slower build and helps the New Day's slow heel turn. Everything was good until Randy Orton appeared. He took out Woods and Kofi with RKOs before Big E bitched out and left. I get Orton going nuts but he can't do this to jobbers backstage? Where's Adam Rose or Zack Ryder? Not only did this dude beat the Tag Team Champions by himself last week but now he took out the top contenders. So the whole tag division fucking sucks because Orton can beat them all basically.

In this week's "why the fuck did this make it on Raw" segment, Fandango faced AxelMania. The best thing about this whole thing was Curtis Axel dancing. It was a squash for Fandango to get him over as a face, though production botched the finish and played his shitty Hispanic theme before going back to the popular one. Why didn't Randy Orton come out here and RKO Axel? Whatever. Triple H is out to promote Tough Enough, which goes on for far too long. Kane appears to give his two week notice because he doesn't like Seth. Kane says they gave Seth everything and they could have put Dean Ambrose or El Torito in his spot and made them Champion. Sure guys. We should totally have Kane run down our top guy in 2015. That makes sense. HHH smooths things over and makes Kane the "Guardian of the Gate" in the Steel Cage match. So basically he guards the cage, even though it's locked. After a recap of Naomi's heel turn, she comes out to the SAME FUCKING BRODUS CLAY THEME. That is not heel music. Her pre-taped promo is justified since she never got her shot despite pinning Nikki twice. Naomi beat Brie Bella in a fine little match here, but Nikki Bella seemed to speak as a face on commentary. She talked about being fearless and being a fighting champion. If you do wanna turn the Bellas face, they should do it with a bit more flair than just have Nikki say positive things on commentary you know? My biggest issue here is that Naomi still works like a face and needs time to adjust. I'd be sad to see Nikki as a face though since she's become so good as a heel. Backstage, Heath Slater tells Erick Rowan that he's going to accept John Cena's Open Challenge tonight only for Orton to RKO him through a table. THATS HOW HE'S SUPPOSED TO DO THIS! NOT TO VALID SUPERSTARS!

Roman Reigns is out and thankfully, doesn't want to talk as he calls out Big Show. Instead, he gets Bo Dallas who delivers a great promo again. He calls Roman a bust and the "Tim Tebow" of the WWE. His voice cracks when he tells Roman to Bolieve and Reigns just punches and spears him. Well done. Short segment, kept Roman's talking to a minimum and he got to kick ass. Fine. Sheamus took on Zack Ryder next and hit a quick Brogue Kick. Instead of going for your typical squash match, Sheamus went movie villain and chose to monologue. He would beat on Ryder randomly during it until Dolph Ziggler made the save. The match ended via DQ. Another good segment to build towards the PPV.

It's time for one of the best segments lately, the John Cena Open Challenge. He comes out and cuts a John Cena promo. You know the one? He says the fans are hype, promotes his upcoming match, tells someone that if they want some, to come get it. Who accepts it? There hasn't been any Neville yet, maybe him. Nope. It's fucking Kane. Not even masked Kane. Just fucking Kane. It turned out to be your typical Kane/Cena match and I didn't give a shit about it. Cena retained obviously and Kane was disappointed. As Cena is getting interviewed backstage, Rusev attacks and puts him in the Accolade with a chain across Cena's face. It looks brutal. Now, The Miz and Damien Mizdow compete for the rights to the Miz brand. Summer Rae comes out with Mizdow, stealing the show with her tiny shorts. This match, that has had months of build is not only NOT on the PPV, but gets less than three minutes on Raw. Summer Rae turns on Mizdow and Miz wins. Wanna make sure the fans don't care about the winner? Have Randy Orton appear again and take Miz out with an RKO. At least Miz is leaving for a while so this didn't sting. We get told that the Tag Title match is on the Pre-Show this Sunday and there are questions on whether Daniel Bryan can defend his belt. Will he lose his smile this Sunday? We move to another Bray Wyatt promo where he talks about his next victim but doesn't tell us who that is. With the way he's booked, it's as if the WWE has no fucking clue what to do with Bray. They don't realize that they have someone extremely different and are clueless.

Ryback beats Adam Rose in a squash. We get it, Ryback can dominate scrubs. He's not the best wrestler but he's so over that he should be doing something with direction. We move to our main event, between Dolph Ziggler and Seth Rollins. This was your standard match between the two. They always do good but this wasn't over the top. Seth debuts a new DDT finisher since the Curb Stomp was banned and it sucks. The Curb Stomp didn't need to be banned since it doesn't really cause concussions. You don't really take the bump with your head. After the match, Rollins vows to retain on Sunday and says that Kane will be useless. Kane tries to attack but is held back by Triple H. Randy Orton appears in the cage and takes out Seth with an RKO. Overall, this Raw wasn't very good. You find time for Fandango, Curtis Axel, Adam Rose and Zack Ryder, but can't put Neville on the show? You waste like 17 segments on fucking Kane of all people? 4.5/10

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