Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Split Personality Kane Raw Review

In an absolutely shocking moment for me, Raw did not open with an Authority segment. I know Sting opened things recently but still. The Wyatt Family opened the show to discuss their win. Roman Reigns arrived and brawled. Dean Ambrose ran out to help, followed by Randy Orton. It was a chaotic start and didn't take up 20+ minutes. This was a refreshing start to Raw and things like this are needed more often. My only gripe is that I'd like to have heard more about Chris Jericho walking out on Shield lite but I guess that will either be ignored or saved for something down the line. Now, we went backstage where Seth Rollins tried to get in Kane's face, but Kane played dumb and said he only just got back and gave Seth his US Title rematch tonight. Goofy Kane would be a theme throughout the night.

There was a PPV 24 hours earlier which means that we have to get the obligatory rematch. This time, it was the Cosmic Wasteland taking on Neville and the Lucha Dragons. The match was much better at Night of Champions and this time the faces won. It was more of that 50/50 booking that helps nobody. The Cosmic Wasteland lose momentum here and the match felt like it meant nothing. Moving on, Kevin Owens joined commentary for Ryback's match with Bo Dallas. Ryback looked pissed throughout and attacked Bo but ended up getting worked over. Look, I like Bo and would like to see him as more than a jobber, but if he's going to be a jobber, then Ryback needed to just plow through him here. An angry Ryback murdering Bo after losing the belt would have been best. Owens tried a post match attack but Ryback sent him packing. Cool points to Owens for killing it on commentary once again.

We were now taken to an in celebration ceremony for Charlotte's Divas Title victory. Since these are usually reserved for cocky heels or faces like Jeff Hardy and Eddie Guerrero, who worked for years to get there, I assumed it was time for Paige's heel turn. Ric Flair came out first to put over his daughter again. We get it, she's a Flair. Can we move past this now? Charlotte thanked her dad and her friends, especially Paige. This is when Paige went off, stealing the microphone and saying that she started all of this and then telling Charlotte that there is no "Divas Revolution." She threw jabs at everyone, saying that Becky is irrelevant, Charlotte is only there because of her dad, the Bellas are here "for reasons we all know", Summer & Lana are more focused on who to jump on and questioning where the hell Natalya has been. She threw down the microphone and left, which brought out the Bellas, leading to Charlotte facing Brie. Charlotte obviously won but the real story was Paige. I think the heel turn was well executed and I like that it didn't just feature Paige randomly attacking Charlotte. Hopefully it goes somewhere good since heel Paige is infinitely better than face Paige. From the palest woman, things go to the palest man as Sheamus took on Mark Henry. Sheamus won and then cut a promo saying that, as far as he's concerned, he is the WWE Champion. Basic stuff that got Mr. Money in the Bank some heat back but was nothing more.

More from split personality Kane as he even plays the game with Stephanie and Triple H, saying that Stephanie must have lost his mask. Backstage, Paige runs into Natalya and calls her a "mother hen". New Day came out for a six man tag, with Xavier Woods cutting a funny promo about table shards being in his buttocks. They teamed with Rusev, aka my dream team, to face Dolph Ziggler and the Dudley Boyz. The dream team won a fun match, made all the better by how great the UpUpDownDown guys worked together. I wish that one of the Dudleys ate the pin instead of Ziggler though as it wouldn't have hurt them, especially if it was done with a handful of tights or something. Also, they announced the Dudleys get another shot on the October 3rd MSG show.

With Paige watching on a monitor backstage, Natalya returned to the ring against Naomi. They worked a short match that they managed to cram a lot into. Naomi won after her teammates got involved. I would normally point out that Sasha Banks should be doing a ton more, but I have hope that once she wraps up her NXT stuff on October 7th, she'll become more of a focal point. Big Show faced Cesaro next and guess the outcome? Cesaro loses. Look, I get that with Big Show having a match against Brock Lesnar in MSG, he could use wins, but why Cesaro? Why not have him squash Miz? Adam Rose? Fandango? Mark Henry? Or all of them at once? That would have been much more logical. He then cut a promo on how he beat Brock in MSG back in 2002 but whatever. That result was poorly done.

After our opening six man tag rematch and then the six man tag that mixed the Dudleys and Ziggler match, we just had to have one more Night of Champions rematch. John Cena vs. Seth Rollins. Which we saw a bunch at the end of 2014, on Raw a month ago, on SummerSlam and at NOC. They worked at a lesser pace than the PPV, which is kind of expected. Cena won with an AA, continuing the trend of making the WWE Champion his bitch because Cena > WWE Champion all of the fucking time. After Cena left, Corporate Kane appeared on the tron to say that Seth has a bunch of challengers lined up. His pyro went off and Demon Kane came up through the ring and pulled Seth into "hell." That ended the show. I think that this Raw was similar to the past few weeks. The wrestling wasn't really bad but the booking decisions continue to be baffling at times and the show drags at times. Some things were good, like goofy Kane, Paige's promo and the Rusev/New Day pairing. I'm okay with Seth/Kane if it's a fun one-off match. 5/10.

2 comments:

  1. I needed a few days to digest the uhm, TV Dinner portion of Raw. Namely Paige's promo. Wait, what about Seth/Cena? Well...

    - Seth is the worst booked champion this side of maybe recorded ever. How often is he losing on Raw? Is anyone even pretending to watch him get those wins back on Smackdown? Why did he win at Sunmerslam just to lose half his gold the month after? To ensure Jon Stewart won an Emmy? Shit like this is why ratings are in the shitter. (Not MNF like apologists and the E want you to believe.)

    - Now, Paige. I just saw the promo in its entirety and is there a more untrustworthy woman in that division than her? Who hasn't she turned on? She bitched for months that she couldn't get Nikki cause the numbers game was too much. Okay, here's some friends to help ya out from NXT. Fuck it, Buddy System in full effect! (Cause who really gives a shit about becoming champion?) So time goes by and finally, Charlotte dethrones Nikki. Oops, that wasn't part of Paige's Plan. So Paige spoils a lame celebration with a good promo with ONE SMALL PROBLEM...

    Right message, wrong messenger.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. (Damn word limit...)

      But yes, I have maintained that the biggest problem with the Divas division has been the reality show which has sucked all credibility and respectability out of it. Paige, when she first started out was the Anti-Diva. She wasn't Nikki or Brie, even though she's sorta built like Brie build wise.

      But the second she became part of that cast, she became part of the problem. Cause as irony would have it and I laughed internally hearing this, she said Becky would never be Divas Champion because she was the least relevant of them all.

      Uhm, how relevant were you Paige that you had to join the cast of Total Divas? The very same cast that AJ Lee went scorched earth on two Summers ago.

      The WWE has run this division under the ground in near record time. I can't even recall when this started, just when it went THUD. The fix for this off of this point isn't hard, but I don't believe that the E will do it.

      First, cancel Total Divas. Seriously, nobody affiliated with reality television is ever taken as anything more than an attention whore. (Hi Donald, how ya doing?)

      Second, GIVE THEM BACKGROUNDS. Nikki's story, as well told by her Sunday before she dropped the title, was good. Material Girl done good, it worked. Becky's story will make her seriously over by fans. Worked in NXT. Charlotte trying to live up to her dad's ridiculous legacy is a story. Sasha's quest to become the greatest ever is a story.

      I thumbed out how many stories in five minutes and I'm not even on payroll! I haven't had a cup of coffee yet. Why can't they do the same?

      We're weeks away from Sasha and Bayley headlining Takeover. Days after that, I suspect the other shoe will drop and Sasha will cut a similar promo about being saddled with dead weight. (I HOPE.)

      Delete