Saturday, August 9, 2014

Smackdown Report 8/9/14

I've yet to mention this, but I like the Smackdown opening theme song. Main Event and NXT also have good ones. Anyway, Dean Ambrose opened Smackdown because it's time to announce the stipulation that he chooses for SummerSlam. He says that he had the entire week to think about the stipulation and suggests JBL's Cowboy Hat on a Pole and a good housekeeping match. He gets interrupted by Seth Rollins. How great is it that The Shield produced three main event superstars? Ambrose picks a damn Lumberjack match. Seriously? Not a steel cage? Not something, oh I don't know, interesting? An f'n Lumberjack match. Stupid and it actually hurts my excitement for this match. Anyway, Seth makes a better choice when he's allowed to pick Dean's opponent for tonight as he chooses Randy Orton.


Big Show makes his return to the WWE next as he teams with another guy who just returned, Mark Henry. They take on Rybaxel, meaning that the "Big Guy" Ryback, is the second smallest guy in the match. JBl gets the line of the night when he says that while Henry and Show are a big tag team, the Truth Commission was bigger but they were five guys. As one would expect, this didn't last too long and Show and Henry picked up the victory. Cutting backstage, Dolph Ziggler is watching Seth Rollins lose to Heath Slater and telling jokes to the Divas, Adam Rose and Rosebuds. Rollins challenges him for tonight and we've got another fun match booked.


Sin Cara is in the ring when the show returns. Oh joy. They actually change the hashtag from #Smackdown to #999. Seriously. Damien Sandow comes out as a border patrol agent because apparently Sin Cara is an illegal immigrant. The match itself was average and of course, Sandow was unable to win so that damn Sin Cara gets to stay in this country illegally. JBL should step in next, he did throw Mexicans off the border hilariously in the past.


Time for two of my favorite guys on the roster to go at it. Dolph Ziggler vs. Seth Rollins! They've met a few times before and it's always a treat. Of course, it was once again a really good back and forth match. I feel like it's nearly impossible for either of these guys to ever have a bad match. Seth targeted the shoulder once Dolph crashed into the turnbuckle and it ended up leading to his victory. After nearly 13 minutes of fine action and some near falls from Dolph, Seth puts him away with the Blackout. I still refuse to call it the Curb Stomp. I know what the Curb Stomp is. 


Renee Young and her perfect self interviews Randy Orton, who mentions that both he and Dean Ambrose are unstable but he's going to show that he's also unstoppable. I would love a feud down the line between Ambrose and Orton. Divas action time, as Paige takes on Natalya. Side note, Natalya is going to be debuting new attire soon, she showed it off on Twitter last night. I'm glad we get a Divas match here. Raw didn't have one so I missed out. I mean, yea we got Summer Rae/AJ on Main Event and Cameron/Emma on Superstars, but still. Solid Divas match that Paige won with the PTO. Also, Paige is totally adorable.


So, did the WWE drop the Xavier Woods/Kofi Kingston/Big E stable? I mean, I understood Woods coming out with his old gimmick on NXT because it's pre-recorded from weeks ago, but to have Big E come out as his old self on Smackdown and be a face is weird. Then, he got squashed by Rusev in less than two minutes. Didn't they have competitive matches on Pay-Per-Views? Where were Kofi and Woods? Couldn't they find another face to get squashed. Then we get a recap of the build for Chris Jericho vs. Bray Wyatt, with the focus on how Bray will be alone. Jericho then says that he will follow the buzzards and shove them down Bray's throat. Ouch. 


Main event time as we get Dean Ambrose vs. Randy Orton, one on one. Ambrose is his usual crazy self, launching himself outside onto Orton, but Randy is his vicious self as he targets Dean's messed up shoulder. They make it a point to say that the Lumberjacks at SummerSlam don't like Rollins or Ambrose, which makes the stipulation an even dumber choice. Ambrose trash talks Orton while in a submission, which is just perfect. After about 12 minutes, Rollins pulls Ambrose out of the ring to cause the disqualification. They brawl after the match but Orton being there puts Rollins in control. Orton leaves them and Seth pours soda over Dean in a bit of revenge for him doing the same thing to the briefcase on Raw.


In the end, every match on this show except for the main event and Ziggler/Rollins was very short. When I watch Smackdown, I expect longer matches, but the WWE continues to waste valuable television time with an absurd amount of recap videos. The two long matches were solid though, the Big Show return tag was not bad and the divas match was short but sweet so it wasn't all bad. 5/10.

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